So this was dancing around in my head. and it's not happy, it's actually kind of not happy at all, but for now it's a one shot. i might turn it into more and develop the story but for now i just had to get this out. maybe this little one shot will help get me back on track with my two other stories.
discalimer: I own nothing!
She had no idea why she let Santana talk her into this. This was DEFINITELY not her scene. Quinn looked around and took in her surroundings, there were people of all ages here, they were all so different, but at the same time they were all so similar, they were all dressed skimpily, dressed in white or neon colors, and smiling. Quinn felt out of place, sure she was dressed like everyone else, she had on short white shorts, and possibly the tightest most revealing white tank top ever, but she FELT out of place. Everyone around her looked so free and relaxed she felt anything but! Santana had badgered her for weeks about coming to this ridiculous event in Cleveland, something about rave, something about paint, something about last party of the summer. She had said no each and every time but Santana just wouldn't let it go, she had even resorted to having Brittany ask her, and seriously who says no to Britt?
So here she was tagging along behind her two best friends. She looked at them and smiled, yes Santana was a bitch but when she was with Britt she was actually human. Quinn envied their relationship, she envied Santana's new sense of freedom, ever since that debacle with Finn (that idiot) outing her to the entire school, Santana had become comfortable in her own body. Once S had came out to her parents everything else seemed to fall into place for her, she and Britt were in a loving relationship and were out and proud. Quinn envied that freedom so much. She had come to terms with her sexuality a long time ago, but coming to terms with it didn't mean she really accepted, just that she knew she liked girls, but that she also knew she couldn't really do anything about that. She also knew that she liked one girl in particular, yup, that's right you guessed it, that one girl being Rachel fucking Berry. Of all the girls Quinn could possibly be irrevocably attracted to, why on earth did it have to be Rachel fucking Berry! The girl was impossibly arrogant, incredibly self centered, and a diva through and through! But she was also insanely attractive, she had legs that went on for days, she was compassionate and caring, she seemed to care a great deal for Quinn, but all that was always overshadowed by Rachel and Finn's epic love story. UGH. So yes Quinn had come to terms with her sexuality, but because the object of her affections was currently the girlfriend of one Finn Hudson, Quinn had no desire to explore said sexuality. That being said, it didn't mean she was blind, she definitely was starting to appreciate coming to this rave with S and B. There were hot girls EVERYWHERE and Quinn quietly took in the scene around her, jealous of her two best friends and jealous of everyone else being free and in love.
Quinn had volunteered to be the designated driver so that S and B could drink before getting to the rave, her one experience with alcohol had definitely left a sour taste in her mouth, not that she regretted Beth, she loved that little girl with all of her heart, but she definitely didn't want to get so wasted she ended up going home with a stranger. The three of them had finally made it into the huge venue, once inside Britt had made a beeline for the glow in the dark concession stand dragging S with her, which meant Quinn was trailing just behind them. The bass from the already thumping music was thrumming all through Quinn's body, she felt the pull of the bass and wanted to jump right into the crowd and start dancing, but her more reserved nature had her waiting off to the side for Britt and S to finish their purchase. Quinn absolutely loved dancing, it's one thing that always makes her feel free no matter what. She was shook out of her thoughts by Santana's voice,
"Q! are you going to stand there all night being boring or are you going to get your groove on with me and B?!" I've known Santana so long I know she's not being a bitch, it's just her way of speaking. Also she has a huge smile on her face so I know she's just asking me if I want to dance or not.
"Let's get out there and shake it bitches." I strut towards the dance floor knowing my girls are right behind me. We throw ourselves into the crowd and start dancing with each other, after about five minutes Britt and S are only dancing with each other, which is perfectly fine I'm used to it, so I just keep dancing on my own. A few guys come over and try to dance with me and I politely dance with them for a few minutes each time but my body language definitely lets them know that I'm not interested in anything more than just a quick dance. Everyone is fairly polite, none of the guys push me further than I allow which I'm grateful for. I'm still dancing off in my own world when I feel someone gyrating on me from behind pretty aggressively I glance over my shoulder and my eyes meet with piercing green eyes belonging to a red head wearing just a bikini. I stiffen for a moment and face forward my eyes catching Santana's and Britt's, they smile and give me a thumbs up, and for the first time in a long time I throw caution to the wind. I mean fuck it, I'm in Cleveland, I'll never see this girl again, a dance or two or three isn't going to kill me, so I relax back into the dance and start grinding into the incredibly attractive girl. We dance for a while and I glance up at the main stage and the screens surrounding it, there's a timer of some sort on the screen, it shows a count down of about 25 minutes until something happens, I have no idea what's supposed to happen but I don't think I want to miss it, so I take the moment to excuse myself from my impromptu dance partner and make my way over to S and B.
