Fic Title: Of things unsaid (2040 words)
Author: Moonpattern
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Grissom/Sara
Date: January 2005
Feedback: I'll take feedback
Rating: (PG mature subjects) just to be safe.
Disclaimer: ("This is not meant to be taken as true, I make no $$$ . . .")
Summary: Sara has some problems; can Grissom help her to work through them?
Dedications: Princessgrits for her constant encouragement even when I have completely given up.
"Sara, wait. Please come back so I can talk to you."
She turned around and acknowledged his request. "I said my piece, Griss."
"You did, but I didn't get a chance to say anything, please Sara."
She turned around and walked back into the office. After her confession she at least owed him that. What was I thinking? I told him he was the reason I came to Vegas. I told him that I always thought of him as more than a friend. Sara what were you thinking?
"Sara, are you listening to me?"
"Sorry, Griss, what did you say?"
"Sara, you weren't listening?"
"No. Sorry."
"I can't do this again, not here. Lets have dinner, how does that sound?"
"Shocking, but I guess that would be ok."
"Ok, when and where? Do you want this to be public or private?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean if we go out, we are bound to be seen and people will talk. We can stay in, I could cook you something."
"Its not like people don't already talk, Sara but if you prefer we could stay in and you can cook. What are you planning on cooking?"
"Something vegetarian, remember I don't eat meat."
"I remember, but I still do."
"Tough." She turned to leave. "When are we doing this?"
"Tonight? How about six? Is that good for you?"
"Sure. See ya then."
Gil Grissom sat down in his chair contemplating what he had just done. I wish she had heard me. I'm not sure I'll be able to do it again.
Sara sat gazed in the chair in front of him.
"Sara, I'm not surprised that you came to Vegas for me. I hoped that was indeed the fact when you came and then decided to stay. I also wanted to tell you that I think of you as more than a friend too. I know I said that I didn't know what to do about 'this' well now I do and I hope I'm not too late."
"Sara, are you listening to me?"
He shook his head to free it from the memory of just a few minutes ago. Things were all going to change after tonight.
Sara was a basket of nerves. She had finally taken her PEAP counsellor's advice and talked to Grissom and to her shock he wanted to discuss it further. She barely slept a wink she was so tense. She took a quick shower and began to make dinner for them. She had decided on vegetarian lasagne and garlic bread. She also made a spinach salad with feta cheese and began to chill a sparkling cider. Confident she was ahead of her game, she went to get ready.
She didn't want to seem over eager so she opted for her jeans and a simple shirt, nothing different than what she had always wore to work, but this was different; Grissom was coming to her house for dinner and to talk. The butterflies took up residence in her belly. She was nervous, more nervous than she expected. She put the finishing touches on dinner and waited for him to arrive.
Promptly at six pm the doorbell rang. She was not surprised he was on time. She opened the door to reveal a very well groomed Gil Grissom dressed in black chinos and a button down shirt. His hair was all askew, she thought it made him look sexy and mental noted to tell him later. She took his coat and led him to the table to be seated. She began to dish up the meal.
"Sara, can I help you out?"
"Nope. It's under control. I hope you like lasagne."
"Yup. It sure smells good."
"I hope it tastes good too." She laughed lightly as she passed him the food.
They ate in a comfortable silence, exchanging glances when they thought the other wasn't looking. When dinner was finished she cleared the plates and began to make some coffee.
"I thought we were going to talk, Griss."
"We are talking."
"You said you wanted to talk to me."
"I do, it's just hard."
"Take your time."
"Sara…"he began. "I don't know where to start." He paused. "When I asked you here to investigate Warrick, a small piece of me hoped you would stay and when you did I was so happy. I've done some stupid things and you got hurt because of it. My timing was so off. I miss our friendship. The one we used to have where we joked and carried on. I also wanted to tell you that I have always thought of you as more than a friend too but I've been too chicken to act on it."
"Really?"
"Really. Sara… am I too late?"
"Griss, you could never be too late."
"Do you mean that?"
"Yes. I hoped my confession from this morning would get you to react. I guess I was right."
"I was so scared I lost you when you left. You wouldn't let me speak and then you just left. I was so scared."
"I had to leave, I was going to lose it, and it was hard enough confessing what I did to you. I nearly talked myself out of doing it."
"I'm glad you didn't."
"Me too." She reached across the table and took his hand in hers.
"What now? Where is this going?"
"I'm not sure. What do you expect?"
