AN: okay hey guys I just felt like writing another story. Yes I know that I have to finish my other story but I still wanted to write this because it recently happened to me. And a good friend told me I should so here you go Leana!! Oo and the italics are flashbacks!

Dedication: I dedicate this to sarah, lyrica and pat thanxs for being there. I love you guys!!

Disclaimer: the characters are not mine but the emotions and plot is all mine.

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Ginny could feel her whole body trembling.

"How could he do this?" she asked herself, hearing that she had said it out loud.

"Its okay," she told herself. "No ones here anyway."

Ginny was all alone in the girls washroom, crying her chocolate brown eyes out.

"I can't believe he's having this effect on me." Ginny hopelessly cried out. Her hollow voice echoed through the empty bathroom. "I don't even know why I like him!" Ginny sat in a locked stall with her legs wide-open not caring how she looked or even if she lived again. This is the instant Ginny swept down to scratch her ankle. Although it wasn't a normal itch that needed to be scratched, she ripped and teared her skin until she could see the fleshy undergrowth of it.

All the while her memories of her and Harry's moments flashed before her eyes.

The first time she had ever seen him, she was stuck in fear. She couldn't move or speak and her stomach just kept doing this annoying flip. During the summer all she heard was Harry this or Harry that. Without her knowledge she was slowly starting to develop a deep crush on Harry. This Ginny didn't understand. "I don't even know him," Ginny would constantly ask herself. "Then why do I feel like I would do anything for him?" Blowing out her frustrations, she reached over and stuck her head in her pillow.

At this Ginny started to scratch harder, feeling her pain physically. "How could I be so stupid," was the next thought that floated through her mind.

Every time she would see Harry, Ginny would instantly light up and bounce over to him. "There goes Potter's lover," someone would whisper. Ginny didn't care. Honestly that's what she wanted. She wanted to be with Harry. Her and Harry. Ginny and Harry. Harry and Ginny. Any way she would spin it, it would still put a smile on her face.

"Why would I think that would ever happen?" Ginny thought to herself. This lead to her making her wound deeper. Her fingernail upon her battered skin made her eyes water and Ginny had to bit her lip to keep from screaming.

She was in her defense against the dark arts class with Harry, he had left his parchment behind. Ginny noticed this and quickly scooped it up and headed for Harry. "This is a way for me to talk to him," Ginny remembers thinking to herself. With a wide smile she fully approached Harry not afraid of what might or might not happen.

"Hey Harry. Is this yours?" she would ask, ever so nicely.

"Oh yah!" Harry exclaimed. "My potions lab. Thanks a lot Gin. I would have ended up failing." Harry was apparently so happy that he decided to give her a hug. Ginny was immediately melting into his arms. Nothing else seemed to matter. She was just happy to be in that position.

"How could I ever have felt that way?" Ginny screamed at herself. She deepened her wound, likening the hurt she was feeling.

From that moment on, Ginny would always try to steal hugs from him and soon it became her life. She would schedule different times so that she could actually "bump" into him before her classes, and would sit there day dreaming about him. She was actually very happy with this life. Most of her friends knew about her crush and was totally supportive when she would gush over him. This made her feel so happy. If they did get together then everything she dreamed of since the beginning of the school year would pay off.

"How? How? How?" Ginny muttered to herself. Muttering was all she could do because if she raised her voice just a little she would yell in pain. The ever so constant itch was being filled with blood. However Ginny didn't care.

Until one day she decided to tell him. Every time she would see him, she wanted to burst out yelling, "I fancy you! I fancy you a lot!" It was just bugging her so much that the guy she seemed to like so much did not know her true feelings. She has been doing everything for him. She "helped" him with his homework, helped him cheat on tests, even went out of her way to come to classes to talk to Sidney, where surprisingly Harry stood. She even brought him a Christmas gift that was much more over her budget.

Today was the day she was going to confess to him. "Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" Ginny yelled at herself. She could feel the blood on her finger hardening.

"Why did I even have to like him!" she exclaimed. At this she scratched harder, injuring herself more.

"I don't even know him that much! Why did I have to tell him? WHY?" Ginny was in so much pain, but she didn't care. She felt that the pain she was feeling on her ankle was nothing compared to what her beating heart was feeling.