"Hey I'm going outside for a moment to get a drink of water I'm a little warm you guys stay here I'll be back before that counter hits zero!" I shout into San's ear and make my way off the dance floor towards the huge outdoor smoking area. Once outside the crisp cold air hits me and my head feels instantly clearer than it had on the dance floor. I make my way over to a corner and lean against the fence and partake in my second favorite thing, people watching. The age group is pretty diverse I see people from age 16 all the way up through mid to late 40s they're all talking like they have a million things in common. I guess it's just the atmosphere, and I have to say, I can see how easy it is to get comfortable here. No one seems to care who I am, who my parents are, where I'm from, or what my sexual preference is, and it feels great. My mind drifts back to my red headed dance partner and I can't help but hope that we'll meet again before the night is over, for what I have no idea, but I did enjoy dancing with her. I'm lost in thought when I hear a voice I would recognize anywhere. I glance in the direction of her voice and there in all her glory is Rachel fucking Berry. I take in the sight of her and God she's as gorgeous as always, but more so because she's ditched her skirts, her argyle, and her ugly sweaters, and traded them in for the tightest, shortest, white shorts ever, and a low cut tight white v-neck top. I swear I've died a little bit just now. I glance at who she's seemingly yelling at and notice that it's not Finn as I had feared but Puck, which is just as bad. I had heard that Rachel and Finn were on some sort of break, but I figured they'd be back together already, apparently not if she's hanging out with a shirtless Puck. I tune into their conversation not willing to make myself known to them at all,
"Noah I told you that Finn and I were on a break and I needed someone to hang out with and comfort me! I didn't mean for you to hit on me and take me to this rave!" Rachel gestured at him and punctuated her sentence with a punch to his shoulder. Puck had the decency to look apologetic as he rubbed his shoulder.
"Rach Chill! I'm sorry I hit on you I thought that maybe you wanted to try things with me again, and I took you here because I thought it'd be a great place to unwind and let go. Plus I know you like music and dancing, I'm sorry ok! Let's just have fun I promise I won't hit on you anymore!" He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder and I felt jealousy rip through me. Before I could stop myself I was already stomping over to them, people moved out of my way without me even sparing them a glance, I guess being a naturally dominant person comes in handy. I came to an abrupt stop in front of the pair, having not planned anything. Reverting to my go to reaction I greet them.
"Berry, Puckerman, what the hell are you two misfits doing here?" Puck gives me a once over and smirks at me I notice he has a 21 and over wristband on, I don't want to know how he got that bracelet seeing as we're only 18. But that isn't what has me speechless, it's Rachel's eyes raking all over my body that has me momentarily stunned, but as usual Puck's crassness ruins my moment.
"Baby momma, looking GOOD. Can I get you a drink?" I'm about to snap at him because God I HATE that nick name but before I can Rachel has spoken up.
"Noah, it'd be great if you could get us both some refreshments." He glances at her questioningly and they have this weird silent conversation thing that I'm left out of and I can't help but feel that jealousy twist through my body again. I'm on the verge of saying something nasty as Puck walks away but again am cut off by Rachel.
"Quinn, what a surprise to see you here. I honestly didn't think you were into things like this." I arch my brow at her and silently imply I had the same thought about her. "I mean, not like I am but Noah insisted we come to this and I had no idea what to expect…" She trails off and I take the opportunity to trail my eyes down her body and back up to her eyes there's something there I don't quite register but brush it off as I speak to her.
"Yes, well, for someone who had no idea what to expect you certainly are dressed like you know what you're doing." I reply with a hint of a smirk on my face. She blushes and I find my body humming in response. She smiles at me and I feel like my entire world has lit up.
"Well Noah was "kind" (she actually uses air quotes here and I feel like I can die with how adorable she looks) enough to purchase this outfit for my benefit and he did warn me about…" She trails off as she glances down at her wrist watch,
"Quinn we're gonna miss it come on!" I glance at my watch and realize that 24 minutes have passed since I told S and B I was going to go outside. Rachel grabs my hand and my heart skips a beat, but before I can thoroughly enjoy it she's pulling me through the crowd and back onto the dance floor. She doesn't stop once we're inside she keeps pulling me until we are straight smack in the middle of the crowded dance floor. The music is still thumping strong and the count down is at 30 seconds I glance around and notice everyone is thrumming with excitement and anticipation, the DJ gets on the mic and is counting down the final 10 seconds I have no idea what to expect and I glance at Rachel, she's hopping up and down and dancing to the music, the DJ gets to the final second and there's a loud boom! As the music hits it's crescendo and people start cheering and jumping around I glance upwards and notice there are streams of paint coming from every direction.
