I do not own X-Men or any Marvel-related properties.

Slight spoilers for X-23 #3

A/N: This is just a short story idea that popped into my head. Since I have writers block with my other two stories, maybe this will get the creative juices flowing again. It deals with how Julian and Laura deal with the latter leaving to go find herself and how they resolve to carry on without each other.

Dear Julian

The sun rose in the east in a familiar gold and red hue that had graced Utopia and San Francisco the last few weeks. Its warmth bathed Julian Keller, Hellion, in a soft embrace, telling his body to awake. His eyes began to twitch until the bright light pierced through between their lids. He winced, only to blink, and let more light into his body. He began to raise himself, finding it harder that morning than usual. It was not because some machine had taken his hands during the final battle of the Messiah War. No, something much more dear to him had been taken from him last night. He knew Laura had come by, but not that she had left.

He sat up in bed and moved to brush the mess of hair in his face away. He mentally scolded himself when he realized, yet again, his hands were gone. Despite him developing his telekinesis to substitute for his hands, it still pissed him off that he could no longer hold a pizza, open a door simply… or brush a stray leaf out of a girl's hair.

He stared at his door, longingly. Laura had come to visit him last night, much like she had before going on that suicide mission to save them all. When she came to see him last night, his gut told him it was going to be important. He had made sure he was awake and eagerly waited for her to rustle him out of bed to tell him he needed to be more careful about leaving his room insecure, or something. He felt her with his telekinesis when she entered his room. She was barely a yard away, yet she had said nothing. She simply left, without a word.

The thought dawned on him right then that maybe he should have said something to her before she left, instead of pretending to sleep. He felt stupid all of a sudden. His best friend had come to talk to him, yet he blew her off. Hell, she probably knew he was awake, too. Some friend he was.

For all Julian knew, she needed someone to vent to. Being ostracized by many due to her involvement with X-Force, nightmares that she was having, that explosion she was just in, and trying to find a place to belong, it had all been weighing heavy on her. It pissed him off that their friends treated her so poorly. Especially Nori. Julian had a hunch as to why she did it: keep them all safe, she knew nothing else, and other reasons that compounded those. It made him feel even better that he stood up for her.

That was not enough for him at that moment though. He needed to find Laura and really talk with her. He missed that opportunity last night, but he would make up for it. Of that he was sure.

Julian rolled himself out of bed, showered quickly, dressed, and made his way to the usual places he could count on finding Laura. He started with the infirmary, figuring Doctor Nemesis would still want to make sure she was alright, despite her healing factor. That was another thing grinded on Julian; that people seemed to think once Laura healed physically she was fine in every aspect. Just like everyone was treating him like a cripple, now that he had no hands. He still had his damn telekinesis, but people just saw the fact that he had no hands. He was more than his injury, but no, people saw a traumatized little boy.

Laura did not treat him like that though. She was great like that. Julian allowed himself a smile, glad that someone, especially her, still treated him like she did before his injury.

It seemed Dr. Nemesis had discharged Laura not long after Julian was sent on his way after the incident with Wolverine. No matter, Julian moved on to the next place she ought to have been. The nightmares she was having had driven her to start sleeping under the stars. He found the patch of grass between the trees where she had taken up roost. All there was to greet him was thousands of blades of grass. Her impression in the grass had practically disappeared.

Well, she's usually up before I am, Julian deduced. He went to the open-air market next. Many of the island's residents were still having breakfast and would come for the farmed goods grown on the island. A quick scan of the market and Julian did not find Laura. He pushed through the crowd and bumped roughly into a solid mass, bruising his shoulder.

"Ouch! Watch it, you moron!" Julian growled, turning to see who was unfortunate enough to bumped shoulders with him.

"Dude, sorry. Geez, you wake up on the wrong side of X this morning?" It was Santo Vacarro, his friend, aka Rockslide. Solid man of stone. Smart-ass.

"Shut up, Santo. And no. Don't suppose you've seen her, have you?" Julian asked, frustrated.

"Nope. Lost your girlfriend again, huh?" Santo ribbed Julian some more, laughing jollily.

Julian growled again, "She's not my girlfriend!"

"Sure, whatever you say. I see you checking her out," Santo continued to laugh lightly.

"I'm a guy, of course I-"

"HA! He admitted it! Hey, everyone! Julian likes checking ou-!" before Santo could finish his sentence he felt himself lifted off the ground and enveloped in a green glow. Before he could object, Julian hurled him out toward the bay. Santo would survive the fall, and get back to the island quickly. Such was the beauty of living through stone golems.

Everyone in the immediate vicinity stared at Julian, taken aback. He left the market without a word, knowing he'd likely get a talking to from one of the higher ups in a few hours. He needed to find Laura.

