Note: Inspired by the latest comedy, Lazlo is misdiagnosed with a rare disease and given 3 weeks to live. Dispite his morose about his impending death, he goes places he never went to before with Raj and Clam. The nurse then realizes she made a mistake and relays a fax to him in Europe...

Chapter 1—Lazlo's Accident

Lazlo and his friends were playing a game of baseball when suddenly, Amerigo hit the ball a tad too hard. Clam and Raj were trying to catch the ball when Lazlo was beamed by it, rather violently. He had fallen over, completely unconscious.

"Do you have to be so good at everything, Rigo ?", Raj said.

"Get Lazlo to nurse, get Lazlo to nurse !", Clam said, picking Lazlo up. The three of them carried him to the nurse who then sent him to the councilor, Doctor Inez. He was asked to look at different Rorshak inkblots and then placed in an ancient CAT scan machine. Lazlo didn't mind being put through it but he was thinking a cat would look him over. Sadly, Inez took off her glasses after having looked at the x-rays.

"It's not good, Lazlo. I'm afraid you only have three weeks to live.", she said, her eyes tearing a bit.

"Oh.", Lazlo replied, sullenly.

"No worries though, Lazlo. We'll all go to Europe like you've been going on about for so long.", Raj said, hugging him warmly.

"Euro trip !", Clam added, with a contagious grin.

"I'll stay here and keep you updated on what's going on at Camp Kidney. We're all going to miss you, Lazlo. Just don't forget to bring me home a souvie. Please.", Amerigo said, smiling gently.

"I won't forget, Rigo. We'd better get packing though, guys. Not much time to lose !", Lazlo said, tipping his hat, and leaving the office with his friends following closely behind.

Chapter 2—Three Misfits in Europe

Matters went along as normally as they could back at Camp Kidney. It was certain that Edward certainly didn't miss Lazlo, in fact he was happy to hear that his disease was terminal. The others thought he was heartless to have such insidious feelings. Deep inside though, he was really grieving. He would miss not being able to try and destroy Lazlo's optimism, ridicule him or execute his sarcasm upon. Of course he would never reveal this to anyone, however. Although he couldn't help wondering where in Europe Lazlo was and what he was doing at this time.

Paris would never be the same since Lazlo and his friends had arrived. Of course, they had joye de vie, but the French didn't quite know how to take some of his eccentric way. Lazlo and the others meant well and no one would've ever figured that he only had a few more weeks left to enjoy the earth's bounty. Disreguarding the stares and raised eyebrows they encountered, the three friends enjoyed everything they saw, ate and experienced. They even bought some souveniers and tried to learn French to get the "true" French experience. A lot of French people appreciated this and were more than happy to teach them about being a bon vivante.

Next came Italy, then Germany, and England, and Ireland. Everywhere they went was more beautiful and exciting than the last place they had been. They still had a lot of Europe to cover before Lazlo's time was up. He had already made out his living will and sent it back to camp. Although hope seemed to be lost for Lazlo, he continued to be optimistic and looked forward to meeting the "Great Scoutmaster in the Sky".

Chapter 3—A Fax to the Holy Land

The counsellor, Doctor Inez Maria Spotted Leopard did a scan of her own brain and then scanned the Nurse as well. Putting all three xrays together she noticed similarities. Since the machine they were using was so old, it was no wonder they were getting the same readout. Inez felt incredibly chagrinned at the moment, and she knew something had to be done immediately. She ran out of her cabin, practically screaming at the top of her lungs.

"What is it, Counsellor ? What's all the brouhaha ?", Lumpus inquired, rather concerned.

"Do you happen to know where Lazlo and his friends are at the moment ?", she replied.

"The last I heard, he was headed toward the Holy Land, then he was off to Egypt.", Lumpus responded.

She yanked him inside the office by the arm and showed him her findings.

"This is sensational news then ! He must be notified immediately !", Lumpus exclaimed. He notified Slinkman to inform the campers. There was an outburst of cheering. Edward looked nonshalant and devil-may-care about the whole situation. Inwardly though, he was glad that Lazlo would be coming back to Camp Kidney soon.

