"There you are, Hiccup." said Stoick as his son walked into the room one morning. "How was your sleep?"

"Since when do you care about my sleep?" Hiccup asked, somewhat confused.

"Well, to tell you the truth, you overslept quite a bit," Stoick responded. "By almost an hour."

Toothless came into the room, looking very bored and a bit grumpy. Hiccup could tell why - they usually got up at about the same time to go flying.

"Sorry, bud." said Hiccup, feeling quite ashamed of himself. "I'm not sure why I was asleep- well, I guess that dream may have had something to do with it."

"A dream, for Odin's sake?" came Snotlout's voice. Hiccup looked out the window to see all of his friends standing there, looking tired. They had probably been standing there for quite some time.

"Yeah," said a very embarrassed Hiccup. "I'm sorry I kept you all waiting for so long." His friends came in the house, complaining about the wait. Astrid gave Hiccup what he had come to expect by now, a punch on the shoulder for making them wait, an then a kiss for 'everything else.' She then gave him a playful look and said, "I hope it was a good dream, at least."

"Oh, it wasn't." Hiccup said. "It was so weird. None of it made sense."

"Hiccup," Tuffnut replied, "Nothing you do when you're awake makes any sense. I'm not sure why this should be such a big deal."

"Well, I'm sure you all want to hear it," Hiccup said sarcastically, but to his surprise, they all seemed a little interested. Even Stoick and Toothless seemed curious as to what went on in this nonsensical dream of Hiccup's.

"Come on guys," Hiccup pleaded. "You really don't want to hear this. It made so little sense!" But they persisted and persisted until Hiccup, feeling rather foolish, began to recall his dream.

"First of all, it was five years in the future.."

"Why would you dream about that?" asked Snotlout. Astrid punched him and told Hiccup to continue.

"So, we were having these dragon racing events. It was a sport that had become popular by that time."

'Dragon racing as a sport,' thought Stoick. 'I might look into that'.

"But the weird thing was, we were using the sheep as balls. We were launching them and grabbing them an putting them in baskets for points."

Astrid wasn't sure she heard that right. "Hiccup, you know more about human-animal bonds than anyone, why would you even allow the sheep to get treated like that. That's just animal cruelty."

"Believe me," said Hiccup, "That's just one of many weird things about this dream. So anyway, I'm not participating in the race."

Fishlegs perked up. "Fighting for sheep justice?"

"No," said Hiccup. "You see, Dad had just told me that it was time for me to become chief."

Stoick looked uncertain. "In just five years time? How responsible is this 'older you' anyway?"

"Well, I'm off with Toothless exploring areas beyond Berk and adding to this map I'm making. But I'm also off making new things. Like, there's this gliding suit, that lets me fly alongside Toothless…"

Everybody gave him a weird look on that one, and it was Stoick who verbalized what everyone was thinking. "Son," he said "How did it get to a point where riding a Night Fury wasn't good enough for you?"

Hiccup lowered his head in shame and embarrassment. "I have no idea. This is a dream, remember. And that's not the weirdest thing that happens. For example, I'm older now, an I've got a strong build, and I've become very good looking."

"You're not already?" asked Astrid, giving him another kiss.

"Well, the weird thing was even though I looked so much older, I still had the same voice I have now."

Everybody tried to imagine a tall, muscular Hiccup speaking in his old scrawny voice and immediately burst into laughter. Now everybody was really curious as to where the dream was going to go.

"So, Toothess and I land somewhere, we mess around a little bit. Then Astrid finds me, don't ask how, and then we talk for a little bit. But then we see this smoke off in the distance and we rush over to it, an there's this dragon-trapper guy who says he's working for a man named Drago…" He turned to his dad, "Have you heard of this guy?"

"How should I?" Asked Stoick. "Isn't this supposed to be a dream?"

"Just making sure," Hiccup said. "Because when I go back to get you, you have heard of him, and you start preparing for war."

"War again?" asked Stoick. "Just five years after the last one ended? This 'Drago' must have done something pretty bad."

"Well, that's where it gets confusing. Because apparently tis guy met with you and a bunch of other Viking leaders back when the war was still going on. He said he could protect you from the dragons if you let him rule you. Or something like that. So you refuse, and this is the crazy part - he attacks you with armored dragons."

