we need a melody, a gorgeous four part harmony, so it all makes sense.
Summary: The one where The Marauders are a band and they move in together but forgot some stuff.
Or
The one where Remus is the only responsible one in the group, as per usual, Target is some sort of unholy labyrinth, and it all works out in the end.
Request: Can you plz write about the marauders going to target?
Note: In addition to the request, this is somewhat inspired by me trying to find things in the super target by my university and also partially by the scene in Gilmore Girls (episode 15 of Season 4 if you're really curious) where Lane, Brian, and Zack move in together and nobody brought anything they actually need(like cups or forks or towels or shit like that).
Also I think I accidentally fell in love with the idea of an American Muggle Rock Band version of the Marauders when I was writing this. Oops. Anyway I have a bunch of headcanons about the marauders in this verse on tumblr (and there may or may not be more fics in this verse, I'll have to see I guess).
The Title is from Beach Boys by Weezer, which is a good song for this verse and just the marauders in general.
Remus walked into the tiny living room that doubled as James and Peter's bedroom, feeling a little crazy and overwhelmed. "Did either of you bring kitchen things?"
"Kitchen things?" Peter called from where he was attempting to assemble his and James's bunk beds.
"You know, bowls, forks, cups?" Remus was quickly getting the feeling that this was a very stupid choice, moving in together.
"Uh, no, but I brought my stereo." Peter was still trying to put together the beds.
"Wait. Why did you bring your stereo? I have mine and my record player. We don't need yours," James said, assembling said audio equipment while sitting in their kitchen.
"Great. We have four fucking stereo systems and no dishes." Remus threw his hands up into the air and turned to go back to his and Sirius's room.
"And no towels," James added, rather unhelpfully, from his spot on the kitchen floor of their newly rented and fairly dingy apartment.
Remus came into his and Sirius's bedroom and flopped face down onto their bed, causing Sirius to laugh at him while he unpacked yet another of his many boxes of clothes.
"What, packing got you tired out already, Moony?" Sirius was trying not laugh, Remus didn't have to see their face to know that, he could just hear it in their voice.
"This was a stupid, crazy, utterly insane idea, Sirius." His voice was muffled because face was still buried face down on their bed.
"It's going to be fine." Sirius moved over to sit on the bed beside Remus when he said it.
Remus turned his head to look at him, "how? Nobody has dishes or towels or money probably. This place isn't cheap, even though the four of us are splitting rent and it's about as run-down as they come." He was building himself up into a panic, he could feel it, and he was pretty sure that Sirius could too, because they rearranged Remus so that they were both sitting propped up against the wall at the head of their bed, side by side with Remus's head on Sirius's shoulder and Sirius's arm wrapped around Remus's waist, pressing him tight to their side.
"I've got all of my inheritance money so we can get dishes and towels and even curtains if you'd like, and just think about how great it's going to be having the whole band under one roof. Granted, it's kind of a tight squeeze but it's ours and there's room to rehearse and all of the best bands lived together in a shitty apartment together at some point, right? I mean, The Sex Pistols lived together. And Sonic Youth. And they're amazing, rock legends."
"Sonic Youth broke up." Remus buried his face in Sirius's shoulder and felt kind of bad for saying that; they were trying to make him feel better and they did kind of have a point, well, except about their inheritance. Part of why they were living in this dump is because Sirius very much did not want to have anything to do with their estranged family, inheritance included. "And you're not using your inheritance. We can manage."
Sirius turned their head and laid a kiss on Remus's head. "My mother would be rolling in her grave to know that her good Christian family fortune was being sullied by her queer child and their band if we used it."
"You wanted nothing to do with the money before, what's changed?" Remus wanted to lift his head and look Sirius in the eye but he had no way to do so since Sirius's head was resting on top of his now and they'd knock their heads together if he moved.
"You're just so worried, and rightly so, since being a band pays shit. You have that part time gig at the library and Pete is working at a temp agency and James and I are giving guitar lessons and none of that pays very well and I just thought that since I have the money we might as well spend it."
"If you're sure." Remus didn't sound entirely sure, but if Sirius decided to use their inheritance then he wasn't going to stop him since they were right and none of them were paid very much. "I'm still making you follow the budget I've worked out."
"Of course, Moony."
The four of them were squished into Peter's beat up red 1968 Volkswagen van that also doubled as the official Marauder Band Van. Normally, it would've fit the four of them just fine, Peter and Remus is the front, driving and navigating respectively, and James and Sirius fooling around in the back. However, since they had a gig two days prior and still hadn't figured out where they were going to put everything in their apartment yet, the bus had to hold the four marauders, Remus's drum kit, and all their sound equipment, making it quite the tight fit, at least for Sirius and James in the back.
"So, Moony, tell us again what the difference between a regular Target and a Super Target is?" James was giggling when he asked that stupid question yet again.
"I told you, James, I haven't a clue." He sighed when he said it because he didn't know what made it super, but it was the closest and therefore where they were going, but the other three found it hilarious that he, the one who usually knew things- the human dictionary they often joked, didn't know, James especially.
"In five hundred feet, turn right and then your destination will be on your right," The GPS said in a really annoying british male voice that Sirius had set it to when they finally caved and all pitched in to buy it when they got lost one time too many on the way to an out of town gig.
When they turned right as instructed, Remus understood the super in Super Target. "It's fucking ginormous."
"I guess that explains the super then," Peter said, driving around the equally large parking lot looking for a spot.