The next obvious place she would be was her room, but even there he had no success. He tried the island's danger room next, nothing. He then checked with the port to see if she took a trip to the mainland, but they said there was no record of her taking one of their boats. They said she may have taken one of the ferries that now gave limited service to Utopia. That was not like her though.

Julian checked with Pixie next, thinking Laura might have had her teleport her somewhere. Pixie told him she had not. Bitterly, she said Magik had not either. It seemed there were still issues between those two. Julian could not blame Pixie though.

Julian tried the Stepford Cuckoos next. When they told him they did not detect her on the island or in San Francisco, he became worried. His only choice was to go to the one person who might know where she was besides Logan.

Julian stood outside of Utopia's command center and entered without waiting for permission. As he hoped, Cyclops, Emma Frost, Storm, Magneto and other higher ups were present. Everyone's gaze pierced Julian. He did not care what meeting he just interrupted, Laura's whereabouts were his only concern.

Magneto, one of his idols, was the first to speak, "There is a meeting in progress, young man."

Magneto gave Julian nothing but contempt and patronization. It was this high-and-mighty demeanor that Julian had grown to hate in a lot of people, mainly because he saw his former self in them. With Magneto though, Julian could not hold it against him. This was a man he respected, who he would have followed as a disciple at some point. If given the opportunity, he still might.

Emma Frost was the next to speak, "Yes, quite. Wait your turn Julian. We will discuss your using Rockslide as a skipping stone later."

Julian collected himself and sternly said, "No. I have a question, and I want a straight answer."

Magneto rubbed his eyes, "No respect, no humility… boy, you best start learning your station in life."

While intimidated, Julian made a point to not show it in the slightest. Laura was nowhere to be found and no one seemed to know where she was. He was going to get his answers.

"Someone tell me where Laura is. Now," Julian's body began to glow green. Everyone exchanged looks of uncertainty before looking away from each other down at the conference table, "Well?"

"Best you tell the boy, Scott. Before he embarrasses himself further," Magneto droned. Julian was about to round on him when Cyclops intervened.

"Julian,if you want answers, you will calm yourself." Cyclops said sternly. Julian glared at him, but relented for the sake of getting some answers. They all exchanged uneasy looks again, "She's left the island."

"What do you mean, she's left the island? Why are you all looking at each other like that?" Julian pressed for answers, wanting them faster than they were being dispensed.

Cyclops looked up and stared at Julian for a bit before saying, "Storm?"

Storm stood up and walked over to Julian, "Come with me, I will explain."

Julian was not sure if he should have been worried even more. All he knew was that he was not going to like the answer he was about to get.

Storm and Julian flew to her garden. Besides the small farms on the island, this was her private sanctuary. Her gardens were always filled with the most exotic of flora. There was a small stream that she had irrigated to flow through the entire garden, adding to the Zen atmosphere. Julian spied a chess board on a bench off to the side. A game had been started and left in medias res. Everyone loved Storm's gardens. In one way or another, they appealed to a person's need for peace and serenity. She led them to the chess board and offered him a seat.

"Can I get you anything, Julian?" Storm asked him. Julian kindly refused.

He decided to take a calmer tone with Storm, "Please…just tell me where Laura is."

Storm nodded, understanding his desire, "You really care about her, don't you?"

The question was one Julian had dealt with before. Although, the question was often asked in a more inflammatory manner by Santo or Nori.

"Yes, very much," Julian answered. It felt weird to vocalize it. "Please, I need to know."

Storm nodded and solemn explained Laura's situation, "Something has changed inside of Laura, Julian. I don't know if has anything to do with that explosion she was in a few days ago, or her involvement with X-Force. Whatever the case, she no longer felt she belonged here. She said she needed to go find out who she was before someone starts trying to tell her again."

Julian felt his stomach begin to roll into knots. His jaw began to quiver. He bit back the urge to lash out. He respected Storm too much than to do that in front of her in her garden, "But, she… I… we… she saved us and they… fuck them, she deserves to be here more than most on this island. We should have… I…"

"She does indeed deserve to be here, but she does not feel like she belongs, Julian. She is not the only one who has felt that way," Storm further impressed that point upon him, remembering Beast's departure.

Julian was at a loss for words. Storm placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. She had not realized there was someone on the island who had felt this strongly for Laura. It was good to see, yet tragic as well.

"You love her, don't you," Storm inferred. Julian looked at her, uncertain of what to say. He had never seriously thought about it from that kind of perspective. But he and Laura always were close or really far apart. He found himself thinking about her, a lot. She said she missed him even.

"She's my best friend."

Storm's expression saddened, "I thought as much."

"She's not coming back, is she?" Julian sighed. He realized that when she visited last night, it was just like the time she visited him before she went on that suicide mission. She had not planned on coming back from that mission. Perhaps that was true here, too.

"Not for awhile, no," Storm answered, "But do not give up hope, child. She said this may be her home again, but not until she finds what she's looking for."

