HAPPY WHEELS

Hello, I am a dad. I have a failure son who always rides my bike with me. We always get into bad situations together. I always wish I hadn't gotten married to my fat failure wife and had that annoying faliure son. Well, There is my bio. Sad, is'nt it? Anyway, you are probably here to hear about our last adventure together, right? If you are'nt here for that, then this is your unlucky day.

I am in a 2-D world. There are tons of dangerous things here. As usual, I am on my lovely bike with my failure son riding on the back. "Dang it son! Why do you always get us into these stupid messes?"

"I don't, you do, dad."

"Shut up,son!"

"But-"

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

"Don't make me sing the song, dad."

"You wouldn't dare, son!"

"Oh yes I will, dad. Baby, baby, baby-"

"Shut up or you are dead to me!"

"Okay."

Anyway, I start going forward. A hobo with a sword starts running at me. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I pedal as fast as I can at the hobo and hit him with the front wheel of my bike in the face. He falls over, and my bike lands on his stupid hobo chest. I go forward, and as I run over his face, his head explodes. His brain hits my stupid failure son's face and lands on his lap. "Eeeew, daddy, the stupid hobo's brain hit me."

"Deal with it."

"But-"

"DEAL WITH IT!"

"But-"

"I SAID DEAL WITH IT!"

After that, a wrecking ball happens to be in our path. I pedal towards it, and ride sideways so I don't get hit by it. My son isn't so lucky, though. He gets hit by the wrecking ball head - on and explodes into millions of pieces. Finally, the failure was dead. This was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am going to drink my heart out once I get out of this mess, That's what I was thinking when I noticed that I was rolling towards a land mine.

I tried to get away, but I had too much momentum. My legs hit the landmine and blew the bottom half of my body off. Well,sort of. My intestines held on to the parts that got blown off. As thet flew away, they dragged me on the ground, past other deadly dangers. I went past an arrow gun. Now I looked like a porcupine with all of the arrows in my body. Then, I went past a sword shop. An explosion went offand sent about five swords into my body. Probably the most painful, I went into a trap that threw me between two platforms. I got TONS of internal bleeding. Last of all, the finishing blow, I got rammed into a spike wall. I instanaly died.

Well, that was my last adventure with my son. Maybe I will see you later for adventures in Hell!