Hi guys! If you're reading this, maybe you've read some of my previous and unfinished Fic, Not Going Anywhere (for which the continuation is postponed indefinitely – pending motivation), or maybe you're just randomly happening by this one, but I've cooked up the start of another little Spashley story in my head, and it just had to get out on paper. I've posted the prologue-esque thing as well as the first chapter below. I don't really know how I feel about it, but if you wanted to take the time to read it, please let me know what you think. I will try to get you updates as often as I can, but my schedule is very busy with school and I can't promise that they'll be super often, only that my motivation to write right now is strong, so I'll do the best that I can. I am sincerely sorry for the fact that I've let my other story slip away from me, and I'll try my hardest to redeem myself a little with this one. Thank for taking the time to read this lengthy intro, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Love always, M.
Prologue-Esque Thing.
I couldn't possibly have predicted the way that the person I met that day would alter my life, as if a lever was pulled, causing the train to shift tracks and head in another direction to a new destination. If I had known it was the end of the old Spencer, I might have done something differently. I might have treasured the things that I cared most about, the people I cared most about before everything changed, if I had I known that my world would soon be eclipsed. I didn't expect it at all; much less that she would enter my life as my brother's girlfriend.
The fact is, no, I didn't anticipate it, but it happened. She happened. And frankly, I'm not sure I could have stopped myself from falling in love with her if I had tried. In spite of all the grief, the searing heartache, and the hollow feeling of loss that I've been through, felt in my chest, I am glad to have let her into my life, and into my heart. If you asked me why this is, I wouldn't be able to tell you, because logically it just doesn't make sense. Survival instincts tell us to avoid what can hurt us, but I was drawn to her much like a moth to a flame. In that moment before I was engulfed in her blaze, I was blissfully warm. There was no logic, and there is still no logic. If I could be that warm again, I might risk the burn.
Chapter 1
"Are you sure you don't want me to come to the airport with you?"
"Mom, I'm seriously fine." I said for the fifth time.
"It's really not a problem, I can push back my appointment…"
"How many times has Glen done this by himself?"
"You're my little girl, Spencer. And you're going off to somewhere you've never been before for the whole summer. It's a big deal." She insisted, putting her hands on my shoulders.
"Yes, mom, I know. But it's South Carolina… and a service trip. I'm pretty sure that your Jesus people aren't going to kill me," to which she scoffed, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. And I'm telling you I'm going to be fine. Glen's already there, he'll meet me at the airport and bring me to the house" my mother held her breath, "it's all going to be fine, I promise."
"But you're also taking classes at that school – I don't know the people there, and" I cut her off.
"Mom. You're never going to know all the people everywhere I go. I'm just trying to get some more film classes in. One more time, it's all going to be fine."
"I know. I just worry."
"I know you do."
"I'm going to miss you, Spence." She exhaled.
"You too, Mom." She embraced me in a tight hug. I knew this was difficult for her. I was her one and only daughter, also her youngest, leaving the nest to go off to South Carolina for the summer. I had lived at home my whole life.
"Don't change too much on me." She said, still holding me tight.
"I'll try not to," I laughed.
After we had said our goodbyes, tearful on her part, I descended the stairs and took a step out into the thick humidity. As much as I looked forward to open air and maybe the chance to glimpse a star not eclipsed by the city lights, I was going to miss it here. I stepped to the curb and put my hand out decidedly, hailing a cab. I hopped in, gave my destination, and I was off. I watched New York City roll by, noting all of the places I knew I would miss. Tears filled my eyes and I chose then to focus my blurry vision on the red numbers, cost specifically, that grew exponentially by the minute.
It wasn't that I didn't want to go – I did – but I was going to miss it here: my mom and dad, my friends, my life. I knew it was only the summer, but I couldn't help but feel that something was going to change while I was away, that my life might never be exactly the same. I couldn't explain the feeling, and as much as I hated to admit it, maybe my mom was right. Maybe it was a big deal. I was excited by the prospect of something totally new, but I was admittedly a little bit terrified. I couldn't decide whether having Glen there should be of consolation or apprehension.
I plugged my headphones into my ears and listened to some music, hoping that it would drown out the mental noise of my anticipation.