I get hit in the face, on my chest, on the back of my head, and basically everywhere. At first I'm shocked the paint is cold and messy and I don't know how to react, but one look over at Rachel and I let go, she's having the time of her life, she has paint all over and she's dancing around like it's nothing and she makes eye contact with me and she gives me the brightest smile and just like that I'm back to feeling the music. I start dancing to the beat of the music paint is still cascading all around people are rubbing against me I'm rubbing against them, it's the dirtiest most fun I've ever had. I look over at Rachel again and she's gyrating to the music, she catches me staring and winks at me, I internally swoon, but externally I quirk my brow at her and she throws her head back and laughs. My insides are jello, they've liquefied I can feel my heart in my throat and I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world. She reaches for me and pulls me closer to her she has paint all over her hands she glances at me and all of a sudden her hands are all over my face rubbing paint everywhere, I'm shocked but I keep dancing and laughing anyway. All of a sudden confetti is coming from the ceiling and it's all so messy but I'm having the greatest time ever. Rachel and I are separated for a moment as a line of people make their way past us, in the 2 minutes that we're apart I feel someone's hands on my hips I look over and again am met with dazzling green eyes. Oh, Red is back, she's back and she's covered in slippery wet paint and she's got her front pressed tightly to my back and it just feels so good I grind back into her and let myself get into the dance. I feel her hands roaming up and down my stomach and my body, slipping easily because of all the paint, I'm dancing with my eyes closed but when I open them I'm met with big brown ones. Brown eyes that are staring right through me and into my soul, I gasp and I guess red thinks I'm gasping because of her because her hand boldly travels up my stomach and over my chest, this time I gasp but out of utter shock at her brazenness, but I can't waste time reprimanding Red because Rachel fucking Berry is running off the dance floor. I grab Red's wrist and remove her hands from my body I look at her and give her a smile that says I'm sorry, and I run off the dance floor in the direction of my heart. I pass S and B grinding together and I pass Puck dancing with some girl, guess he forgot about our drinks, I rush outside and look all around.
The cold air hits me even harder this time because I'm covered in all this wet paint but I don't even register it because all I care about is finding Rachel and finding out why she ran from me. She can't be disgusted with my display can she? I mean she has two gay dads! Finally my eyes land on her, she's standing in a corner, her back to me and her face in her hands. I approach her tentatively,
"Berry?" I hear her sniffle and I hate myself for being the cause of her tears once more. "Hey, what's the matter?" I see her wipe her face with her hands which is comical because she's just smearing paint everywhere.
"Quinn, I'm sorry I ran out, some of the confetti got in my eyes and I was afraid it'd damage my vision somehow so I came out to get cleaned up, no need to worry, please feel free to go back to your f…..friend." she chokes out the last part and gives me a pained smile. A poor replica of the one she had given me inside on the dance floor.
"I don't even know her, I met her earlier when I first arrived, and she danced with me and it was nice, I was caught up with the music this second time and you were separated from me, and look, I don't even know why I'm explaining to you."
"Yes, of course, you're right Quinn there's no reason for you to explain anything to me. I mean aside from the obviously Sapphic dance you were partaking in, there needs to be no explanation whatsoever." I scoff at her rambling and she immediately tenses up.
"Listen Berry, I'm sure seeing me dance with another girl is weird, and honestly it's weird for me to have you witness it, but I came here to have fun and be free, and if you can't handle that then it's fine. I'll see you around Rachel, have a great night." I start to turn on my heel when I feel her fingers wrap around my wrist. I turn and raise my eyebrow at her.
"Say that again Quinn." I frown at her but she has the most hopeful look on her face.
"Rachel, I am NOT going to repeat everything I just said, if you don't even have the decency to listen to me then I don't know what I'm doing still standing here." I try to pull out of her grasp but she doesn't let me, she pulls me to her and she's impossibly close to me, I feel my breath hitch.
"No Quinn I heard you loud and clear, I just wanted to hear you say my name again." I feel wonderful and crappy all at the same time. I feel wonderful because oh my God Rachel fucking Berry likes how I say her name, and I feel crappy because how awful have I been to her that just saying her first name makes her light up.
"Quinn I can't promise you anything, I mean I am currently on a break with Finn, but I have no idea what that really means right now. All I know is that Quinn when you say my name, when you look at me, when I hear you laugh, it all makes me feel like there are a million butterflies fluttering around in my stomach." I feel my chest constrict tightly, because yes she just said everything I've wanted to hear, but she also said there's still a possibility of her and Finn. I blink back my tears and finally pull free of her grasp, she lets go and her hand falls limply down to her side. She looks at me with her big brown eyes and I decide then and there, I'm going to tell her exactly how I feel.