Lazlo, Clam and Raj were now checking out the pyramids in Egypt and they had found comfort in every location they had visited. It was almost time for them to go to sleep back at the hotel. Lazlo decided he wanted to watch the stars before he met his Maker. His friends were by his side, reminiscing with him the entire time. While he was talking seriously with them, he heard squeals of delight coming from the front desk downstairs. Inquisitve, he got out of the lounge chair and ran downstairs to see what all the commotion was about. Raj and Clam followed close behind him and were elated at the news they had received.

"It looks like I'm not going to die after all, guys !", Lazlo said, embracing them both tightly (but not too tightly, he didn't wish to asphixiate them).

"Wonderful, wonderful news !", Clam exclaimed, joyfully.

"Most assuredly. Now I know just how precious friendship with you is.", Raj added.

Lazlo grinned brilliantly and they quickly rushed to their rooms to repack all of their belongings to return home. There were a lot of items to lug home but nonetheless, they were happy to be heading back to the camp once more, knowing that life indeed was something treasured and savored with gusto.

Chapter 4—Back Home Again At Camp Kidney

When Lazlo and his friends had returned, all the campers were elated to see him again. Edward was ebullient on the inside but indifferent and aloof on the outside. If word had gotten out that he actually liked Lazlo, his reputation as a bully and a jerk would be foiled completely. The Squirrel Scouts had even come over for a visit to welcome Lazlo back. Patsy offered him an unexpected kiss upon the cheek which left him dazed. He wasn't thinking she would be so bold in her affection towards him. But he wasn't complaining.

The party was exhuberant and filled with merriment. Everyone was celebrating and rejoicing in Lazlo's return. The medical department of the camp had decided to opt in for buying a new CAT scan machine because the old one was ancient, clunky, and unreliable. Of course, this summer that meant the campers would have to go out into Prickly Pines and ask for donations with their fundraiser. But, with Lazlo as their head "go-to" seller they would have absolutely no adversity getting the money they needed for the newest, state of the art equipment. Plans were beginning to be made at this moment as soon as the revelling calmed.

After most of the "blue-prints" for the fundraisers were made, it was getting late and the sun was beginning to set. The campers were tired and ready to go to sleep for the night. Everyone said goodnight and headed towards their cabins. Before Lazlo went into Jelly Cabin, Edward stopped him. All the other campers had gone to bed and Edward had approached Lazlo. He had shocked him immensely with a completely out of character embrace.

"If you tell anyone about this, I swear I will wish you never did.", Edward said, and if Lazlo wasn't mistaken, there was a trace of a true smile upon his beak.

"I'll keep that in mind, Ed. Thanks for caring. I always knew you had a heart.", Lazlo said, still hugging him. Edward broke the embrace quickly and muttered as he left. Lazlo could see an immense smile on Edward's face as he left toward his cabin. Lazlo couldn't help but laugh at Edward's peculiar methods of showing affection but whether Edward wanted to admit it or not...he really did have a heart and he truly did care about others beside himself. The one who knew this more than anyone was his surrogate son, Amerigo.

Epilogue

Before long, Lazlo and his team had raised a ridiculous amount of money, more than what was needed to purchase a new CAT scan machine as well as other new pieces of equipment that were needed in the clinic. All was now well once more and no one had to worry about misdiagnoses. Matters had returned to "normal" back at camp and Lazlo was more popular than ever. He had become a bit of a celebrity since he had been outside of the United States. He had lots of stories to tell his friends and Raj and Clam were all too happy to supply details of their adventures in Europe.

Now in playing baseball, all campers were protection to be on the safe side. Lazlo could've been severely injured but he was rather fortunate. The bruise he had gotten long ago was no longer visable. Sure, there would be the occassional scratches and scrapes that all kids have to face now and then but they weren't that terribly awful. Besides, with the memories all of them possessed, the pain was short lived and the joy seemed to last for quite a while. What truly mattered in their world was that they were grateful with what bounty they had been given in the camp. Challenges would come and go, but blessings always remained.

The End

February 1, 2006