Tommy's POV

"Oliver Queen is alive." Those words rang through my head like a symphony. It took a few hours for it to sink in. It couldn't be possible. He'd been gone for five years leaving a gaping whole in my chest. But it was true, and I couldn't be happier. I just wondered how much he'd changed. Being stranded on an island for five years had to take its toll.

Once it set in that Ollie was back, there was only one thing running through my mind. I had to see him, I wanted to march right down to the hospital and be with him, but I couldn't. He'd be with him family and getting settled. So I waited.

The entire night I sat on my bed desperately wanting to call the Queen family, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. His family had been through hell. So had I.

Everyone knew that Ollie was my best friend he had been since we were kids. What people didn't know was in the last few years before he was shipwrecked we were more than just that.

We never put a label on anything, not that either of us ever had "relationships" to begin with. Our "thing" wasn't exactly exclusive either. We couldn't risk either of our parents finding out that the heirs to their fortunes were anything less than what the world deemed acceptable, at least that was the reason Oliver gave me.

Luckily, keeping "us" a secret was never too difficult. We were always friends so it wasn't suspicious for us to be in the same places. We would frequent the same clubs and hotels to take "dates" to, and obviously neither of us would spend the night with our perspective date. We would sneak out and into our own private suite, and we would always spend the night together, making sure to leave at different times the next morning to avoid any skepticism.

Eventually we grew bolder. Whenever we were at each other's estates, we would sneak off to any random room in the enormous mansions to fool around in. For a while, things were wonderful, and we were happy, but then Ollie got worried.

One day we were at his place, in one of the many rooms there, and we started to get into things. We weren't too far along, just some light kissing and such, when Thea walked in. Oliver freaked out to say the least. In all the time I'd known him, I had never seen him so scared. He grabbed Thea and went into the hall for a while, as I just sat there awkwardly waiting. Eventually Ollie got Thea to keep our secret, but he was different after that. He insisted our affair take place exclusively in the hotels from then on. I didn't mind, I thought it would fix things, that he'd be less paranoid. He wasn't. Oliver needed reassurance and he decided that dating Laurel Lance was a good idea.

Oliver insisted that Laurel was just a cover, just a small precaution so we wouldn't get caught. I had to admit for the most part things got back to normal after that. We were happy again. There was only one problem, me.

Seeing Ollie, my Ollie with her, and publicly at that, killed me. All I ever wanted was him. I was patient, and loyal and then there was Laurel. Laurel put him on a pedestal, and built up his ego. Normally, if she were just some one-night-stand, this wouldn't bother me, but I knew Ollie. He loved every second that she spent swooning over him. I wanted to hate her, but it wasn't her fault, and I couldn't risk losing him. I let it go.

Then one day we were in one of the suites at some hotel that we used. After a lazy morning spent making love and sipping wine, he decided to announce that he was trying to get his dad to take The Queen's Gambit out, and that he was planning to bring Sarah Lance, Laurel's sister, along. I was suddenly feeling vey conflicted.

Part of me was jealous that he hadn't wanted to take me with him. It wouldn't be too weird of him to invite me on the yacht. We were best friends and it wouldn't have been the first we spent "bro bonding time" on it. On the flip side, I was also relieved.

In a sick way I was glad that Ollie was willing to betray Laurel like that. He would never have even thought to hurt me in such a cruel way. It proved that he loved me more, and it made my heart swell in adoration. Still I'd rather have had him there with me.

"Yachts suck," I said as nonchalantly as possible, "We should just hit up some clubs, or spend the entire weekend in bed."

Ollie smirked, as he began pressing light kisses to the top of my head, "As appealing as that sounds, I've been begging my dad to take The Queen's Gambit out. Besides, it will disprove any suspicion and keep us covered. Plus," he whispered softly in my ear, "imagine how great our 'Welcome home sex' will be."

I blushed as he leaned in and kissed me, before I muttered back, "It'll probably be even better than our 'going away' sex." He chuckled as he picked me up and I gave him a proper going away gift. After we were finished he had to leave and pack for his voyage. As he was about to leave I whispered a soft, "I love you." It was the only time I ever said it and I wasn't even sure if he heard it. That was the last time I saw him before the accident.

After he went missing my life took a downward spiral. I was no longer partying, but just drinking, and no one was too concerned. We were just friends after all, lifelong friends sure, but in time I'd get over it. That's what everyone told me. Ironically I found comfort in the person I least expected, Laurel.