"Rachel, let me first start by saying I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry for the way I've treated you for the past 3 years. I've been in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I lashed out at you because ANY interaction with you was better than NO interaction with you, even if it meant that I was hurting you. It's selfish I know but I hadn't accepted my feelings for you yet. I've come to terms with my sexuality and I've learned to admit that yes I am in love with you. I'm distant with you because I know that in the end you'll always go back to Finn. I understand I do, but you can't say those things to me Rachel. Because it makes my heart stutter, and then it makes my heart break. So after this conversation let's just go our separate ways Rachel, let's finish the night apart and tomorrow, when we go back to school let's pretend this never even happened. I'm not saying I'm going back to calling you man hands," She cringes at the long ago used nick name,
"but I'm not saying we can be best friends either, because Rachel I can't stand to see you with anyone not me." A tear slides down my cheek after the last word and I finally turn and walk away. I walk into the venue and look around for Santana and Britt. Tears are streaming down my face now, for years I've kept that locked away, my feelings were locked inside my chest and within just an hour everything has come bursting forth. Santana find me leaning against a pillar crying my eyes out, her and Britt are on instant high alert.
"Q what the fuck happened, who do I need to kill?!" Protective Santana, this is the girl who I love, who Britt loves. I smile at her and she looks at me concerned, "Britt go get the car we're going home." Britt turns to leave and I grab her,
"No Britt, S, we don't have to go, let's stay I was having a great time." Santana scoffs at me,
"Obviously." She looks pointedly at my tear stained cheeks.
"No really, I just had a momentary emotional breakdown. I'm ok, I'm better than ok. Really." They both look at me skeptically and I smile, honestly I do feel better than ok, telling Rachel how I felt lifted a heavy burden off my shoulders. "Rachel's here." S inhales sharply.
"I KNEW something was wrong, where is that little troll was she the one to make you cry I'll kill her!" Santana begins to look around the building frantically.
"S calm down, I'm crying because I finally told her how I felt." She stops looking around and looks me straight in the eye her mouth hanging open. Britt engulfs me in a hug.
"Quinn I'm so proud of you. You finally unpressed your lemon." I smile at Britt and her word choice. "Where is she Quinn? Are you going to get your lady kisses on now?" I laugh at Britt, she has such an easy view on life.
"No Britt, she's still on her break with Finn she told me she gets butterflies in her stomach when she's near me, but that she doesn't know what's going to happen because of Finn." I reply to Britt sadly and more tears slip from my eyes as Britt holds me tighter. I hear Santana growl and once again her eyes are darting all over the place, presumably looking for Rachel.
"I'll kill her, can't she see what a douche bag Finncompetent is?! She's LUCKY you like her stupid short ass!" I laugh and pull out of Britt's grasp and pull Santana into a hug and instantly she's calm and she's rubbing my back. "Q I'm sorry, I know this hurts now, but you'll get over her, telling her your feelings will help with the healing process, I promise. Now let's go find that smoking hot red head and get you some sweet lady loving." I pull out of our embrace and give her a smile,
"San you and Britt go back to dancing I'm going to get a bottle of water and some fresh air." They look at me and are hesitant to get back to the rave, I give them a little nudge, "I'm serious, I'm fine, go, I'll find you guys soon." They both smile at me, link hands, and run back onto the dance floor. I smile at the two girls I know will be in my life forever. I turn and walk towards the concession stand and purchase a bottle of water. I walk back outside and take in a deep breath of air. Even though my heart feels broken I know I'll heal, I feel better even though I feel like crap. I take a quick look around to make sure Rachel isn't nearby. I find a nice area away from the crowd and lean against the fence, I tip my head back and look up into the sky, it's a wonderfully clear night and all the stars seem to be out, I'm so busy appreciating the beauty that I don't realize someone has walked up to me until I'm startled by an incredibly sexy voice.
"I've been looking everywhere for you." I look away from the sky and into green eyes. "You keep running away from me, I'm starting to think I smell," Red makes a show of smelling her armpits and I can't help but laugh. "Now that is a beautiful sound, I'd do anything to make you laugh again just to hear it." I smile shyly at her and duck my head. "Don't do that, don't hide that gorgeous face from me. I've been searching for it all night, it'd be a shame to have you hide it from me now that I'm this close, I'm Lisa by the way." She sticks her hand out for me to shake, I reach out and shake her hand.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Quinn. I'm sorry about the disappearing act, I don't make a habit of dancing with someone and running away."