"I guess it does."
They were walking up to the store, nearly at the doors, when Remus stopped them and pulled them out of the way of the people behind them moving toward the doors. "Now, I made a list and a budget and we are sticking to this list and this budget, alright? No spontaneous pop tart buying, no deciding that we really need a fuzzy rug or something for somebody's stereo, okay?"
"Aw, no fun, Moony," James said with a mock pout.
"We are not here for fun, we are here to make our place actually livable."
"Alright, fine," the other three marauders agreed, with varying degrees of reluctance.
When they got inside, Remus pulled two carts away from the rest and put James in charge of pushing one and Sirius in charge of the other.
"Why can't I push a cart, Remus?" Peter looked severely bummed about his cart-less existence.
"Because those two hooligans don't need to be running wild. This is the closest to order that we're going to get." Remus said with a sigh as the two idiots in question were trying to scooter around with the carts, one foot on the rack beneath the cart and the other pushing off on the ground to propel them around.
"I can be a hooligan too, so can I have a shopping cart," Peter said, looking like a child about to do something they knew was against the rules.
"Don't you dare." Remus fixed him with a glare that would make a hardened criminal quake in his boots.
"Yes, mom." Peter looked properly chastised and not at all rebellious, though he still made a cheeky remake, meaning that Remus knew he didn't hurt Peter's feelings.
"And don't you forget it," He said to Peter before turning to Sirius and James, "Alright, guys, first on the list is a table and chairs, otherwise we're sitting on the floor for the rest of forever."
"Chairs it is; come on, boys!" And then Sirius was leading the way into the store, very quickly and very confidently, so the other three followed behind them. They walked through the section that was right in front of the doors they came in, which was children's clothing, and toward what was, presumably, the back of the store, though the place was, as Remus had previously noted, fucking huge.
The children's clothing section gave way to nursery things and that gave way to the back wall of the store and a door that said "Employees only" on it, but Sirius showed no sign of stopping and simply turned right and walked from section to section until they were in the grocery part of the store, which was on the complete opposite side of the store from where they started.
"Sirius, I don't think you know where you're going." That was James, who was bringing up the rear in their strange little cart caravan as it traveled through the store.
"Very astute observation, Jamie Boy. I do not, in fact, know where I am going. What I do know is that this is food and we need food. So, food, I guess," They looked at Remus for confirmation since Remus was the official bearer of The List of what they needed.
"Yeah, okay, food, but then chairs," Remus's somewhat carefully organized list was falling to the wayside but he was rolling with it.
They went down the nearest aisle, cereal, and Remus had to break up a fight when he said two different family sized boxes of cereal would be enough but James and Sirius couldn't agree on just two. Peter had no opinion, since he couldn't eat wheat, and was over at the other end of the aisle looking at the gluten free cereal. Thankfully, the two were stuck between Lucky Charms, which Remus absolutely despised, and Fruit Loops, so Remus grabbed the Fruit Loops and put them in Sirius's cart, despite their protests.
"Lucky Charms taste like stale cheerios with some really sad marshmallows mixed in, Sirius, so it's two against one for the Fruit Loops." Sirius pouted in an overly exaggerated way but relented, which meant that they weren't actually upset but were going to pretend to be until something else caught their attention, which Remus could live with.
Peter came over holding a box of some cereal that Remus had never seen before and put in the cart. "All set, Pete?" At his nod they moved on to the next aisle.
They didn't have much trouble getting the rest of their food for the month, though the desire to abandon their entire cart worth of food for ice cream and pizza rolls was fairly strong in all four of them when they reached the frozen section. They didn't load up on frozen junk food, though, for which Remus was sure they'd be glad about in a few years when they didn't weigh five hundred pounds.
The hard part came when they left the grocery section and went back into the center of the store, of which they'd previously only seen the little bit of the aisles toward the back of the store, which were craft supplies and stationary, since they hadn't wandered through each and every one at the time. Now, though, they were going to have to. That or talk to someone who worked there. So, they wandered about, getting what they needed (though, sometimes, it most definitely was not in the way Remus was picturing when he wrote the list- such as James and Peter's insistence that they should get bean bag chairs and a really big coffee table instead of a proper kitchen table and chairs because it cost the same and anything proper absolutely was not rock and roll, and, when faced with such a solid argument how could Remus say no? So they bought four neon bean bag chairs and a huge coffee table).
When they got back home, six hours and many dollars later, Remus was exhausted but feeling better about the whole living with the band thing than he had been that morning when they'd started moving in. Yes, they had superhero themed plastic dishes likely meant for children in their kitchen and yes the ceiling may or may not have a leak and yes they were very bad at putting together anything that said "some assembly required" (which was most everything because otherwise it wouldn't have fit in the van), but, when Remus came out of the bathroom after setting up a shelf and shower curtain with a giant rubber duck on it (after four failed attempts, one of which involved him hitting himself in the head with the shower curtain rod and swearing very loudly, causing Sirius to run in and smother him and threaten to take him to the emergency room), he came out to Peter putting dishes on the table for dinner and James cooking something that smelled amazing in the kitchen while Sirius was putting up curtains in the living room/Peter and James's room.
When they sat down for supper, Remus couldn't help himself, he grinned so hard it hurt and started crying just a little. "You guys, this is gonna work."
"Of course it is," James scoffed, even as he got up to join Sirius and Peter in their first group hug in their new home.