Ginny collapsed. She couldn't do this anymore. She knew she was hurting herself, but she couldn't help it. Somehow it just made her feel better. However in this situation it made her feel weak. Unwanted. Unused. Discarded. And she hated that feeling. Just as she was going to scratch that never ending itch someone opened the door, and she heard a familiar voice.

"Gin?" it called out to her.

"Shit," Ginny whispered under her breath. She quickly tried to hide her hurt ankle. "Maybe if I stay really quiet, then they wont…" but Ginny never ended up finishing her thought because just then the voice she found so familiar was standing just outside her locked stall.

"Gin I know your in there." The voice said.

"No you don't." Ginny thought.

"I can see your feet." It lashed back.

"Yes I'm in here Sidney." Ginny struggled to say. Obviously she couldn't talk when she was crying.

"Guys she's in here!" Sidney yelled to the outside world.

"Ginny. I'm coming in." Sidney said. You could hear her struggling over the top of the stall.

"No really Sid, that's okay, I need to be by myself-" Ginny tried saying.

"Well, its too late now." Sidney said dropping to the bathroom floor. " I'm locked in here with you too." Sidney had long blond hair and was fairly tall. This girl was Ginny's lifesaver.

The sound of the open door wandered into the bathroom.

"Sid? Is Ginny here?" One voice asked.

"Yah she's here." Sidney answered, yelling from the stall.

Ginny heard whispering and then two bodies appeared on either side of the stall. On the left side was Maynard and on the right side was Madison. Maynard had short brown hair that she always enjoys dying different colors. Madison has bright red hair and wears square tip glasses that make her look more defined. Although it may seem that these girls are fairly close, that assumption is wrong. Ginny and Madison only talked a couple of times, but they instantly clicked. Ginny was closer to Sidney than with Madison but they weren't exactly best friends. However Maynard was on of Ginny's closet friends, and she was the one who started.

"Okay Gin, were here." Maynard said. "Explain to us why you are sitting on a toilet, balling your eyes out."

"Yah," Madison agreed. "Were here if you want to talk." Sidney nodded in agreement.

Ginny looked at all there waiting faces. Their concern touched her so much. She couldn't help it, she had to cry again.

"Aww its okay Gin," Sidney said tapping her back. "Whatever happened you know that were here for you." Sidney smiled, and Ginny couldn't resist, she had to smile back. Then it all came out like word vomit.

"Well it's just this guy…" Ginny started.

"Harry," all three of them confirmed. Ginny presented a weak smile and continued.

"Well you guys know how much I like him, and today I wanted to tell him." Ginny struggled with the last few words. She couldn't do this. It was too hard; Ginny could feel her eyes starting to swell.

"I asked him to stay after class so I could tell him. You know, in person." Ginny began to cry again. This time she could still muster up the courage to talk about her problem.

"Well he ran out of the room before I could get to him. And he has been acting like that for a long time. And I don't know. It all kind of snowballed." Ginny was pouring her eyes out. With each word it become louder and slower, just as if someone was pulling this from her lips and Ginny didn't want to let go of it.

"Oh that son of a bitch!" Madison proclaimed. "Its okay he is so not worth it. He is not worth your tears." Maynard nodded.

"Yah, no guy is ever worth that." Maynard added. "Like I said before you can not let it ruin your whole life."

"The thing is-" Ginny whispered. "I don't even know WHY I like him."

"If you just keep asking why, you will never find out." Maynard wisdomed. "Trust me. I used to have a giant crush on Seamus, I just could not figure out why I liked him so much. So would keep asking myself, why do you like him May? Why? And soon I feel into depression. That's what your in now. You don't have to find out the answers right away. It just sort of comes to you."

"Okay, okay I get you." Ginny realized. "But I don't understand why am I feeling so bad. Its not like we were dating or anything." Ginny' face fell. Its-not-like-we-were-dating. This passed through Ginny's mind in a slow and steady pace, so she could absorb it.

"Don't worry about it," Madison said. "I swear he is the biggest player in the whole school! Last year he asked me out and the next day I saw him making out with another girl!"

Ginny smiled at this. She wasn't the only one he had hurt. "Yah your right. I don't need this bullshit." Ginny's voice began to fill with power again. "But then why do I still feel sad every time I think about him?" She questioned herself. This made Ginny miserable again.

