New Year 2010 is what got me thinking. What would the Cullens' new year resolution be? And poof here is this story. Please comment. Bella's point of view. Italics are her thoughts.
What is my resolution going to be this year? Last year it was spend time with Jacob. But now that he comes over so much...that's not needed anymore."Hmmmm," I said out loud.
"Dear, what are you thinking about?" Edward asked.
"I was thinking about my new year's resolution." I said. Hmmm...should it be spend more time with family. I looked up to find Edward staring at me confused. "You don't know what a resolution is?" I asked him surprised. I thought he knew everything.
"Darling, remember we aren't used to human traditions as you are." Edward sheepishly.
Well that's going to change this year. We are all going to do new year resolutions. Alice was down in a flash towing Jasper behind. "You mean it, Bella?" Alice asked excited.
"Yes, we all are. ROSALIE, EMMETT, ESME, CARLISLE, NESSIE, JACOB, SETH!!!" I yelled, even though they could here me fine if I whispered.
As soon as they were all assembled in the living room I said, "We are all going to do new year's resolutions. If you don't know what those are, it's like a promise to do something better in the new year."
I stared into the crowd, waiting for someone to speak. It was Emmett, oh no. "Can we make this interesting? I have an idea," everyone groaned. He looked around and narrowed his eyes, "I have an idea. We can write them on a poster board and hang them up. We get," he started counting. What was he doing?"11 jars with all out names on it. Every time we break our resolution, we have to put a quarter in our jar. Who ever has the most amount of money loses and who ever has the least amount wins. Plus they get the loser's money."
Hey, that's actually a good idea. I smiled, "I second that motion."
We sent Alice out with Jasper to buy 11 jars and a large piece of poster board. They came back 5 minutes later. Thank you for vampire speed.
"Okay, everyone. Any volunteers to go first?" I asked hoping I wouldn't have to volunteer. No one did so I said, "Okay, I volunteer."
I wrote,
Bella-Will not listen to Emmett--I mean anyone--that tries to convince me that Jacob is a undercover spy working for the Russians. I remembered the other day.
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"Hey Bella!" I heard Emmett go down the stairs.
Oh no what does he want? "Hey Emmett. What's up." I said casually. Edward, Alice, and Jasper were hunting; Renesmee was sleeping on the couch with Jacob; Rosalie was who knows; Carlisle was at work; and Esme was out gardening. No witnesses. Great.
"Soooo, did you know that Jacob is a spy for the Soviet Union?' Emmett asked very serious.
I laughed, "Emmett it's not the Soviet Union anymore. It's called Russia." I talked to Emmett like he was 7. Which he acts like a lot.
"Okay then, he's a spy from Russia. Follow me, I'll show you." He tiptoed off motioning me to follow. He went up to where Jacob was sleeping and bent down. What is he doing? He pulled a walkietalkie outof Jacob pocket. "See evidence." he whispered. Emmett turned it on and you could hear people with Russian accents talking about destroying the United States.
I gasped. Emmett was right! But what to do with the spy? "Emmett what do we do with the spy?" I asked.
He grinned, an evil grin. "Come on, lets hang him by his feet in the air," he said evilly.
"Brilliant, I'll get some rope. You watch the spy." I said as I ran at vampirac speed to get some long, sturdy rope. When I came back and game Emmett the rope to tie around his feet.
"Come on," he hissed. "Let's go outside and tie the end of this rope to a tree." I nodded and picked up one side of Jacob, I mean the spy. Emmett took the other side and we went outside. We found a tall tree and set the spy beneath it.
"You climb, I watch." I said as I watch Emmett climb that tree. Suddenly Jacob was in the air spinning. I heard Emmett laugh as he jumped down. That happened to cause a mini earthquake.
"What the-" Jacob yelled as he dangled. "Bella, Emmett what am I doing up here?"
"You spy are being hung there until we hand you over to the government, or chop of your head." I said with a smile on my face. "Which ever comes first."
"Spy? Government? What did I do?" Jacob asked as he nearly missed being swung into a tree.
Emmett answered before me, "You are a Russian spy plotting the downfall of this here country. We as citizens will not stand it, will we Bella?" I nodded.
Just then Edward, Alice, and Jasper came out of the woods. They looked at Jacob a milli-second but then Edward asked, "Bella I know we don't like Jacob imprinting on our daughter but this is too much."
"That spy hanging up there was plotting with the Russians about this country's downfall. Right Emmett?" I looked beside me and no one was there. "EMMETT!" I yelled. Crap.
Emmett appeared but by Rosalie holding his ear, dragging him. "Edward she's not crazy. I watched Emmett convince her that the mutt was a spy. Now Emmett get Jacob down." Rosalie pushed him with force.
Jasper whispered, "Whipped." Emmett looked at him and growled.
But a few seconds later Jacob was falling to the Earth. He landed in a thud. I think I heard him mutter ouch.
"Bella," Jacob said getting up, "why did you think I was a spy for the Soviet Union?"
"I didn't think you were a spy for the Soviet Union," I said softly. "I thought you were a spy for Russia."
"Same difference, Bella." He said sarcastically.
"I'm sorry but Emmett with the walkie talkie and the-" I started to apologize but was grabbed into Jacob's big wolf hug.
"If I had to breath, I couldn't. You're squishing me," I mumbled into his shirt.
"Why is Jacob squishing Mommy?" Renesmee asked as she walked outside.
Emmett starting laughing as soon as he read my resolution. He was going to say something, probably smart alec but Edward cut him off. "I'll go next," he smiled at me. I love that man.
