Harry didn't have one of the best life. At his house he was constantly abused by his aunt and uncle and picked on by his cousin and gang. He started to become suicidal and depressed. All he wanted was or all his pain to be over and be dead.
He was now in class in his head thinking of the ways he could die or kill himself but he snapped back into real lie when Ron elbowed his side. He came back in time to hear what spell they would be learning.
"The spell reveals what your song accurately represents your soul also today professor McGonagall will be joining us for reasons." Professor Snape says.
Everyone was murmuring as what their song would be. They would all be doing it no one wouldn't have the chance to miss out. They would all play at least 2 or 3 songs just to see if there is anything they should know about.
Harry didn't pay attention all he was focused in was how close summer was and how terrible that was going to be. He did see the other people's memories when they sang along with the others but he paid no attention to them and stayed in his mind once again.
"Next is Harry Potter" Professor McGonagall said snapping Harry out of his mind. Harry looked and McGonagall. "Solemne est anima mea" She said.
Snape was expecting some happy song to start playing but never what he started to hear. Along what with he was hearing the memories was not expected either.
A seemingly cheerful song began to play but the lyrics were sad. Then the memories began to play for everyone to see.
"My legs are dangling off the edge,
The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,
I think I'll slit my wrist again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone."
Harry was in his bedroom at the Dursleys and his arms were covered in red with a razor blade in his arm. Tears dropped down on his face and he was cutting none stop. Everyone froze what else would they be seeing?
"My legs are dangling off the edge,
A stomach full of pills didn't work again,
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone."
Harry was once again in his bedroom in the Dursleys with a bottle of pills. They were anti-depressant that he got from his doctors a while back after he pretended to be okay again. The opened the cap with fidgety hands and poured the pills in his hands swallowing them before his vision went black
"Gone too far and yeah, I'm gone again,
It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends,
I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends,
One's a bottle of pills, one's a bottle of gin,"
Harry was in the bedroom slowly seeing that the pills weren't enough and he didn't die. He chucked the pills and gripped his hair in frustration. He just wanted it to be all over.
"I'm 20 stories up, yeah, up at the top,
I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off,
Asphalt to me has never looked so soft,"
He was looking out the window imaging him jumping out he window dying right then and there. But then again it would that didn't seem worth it. The window was too small to jump out of and it was a small drop, at most a couple broken bones.
"I bet my friends found my letter, now their calling the teach,
I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it,
'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance,"
Harry was in the library planning his suicide pretending to read. What would his last words be? Where would be put the note? He wanted to die but he doesn't want them to hurt. Who was 'they'? Sure Ron and Hermione would cry and be upset but they had each other and he felt like a third wheel. Who would he need to impress so much?
"Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent,
'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is,
I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife,
But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice,"
Harry was in the boy's dormitory cutting his wrist again and he saw it was very dull he did a spell quietly and sharpen the razor before cutting once more.
"I never bought a suit before in my life,
But when you go to meet God, you know you wanna look nice."
Harry was back the Dursleys and he was wearing he nicest clothes he could find in the close before the tried swallowing pills again, same result as last time.
"So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."
Harry was this time littler elementary school young. Unlike the other memories it looked like first year but this was like 6 or 7 he was in the cupboard crying cutting his wrist in the moonlight hoping he would die.
"My legs are dangling off the edge,
The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,
I think I'll slit my wrist again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone,"
Harry was in the park playground on the swings. Then he got an idea if he fell off he could die. Then his grip loosened and he fell from high up into the ground passing out.
"My legs are dangling off the edge,
A stomach full of pills didn't work again,
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone."
Harry was a first year and admiring the view of the sky and lake from where he was. He was pretty high up he could probably jump off right now and die. He smiled and was so close to hang is feet off before he was gripped in the arm by Professor McGonagall and given detention.
"We hit the sky, there goes the light, no more sun, why's it always night?
When you can't sleep, well, you can't dream,
When you can't dream, well, what's life mean?"