"I'm certain of how I feel. Rather how I have felt since I met you in Boston. I have harboured you in my heart since the first time I met you. At first I thought it was just a schoolgirl crush, but when you called me and asked me to come help you out I knew it was more than that. I have tried to get over it for so long, it is destructing my life. With the help of my PEAP counsellor, I worked up enough courage to confront my feelings. It is part of my healing process. As far as what I expect, I would like to see where this goes."
"What if it doesn't go anywhere?"
"It is a chance I'm willing to take. Are you?"
"I don't want to hurt you, Sara."
"It's really to late for that. I need this in order to move on with my life, for something to be constant."
"What if I'm not what you want?"
"Stop worrying. We will be in this together. I'm sure we'll get through it and be stronger because of it."
"But Sara…"
"But what Griss, what is holding you back?"
"Lots of things. My age. My hearing. My job. Your job. What if this doesn't work, we're going to screw up the lab worse than Ecklie did."
"If we don't try this, Griss, I'm not sure I can remain in Vegas with the constant reminder of what could never be. As far as your age goes, I know how old you are and I'm more than ok with that. I love you for you not what's wrong with you. I want the whole package. You may think it is silly that I have an obsession with an antisocial entomologist who is fifteen years older than me, but I have no control over whom my heart chooses. You either tell me you want to try something with me or I walk out of your life forever and leave Vegas. This moment is all you have got there will be no next time."
Grissom was silent he rubbed her hand within his own. "Sara…….this is so hard for me……I want to try something so badly. I have for so long, but I'm so scared."
"Me too, but are you willing to be scared together, see what happens?"
"If you promise me that you will take it slow with me. I'm stubborn and I'm not too quick to accept change. If I let you in to my wall, it'll change everything; you will have to bear with me until I become comfortable with the changes. It will change my comfort zone and it will change work, the only two constants I have had for years."
"I'll do that if you promise not to shut me out again."
"I promise."
"So that's it, we are gonna try this."
"Yes, I guess so. The next setback is work, what are we gonna do about that?"
"There are no rules against fraternizing. I can't say that they won't talk, because I know better. Ecklie will have a fit. I'll have to go to the sheriff and do damage control before this leaks out to the public, make sure he knows about it so that Ecklie can't make it look worse than it is. I'll have to make arrangements for Catherine to be your immediate supervisor; your leave and such would have to go through her rather than me so that it won't be seen as favouritism."
"I understand that, Griss, but will I have to leave your shift?"
"I hope not, but it may come down to that."
"I haven't really worked with you in months and if that happens I won't ever be able to again."
"I'll talk to the sheriff. Try to convince him we will remain professional at work see if he'll let us try it out."
"Ok, when are you going to talk to him? Tonight?"
"The sooner the better, right." She nodded. He reached and placed a soft kiss on the top of her hand.
"Are we gonna tell the rest of the team?"
"After we do damage control with the sheriff. We will have to act like nothing is going on until then."
"Its nearly time to go to work, we best be going."
Gil Grissom softly knocked on the door to the sheriff's office.
"Come in."
Gil walked in on command. "Sir, could I please speak with you."
"Certainly Gil, what is it concerning? Is there something wrong?"
"It actually is about me, sir."
"You?"
"Yes. It is about me and CSI 3 Sara Sidle."
"Am I hearing you right, Gil? What is going on between you and Sidle?"
"Well, Sir….we are dating."
"You are?"
"Yes, Sir. I came to tell you face to face so you didn't hear it from the rumor mill."
"I appreciate your tact Gil. But do you think this is appropriate?"
"Sir. I do."
"What about the lab?"
"What about it? We are professionals and we will remain professional while at work. I'll make arrangements for Catherine to do her evaluations as well as approve her leave and such."
"You have really thought this through, Gil."
"Yes, I don't want to lose her."
"You really care for her?"
"Yes. I want to continue to have her on my shift as well. We will make it work, I promise."
"I know you are professional, Gil, the best we have, but one slip up and it is your ass, you hear me."
"Yes Sir. I have one more question."
"What is that, Gil?"
"Ecklie is not gonna like this one bit, what am I supposed to do about that?"
"Let me handle Conrad."
"Ok, Sir Thanks." He turned to leave.
"Gil."
"Yes."
"Make sure you are careful or there will be repercussions."
Grissom left to find Sara to tell her the news. Sara was that ecstatic that she ran to the break room to tell them all.
"Guys," Sara began. "I think we have something to tell you."
"We?"
"Yes, me and Griss."
"Grissom?"
"Yes, now shut up and listen." Sara was getting cross.
"We have decided to start dating."
"We as in you and Grissom?" Catherine asked.
"Yes, as in me and Grissom."
"When?" Nick asked.
"Just today."
"Its about time." Warrick added.
"We know, but it was all because we left things unsaid."