There was a long pause. Astrid spoke up. "So, somebody else had the idea of training dragons before you?"

"Apparently."

Fishlegs spoke up next. "And this was somebody who hates dragons?"

"Yeah," said Hiccup. "Later we found out he lost his left arm to the dragons, so he's all crazy and he hates them. And this is clearly before the war ended. It's not like he saw what I was doing and said, 'I'll do that, too, but for evil!'"

"As the chief," Stoick said. "I know that if somebody had attacked us with armored dragons back in those days, we would have said, 'Oh gods! Somebody knows how to control dragons! We need to look into this.' For Thor's sake, Hiccup! How did you not know you were dreaming by this point?"

"It''s a dream!" Hiccup said embarrassingly, as if he were ashamed that his subconscious came up with this. "I swear, I didn't think it up on purpose."

"Go on, Hiccup," said Astrid. "I want to know what else happens in this crazy dream."

"Right," Hiccup said, getting back on track. "So, Toothless and I go after this 'Drago' to try and talk some sense into him, because I really don't want another war. But they end up chasing us and we get lost and then we find this island, and there's this lady who also seems to have trained dragons before me."

Fishlegs hit his head against the wall. "How many people figured out how to do this? Everybody called your idea revolutionary, once they accepted it."

Astrid jumped in. "The idea was revolutionary. Hiccup, I'm not sure why your subconscious is downgrading you for what you did."

"Yeah," Hiccup agreed. "but anyway, this lady with the trained dragons, it turns out…" He paused for a second, hardly believing he was stating such insane fantasies as if they were facts. "… she turns out to be my mother."

They all stared at him. There was a look on Stoick's face that Hiccup had never seen before. "Hiccup, your mother is dead. I saw her corpse with my own two eyes. Why do you have to bring her into this nonsensical story of yours?"

"I'm not trying to do anything." Hiccup said, exasperated. "I told you this dream was insane, but you all wanted to hear it."

Astrid came over to Hiccup to comfort him. "It's okay," she said. "This dream has some touchy subjects, that's something none of us can help. Let's just try to get it over with."

"Yeah," said Ruffnut. "She better have an amazing story for how she's still alive."

"Oh, get ready for this," Hiccup said, hoping that the story would go by faster if he pointed out the plot holes himself. "Apparently she always knew the dragons could be tamed. Don't ask me how, she just 'always knew'. And one day during an attack, a dragon came into our house and I was just a baby and the dragon didn't eat me. It actually smiled at me. And apparently, that was all the convincing she needed to fly off on the dragon and leave her entire life behind."

Hiccup paused, letting that sink in. Stoick sighed and said, "Hiccup, I know you never knew your mother, but I can tell you that she had a strong head on her shoulders and she would never do something so… completely stupid."

Hiccup immediately came back to the story, in an attempt to get it over with as soon as possible. "So, she's living in a cave with a whole bunch of dragons - and apparently the Queen was just one of many giant dragons and there's one living at the cave that's 'friendly'. Don't ask, it'll go by faster."

Toothless looked suspicious. He never imagined there could be more than one Queen out there, and if there was, he highly doubted that one of them could be friendly.

Hiccup continued. "So at some point, Dad, you find me. And I'm trying to tell you about Mom, but you're not listening."

"Not listening?" asked Stoick

"Yeah, in fact earlier in the dream, when I was trying to tell you about Drago, you kept interrupting me and telling me how important it was to be a chief and all."

Stoick sighed before saying. "Hiccup, this dream you had is making a mockery of our lives. It's saying that the grief I felt wasn't necessary because she was still alive. The hardships that you faced growing up and eventually trying to convince us that dragons were not the enemy weren't necessary because people were already taming dragons. Hey, in your fantasy world, we probably would have accepted dragons without you having to do anything! And now, this dream is tossing aside the fact that I'm really trying to be a better father than I was. And the dream is saying it's not necessary because I still end up dismissing you every chance I get!"

"It's okay," Hiccup said."It's just a dream."

Stoick sighed. "Yes, I guess you're right. I don't know why I'm letting this dream get to me so much."

"So anyway," Hiccup continued, "You do eventually see Mom."

Stoick frowned. "If her story is supposed to be true, I have every reason in the world to be furious with her."

"You're not. You're just happy to see her again."