The entire experience of flying alone was a pleasant one: security was easy enough to pass through, I boarded right on time, and I slept for most of my flight to Charleston.
"Glen, it's Spencer. Pick up your phone. I am in Charleston, where I know no one, and I'm by myself. You were supposed to be here when I landed. I don't even know where we're going so I can't call a cab. If mom knew you weren't here, she'd probably actually kill you. Don't make me think about telling her." I paused and took a breath. "Please just call me." I hung up the phone, and sank onto a bench, my face falling frustratedly into my hands. Go figure, leave it to Glen to be completely irresponsible.
"Hey," I heard an unfamiliar voice behind me. I turned and faced the stranger, a boy of around my age, with a strong jaw-line. Blue eyes peered out from beneath dark eyebrows. His jet-black hair fell softly onto his bronzed face, and using a gentle finger, he pushed the mess from his eyes. My mouth opened to say something, but I couldn't muster a word. Thankfully, he spoke again, "I really don't want to sound like a creep, but I couldn't help but hear you. Were you talking to Glen Carlin, by any chance?"
"Uh, yeah. I was. You know him?"
"Actually, yeah. You're his little sister, Spencer, right?"
"Yes. How do you know this?" For a moment my mind flickered to the pepper spray in my bag in case of emergency.
"Well I'm actually in the program with him. And you, I guess. I live in the same house as you guys. Glen said he was going to pick you up this evening, but, uh… well, he couldn't for various reasons." His eyes darted to the ground; he was hiding something.
"Why couldn't he come? And why didn't he call?"
"Well… Wednesday nights are kind of… uh…" He stammered.
"Are what?"
"Party nights" he sighed, "He told me he wasn't going to drink tonight because he had to come and get you, but when I got back today he was already at least 6 beers in. I didn't want him driving out here, so at the risk of coming off as a totally creepy stranger offering you a ride, I decided to come get you." I scoffed, how like Glen. I couldn't wait to yell at him in the morning. I looked forward to it with a little more malice than I cared to admit.
"Well thank you for covering my irresponsible brother…" It suddenly occurred to me that I didn't know his name.
"Aiden," he said offering his hand.
"Spencer," I shook it, "but you already knew that." I laughed, and so did he. It was a genuine laugh, and his eyes smiled.
"Yeah, I really didn't want to seem creepy, but there was no graceful way of getting a hold of you." He laughed again. I decided that I liked his laugh. "Give me a chance to redeem myself?" He said, beginning to walk towards the door.
"Eh, I guess so." I joked. He flashed me a smile, holding the door open for me.
The ride to Seabrook consisted of us sharing life stories in a nutshell. I told him of my life in New York, my friends, and how I wanted to take a film class at the local community college while doing Habitat for Humanity. He told me about his life here, how he had worked with Habitat for Humanity every summer since he was twelve, how he liked meeting the new groups of people every year. His face lit up when he talked about this year's crew, apparently a good one. We talked about Glen, who he seemed to like, despite his generally poor life decisions, and how even though Glen was here for the partying, he still put good work into building the homes.
I watched the scenery grow more rural, with picket fences and tropical looking plants rolling by, illuminated beneath the orangey street lights. Soon I noted the 'Welcome to Seabrook Sign,' growing increasingly accustomed to the salty air. We turned onto a poorly paved road, shaded by a canopy of tall foliage. I imagined that the road must be pretty dark even in the light of day. Aiden stopped the car in front of a brown house composed of wooden shingles. It looked as if it might fall apart within the next month, but I wasn't here to stay in the Ritz, so I just made a note to go easy on the place – not to make too many sudden movements that might cause it to topple.
"Welcome to the house. Almost all the houses on this street are owned by Habitat for Humanity, so most of the residents are more kids like us. It's actually pretty fun to live around here."
"Yeah I can imagine." I said quietly, taking it all in. While my back was turned, Aiden grabbed all of my bags and slung them over his muscular shoulder. "Hey! I can take those." I argued.
"You can carry this one." He threw me my handbag. "I'm not sure that I'm fit enough to carry that one all the way to the door, so I'll leave that to you, muscles."