"You don't? I thought it was like a Cinderella fantasy you were trying to play out." I laugh again, she's funny, and she seems sweet. "Music to my ears. So Cinder Quinn, what has you out here instead of in there?" She points towards the sound of the thumping bass.
"Just Quinn, and really I just needed some fresh air." I sigh thinking about Rachel for a brief flash. I guess not brief enough because Lisa is frowning at me.
"Oh, I know that look Just Quinn. That look means that I'm wasting my time. You have your heart set on someone else. I'm a great listener if you want to talk to someone detached from the situation?" I smile at her and vehemently curse myself for being in love with Rachel fucking Berry.
"No, I would hate to bother you with such trivial things, besides she doesn't feel the same so there's no reason to cry over spilt milk." She smiles at me indulgently,
"Tell me anyway." And her tone is so sincere and so open that I do, I tell her anyway. I tell her everything and in the end I'm in tears again. She pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead, "Oh sweetie, I know it hurts, but your friend Santana, she's right, now that you've spilled it all to her, it'll be easy to get over her. But hun, do you WANT to get over her?" I pull back from her hug slightly so I can look her in the eyes.
"Of COURSE I want to get over her, you think I LIKE loving someone that doesn't want me?"
"ok, but Quinn, do you want to get over her because she doesn't love you back or do you want to get over her because you no longer want her." I frown at her in thought.
"I guess because SHE doesn't want ME." She smiles at me and pulls me back into the hug. I lay my head on her shoulder and tighten my grip around her waist. It feels nice being hugged, even if it is by a total stranger.
"Tell me Quinn, what does she look like?" I sigh into her shoulder and picture Rachel in my mind.
"She's short, like tiny short, but it suits her, she's adorable. She has gorgeous brown hair, big soulful brown eyes, an incredible tan for someone living in Ohio, legs that go on for days despite her short nature, and God her smile, her smile could light the darkest cave. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on." I trail off wistfully.
"What does she look like angry?" I pull back from the hug and look into Lisa's eyes,
"What?" I notice Lisa isn't even look at me she's looking past me, I pull out of her arms and turn around, my hand still on Lisa's hip. There, standing about 5 feet away is one angry looking Rachel fucking Berry. I turn to say something to Lisa but instead she's spinning me around and pulling me into her. Our faces are inches apart when she speaks to me,
"Good luck Quinn, I would like nothing more than to sweep you off your feet, but you're not ready to let her go, and honestly it doesn't look like she's ready to let you go either, but if you ever find yourself truly over her, don't hesitate to call me," she slips something into my front pocket and before I know what's happening her lips are on mine. It's a passionate kiss, her tongue has slipped into my mouth somehow and I feel myself responding to her. It's my first kiss with a girl and it's great. Her lips are so soft, they taste faintly of cherry but before I can really get into the kiss Lisa has pulled away.
"I just had to know what it was like kissing you." And with that last kiss Lisa disappears into the crowd and I'm left with a fuming Rachel approaching me.
"What the fuck was that Quinn?!" she snaps at me and I can't help it but hearing Rachel curse sends a jolt right down into my core. I stare at her flabbergasted unable to formulate words at the moment,
"Quinn are you even listening to me?! You run off before I'm even done talking to you, I look everywhere for you and finally I find you out here making out with some slutty red head! Did you mean anything that you fucking said to me?! Or was this just some cruel joke?" She stomps her foot and crosses her arms over her chest. I lose it in that instant. A joke?! A fucking joke?! Is she kidding me? She's the one who told me things between her and Finn were still up in the air, what right does she have? And I say as much to her,
"Are you kidding me Rachel? What right do you have getting angry over who I spend my time with, you're on a BREAK with Finn, you told ME you had no idea what this meant, I gave you an out Berry. I told you to pretend this never happened, we both know you're going back to Hudson tomorrow when school starts anyway! So why don't you cut the shit and let me enjoy the rest of my night!" I know my use of her surname stings her but I can't help it. She's fucking up my head and I don't like it.
"Yes I said I didn't know what this meant, but Quinn I didn't say I wanted to forget tonight, this is the most YOU I've seen since, EVER. I like this Quinn, I like this free Quinn who speaks what's on her mind, it's all I've ever wanted from you. Why couldn't this Quinn be the one I met when I was 14?" I sigh and turn away from her.
"Rachel, what do you want from me? I just want to get over you. I don't want to hurt anymore." I feel her hand on my waist. She turns me around and I face her once again.
