Fandom: Naruto
Title: It Doesn't Always Make Sense
Genre: ANGST
Characters: Kakashi x Iruka
Rating: R Warnings: Character Death, some blood gore not to heavy, suicide.
Comments/ Summary: Sometimes people do things we don't understand and cant prevent. And sometimes it hurts us so badly we cant carry on.
Disclaimer: I do not own in any way these character nor do I profit from these fleeting fancies. All rights belong to the original creator, Masashi Kishimoto.
A/N Ok so I don't mean to put a damper on anyone's merry making but it was recently the 10 year anniversary of a friends suicide and in about a month it will be the 10 year anniversary of another friends suicide, these events really effected how my life has gone and the paths I've chosen. So anyways I needed to vent.. this is the product of that venting... I hope you are entertained by the story. I will be posting later the next chapter of my Christmas fic and be back on track with me holiday cheer promise.
It Doesn't Always Make Sense
Slicing pain sears up nerve endings telling the body its in pain, but all warnings of harm being done are ignored. There is no physical pain that can ever compare to the pain of losing a part of your very soul. Once more the questions flew through his pain riddled thoughts. How could one so loved, so admired take suck a desolate path? When he had received the news he had wanted to scream, fall to his knees and cry, curse every god he had ever heard of. But like the good shinobi he was he had simply taken the dog tags and walked away. First had been sorrow then bitter anger biting and eating at what was left of his soul and heart, anger at his lover anger at himself. Why hadn't his love been enough? What hadn't he given that his love had needed? It wasn't right , it wasn't the way a good ninja should die, they were killed in battle defending their village, the lucky ones lived to die of old age. Only the men and women who had failed their homeland, loved ones and selves, became the pitiful ghost of humans who took this path out. Heartbroken ghost like he himself had become when he had returned from his mission to be handed those wretched dog tags, ghost of men like his father when the village had turned its back on him. So why?
Hot liquid life seeped out of the first cut of his fathers tanto draws him back to the task at hand. Had Iruka felt this cold and empty when he had taken his life? Why had his love not been enough, Kakashi wondered again as he took a steadying breath before pulling that cursed knife across his stomach. Hopefully this sacrifice of his life would be enough to reunite them, he thought as darkness and pain filled his world.
They found him in much the same fashion they had found Iruka a month earlier. Dark red blood pooled around him staining silver hair and pale skin as it had stained tan flesh and chocolate locks. The only difference was the glint of metal in the jounins hand near the tanto handle, Iruka's dog tags.
What could they have done different what could have prevented this travesty? Sometimes there are simply no answers. Their ashes spread over the forest of fire country by those that had cared and loved the pair. Spread with payers that in their next life they night find the happiness that had slipped away from this one.