"Hey!" I punched him lightly on the arm. I remarked upon how at ease I was, after knowing him for no more than a couple hours.
We walked together up the stairs, and even with my bags in tow, he managed to hold the screen door open for me. I decided then, that southern boys were already better than New Yorkers. I walked through the door and my eardrums thudded with the intense bass of the loud music.
"Spencer!" My name, drunkenly slurred, boomed from behind me, and before I could even turn, some unknown guy was wrapped around me in a hug. He smelled strongly of shitty beer, and I shot a skeptical glance at Aiden, who immediately stepped in.
"Easy, Emory." Aiden spoke, peeling the boy from me. "Yes, this is Spencer." He turned to me. "They're really excited, you see, you're our only girl in the house." Seeing my suddenly anxious look, he added, "Don't worry, Glen has told us all that unfortunately, none of us can hook up with you. Isn't that right, Emory?"
I couldn't even pay attention to Emory's response, for I had locked on to Aiden's use of 'unfortunately.' Did that mean he wished he could hook up with me? I tried not to read too far into it. Still, I couldn't help but ponder how I felt about it: the confusing part was, I didn't even know. Was I happy? Did I feel excitement at that? I mean, Aiden was really not bad to look at.
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Emory." I said, shaking his clammy palm. Before I could be attacked by any of the other inebriated guys or girls partying in the background, I quickly asked, "Where's my room? I'd like to put some of my stuff down if that's alright."
"Of course," Aiden answered. "Right this way." He led me up the numerous flights of stairs, passing many doors, all the way to the attic. I guess I must have looked skeptical, because he said, "Don't worry, it's not a typical attic, it's actually a finished bedroom, the only one with a bathroom attached. Probably with the best air conditioning in the house, actually." I smiled, a little reassured. "We decided to give you the tower, since you're the princess of the house." I laughed.
"And I guess all the princes get to sleep below."
"Oh, don't be generous. We're more like jesters." I chuckled with him. He turned the doorknob slowly, then pushed it open.
"Spencer?" Glen was spread eagled across my bed, with nothing but his boxers on.
"Ew, Glen!" I squealed, "Cover up, and what are you doing in here? I thought this was my room." Glen took the blankets of my bed and wrapped them around him.
"It is… w-wait," He stuttered, "how did you get here?"
"Aiden picked me up from the airport, no thanks to you." I spat. "Now, what are you doing in here? And undressed?" He suddenly burst into breathless laughter. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen Glen this drunk. Then again, this made sense because I did tend to stay away from him in most social situations.
"This is awkward" He laughed, barely able to get the words out. "It's a long story, but," He was interrupted by a noise from the bathroom – and not just any noise – it was gagging.
"Who is in there?"
"My girlfriend." Glen said proudly.
"Wait, you have a girlfriend?" He opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, I continued, "And you're just sitting here, while she's alone and sick in there?"
"It's really gross!" Glen exclaimed.
"Honestly, Glen. What the hell?" I said, dropping my handbag, and turning to grab the others from Aiden, the innocent bystander. "Could you take him downstairs?" I whispered, "I'll take care of this in here. Just get him out of here." Aiden nodded.
"Are you sure? I can help up here."
"It's really fine. I'm just afraid I'm going to punch Glen if I can't get him out of my sight." I smiled, but I wasn't kidding. I hoped he didn't know that.
"Okay" he said, moving into the room. "Glen, I think Emory's been looking for you, he needs a pong partner and everyone knows you're the best." I admired his tactics – playing to Glen's ego. Already he knew Glen well.
Glen rose immediately, grabbing his shirt and throwing it over his head as he and Aiden made for the door. "Let me know if you need anything." Aiden whispered in my direction.
"Will do, thanks." He closed the door behind him, and immediately I went to work. Pulling my hair back into a ponytail, I entered the bathroom where on the floor was a crumpled up girl. Her head shot around to look at me, but it looked as if she regretted moving so fast, and her hand immediately clutched the side of her face. Her curly reddish-brown hair was somewhat dabbled in vomit, her dark eye makeup having smeared to at least an inch below her eyes. Needless to say, she had seen better days.