"Quinn, I don't know what I want, but I don't want to forget tonight, and I don't want you to hurt anymore either, but I need time, I need to know if what I'm feeling for you right now is real, I need to know if it'll last past tonight, I'm scared Quinn that I'll give into these feelings tonight and tomorrow at school I'll have a grape slushie with my name on it thrown in my face." I gasp and pull away because I haven't slushied her in years, but I'm ashamed because honestly, that's how I would have responded if this had happened a few years ago. I start to pull away but her grip on my waist tightens,
"But what I DO know Quinn, is that I want to spend the rest of tonight dancing with you, laughing with you, getting to know YOU. Because Quinn before tonight my heart has never beat so erratically, and you make me feel that way, you make me feel scared and excited all at once, and I just want some time Quinn, can you give me that?" She finishes her sentence with a bite to her lower lip and I can't help myself, I lean forward and I take her lower lip into my mouth. I'm internally freaking out because what if she slaps me, but I can't stop because my God Rachel fucking Berry tastes like heaven. I slide my lips against hers, I feel both her hands on my waist gripping me tightly, I know she'll leave marks but I don't care, all I care about is how she feels against my lips. My tongue darts out and licks her bottom lip, she gasps and I take the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth, I let out a guttural moan at the feel of her tongue sliding against my own. Wait, her tongue is sliding against my own? She's kissing me back! Rachel fucking Berry is kissing me back! I release another moan and this time I feel her fingers digging into my sides in response. She shoves me against the fence and now her body is pressed into mine she feels slippery in my grip from the paint but I could care less, my hands are threaded into her hair and I'm pulling her impossibly closer to me. Finally the lack of oxygen forces me to reluctantly pull away and she lays her head on my chest not meeting my eyes.
"Rach," My voice is much huskier than I intended when I say her name and I feel her shiver against me, "are you ok? I'm sorry I couldn't help it I just wanted to know how it would feel kissing you, please don't hate me."
"Quinn how could I ever hate you? That kiss was everything I've ever dreamed about. You're making this really hard for me Quinn, how can I think straight when all I can think about is how wonderful of a kisser you are." I lean my nose down to the top of her head and breathe in deep, her scent envelops me and I feel like I can die right now and I'd feel complete.
"Then don't think Rach, just choose me. Choose ME." She pulls back then and I whimper at the loss of her body.
"Quinn be reasonable, I have to speak to Finn I have to find out where we stand, and I need time to deal with this Quinn."
"DEAL with this?! Rachel this isn't just some problem to be dealt with, you felt exactly what I felt in that kiss, it should be simple! You've given Hudson SO many chances, why can't you give ME just ONE chance?" I slam my fist into the gate behind me.
"It's NOT that simple Quinn you KNOW that!"
"I DON'T know that Rachel! It seems easy enough, date me, give me just one chance and you'll see how much happier you will be with me! Tell me you didn't love that kiss Rachel! Tell me you want me to leave you alone and I will." Tears were once again streaming down my face.
"Quinn you know I can't tell you that," she steps into me again her hands on my face brushing away the tears.
"I can't tell you I didn't love that kiss, because you know I loved it. I can't tell you to leave me alone because Quinn I've wanted you for as long, if not longer, as you've wanted me. But Quinn, I need to sort things out with Finn, it's only fair I talk to him about the break." I could feel my heart breaking. What she's asking of me is fair I know it is, but I can't shake the feeling that tomorrow when she goes to talk to Finn about the break he'll somehow convince her to be with him again, and that'll leave me broken hearted once again, and I just don't see myself surviving the heart break now that I've had a taste of her. My tears have picked up and I'm sobbing even harder now.
"Quinn, talk to me please, please stop crying, baby don't cry please." My heart shatters at her term of endearment, and I know I have to try just for tonight,
"Rach, please, just give me tonight, be with ME tonight, don't think about Finn or your break with him. Just be with me tonight. Please." I'm begging her I can see her resolve crumbling so I continue pushing,
"I know that you need time to talk to him Rach, and that's fair I get it, but I can't help but feel like you'll just go back to him and you won't give US a chance, and that's ok Rach. I get it, he's your forever love, but please, just for tonight, let me have MY forever love? You're my forever Rach even if I'm not yours. Just tonight, and I'll give you all the time you need to do whatever you want and if in the end what you want is Finn, I'll understand. But right now, just be with me." Her hand is on my face and I'm worried I've pushed her away but all of a sudden she's pulling my face down towards her own and her tongue is begging me for entrance that I gladly give. She kisses me and I see fireworks, we pull apart and I'm panting into her,
"Ok, Quinn. Ok." Three simple words and I'm walking on clouds, I push away the nagging thought that it's just for tonight and I capture her lips in another bruising kiss. Her hands are roaming all over my body and mine are all over hers, her hands slip down to my ass and she grabs me pulling me closer to her so that our bodies are fused together I pull out of the kiss and moan, she latches onto my neck and starts to suck on my pulse. The bass is still bumping loudly and I can feel it in my body it enhances the way she is making me feel. I know she's going to leave a mark and I can't find it in myself to care. I angle my neck so she has more access and I feel her smile into my skin.