Harry was in the boys dormitory wondering my he was alive. Why couldn't he die with his parents? What was he point of living? Was nothing. He only got attention from that stupid scar. What is that's the only reason people liked him?
"We feel a little pity, but don't empathize
The old are getting older, watch a young man die,
A Mother and a Son and someone you know, smile at each other and realize you don't,
You don't know what happened to that kid you raised,
What happened to the Father, who swore he'd stay?"
Harry looked at the photo of him and his parents Hagrid had given him. They didn't they stay with him? Could he just die already and join them?
"I didn't know 'cause you didn't say,
Now Mamma feels guilt, yeah, Mamma feels pain,
When you were young, you never thought you'd die,
Found that you could but too scared to try,
You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye,
Climb to the roof to see if you could fly."
He was cutting he sees his parents upset and he just turns them around ignoring them. He looked out the window. Maybe he could fly. He might just try some day. But there were always other ways to die.
"So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
My legs are dangling off the edge,
The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,
I think I'll slit my wrist again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone,
My legs are dangling off the edge,
A stomach full of pills didn't work again,
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone."
Harry was at quidditch practice and he was high up. Maybe if he fell down from here he could snap his neck and die. But when Gryffindor couldn't compete in the match and Oliver was counting on him. Maybe another time he could try to die.
"I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky,
Like a bird so high,
Oh I might just try,
I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky,
Like a bird so high,
Oh I might just try,
Oh I might just try."
One again Harry saw death just other the walls. Once he fell down from the Dursleys window he would be dead. The decided it was time and jumped but he opened his eyes and saw that he was in the hospital wing. He remembered he was in a fight with Voldemort last time. Why couldn't he have just died then?
He once the song ended everyone was upset and tears were either rolling downs their face or pricked their eyes. The song was over and then soon another song and pair of memories came in play.
"Hey, boy, open the walls, play with your dolls
We'll be a perfect family.
When you walk away is when we really play
You don't hear me when I say,
"Mom, please wake up.
Dad's with a slut, and your son is smoking cannabis.""
Harry in school seeing all the happy parent and families, they looked like they loved each other nothing Harry had ever felt. He felt numb and tired. Suicidal and depressed the usual feelings. He had his baggy clothes to hide the cuts along with the Bruises from the beating last night
"No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens
Don't let them see what goes down in the kitchen."
Harry burnt the eggs again and aunt Petunia was mad. She grabbed a frying pan and hit him in the head with it. He coward as his uncle beat him and both of them scream at him.
"Places, places, get in your places
Throw on your clothes and put on your doll faces.
Everyone thinks that we're perfect
Please don't let them look through the curtains."
An offer had come in for uncle Vernon and the was shoved into his room as he looked threw to see how happy the Dursleys looked while hiding. But he had to get Dobby to stop before he can get another beating.
"Picture, picture, smile for the picture
Pose with your cousin, won't you be a good person?
Everyone thinks that we're perfect
Please don't let them look through the curtains."
He was on the floor cowering and scared while his uncle beat him senseless. He was crying for them to stop but they didn't listen at the end he was in the ground beaten and weak.
"D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E
I see things that nobody else sees.
(D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E
I see things that nobody else sees)"
Harry looked in the mirror seeing the bruises that had formed from the meaning and he limped back to his room and cried.
"Hey, boy, look at my aunt, she's got it going on
Ha, you're blinded by her jewelry.
When you turn your back she pulls out a flask
And forgets his infidelity.
Uh-oh, she's coming to the attic, plastic,
Go back to being plastic."
His aunt had fancy jewelry in when she left with Vernon for date night. He was alone with Dudley and his gang. He was running the backyard before they got him and they beat him up. They were kicking and punching and yelling at him. Calling him freak.
"No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens
One day they'll see what goes down in the kitchen."