Laurel and I were both grieving and we both cared about Ollie, she just didn't realize that it was in the same way. In a way, we used each other to hold on to Oliver, and give each other the companionship that we'd both been missing. The worst part was, I started to care for her, not romantically, but all the anger and jealousy that I had felt for her faded away, and I finally saw what Ollie had seen in her. She had this amazing gift of seeing the best in people, and Laurel cared. She genuinely cared about people and wanted to make a difference, and she loved Ollie. Seeing this side of her made me hate myself.

How could I have been happy that Oliver cheated on her with her sister? Laurel didn't deserve that. As I sat in my room, I wondered how she was coping with Oliver's return, she did after all, still lose her sister.

I glanced at my clock it was nine in the morning so I called the Queen household. I got their maid, Raisa. I could barely form words, it had been so long since I had spoken to anyone there. "Hi, it's Tommy Merlyn. Tell the Queens I would love to join them for dinner."

I spent the rest of the morning getting ready. I think that I tried on hundreds of outfits and spent a ridiculously long time doing my hair.

I drove over to Ollie's. I must have ran nearly every red light, and drove so fast that if a police office had happened to be around, my license probably would have been suspended. I just couldn't get over there fast enough.

I opened the door and there he was. His back was to me, and he froze hearing the door open. There was so much that I wanted to say but all I could manage in that moment was, "What did I tell you? Yachts suck!"

Oliver turned around, and it was almost too much for me to handle. Seeing his face again for the first time in five years, I was breathless. He pulled me in for a hug, and words couldn't describe how incredible it felt to be back in his arms again. I wanted to take him right there on his mother's decorative table, but I stopped myself. Whatever I may have been thinking or feeling, this was about Ollie, he'd been through hell on that island. If anything were going to happen between us, it would have had to be on his terms.

We went into his bedroom, and we just talked. We mainly spoke about what had changed in Starling City in his absence. I had to admit I was definitely curious about what had happened to him on the island, but I wouldn't dare ask. I wanted him to feel comfortable around me.

We mainly just talked about celebrities and sports, even during dinner we kept talking about theses and other meaningless things that happened in the past five years. I certainly had no shortage of things to tell him, he had been gone from civilization for what felt like forever.

Dinner started out lovely. First I tried to made some light jokes about everything he had missed while on the island. Then in a stroke of bravery, Thea asked the one question everyone else wanted to know the answer to, but didn't have the balls to ask for themselves, "What was it like?"

Oliver hesitated for a moment before answering, "Cold." My heart panged, as I pictured him on that island. My poor Ollie, all lonely and cold just wanting to come home for all those years, it killed me. I wanted to shower him with kisses and tell him everything was all right and I wouldn't let anything happen to him again, but I couldn't. He would never forgive me if I had done that with his mother right there.

Instead, I hastily changed the subject, "Tomorrow, you and me. We're doing the city, you've got a lot to catch up on." Everyone relaxed grateful to get on a lighter topic, except Ollie. I could tell he was shaken up from thinking about the island. Even though he tried to act as though he wanted to go to see his family's company, I knew he was anxious. He had the same look on that he used to wear when he thought someone was on to us.

Suddenly, Raisa tripped and Ollie caught her bowl of fruit and said something to her in Russian. "Dude, you speak Russian?" I asked, god that was hot! Ollie never ceased to amaze me. Then Walter commented on it too, and he unknowingly gave Ollie the out that he was looking for.

Oliver was smarter than everyone gave him credit for. He had spent years keeping a secret relationship, he could easily spot on a mile away. He exposed his mother's relationship with Walter, that he soon found out was a marriage, and he just left, but not before giving me a slight pat on the shoulder as a way of letting me know that he hadn't forgotten about me, and then winked at Thea. It was his way of reminding her that whatever he and I had going on, was to be kept private.

I went home after that and I finally got some sleep. I just dreamt about my day with Ollie, and what the next day would have in store for us.

The next morning I was the happiest I had been in five years. Ollie was back and we were going to explore the city together. When I arrived at his estate, Raisa informed me that Ollie was with Thea in her room, catching up.

I raced over to Thea's room to see Oliver giving her something that he must have found on the island. "A rock," I said in fake adoration, "that is sweet! I want one of those t-shirts that say 'My friend was a castaway and all I got was this crappy shirt."

