A/N: It's been a while since I've posted a oneshot, so hopefully it's still good. Hope you all enjoy.

A Silly Howler

Lily hummed under her breath, looking out to the stars. The owls whirred with her, flapping their wings occasionally as they slept. She smiled. It was all so peaceful. None of the screaming and scolding she'd had all day. Jut silence, and the sound of the wind on the trees.

She leant on the pane of the window, and let go of a breath she didn't know she'd held. She placed her hand on her cheek, and wondered if it really did matter if mars was looking very bright tonight.

'Fuck!' she heard from the staircase. The owls around her flapped unkindly as they woke. She frowned. She knew how they felt; this person had disrupted her silence. A bang echoed through the owlery.

'Shit!' the person said, stumbling into the room, grabbing their eye. James Potter wobbled around, half blind, trying to work out where his owl was. Wearing his pyjamas… If you could call them that.

He was wearing boxers, complete with snitches flying all over them, not to mention that they were red and gold. Lily took a deep breath in as he muttered under his breath, searching. Sure, she had known that James was fit; you could tell when he was flying around the quidditch pitch. But she hadn't known that he had finely grooved abs, or amazingly toned back muscles. She also hadn't known that he was that tanned. Seriously she thought he was as white as all the other boys, maybe he was half Spanish…

'Where the hell are you Earl?' James suddenly shouted.

A tawny barn owl flapped over, looking flustered. He bit James on the back of the hand.

'Ow!' he exclaimed. 'Well, what do you expect? I'm already half blind since I forgot to put on my glasses, but now I'm three-quarters blind because I bumped into the door.'

Lily stifled a laugh as James scolded his bird.

'I need you to get this to mum. Really quickly. I forgot her birthday, so make sure you act loving,' James said hurriedly as h tied the parchment onto the owls foot. He led the bird to the window and let him fly. James sighed.

Lily studied him thoughtfully. Was he really as good as he said he was? This question had been flying round her head for a couple of weeks now, and she really was curious. As a plan formed in her mind, she briefly smiled.

She glanced down at what she was wearing, a white night dress that her friends had given her at Christmas. Yes, yes, it would work. She took out her hair, and pouted her lips. She stood in the light of the moon so that there was no way he could miss her.

'James,' she whispered. He jumped up and looked wildly about. His eyes found hers.

'Oh, hey Lily. How long have you been there?'

She lightly deflated, not quite the response she was after.

'Long enough,' she said gliding forward. You know, this was quite easy. A scared flick of fear snapped over his face.

'Lily?' he asked. She took another step towards him, so close to him now, that she could feel his breath on her cheek.

'Yes?' she said innocently. She placed a hand on his chest, inwardly laughing as he immediately tensed.

'What are you doing?' he asked, his voice rough as he pushed her hand away. She pretended to look upset.

'I thought it would have been rather obvious,' she said, clutching her hand to her chest.

'Sorry Lily,' he said, his voice still hard, 'you're going to have to join the dots for me.'

She sighed, and dropped her hand half-heartedly. She looked him straight in the eye, which he met with equal force. Quickly but surely she planted a small kiss on his lips. She drew back carefully, avoiding his intense stare.

'That's,' she started, but was cut off as he captured her lips with his. She sighed as he cupped his hand on her cheek, his other already tangled in her hair. She drew closer to him, moaning slightly as he deepened the kiss. Before she knew it, her back was against the wall, and James was kissing her so intently she thought she might melt. He really was as good as he said he was. The kisses slowed down, until eventually, James pulled away.

Lily frowned at him. Then she kissed him again. He laughed against her lips, but again drew away.

'Come on,' he said, taking her hand and leading her down the steps.

Lily listened to the silence as they walked back to the common room, thinking about what she would now do. It would've been a good plan, fault proof really, if James hadn't been good. But he had.

Now she was stuck.

James muttered the password and the fat lady let them through, after a stern look.

'Night Lily,' James said and started to walk up the boys' staircase.

What! Lily thought desperately. Not even a good night kiss? What the hell was wrong with this world? This called for payback, Lily scowled as she walked to her dorm. He would be punished.

The next morning Lily sat down for breakfast, smiling to herself as she buttered her toast.

'Are you sure it wasn't a dream Prongs?' Sirius asked as they sat down beside her and her friends.

'It does seem unlikely,' Remus added. James sighed and looked pointedly at his friends.

'Do you think I'd make something like that up?' he snapped.

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look that sent James crazy. He got up suddenly, and then plunked down right next to Lily.

'Are you right there Potter?' she asked. He kissed her on the cheek. She looked disgusted.

'Do you plan to be hexed into obliviation?' Lily asked.

James looked baffled.

'No, why?'

'Because if you so much as touch me, I will hex you into obliviation.'

'What?' James asked as Sirius laughed.

'Because if you so much as touch me, l will hex you into obliviation,' she repeated.

'Okay, I got that part. But what about last night?' he whispered.

'What about last night?' she asked shrilly. She was getting quite worked up, this was really quite fun.

'When we,' he looked at her, 'you know.'

'I'm sorry Potter, you're going to have to join the dots for me,' she said. James went white.

He lent over to her ear and whispered.

'When we made out for about half an hour last night.'

Lily jerked her head away from his, and slapped him hard across the cheek.

'How dare you suggest such a thing!'

By this stage, Sirius and Remus were almost wetting themselves.

'But I went to post an owl to mum, and you were there!' he said.

Lily looked at him like he was crazy.

'You were dreaming Potter. I was on patrol last night. When I came in I asked the Fat Lady if anyone had gone out, no one had,' she said patting his back.

'What?' he said, his head whipping up.

'I think you might need a trip to the hospital wing, it seems you are seeing things. I hear that Miss Monty has a lovely batch of frog spawn waiting…'

James turned green.

'You mean I never sent a letter to mum?' he asked.

'No, I don't think you did Prongs!' Sirius yells as a howler landed on James' table.

James turned three different shades of green his eyes goggling at the steaming letter. Then it burst open.

'HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL JAMES, WHEN YOU'RE BIRD WAKES ME AT THREE IN THE BLOODY MORNING? LIKE MY ONLY SON DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME! DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT JAMES, I CAN TELL WHEN YOU'RE LYING. YOU FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY! I ONLY ASK YOU TO DO ONE THING, I DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT GRADES YOU GET. BUT REMEMBERING MY BIRTHDAY IS TOO HARD FOR YOU ISN'T IT? YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU GO TO BED THAT YOU NEED TO RUSH OFF TO THE OWLERY TO POST YOU'RE MOTHER A LETTER! EVEN SIRIUS REMEMBERED! SUCH A SON YOU ARE!'

The letter burst into flame, leaving James staring quietly at it, his face blank.

'Lily,' he said warningly. But she had already left the table and was running as quickly as she could.

'Get back here!' he yelled, but only got a squeal and laughter. So he started sprinting after her.

'Who would've thought it,' Sirius said staring at the pair, running all over the Great Hall. 'They got together over a silly howler.'