No one at school knew about the abused. Hogwarts or Stonewall. All they cared about was they. Harry wanted to cry out for help but kept quiet instead for the better.
"Places, places, get in your places
Throw on your clothes and put on your doll faces.
Everyone thinks that we're perfect
Please don't let them look through the curtains."
One he entered the train station he smiled and then pretended to be what the people thought was he. Inside was dying, crying and just didn't want to exist.
"Picture, picture, smile for the picture
Pose with your cousin, won't you be a good person?
Everyone thinks that we're perfect
Please don't let them look through the curtains."
He was back at the house and he was cleaning while his mother ordered him to do stuff while she tendered to her child. He clean as usual hoping he could just die.
"D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E
I see things that nobody else sees.
(D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E
I see things that nobody else sees)
Hey, boy (hey, boy, hey, boy, hey, boy, hey, boy, hey, boy, hey, boy , hey, boy...)
Hey, boy, open your walls, play with your dolls
We'll be a perfect family."
He was on his bed in the cupboard tending his bruises for mom last night beatings. He wrapped the wounds and laid down crying once again.
"Places, places, get in your places
Throw on your clothes and put on your doll faces.
Everyone thinks that we're perfect
Please don't let them look through the curtains."
He was in the school yard being chased by Dudley and his gang but then floated to the roof. He was safe but he wanted to jump and die. He was going to get a beating tonight for beating freakish. He knew it.
"Picture, picture, smile for the picture
Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?
Everyone thinks that we're perfect
Please don't let them look through the curtains."
Harry was being starved in the cupboard wanted food but having only scraps for a week while he's in there.
"D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E
I see things that nobody else sees.
(D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E
I see things that nobody else sees)"
He sees all the bad stuff when people turn their backs from the Dursleys. They were abusers. He faced the house before sighing and walking in. He was back in hell.
Everyone was shocked. No one knew he was abused and hurting. Almost everyone was in tears at this point. Another song rolled along. Everyone wanted it to stop but it was too addictive.
"I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better
I'm sorry mom and dad
For all the time I had
To get my life, to get my life together
But I didn't"
He was failing school on purpose so Dudley can seem smarter. He didn't feel like trying Dudley would always be praised and he just wanted to get life over with. He had more time to get better grades but why?
"1980
You gave birth to me
Sweet little baby boy
Had the world at my feet
Before I could even stand
Cradled me in your right and your left hand
A precious bundle of unmade plans
Hopes and dreams of bigger things
A bright future
So it seemed"
Harry looked in the mirror of Erised. His parents were from of him. He wanted to live with them once again and they were smiling and they looked like a family, a happy one.
"But that light grew a little less bright
As I grew up and we began to fight
When I was 3
I was so damn mean
Running away
Had nothing more to say
Than "I hate you""
He was in a nightmare. All the teacher his friends and everyone he knew was there. They were all yelling at him calling him a failure, nothing, freak, good for nothing. He had no potential in life he would go nowhere.
"But that's not true now
I just don't, I just don't, I just don't know how
To say."
Harry was angry why would his parents drink and drive? His uncle told him a lie they died from drinking. And driving. He was so angry. If they hadn't drink they could have been happier together.
"I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better
I'm sorry mom and dad
For all the time I had
To get my life, to get my life together
But I didn't"
He was in a new school a chance to be better and good grades. He was sitting in potion in his first day while the teacher questioned him harshly. He didn't know anything about this culture and he felt like crying. He was a failure and didn't do so well on his first day. How would it be the rest of the time?
"You never talk about me to your friends
Because you must be so embarrassed
I dropped out of college without any plans
Moved back home, I couldn't even pay rent
I was living on your couch
Trying to figure it out
Cutting myself up
Tearing myself down"
Harry was in a hospital room with a little girl in front of him. The girl was his best friend and she would always help Harry in times of need and smile. She was in a coma from a car accident. She was only 6 years old. So was he.
