i won't forget about us.
reyna & jason
author's note: an apology gift for not updating walls fall down. i'm working on that one… i promise
(well, technically this is not an apology gift if you don't like reyna-jason-piper love triangles, but you know i've kinda developed a thing for it)
… being a high school senior is so stressful.
title is from don't forget by demi lovato.
disclaimer: not mine.
Reyna doesn't like to be last. More importantly, she doesn't like to lose. She's the daughter of Bellona, and the blood of Romans run through her veins so she can't lose. And when she does it feels like a gut wrenching experience [like a punishment from her mother]. So, as a result, Reyna tries her best to avoid failing.
Sometimes, the drive proves to be a blessing. Without that burning resentment to get away from those pirates who were set free from that island by that boy, she would have been as good as dead. But she relies on the Bellona blood flowing through her veins, and it gives her strength to run.
Lupa isn't a very kind wolf, but Reyna's use to it because no one's ever given her much kindness in the past. The only exception was her sister, but Hylla can't save Reyna from her own fears and the tests of bravery that make her heart pound and the sweat drip down her shaking palms.
Lupa just snarls at this daughter of Bellona, who wipes the blood from the corner of her lip and blinks her dry eyes that have cried too many tears.
Crying isn't very Roman, anyways.
Camp Jupiter isn't a nice place, so it's the perfect place for Reyna. Her unfixing eyes are a match made in heaven for this camp, and people part for her like the Red Sea when she strolls along. It doesn't matter if she becomes praetor or not. She's making a name for herself all the same.
Reyna just likes to spend her time training, trying to live up to the expectations of Bellona, trying to be so many things that so many people wanted her to be in the past. But the past eats her up like a black hole, but she's sure that now she can fight her way past the darkness and the bitterness that eats her up. People aren't kind, they never will be, and Reyna needs to make sure she wins in this little game of cat and mouse. The strong survive, and she doesn't need to be kind to be strong.
But, the thing is, she does become praetor. It's an honor, like a gift from her mother and a symbol that Reyna can live up to her mother's expectations. Reyna knows by now that she doesn't need to be kind to be respected, because even though she was kind, it was more of a distant kind of caring. An observational kind of caring. Reyna can't be kind. She knows that from how she was raised and how her life was lived for her.
Jason Grace, however, is a completely different story. He's the complete opposite of her. His kindness shines above all else, but he's strong all the same. The blood of Jupiter runs through his veins. He's a natural born leader, and even though there is darkness that eats away at his otherwise shy blue eyes, he's kind.
Reyna dislikes him immediately. Because she sees someone who can win with kindness and how much kindness has Reyna received in her life?
[none]
"Why do you hate me so much?" Jason inquires. They're supposed to be focusing on battle plans to take down Mount Othrys, but he seems much more interested on the topic of Reyna's apparent bitterness towards him [which is true but she can't make enemies with her own co-worker, and she's much more content just letting him do his own work so she can do the same].
But does Jason have to be so… blunt? The directness of his question causes Renya to drop her paperwork all over the floor.
"No!" Reyna protests a little too sharply, looking down to gather the strays so she can't see the amused twinkle that sparkles in his eyes.
"Then how come you haven't asked me where to file those papers? Would you rather stare at the cabinet for five hours or simply ask the other praetor sitting across from you where to file them?" Jason counters lightly.
It's weird. They hardly know each other, yet Reyna can't seem to keep anything from him.
"Well, you might not have known how to file these papers either," Reyna shoots back.
Jason raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "You could have still asked."
Reyna looks away, unable to make eye contact with the kind-hearted boy. Selfish girls like Reyna don't belong with selfless guys like Jason.
Eventually, she starts to observe him a little more closely, and makes it a habit to ask him questions when the silence starts to eat her at ways it never has before.
She starts to realize just how selfish she's become since the boy with the sea green eyes freed the pirates from the island. She sees the way the sadness eats up at Jason, who talks about a sister whose name he can't remember and the bravery he's had to display since he was young.
She asks how young, and he shows her the twelve lines on his arm.
The guilt comes in a little faster than she thought it would.
Reyna isn't sure when her heart starts to race at the sight of Jason, or when her hands start to feel sparks whenever her fingers accidentally brush Jason's but at first it's a little more annoying and distracting rather than exciting.
When he smiles at her, with the sunlight pouring in through the windows to highlight his blond hair, she starts to realize that she doesn't need to be strong to be kind. Kindness arises from the ability to look after others and see what will fit everyone's best interest.
But Reyna isn't exactly sure who taught her that: Jason or being a praetor.
Jason did, you idiot.
They're covered in scratches and cuts that'll take weeks to heal. But nothing can overcome the feeling of excitement and pride she feels in that moment. Mount Othrys has been taken down, with Jason's bravery and Reyna's determination.