"Look," Sidney commented. "I don't know what it is like to have a crush this big but what I do know is that this-" She lifted her arms to signify 'this', "all comes in waves."

It took Ginny a while to soak it all in.

"For a while it will be all peaches and cream, then all the hurt and anger all build up and crushes you. But you know eventually it will die down. The water will clear and it will be back in peachy land." Sidney spoke her words of wisdom. "And by the end of the day I want to see you happy. I want my bubbly Ginny back"

Ginny smiled. "Yah your right." Ginny realized. "I don't need someone who will take advantage of me, and I cant let him have this effect on me. He's just winning. He's winning. And I will try to be happy, just for you Sid" With that final statement Ginny wiped away her tears. Although she was afraid to admit that she did still have feelings for him. She wasn't going to let Sidney, Maynard and Madison know. She was okay for now and that was all she needed.

After the final hugs had been passed. They all walked to class together, even though they all had different classes. Ginny walked them to each of their classes reassuring them that she was fine.

Just as she walking to class, she caught Harry in the back of her eye. She looked up to see that he was starting at her. However once their eyes meet Harry looked down and went back talking to his friend. Just like that. Like nothing had happened. Like she hadn't been crying over him for the last two periods, and now that her red eyes sported that idea.

That is when she realized that Harry didn't care for her. And if he didn't care for her she didn't care about him. And just like that, her crush was gone. All of Sidney's, Maynard's, and Madison's words kicked in.

'It all comes in waves…don't ask why…biggest player,' all flashed through her mind. It all made sense now. After she started liking him, he started to pay more attention to her. More of, 'Gin can you help me with this? Or Gin what's the answer to number five?' And him just by ignoring her that split second ago made her all realized the bullshit that floated around this relationship. This angered Ginny. This angered Ginny so much that she skipped charms and headed straight into the library.

Once she was there, she pulled out her quick-ink quill and started writing.

Life will go on,

No matter how bad it feels.

Sometime you learn the hard way

But life-will-go-on

Don't ever cry over a guy

Yes that's great advice

But it is very hard to follow

I admit that I did, sadly.

He didn't give a fuck

I don't give a fuck

My new favorite word is fuck.

It feels so empowering

It love it

FUCK

Who knew that people I hardly talk to were there for me?

It's amazing that they could give such great advice

Especially Sidney.

All my wishes went to waste, though

Because sadly, they were all about him

But who really gives a fuck

Excellent my power word

Well I'm over it now

Excellent, great

He's an asshole

I'm glad I've finally realized

Assholes come in all shapes and sizes

He saw me and didn't say a thing!

"No, I'm not pissed." WHAT FUCKEN BULLSHIT

He's not pissed, what the fuck do I care?

But as I'm writing this

I'm not crying.

All that therapy within two classes,

It seems like it would have taken a lifetime to get over it

Hahahaha but it's great.

No concern or anything was found on his face.

Though I still question why I fucken liked him

It is just a stupid guy! The fuck

I shouldn't take anything from that jackass

Excellent I think I'll take him off my party list.

I'm so glad that it ended

surly and truly I'm over him

I can think about his name, even his face and nothing happens.

Erase memory.

Reset.

Ginny let out a sigh of relief. It was good to get that out of her system. With a newfound smile on her face she set out to her next class. But before she went to class she had to make a quick stop. She bounced over to Sidney's potions class and tapped at the door. The heavy wooded door opened quite slowly and Ginny was greeted by Snape's nasty snarl.

"Excuse me Professor. Do you mind if I have a word with Sidney Harrous?" Ginny asked as politely as she could.

Professor Snape looked at her for a moment and finally gave in when Ginny presented him with her puppy-dog face.

"Very well. Ms. Harrous, Ms. Weasly is here to see you." Snape demanded in monotone

"Hey what's up? What's wrong?" Sidney asked looking with concern. But once she saw Ginny's face she knew everything was all right. She was practically glowing. A slow smile started to creep onto Ginny's face. It was biggest and bright smile Ginny had ever flashed anyone with.

"See Sid, I'm smiling." Ginny said.

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AN: okay I hoped you guys liked it! Sorry I don't really know how to express myself in that kind of situation. But the letter Ginny wrote to herself was the original. That's what I wrote in my notebook write after all this happened. Anyways plz tell me what u think of it. D thanxs for reading!