"Quinn your taste is addicting." She punctuates this with a nip to my neck and I moan again.
"and the noises you're making are driving me crazy." I feel her press her knee into my core just as she presses her center down against my thigh. I feel her heat and it takes everything in me not to mount her right here. She's grinding into me and her breathing is heavy I want to rip her clothes off, I know this will be my only chance to have her like this but I don't want everyone to see her naked so I reign in my need and pull back slightly. She groans at the loss of contact and I almost lose all my control.
"Quinn you can't pull yourself away from me right now, you wanted me to let go and I'm letting go Quinn, don't try and stop me now!" I husk out a laugh and she groans again,
"Quinn the sounds you make will be the death of me."
"Rachel, trust me the last thing I want to do is stop, but honestly, are you ok with dry humping here in front of everyone? I mean those guys over there haven't taken their eyes off us since we started making out." She glances over and glares at them and it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
"Absolutely not ok with them watching. Let's go back inside and dance Quinn because if we stay out here much longer making out I really won't care WHO watches." She grabs my hand and drags me back inside. As we walk in I spot Santana immediately who lifts a questioning brow at me, I smile at her letting her know that now is not the time to question me, I pray she takes the hint. I see her smile at me and nod and I'm grateful my best friend can read me so well. Rachel continues pulling me into the crowd once she finds a spot she's happy with she presses her back into my front and starts to grind. I let out a moan and plant my hands firmly onto her hip pulling her flush against me. She has her hands in my hair and she yanks my head down to meet her lips in a heated kiss. The music is blaring all around us but all I can hear is my heartbeat in my ears. Rachel releases me from our kiss with a sloppy pop and immediately latches onto the side of my neck that she hadn't yet bruised. We continue dancing and all I can think about is how this all feels so right, and how when this night is over this will be all I have to remember her by. The thought sends a shock of sadness through me and it's as if she's linked to me because she instantly senses my change in emotion and spins around to face me, her arms coming up to wrap around my neck,
"Quinn, stop getting into your own head, just enjoy me." I can't argue with that so I lean in and capture her lips just as a stream of paint splashes us. She squeals out of shock and I can't help but laugh at her. She takes a handful of paint and rubs it all over my chest and takes off running. I chase her through the dance floor dancing with random people and dancing with her, the night goes on and we lose ourselves to the music and to the atmosphere.
By the end of the night we're leaning up against the wall heavily making out, her hands have found their way under my shorts and onto my ass while my hands have found their way under her shirt and up her back, she squeezes me and I rake my nails down her back I can't get enough of her and I don't want to stop because once we do it's over, the night's over and tomorrow, tomorrow she'll be back with Finn and I'll be alone. We're so absorbed with each other I don't initially hear Santana clearing her throat, or Puck's crude remark. We don't break apart until someone slaps me on the arm. I break apart from her and level whoever that hand is attached to with a glare. Santana gives me her own glare before she speaks,
"Hey Q I hate to break up this lesbotron make out session you're having with Gimli the dwarf, but it's time to go." I cringe at her harsh nick name for Rachel.
"San, be nice." I plead with her and she gives me a hard glare before turning her eyes over to Rachel.
"Be nice? You want me to be nice? I found you in TEARS not more than 4 hours ago Q because of the king of Munchkins there, and you want me to be nice? Has she been nice? Will she continue being nice once the night is over Q? No, I don't think so, so NO I won't be nice. Now peel that gremlin off of you and let's get going it's a long drive home." I sigh and look down at Rachel, I know that everything Santana is saying is true, but it still hurts to face it. Rachel looks up at me with watery eyes and the words that come out of her mouth aren't directed at me but she doesn't break eye contact with me the entire time.
"I don't expect you to be nice to me Santana, hell I've even grown to expect your harsh brutality. But you're right, I did make Quinn cry and it's on the top of my list of regrets. Tonight has been the best night of my life so far, and I know that it will forever be one of my favorite nights of all time, perhaps surpassed only by the night in the future where I win my first Tony award." I smile at her rambling and her confidence, Santana rolls her eyes,
"As for what will happen after tonight, I have no idea Santana and for that I'm sorry. I wish I could promise Quinn that things will be perfect come tomorrow, but the fact of the matter is that I cannot. Quinn asked me to let go for the night, and I have, and I don't regret a moment of it, but it was just for tonight. Tomorrow I need to face Finn and my feelings and I have no idea how that will end. So I'm sorry I can't promise anything." Tears are again sliding down my face and she reaches up to wipe them away, "Quinn, please don't cry. I enjoyed tonight, I hope you enjoyed it as much as me."