"Are you a doctor?" She asked me.
"No, I'm Spencer. I'm Glen's sister." I said, kneeling beside her on the white tile floor.
"Okay good, because I don't need one." She smiled widely. "I am totally fine. Like really, I'm totally 100% fine. Just f -" She stopped mid word, gagged, and threw her head into the toilet bowl, clutching both sides for support.
"It's okay, it's okay." I said, moving closer. As much as it sickened me, I ran my fingers through her hair, pulling it back into an extra hair-tie I had on my wrist, making a mental note that I did not want that one back. I stroked her tanned back gently while she threw up her guts. Her black tank top was wet with something, and her jeans likewise had wet patches. She continued to intermittently spew for something like the next 20 minutes, and then she seemed to almost fall asleep over the toilet bowl. I waited for a couple minutes to see that she was done puking, and then I decided to wake her - I couldn't imagine that she wanted to sleep here over the toilet.
"Hey," I gently took hold of her shoulder. "Hey, can you wake up for me?"
"I'm awake." She whispered.
"Okay, well let's try to get you up off the floor so we can get you somewhere to sleep. Can you sit up for me?" I spoke in the kindest voice I could muster. She slowly lifted her head from the toilet and looked at me.
"Have we met?" She smiled. I had to admire the fact that she was smiling; despite the fact that she had just been spilling her insides for God only knows how long.
"I'm Spencer, Glen's sister." I said, internally chuckling at the fact that I had to repeat myself.
"Oh! Glen's sister! You're cuter than he let on!" She yelled. I giggled, feeling almost as if I wanted to blush. "I'm Ashley, and I want to sleep in my own bed." She paused, holding a finger up as if to note something important. "And you're welcome to join me, if you want to." I laughed a little more.
"Thank you for the offer, but I think maybe you should sleep here, just because I'm not sure that we're going to be able to get you to anywhere else."
"Please? Please, please, please? I really want to sleep in myyyyyyyyy bed." She said, emphasis on the 'my.' "I live right next door. It will be so easy! Watch, I can even get up and walk myself. Ready? Watch!" Putting her feet beneath her, she pushed off the ground quickly, and lost her balance just as fast. Thankfully I rose quickly to catch her. Much to my dismay, my own clothes were now speckled with throw-up, given that it covered most of her front side.
"Okay, maybe we'll try to get you to your bed, but first we have to get you cleaned off." I looked around. "Here, I'll turn the shower on, and I'll turn around and you can get undressed, put on one of my bikinis, and step in. Put your clothes in this trashcan here – we can wash them later. You can borrow some of mine for now."
"Okay" she nodded eagerly. "But!" she exclaimed. "You can watch me get undressed if you want to." I laughed again, but this time it was more of a nervous reaction, as I didn't quite know what to make of her.
"That's okay." I said, turning on the water. "Give me one second and I'll grab a bathing suit." I left the room and dug through my duffel until I found a bikini, and my toiletries. When I returned, she was leaning against the white counter just as I had left her. "Just go ahead, and once you're in and you've got the bathing suit on, I'll help you wash your hair." She did as I asked, and about a minute later, she screamed,
"I'm in!" triumphantly. I chuckled again, and moved towards the shower, shampoo bottle in hand. "Peek-a-boo!" She yelled as I pulled the curtain open. She erupted in a peal of laughter at herself. I helped her to rinse her hair out, then I applied the shampoo and then the conditioner. I tried not to, but I couldn't help looking at her body. The girl was deeply bronzed from head to toe, and her body was flawless: perfect little arms, chiseled abs, and an adorable butt. Rather than focus on the fact that I was analyzing her body, I let myself become infuriated at Glen. How could he have let this happen? Firstly, how could he let her get this drunk? Secondly, how could he leave her in here like this? I was fuming. "Can you wash my face too? I think my makeup is a little smeared." I agreed, grabbing a facecloth, dabbling it in a little eye-makeup remover, and rubbing her cheeks gently.
"I can wash you too if you want." She said, trying to pry the wash cloth from my hand.
"That's nice of you, but I'm fine." I laughed. "I didn't puke on myself tonight."
"Right, right." She agreed.