"I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better
I'm sorry mom and dad
For all the time I had
To get my life, to get my life together
But I didn't"
Harry sees the Hogwarts letter being burned in the fireplace and how his uncle was complaining about the school.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't buy you that house upon the hill
Or take care of all your medical bills
I know I didn't make you proud
I should've been someone by now
But I never figured out how"
He was in the hospital and he saw the little Hogwarts letter on the desk where his best friend was still in a coma. Her family was rich so they would keep her alive for years. Harry desperately wanted her to come back.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't buy you that house upon the hill
Or take care of all your medical bills
I know I didn't make you proud
I should've been someone by now
But I never figured out how"
Harry was in a hill with a little girl who had short brown hair and eyes. Harry smiled and then saw her whisked away and she was gone. It was all just a memory
"I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better
I'm sorry mom and dad
For all the time I had
To get my life, to get my life together"
He was studying in the common room but her couldn't contantrait. He kept thinking of the people he let down. His best friend who was in a coma, His mom and dad, and so many more people he has let down.
"I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better
I'm sorry mom and dad
For all the time I had
To get my life, to get my life together
But I didn't
Sincerely, your child"
Harry was a child wondering where his parents were and why he was left here. He was in a cupboard in the dark feeling bad about himself once again.
Everyone had tears in their eyes either sobbing or just silent crying of his traumatic experiences. As for Harry he was just sitting still unaffected. He was so used to theses feelings unlike the others so he was just numb to it.
No one knew how to react. Run just stared he felt paralyzed. He wanted to cheer up Harry but how? He was silently crying wondering how all of this went unnoticed. Many questions were running threw his head.
Hermione always subconsciously going over to Harry and hugging him and comforting him telling him it would all be okay. She was figuring out all the signs and what they now meant. She was wondering how they could fix all his problems.
Professor Snape was shocked. He only had a single tear running down. His best friend's Lilly her child was abused, depressed, suicidal. All his assumptions of him were wrong he wasn't a golden boy far from it. He was broken and beaten down not hidden behind a mask.
Professor McGonagall was equally parts sad and furious. How could Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster, The man she trusted, leave him in this place? She wanted to help his poor not knowing Lily and James wanted the best for Harry and wanted him to leave a good life.
Draco the man who Harry hated and hated him was also crying. He always thought Harry would be praised at home and they worshipped him. He thought he would share his adventures while they wanted more stories. He never thought in a million years the Boy-who-lived would be at all like that.
Harry just stared at him emotionless. He was so used to those thought and wasn't even phased. He just sighed and cut the silence.
"Who's next?" Harry asked not even care what others thought he just wanted it all over with. Everyone just stared at him bewildered. He was okay with it? He didn't mind all those memories?
"Harry... why didn't you tell us?" Hermione asked.
"It didn't seem important. I didn't want to be pitted." Harry shrugged.
"'didn't seem important'? Potter your those muggle are abusing you and they made you suicidal and depressed!" Professor Snape yelled.
"Who said it was just the Dursleys?" Harry said sassily. They all just stayed quiet. Was it their fault as well? "Look on the bright side. I'm still living unfortunately but they I'm alive and soon to be dead. Yay"
"Harry Potter you're joking. You would you want to die? You so have much to live for." Ron said. Then anger fueled Harry and he snapped.
"Oh yes I have so much to live for. I have a good family back home who love me and treat me equally. I'm happy and glad all the damn time. I make good grades and I have so many friend back home as well. Nobody has ever lied to me and made me feel bad about myself. My parents are still alive and we all live together happy that Voldemort is dead. And my best friend isn't in a coma from a car accident and she's alive and here with me in Hogwarts." Harry said angry and sarcastically.
They wanted to retort but there was nothing they could do. They all felt powerless at this moment. They couldn't help to helpless boy.
"Your father and mother would be a shame at what has happened to you. They would be furious at your aunt and uncle and help you" McGonagall said.