Thea rolled her eyes playfully as she smirked. She turned to her brother, "Don't let him get you into too much trouble, you just got back. Take it slow."

I smiled as I looked back at Thea, it was good for Ollie that she knew about "us", they were always close siblings.

Once we got in the car, Ollie insisted on going to the glades. We talked about his funeral and the welcome home party that I was throwing for him. Then I asked the question I needed to know the answer to with every fiber in my being, "What did you miss the most?"

I expected him to say, his mother or his sister, his bed even. Deep down, I was desperately wishing that he would say me. He said the one thing that I wasn't prepared for, and I was amazed I survived hearing it. "Laurel."

I felt like a dagger had just been plunged through my heart. After everything, could he really love her more than me?

My smile fell as I managed to keep it together, "Everyone is happy you're alive. You want to see the one person who isn't?" He just shrugged like a confused and guilty little boy, so naturally I took him to see Laurel.

I let them have their space, watching from a distance. Laurel was unhappy to say the least, and I felt some residual jealousy that I used to harbor for her resurfacing. She was the thing that he missed the most, and she couldn't care less. I would give anything to be in her shoes, and she wanted no part of it. Eventually she stormed off and Ollie just looked angry with himself.

We were walking back to my car, when all of a sudden someone shot a tranquilizer dart into my neck, everything was kind of blurry after that. The next thing I remember was Ollie waking me up and saying some guy in a green hoodie saved us from an abduction. As he told me all this, I couldn't help but think that we has hiding something from me. He looked like he used to, when he would lie to his parents about what we spent the day doing. Oliver was keeping something from me, but I wasn't too bothered by it. We had just been kidnapped maybe he just didn't want to go into too much detail.

Ollie's party was coming up and I knew that he would want Laurel there. If I'm being completely honest, I wanted her there too. Like I said, I cared about her, and having her there would make it better. I called her trying to convince her to come. By the end of it she did say that she would consider going, so it was a start.

When the party finally came around I had high hopes that Ollie and I would start, whatever it was we did, up again. I booked us a suite and couldn't wait to see how the evening progressed, that is until I realized that his bodyguard would be one massive cockblock. Ollie wouldn't dare risk us getting caught together and this bodyguard wouldn't let him out of his sight.

I walked over to Oliver handing him a drink, "By my rough estimate you have not had sex in 1839 days." He looked at me with that worried look that he wore when he was afraid someone might overhear us and get the wrong idea. I started suggesting girls, even though we both knew they would just be cover stories for our whereabouts tonight.

Oliver just seemed uninterested as he left my side to go talk to Thea about something. I decided to deduce a good way to get him alone, until Laurel showed up.

Part of me was thrilled to see that Laurel decided to show up. I knew Ollie would be glad to see her there, however I was filled with that feeling of dread that he would fall back into her arms instead of mine. Unfortunately I saw Ollie and Laurel walk upstairs together, definitely not disproving me fears. So I just took another drink and waited for him to come back.

After a little while Detective Lance and the SCPD showed up looking for the guy in the green hoodie that saved Oliver and me. Apparently he robbed some guy named Adam Hunt next door and the police thought the hood guy may have tried to hide in here.

Oliver handled the police by boldly offering a two million dollar reward for anyone who found the guy in the hood. The way he handled it reminded me of why I fell in love with him the first place. He was so confident, like no one and nothing could touch him. Still, even as he handled the police, I knew he was hiding something.

I simply commented on it, "Some coincidence, you asking to have your party here. Hunt getting robbed right next door, and by the same guy who rescued us at the warehouse."

Ollie didn't like that too much, "If I were you, Tommy, I'd just be happy you're alive."

I finally asked the first question I had once I found out he was back, "What happened to you on that island?"

"A lot," he answered coldly before leaving the party. Naturally I cancelled our suite.

The next day I went to see Laurel. I'm not completely sure why I went there, but I was glad to see her nonetheless. I was able to find out what happened between her and Oliver at the party. According to her nothing happened, and she was usually honest so I believed her. Then I asked about us. I missed the company we shared while we were grieving Ollie, and I had an awful feeling that Oliver just didn't want me anymore, but maybe Laurel did. I loved her, not in the way I loved Ollie, but I could be happy with Laurel. She didn't want anything to do with that though, and I felt even more unwanted than before.