Soon she was clean, and I grabbed my Beatles 'Abbey Road' t-shirt and some shorts for her.
"Thank you for bathing me." She said. "You know, we've been through an awful lot together, given that I've only known you for a little over an hour."
"Yes," I smiled, "I'd say you're right."
"Good. Now let's go sleep in my bed."
"Okay, we'll try to get you there." I escorted her carefully out the door and down the stairs, her arm over my shoulder so that she could use me as a crutch. This house was not designed for drunken conquests. Finally I made it to the front door, and we were successfully out in the cool night. "Okay, neighbor on the left, or the right?"
"Right." She said. I turned us to the right, and she corrected herself, "I meant left. Sorry."
"It's okay." I reassured her. When we were at the doorstep, I verified that this was, in fact, the house, and she affirmed. We climbed the stairs, through the door, snuck past the party on the first floor, up to the second floor where she told me to go through the second door. We entered a fairly bland room without much decoration, but she had put some of her own things up. Picture frames lined her bedside tables, containing pictures of her and various friends. I sat her down on the bed, whose soft mattress sunk beneath her weight.
"Tuck me in?" She asked. I nodded, and peeled back the unmade comforter and sheets, pulling them back up over her little body.
"Are you alright now? Do you need anything else?"
"No, but wait, are you leaving?" She implored, looking up at me with doe eyes.
"I was going to go back to my room and go to sleep."
"Why don't you just sleep here?"
"I don't know." I replied. In a way I couldn't explain, part of me kind of wanted to.
"Please? I don't want to be alone tonight." I knew then that I couldn't say no.
"I guess I can." I replied.
"Yay! Sleepover!" She shouted, scooting her body over to the other side of the bed. She patted the side near me. I sat down and then reclined, pulling the blankets over me, then eventually clicked the lamp off.
My body faced the door, away from her and I curled into a comfortable position. My eyes were closed for just a moment when she spoke again. "One more thing." I turned my head, and before I could even look at her, she pecked my cheek with a kiss. "Thanks for everything tonight." I could feel myself blushing. Why was I blushing?
"You're welcome." I replied quietly. I immediately sunk into deep thought about this crazy day. First the flight, then Glen not being there, then Aiden, then Glen again, then Aiden being so sweet, then Ashley. Oh Ashley. Why was I even here? I shouldn't be sleeping in her bed. I justified it with the possibility of her being sick again, even though I secretly knew she was done. What a strange way to meet your brother's girlfriend, I thought. I didn't even know if she'd remember this in the morning – if she'd remember me. I immediately planned to be out early, so that when she woke up I wouldn't be here.
"Okay I'm sorry, one last thing. I'm so sorry." She said remorsefully.
"Yes?"
"Can I sleep closer to you? I'm cold and I think I just have the shakes from getting sick."
"Uh, yeah, sure." I replied, trying not to sound uncomfortable. Why was I uncomfortable? This wasn't that weird, was it?
"Thanks" She replied. She inched her way over to my side of the bed and threw her arm over my side, tightly hugging my middle. She pressed her shivering body against mine, and her face into my shoulder. Feeling a sudden and inexplicable protective need to quell her shivers, I pushed myself back into her, my back against her front, the bottoms of my legs against the tops of hers, our feet gently touching, getting as close as possible. For whatever reason, it was as if every part of me she touched ignited in small tingling flames. I chalked it up to the possibility that I was cold too.
"Okay, one more thing," she whispered, her warm breath tickling the nape of my neck. "Goodnight, Spencer."
"Goodnight, Ashley." I whispered back. I could feel a smile creeping onto my face -I liked that she remembered my name, but once again, I couldn't figure out why. Tired of not understanding my own feelings, I let myself begin to slip away, sure that clarity would find me when I wasn't so boggled by the chaotic montage of today's events. Regardless of right now, what happened tonight, or even what would happen tomorrow, I had this feeling of certainty that this night was the start of something new. I felt a shift, a pull. A feeling of excitement flared up in my chest and I couldn't fathom why. I couldn't tell you what was coming, but I had a positive feeling – an intuition – that somehow, I was going to have to disobey my mom. Something in me was bound to change.