Julian let his eyes wander over the many flowers and the little streams, processing all that he had just learned. Laura was gone. For the first time it was not because someone had ordered her to go, not because she was going on some mission for someone else, she had left because she wanted to. He had just realized how much he cared about her and now they were further apart than ever. They could not even talk about them. He knew that she had feelings for him too. She was no good with words, but there were other ways of telling. He needed to be alone, and the last thing he wanted was someone pitying the state of his life.

"Thanks for telling me," Julian said. He got up and made to leave Storm to her garden.

"If you truly love her, Julian, you won't go after her. You will find a way to keep living your life while she does the same," Storm advised. Julian turned back to her, jaw hanging.

"What would you know about it?" Julian asked seething. How dare she try to understand what he was going through?

"I know what you're going through at this very moment, Julian Keller, because the one I love is trying to discover who he is too," Storm explained, before Julian could slip in a smart-ass comment about T'Challa having a mid-life crisis of sorts, she continued to speak, "My husband has lost his kingdom, his home. His position as their protector now is held by another. Now he is in Hell's Kitchen, trying to discover who he is without the crown, without Wakanda. Since Daredevil's fall, he has taken over protecting that part of New York."

Julian continued to hold his tongue. What Storm was telling him was completely out of left field.

"I know he needs to face this chapter of his life alone. But that does not mean I will not be there if he ever needs me," Storm continued, "We both know right now we are where we need to be. I'm here where my people need me, and he is where he feels he is needed. Never would we let that diminish the love we have for one another."

Julian considered her words, but the need to be alone still clawed at every fiber of his being.

"Thank you, Storm. I…I hope your husband finds what he is looking for," Julian said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Thank you, Julian. For what it's worth, Laura will be fine, wherever her journey leads her," Storm tried to assure him.

"I hope so. I swear to God, I hope so," Julian left Storm to her garden. One question answered sprung forth many more. But Julian was nowhere further in his own life than he was before. He was still lost, trying to find his way with the new circumstances presented to him. While everyone was ushering in a new era of peace for mutantkind, he was ushering in one crazy life to take the place of another.

He dropped by Laura's room one more time. He did not bother using the front door; he flew in through her window and just took a few minutes. He already missed her sorely and needed something to hold onto. He never had seen her room before, but it came as no surprise that it was relatively plain. That was Laura; low-maintenance, only the bare essentials. He allowed himself a smile. Somehow, in his gut Julian knew that she would be back someday. He needed to believe that from then on whenever he thought about her.

Julian made his way back to his room still sorting through all that he had just dealt with. The danger room sounded pretty good right then. What better way to let off some steam than to wreck a bunch of things. He was about to dress down in his workout attire when he saw a folded piece of paper in the crack of his door. He snagged it with his telekinesis and saw it simply titled "To Julian".

Julian unfolded the letter and a photo fell out. It was a photograph of Laura. Immediately he read the letter.

Dear Julian,

I wish I could have done this in person, but you know I am no good with words. As you may already know, I have left Utopia. I do not know how long I will be gone or where I am going, but I need to get away from where everyone thinks they know me better than I do. Do not worry, I have hope. I have hope that I will find what I am looking for, that I will learn who I am.

I want to find my own way. I need to discover who I am when I am not taking orders or around familiar surroundings. I used to kill because I was ordered to, because I wanted to protect what I care about. I am known only as a killer. I need to find out what else I am; who I truly am. When I find this, I might return.

I want you to know that you are my best friend and hope you do not hate me because I left. What I am about to ask of you is only more difficult because you are my best friend. I must ask that you do not follow me. But know if I ever need you, you will know. I do not understand the nature of the feelings we have, but I promise when I return we will discuss them if you still wish to.

My time in X-Force, I did it because I believed believe that you, our friends, the other X-Men are worth dying for. I did it for all of you so you could live. So, I also ask of you, Julian, to live.

I miss you.

-Laura

P.S. Keep your room secure. Train well, just in case.

Julian stood there reading the letter over and over until he could see the tiny imperfections in the paper. There were dried water drops here and there. Tears… Julian could feel some of his own coming. A few slipped out before he bit the rest back. She would not want him sitting there moping. No, not at all.

The morning sun had not reached its zenith yet. It was still the beginning of a brand new day. Julian could have told himself that this was the first day of the rest of his life, but he never bought into that fairy tale ideal. For him it was more like life had dealt him bad hand after bad hand. He could quit right now or ante up and get back into the game. The latter was more his style. It was his only choice.

He put the letter in is nightstand and pinned the photo on his mirror.

Julian took another look at what his life had become. This was a new chapter for mutantkind alright. There was an optimism not felt in years. Despite everything, he was not going to let a few bad cards dealt his way be the end all, be all. He only had one choice and he could look at it with a smile now.

Julian was ready to keep on living.

Tell me what you think. I might do one more chapter following Laura right after she leaves Utopia.