While the campers in purple cheer and scream and hug in excitement, Jason gives Reyna a high five that burns into the palm of her hand but she doesn't complain.
"Well done praetor," he whispers to her, and she pretends not to feel the shiver that runs down her spine.
When Reyna catches Jason staring at her for what seems like the fiftieth time that night, she inquires a little too sharply about why he's staring at her like that. But he only laughs and looks away. She notices the way his cheekbones are dusted with the lightest shade of red, which actually looks really nice on him.
Jason yawns loudly, and Reyna can't help but giggle. "Go to sleep Jason."
Jason gives her a look. "But we're still working."
Reyna brushes away his concern with a wave of her hands. "I'll finish it up. You've done enough."
"Seriously?"
She makes a face at him. "Do I look serious?"
Jason stands up, a small smile playing at his lips. "You know, sleep sounds really appealing right now."
Reyna laughs. "Night Jason."
He looks a little longer than he should. "Night Reyna."
She doesn't know that that's the smile that'll be imprinted in her mind for months.
When Hazel bursts into the praetor office with a frightened look in her eyes, Reyna has a dreaded feeling she already knows what's happening.
"Jason's missing."
There's a gut wrenching feeling that follows because Reyna's always been punished for losing and this is no different [except it burns just a little more because losing kindness is like losing hope].
At first, Reyna isn't sure how to react. There's a numbing effect that takes over for a couple weeks, before she sees that there's another battle to attend to. Between Jason's disappearance, meeting Hazel's half brother Nico di Angelo, and being introduced to Frank Zhang, she learns to mask her sadness with bitterness. Without Jason, she forgets to be kind. She just needs to be strong, because that's the only thing that can get her through this war. The giants won't excuse her for being kind.
Running an entire camp by herself is hard. Eventually the bags under her eyes will make her eyes look so hollow she'll forget who she is and what exactly she stands for [even though she's already just a little forgotten because without Jason she's just Reyna, half of the praetor not Reyna, half of the pair who defeated the Titans on Mount Othrys]
When Percy Jackson storms into Camp Jupiter, all she feels is anger. Because she just needs to take one look in his sea green eyes and immediately know who he is. He's the reason for her miles and miles of pain and he's the reason she forgot what kindness was.
But he's kind to her, for some reason. His eyes are glazed over with memory-loss and his eyes desperately search hers as if he wants answers to questions that drive him mad at night. She doesn't know how to save him, but she feels bad.
He apologizes later for something he is even unsure about [about destroying Reyna's childhood] and she just wants to hold her head in the palm of her hands because fuck, he reminds her so much of Jason it's unsettling.
Sometimes, Reyna dreams about Jason, with the words hovering somewhere in the background that Jason doesn't remember her and suddenly belongs to someone else. It makes her want to scream, even though she doesn't know why. Jason was never really hers to begin with, so he wasn't technically cheating on him.
But that doesn't make it hurt any less. The pain is still there, dull and numbing pain in the pit of her stomach. She's jealous of a girl and a life that she can't even see.
When the Argo II lands in Camp Jupiter, there's another dull pain in her heart when she sees Jason with another girl under his arm. She's pretty, Reyna supposes, with long brown hair, a pretty white smile and an orange t-shirt. But it hurts so much more because that just means that everything happening is no longer a dream and Reyna is forced to deal with the reality of her situation.
Jason stops in front of her, and the memories come flowing back like a water breaking through a dam. The endless nights drafting battle plans and laughing under their stomachs hurt and tears break out in the corner of their eyes. Reyna wonders if Jason can feel the nostalgic pain in his chest the way Reyna can feel it in hers. [it's like a knife that cuts just a little too deep]
But Jason just smiles a little too wide in her direction and brings forth the pretty girl with the pretty white smile. Her eyes are different colors, but Reyna doesn't care too much about that. All she can do is stare at this new girl, the new girl who Jason seems to love more than he ever loved Reyna. The new girl who looks perfect just like Jason. Reyna wants to hate her, but can't bring it in her to raise the emotions.
Because all Jason ever did was teach her about the kindness that one should bring into life, and what kind of person would Reyna be if she treated Jason's new girlfriend with disrespect?
So Reyna pastes on the best smile she can muster without looking fake, and offers forward a hand. "I'm Reyna."
The girl smiles back, her oblivious eyes showcasing to Reyna just how much Jason told this girl about her [which is practically next to nothing] and takes Reyna's hand. "I'm Piper."
So they shake hands, and Reyna can do nothing but look into Piper's kaleidoscope eyes and wonder what exactly she did to lose Jason to this girl.
{so i felt like exploring this side of jason and reyna's relationship.}
review?