Edward- Will try hard not to kill the mutt—I mean Jacob. I will also not kill Emmett and Jasper when they play pranks. Those resolutions were self explanitory. But yet I remembered the other day.
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I was in the room with Edward, Renesmee, and Jacob. We were playing Life (don't ask why, we were bored). As soon as Jacob got married, Emmett walked into the room. "Hmmmm..." Emmett said as he walked by. Renesmee soon got married too. Again Emmett went "Hmmmm..."
Jacob gets irritated easily so he asked, "Emmett why are you hmming? We are in the middle of something."
Emmett acting all cool replied, "I was just wondering who are you going to get married to?"
We all stared at Emmett, knowing that he knew that Jacob imprinted. But for some reason Jacob blurted out, "Edward! I want to marry Edward." We look at him but he goes on, "I love Edward cause his hair is sexy. Way better than a girl's hair. I'm sorry but you're not pretty enough for me Nessie." I look at Renesmee and I see her about to cry so I go over to her. That leaves Edward and Jacob.
Jacob starts acting like a tiger. "Rawr, Edward, rawr." Edward gets up and moves away but Jacob pounces. I hear laughter from above. I look up and see Emmett and Jasper looking down, laughing.
I put the pieces together and I yell, "JASPER!!! EMMETT!!!" That breaks Jasper's concentration and Jacob stops pouncing. He looks at Renesmee and looks like he's gunna cry himself.
"Nessie I'm sorry-" He started moving near Nessie but Edward jumped on him, looking really mad.
"You break my daughter's heart. I. Will. Kill. You." He looks very serious too.
"Eddie, dear, it wasn't Jacob's fault. Yogi Bear and Emotion Boy strike again." I heard complains upstairs of their names.
"Sorry mutt. Excuse me but I have to kill a bear and a boy." He stalked out of the room.
"Okay, can I go now Mommy?" Renesmee asked pulling me out of my thoughts. I nodded and she took the pen from Edward. She has nice handwriting.
Renesmee- Spend less time with Uncle Emmett without witnesses. Be less like Uncle Emmett. Everyone read that and laughed. Emmett scowled.
"I am not a bad influence on Ness, am I Nessie?" Emmett looked at Renesmee but she shook her head yes.
"Uncle Emmett remember the other day when you took me to Area 51?" HE DID WHAT?!?!?!
"Nessie, you weren't supposed to-" Emmett started but thee next thing you see was Emmett flying out a window. Edward being the culprit.
I sighed, "Edward, you broke your resolution. Already."
"No I didn't. It says kill, I didn't kill him."
I changed that to try to hurt. Emmett came back in and said, "I took her to Area 51 once. Okay? We wanted to see if there were any aliens."
Before anyone else could argue Alice said, "I'll go next."
Alice- Will try not to max out Carlisle's or anyone else's credit card.
"I think you should include forcing people to shop with you," I said being brave.
She scowled but then wrote: And must not force people to shop with me.
I was pushing my luck but said it anyways,"And shopping for other people. Especially when they don't want it." Everyone stared admiring my courage.
Alice growled, a menising growl but put: Plus shopping for others. Especially when they don't want it. (Unless they want it).
Of course I knew who would go next and I was right. Jasper raised his hand and I nodded him to go.
Jasper- Will try not to mess up with other people's emotions.
Emmett had to interven, "You should be less moody too." Jasper sighed but wrote it.
And be less moody.
Rosalie wanted to go next. I couldn'twait to see what she put. Everyone was feeling the entenceness. "Jasper, messing with emotions."
"Sorry." He put a quarter in his jar. What a team player. Rosalie stood back and I read what she put.
Rosalie- Will try not to be vain and bitchy. And will not stare at self in mirror for more than 1 hour.
"What a good Blondie," Jacob said.
She frowned and put another thing: Will try not to kill the mutt even when calls me Blondie and/or makes blond jokes.
Jacob frowned and Rosalie smirked, knowing that she got to him. Seth didn't want a fight to break out so he volunteered.
Seth-Must break up fights between Jacob and Rosalie. Must be nice to Leah.
"Ya, right." Jacob laugh.
Seth retorted, "I'd like to see you try."
Okay, Jacob is very competive so he put down.
Jacob- Must not help Emmett--I mean anyone--with mean pranks. Must be nice to Blondie--Rose--without calling her Blondie or make any blond jokes.
Seth laughed, "That's the best you can do?"
Jacob put down one last thing: Must not call any vampires: leeches, bloodsuckers, parisite, or any mean things.
Seth stopped laughing. I could feel the tention in the room.
"If you don't mind, I would like to go." I turned and nodded to Esme.
Esme- Will try not freak out when Emmett—I mean anyone—breaks something.
Emmett whined, "Why is everyone picking on me? Why don't you pick on Edward, Esme? It's because he's perfect."
Esme looked sad but then put: And must not play favorites.
"Now I think I will go," Carlisle said.
Carlisle- Will try not kill any of my children no matter how much they mess up.
Emmett would not give up, "What about the times you are about the hospital. Avoiding us." He had the puppy dog face on.
And must not spend time at the hospital avoiding my children.
Alice said, "It's Charlie." Then the phone rang. I ran to find it.
"Hello?"
"Bella! How are you? I'm doing my new year's resolution. How does not shooting Edward sound?" Charlie said.
I laughed and said, "It's perfect."
"Well I have to go. Sue's making breakfast. Love you."
"Love you too, Dad." I hung up. I walked over to the chart and wrote down Charlie's resolution.
Charlie- Will try not to shoot Edward.
We all laughed while Edward hid in my hair. We all went, except one.
Okay can you figure out who it is? If you do review. I might give you a cookie if you do :)