"Really? I wouldn't know. They are dead after all because of Voldemort. How would I know how they felt? For the first 11 years of my life I thought they died from drunk driving." Harry said
Draco has enough with the bickering and went up to Harry and pulled his sleeves and looked at the scars.
"Harry you did this to yourself you shouldn't be doing this. Your alive for a reason, for parents died protecting you from Voldemort. If you die now your parents died for nothing. You have a chance you be better. I can convince someone to take care of you just don't cut." Draco said. Everyone was shocked why would he care about Harry?
"Why? Why does everyone want me to live? They all care just because of the stupid scar. " Harry said infuriated.
Harry didn't feel happy anymore after his best friend was gone. She made him happy and like his partner unlike a third wheel like with Ron and Hermione.
"Harr-" Draco's voice was cut off my a knocking at the door.
The door opened and they see Professor Dumbledore. Everyone glared at him. If he hadn't left Harry with the Dursleys he would be okay. Dumbledore felt the glares and looked around.
"Minerva what is wrong." Dumbledore asked.
"We'll discuss after you tell out what you are here for." McGonagall said a bit harshly.
"Well a family had come to visit Harry and I knew he would be delighted to see them." Dumbledore said.
Everyone was hoping it was the Dursleys so they can curse them and get revenge for what they did to Harry. Hell even the Slytherin were mad at this send it was a surprise. But then Dumbledore stepped aside and saw a girl around there age.
She had a freshly cut short hair it was messy and Curley that reached her shoulders, new looking glasses with her shining brown eyes and deep dark under bags. She wore a white collared shirt, a black trench coat and dark blue scarf and some blue jeans with some black converse. She looked pristine and new. But what got them most was her pale skin and the marks of her cheeks. They were moles that made a line on one side and a triangle on the other.
Everyone recognized her as the girl who was in a coma. She smiled brightly as she saw Harry.
"Heya you lighting bolt." She said teasingly in a quiet voice.
Harry stood there shocked and the hurled walked up to him and hugged him.
"Long time no see. So what up with you lately?" She asked. Harry still couldn't speak he was in shock. "Not talkative still like that whelp I guess you don't want to talk to you best friend. I'll just go." She said.
She walked away slowly but bore Harry gripped her wrist. He brought her into a hug and he cried silently.
"Wow did I miss something?" She asked.
"So much. So much Mad Hatter." He said.
"Hey you remembered!" She said. They let go of a hug and she pulled a tissue of her pocket. "Hey embers you nickname besides lighting bolt?"
"Oh no. No please don't sa-"
"Alice. Ha-ha just kidding it was Cheshire kitty." She laughed. "So what happened everyone seems so sad."
She looked down and saw the scars on his arms. Her happy-go-lucky mood changed. She had a shadow on her face and she looked pissed. Harry Hilo's at her harsh glare.
"You been cutting? Even when I'm in a coma and I always wished you not to?" She looked Harry in the eyes in pulled out a donut. "Eat you look staving. Also this summer you are leaving with me. I do not take no as a answer. I asked Eli to watch you and he told me everything."
"What you know parseltongue too?" He asked
"Yes I'm a descant of Salazar Slytherin and don't worry I fucking hate Voldemort. That little shit killing innocents. Now he told me about the abuse. You are living with me the Dursleys agreed." She said.
"You threaten them by setting the house on fire didn't you?" Harry asked.
"Not important. But you now going to live with me. Also you aunt is working on getting you godfather innocent and free since we had an inside source it was Peter Pettigrew who lead Voldemort to kill your parents. Now let go we have lots to talk about." She says.
"You know Brianna even with our you being an heir of Slytherin you act like one. And you curse a lot." Harry says.
"I have my shit together now I'm getting yours together. Also I'm being summer schooled to catch up to next year's level." Brianna says.
They both walk out of the classroom to talk and discuss the future and how his life would change. Everyone was happy for Harry and how Brianna would make his life better. Then they turned back to Dumbledore. They all had a bone to pick with him. Then later The Dursleys