So Much For A Happily Ever After
firaga's heart
(12.16.06)
S P O I L E R-W A R N I N G
there are some spoilers to the finale.
you have been warned.
b e w a r e . .
AUTHORESS NOTE
pointless drabbling. isn't it
always just funn? well, i am
now in denial of the fact that
it's all over, & jordy's gone.
i miss that loveable nut.
so basically, these are just
thoughts i hope eva had. it
appears to be implied anyway,
just felt like using fanfiction
to make it known. (;
don'cha just love pointless
joreva drabbles?
&- - - - - - - - - - - - - -x3
& once upon a time .. she lived happily ever after.
Not in this case.
Sure, it's great being Eva again. It's wicked awesome having a better school. Even the keychain on my backpack is more kick-butt than anything before Oban. But I miss the race. I miss Aikka. I miss Stan, and Koji. Heck, I even miss Satis. But there's one person I miss more than anything.
Jordan.
He was the gunner boy I saw every day. He was the 17 year old with ADHD that shared my room. He was the military cadet with two-toned hair that made me question my own sanity, let alone his. He was the rambunctious, optimistic moron who was, well, a coward.
But he was also the friend. The one that was there, when I needed a good laugh. He was jealous as hell when I went through my "Aikka fangirl" phase. But that jealousy is what made me feel special.
He was just there, and he was just Jordan. Nothing more, nothing less. He was a hopeless romantic with a heart of gold. He was a coward who wanted to do something big. He was like a big teddy bear. You just wanted to hug him.
He's now the Avatar-optimistic-gunner boy that I know. But .. he's my Avatar-optimistic-gunner boy. Mine, and no one else's.
I know, I know. Maybe I should be thankful for what I have. But it's really hard when the one thing I don't have is the one thing I want.
I miss him. I miss him more than Dad knows. I think I almost miss him more than I miss my mother. And that's actually kind of sad.
Every time he said something about liking me, I heard every one of those. I remember when he first tried, the day of our encounter with Ning and Skun. He confused me so much that day. I just had to pretend to not hear him. That was all I felt I could do.
Then when he tried again, with the eskimo incident. I'm so sure we would laugh over that now.. if he were here, that is. I didn't like him then. I didn't think I ever would at that point. I realize how he would have taken that. But I also realize what an optimist the guy is. I basically rejected him, and he still tried.
"These stars are amazingly beautiful, but they don't hold a candle to you."
That was what made me like him. That line right there. He made me cry when he said that. Jordan said something so profoundly beautiful. I went in after that, tears in my eyes. He was a lovable idiot with a case of hopeless romanticism, and he knew how to make a girl feel beautiful. I still love him for that, to this very second.
Dad told me later about the flower incident. He then gave me a rather important, ahem, talk about dating, and other things. Then he gave me a glare and told me that I'm not allowed to date until the next Oban race. 10,000 years should pass by rather quickly.. sarcastically speaking, that is.
I don't see why he plays my mind so much though. If it was destiny for us, then I think he'd be here right now. And he's not. And he never will be.
The thought of that makes me want to cry. The thought of a life without Jordan. I wish I could be an optimist like him, but I can't. There's no hope whatsoever.
So much for a happily ever after. More like a happily Never after.
&- - - - - - - - - - - - - -x3
& that's it. pointless drabble.
cyute. xD
destruction's blessing fans :
i AM working on it. promise!
just having massive writers
block, but it's close to
completion of the 1st half of
the 3rd chapter. woo..?
read firaga-chan