"I did Rach, thank you." She plants a soft kiss on my lips and pulls back locking eyes with me once more.
"Don't thank me Quinn, I didn't do anything, I should thank you for allowing me to be with you even if it was just for tonight. I'm sorry if this night does more damage than it does good." I nod at her sadly and kiss her again.
"you're fucking kidding me right?!" I'm not shocked by the outburst, I'm shocked by who it's coming out of. I pull out of the kiss and look up into the eyes of one angry looking Brittany S. Pierce,
"Rachel you can't be serious. Quinn like loves you. Actually loves you, she wants you to succeed, she cheers for you when you sing, she defends you when Santana calls you Frodo, when you speak she makes googly eyes at you, how can you after tonight still think you need to give Finn Hudson, the Michelin tire man, another chance?!" I stare at Britt mouth agape,
"Brittany it's not that simple…" Rachel doesn't get to finish her thought before Britt is speaking again.
"Bullshit! I call bullshit! It IS that simple Rachel. Quinn unpressed her lemon for you! Quinn opened up to you tonight and told you EVERYTHING. Do you know how hard that was for her? You are smoking hot for someone so short and talkative and I used to think you were the smartest person in our stupid high school, but seriously Rachel I'm really starting to second guess myself because you're an idiot if you don't choose Quinn." I smile at Britt and I love her for her support and her love, but my love for Rachel supercedes what I need and what I want because all I want is for Rachel to be happy, even if it's not with me.
"Britt, San, thank you for everything you've said but can I have a moment with Rachel?"
"Sure Q, keebler elf, try not to break my girl's heart more than you already have." I look back to Rachel and am about to speak when I'm cut off,
"Seriously baby momma I had no idea you had a lady boner for my hot Jew princess here. Guess we have more in common than I thought." I glare at Puck but before I can say anything I'm cut off AGAIN.
"Noah, I'd really like to have a moment alone with Quinn if you don't mind?"
"Oh, yeah sure Rach I'll be by the car once you're ready to go."
"Thank you Noah I appreciate it." We watch him walk off before we find ourselves alone again. She tips her head up and pulls me down for another kiss. I savor this kiss because it feels like our last. When she pulls back there's a small frown on her face.
"Quinn, I'm sorry. I can't really come to terms with everything right now because everything has happened so quickly, the one thing I know is that tonight was magical. Give me time, I won't ask you to wait, but if after everything settles and we find ourselves still available and still attracted to each other I wouldn't be opposed to asking you out on a date." I smile sadly at her and nod holding back my tears.
"I understand Rach I do, and I can't promise I'll wait for you because this hurts so fucking much right now, and I can't promise I'll even be your friend after this Rach because really I wouldn't be able to handle being so close to you without being able to do this," I lean down and capture her lips once again sliding my tongue into her mouth and reveling in her taste. I pull out of the kiss leaving her breathless.
"I just wouldn't be able to handle it Rach, you understand don't you?"
"Yes Quinn, I do, I would never ask you to stick around for that. I just want you happy Quinn, and I wish so badly that I could be your happiness but I just don't know yet Quinn."
"Ok Rach, I better get going." I start to pull out of her embrace and as our bodies separate a shudder runs through me and I instantly miss her warmth.
"Get home safely Berry." I try to sound disconnected, I need to build my walls back up because I'll need them to face tomorrow. She frowns at the reemergence of her surname. But she shakes it off,
"I'm going to hug you now Quinn I know it seems silly I'd warn you of a simple hug after all that but, well you know how I am." I smile and open my arms to her, she jumps into the hug burying her nose into my neck and inhaling.
"I'll miss the smell of you Quinn."
"Rachel don't," I pull her away from my body and hold her at an arms length.
"It's time, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." She nods at me and I turn to walk away.
"Quinn?" I turn around and face her, hope dancing in my eyes.
"Even if it's just for tonight, I just want you to know I love you too Quinn." And with the words I've been waiting forever to hear I feel the last piece of my heart shatter. The tears are falling freely again down my face and I do nothing to stop them because I think maybe I need this.
"I love you Rachel, so much." I turn without another word and walk away from her, from the girl who stole my heart back in freshman year. My heart may have broken tonight but from the destruction I can feel myself healing, feel myself growing and I can't help but to smile at that. Rachel fucking Berry just single handedly destroyed me and gave me a fresh new beginning all in the same night.