I wanted to try writing a fic after Allies. Also, I don't think I have never seen a Star Wars fic ever written in 1st person, so I decided to try it. It works better in my story that way, or at least I think so. Should I continue? I do have a plot thought up of, but I wanted to see what people think first.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing related of or to Star Wars.
As Vestara and I walked back toward Jade Shadow, I wondered why the Sith, and Vestara's father in particular, had not challenged my father of Vestara's freedom. I wished they had. I would have rather taken a battle with the Sith than having her playing on my growing affections for her. And now, I reflected as I was carrying Dyon with Vestara right next to him, I had to treat her wounds and watch over her back at the Shadow. The worst thing that she had left me feeling, the thing that had rattled me to the very core, was the feeling I had felt from her as I was leaving her behind to go help my father before I had shut her out, the feeling of pain and resolution mixed with regret at the fact that she had hurt me deeply. She regretted doing it, and as a Jedi I was supposed to forgive anyway- after all I had even forgiven Jacen - and I supposed I could, but one thing I wasn't sure I could ever give her was my trust, as I wouldn't be able to do with any Sith. I used to think there was a chance before she tried to trick me into letting my father be killed by her father, but now I just wasn't sure.
"Ben, where are you going? The Shadow is right here," Vestara called to me.
I only just now realized I had been walking past it while I was thinking. "Oh. Yeah." I stepped back and input the access codes into the Shadow. We walked up the ramp and through the corridors of the ship in an awkward silence. Thankfully, it was disturbed when Dyon stirred from my arms.
"Mmmf," Dyon groaned.
Vestara and I exchanged glances when he stirred. I saw the pain in her eyes as she was clutching her stomach and I looked away. Gotta stay focused. She's a Sith. She's a Sith. I got to remember she's evil. I kept repeating those words to myself, even though they even sounded hollow in my own thoughts.
We arrived at the sick bay and I sat Dyon down in a bed. Vestara sat down on the bed next to him. I hooked Dyon into an IV and walked over to a cupboard to get some bandages for Vestara. Attempting to break the once again awkward silence between them, Vestara said, "Guess you're getting used to doing this now, huh?" and attempted a weak laugh.
I wouldn't be trapped though. I just ignored her comment and continued rummaging through the cupboards. She sighed very softly, thinking I wouldn't hear it, but I just barely did. I tried to draw some satisfaction from hurting her, but I couldn't. I didn't like hurting her, and I knew it.
After I had gathered all the materials on the table, I put the bandage in the vial with the bacta and let it soak for a couple minutes. I removed it and handed them to Vestara. There was no telling what would happen if I put the bandages on her. I did not just think that!
She put them on and sealed them up. She winced as the cool bandages hit her. I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from wincing with her. What was wrong with me? Since when did I start caring about her so much whenever she's hurt or in danger? Oh. That's right. Since I met her.
She finished tying the bandages on herself and looked at me expectantly. I took in a deep breath and said, "I'll be right back. I'm going to go tell Jaina and Lando their orders." The calmness of my voice surprised me. Then I left.
As I was walking to the cockpit, I wondered why she let me sense her hurt. She had been open with her feelings before because she used them against me. But now… why would she still use them? She obviously must realize I knew she didn't like me. I did not see any real reason to continue to use them since she had already tried to perpetrate her deception. But maybe... I had no more time to ponder this further as I flipped open a channel to Jaina and Lando.
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