Stoick looked at a loss for words until he said, "I loved her, but not enough to overlook such an crazy story."

"So," Hiccup said, trying to lighten the mood. "Everybody's together and we can be a family again…"

"Well," said Astrid. "at least the dream has a happy ending."

"…That's when Drago shows up. Now, Let's just try and get this over with. So he's got this Alpha dragon, I guess that's what they're calling the giant dragons, and Drago is controlling this giant dragon even though it's already been established that nobly can control them. And then the two giant dragons fight each other and there's a lot of action and explosions."

Snotlout smiled and said "This story got awesome all of a sudden!"

Really?" said Astrid. "Are action scenes, explosions, and two giant dragons fighting each other really enough to make you overlook such an awful story?"

"Well," said Hiccup. "That's when the really dramatic stuff happens. So Drago is controlling the Alpha Dragon, don't ask, and he makes the Alpha Dragon control Toothless. So now Toothless gets these weird eyes and starts going crazy, and he starts charging after me."

The real Toothless frowned, wondering what kind of hypnotic voodoo could turn him against his best friend. Even the original Queen wasn't that powerful.

"But just as he's about to strike, Dad jumps in ahead of me, and well… he dies."

At that point, everybody was thinking the same thing. 'I should be feeling sad, but the dream is so nonsensical, and I know that's not the real Stoick.'

"So Toothless flies off with Drago and his dragons, we have this great big funeral, and Mom is telling me that I have to be the chief now."

"Why can't she be the chief?" asked Ruffnut.

"Probably because she's been living away from humanity for the last 20 years?"

"Hey, it wouldn't make any less sense than anything else in this story." Ruffnut said, laughing.

"So," Hiccup continued. "I accept my fate and vow to get Toothless back and defeat Drago, and…"

Fishlegs jumped in. "And that's where it ends? If your subconscious is a good storyteller, the story should end there."

Hiccup shook his head. "Not only does the story not end there, but there's this great big showdown between me and Drago and then, this is what's really stupid. Don't ask me how, but Toothless gets these 'Alpha Dragon' powers and can breathe ice and all the other dragons bow down to him. And also, Drago is defeated, I guess."

Toothless didn't even know what to think about that, and neither did anyone else. Everybody slowly tried to wrap their heads around what had just happened. "…That made no sense." Ruffnut and Tuffnut said at the same time.

Astrid "And what about your dad's death? Do we see the psychological implications or…"

"No. After the funeral scene, nobly even mentions him, except there's a statue of him in the background at the end."

Okay, your subconscious is really not a good storyteller."

"You're telling me. But the way the dream ended was so weird. It sort of implied that the story of the dream would be told to young children…."

"What?" asked Fishlegs

"…That people would call it a feel-good story…"

"Does anybody feel good after listening to that? I don't!" said Stoick

"…And that people would say that this story is better than the story of how I befriended Toothless and ended the war!"

That's the craziest part of all! Why would somebody like that story better?" asked Astrid.

"Well, that's the funny thing. I think the story in general wanted to be the biggest and most epic thing that had ever happened to me. It wanted to be bigger than the end of the war. It wanted to be some huge, epic story. There was explosions, action, an unnecessary death, and a few unnecessary sub-stories and bad jokes that I didn't even mention. I don't know how anybody could take that story seriously."

And after everybody left the house, took to the skies, and got the fresh air they wanted, it would be a few weeks before everybody could forget about the dream.

If you haven't already guessed, I loathe a certain piece of glorified fan fiction called HTTYD2. And I thought the perfect way to sum out why I hate the film is to have the original characters reactions to the events of the film. This is all very close to what my reaction was to first seeing the film and I didn't even mention a bunch of other stuff I didn't like.

Now, I am sure that there will be a bunch of people who liked the second film reading this. And if you want to comment, please don't be like "U R stupid Dragon 2 rulz! If you liked the movie, tell me why. Because honestly, I don't know why so many people reacted so strongly to this film. I would appreciate it if we can talk about this film like adults. I understand that we all have different opinions, and this fanfic is simply me voicing my opinion.

EDIT: Since I loved the first film so much and really didn't like the second, I always took it that the events of the second film didn't actually happen, at least not in the same universe as the first film. So, that's basically what I'm implying here.