Okay before you read this if you can...you should get the song and lisssstennn to it... It makes it better when you're reading! If not ...read ahead and listen to it later hehe
Oh and pllleasee send me a review after you're done! I would love x a million to know what you think about this one!
It was going to be a one shot but I'm going to make it go for a couple of chapters ...here we go, hope you like!
If I Should Die.
A breathy gasp escaped her lips and she felt her body falling. Backwards.
And yet she felt nothing. Nothing at all.
She barely felt herself hitting the ground; the back of her head hitting the concrete floor. She didn't hear the bullet casings hitting the ground, she didn't hear people scream. She didn't hear her name yelled, by the three men outside or from the others back in the office.
All she heard was all the air from her lungs being pushed out of her lips and then nothing...
She placed her hand on her chest as she fell. Still falling. It was warm...there was something warm she raised it up to look at it but had to blink. She couldn't see it. Blur...
She blinked and finally saw the red on her hand. The frank blood red that covered her fingers.
Her arm fell, like she had. Hitting the ground hard beside her.
She stared at the tall ceiling white dots dancing on her pupils.
If I should die this very moment
Her chest heaved up and down and she was vaguely aware of her laboured breaths.
Suddenly she could hear everything. Everything. People's cries, screams, yells. It was so loud. Too loud. Her head was bursting and she wanted the silence, yearned for the silence back. Please.
"KENSI"
It was familiar. The sound, the voice. Her head lolled to the side and gave a sharp twinge. But it was soon forgotten when she saw him. He was there. She could see him. Her eyes fixed on him even though he was still slightly blurry but he was there.
He was being pulled away.
No...no...no...no...no
She needed him, didn't they know she needed him. Didn't they know?
"KENSI" His eyes met hers and a million words were exchanged between them. Every feeling. Every fear. Every piece of their vulnerable hearts right in that moment was shown to the other. She held his gaze. But he was the one to break it. He turned to push off another man trying to drag him away. Away from her. She didn't like that man. She needed him, didn't he know that.
But he was there. She watched him fight. She watched him yell and protest and fight. He was there.
He was there for her. With her. He was there. And that was all she needed to know.
I wouldn't fear
She wasn't scared. She didn't feel scared. Or sad. Or hurt. She didn't feel.
She was numb.
But he was there and that was all that mattered. He was there. She was safe.
With him she was safe.
She watched him push off more men. Fighting for her. She felt her back warm slightly and frowned wondering why for a second. Only for a second.
"KENSI!" She looked back up to see him. Slamming through the glass door. Gun in hand. The others behind him. Deeks, Sam...Guns. The door shattered as it rebounded off the wall at the force he'd pushed it open with. She watched the shards of glass bounce of the ground, glitter in the sun. A shot echoed in her head and she watched Callen raise his gun again,
Where was her gun?
Shots were fired and she heard them hit their targets, she watched the casings hit the ground, lying with the glass and with her. She heard the screams and the cries and she heard her wheezy breath. But she kept her eyes on him. And finally he turned back to her. His blue eyes raking over her body. Finding her eyes. Meeting her gaze.
For I've never known completeness like being here
He landed on his knees beside her. She heard them hit the ground with a thud. She watched the red seep into the denim and wondered how he was going to get the stain out. What was it? But she looked up again when she felt him.
She felt him place his hands on her cheeks. On either side of her face,
"Baby, Kensi I'm here" he stroked her cheeks. She wanted to reach out and touch him. She could feel him but he sounded so far away. He looked like he was there, in front of her. But his voice..it was so quiet, like he was in another room. She needed to get to him.
His hands were so warm on her skin. She was so cold. She was cold. She was freezing. His hands were warm.
"I'm here kensi hold on, hold on we'll get you out of here. Stay with me baby" she looked up at him, peered into his bright eyes that were welled with concern and fear and worry. But there was love too. She could see it.
"I'm here Kens. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here love stay with me" he said fiercely,
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Nothing else mattered she couldn't see or feel or hear anything else in that moment. Just his hands on her face. Caressing her face, brushing her hair away from her eyes. She could see just his blue eyes. Nothing else.
"I'm here Kens just breathe. Breathe Kensi. We got you. It's okay"
Then Deeks appeared on the other side of her and she looked at him quickly,
"How you doing partner?" he said throwing her a smile. She tried to smile back, reassure him. What had happened? She needed to ask. But as she opened her mouth the pain in her throat and her chest was unlike anything she'd ever felt.
Loving every breath of you
"No Kens shhh, sh it's okay don't try to talk love. Just breathe Kens" She should have known. Known that it would hurt. She felt pressure on her stomach. Hard. She wanted to squirm away but her body, she couldn't move it. She couldn't feel the rest of her body.
Panic.
She couldn't wiggle her toes, she couldn't feel her legs. She could feel wetness on her face. It hurt so much. All of it. Everywhere.
But then he was there again. He leant over her body until his face was inches away from hers. She could feel his hot breath on her lips as he breathed.
He breathed for her.
"Breathe Kensi it's okay I'm right here just breathe breath with me Kensi" He said and she watched a tear drop from the corner of his eye. As if in slow motion she saw it form and then drop onto her forehead. She felt it run down the side of her face. More followed. Streams of tears. But when she looked back up at him he wasn't crying.
Still my heart this moment
She wanted it to stop. She looked at him begging him. Make it stop.
It hurt it all hurt she could feel the pain. Everything hurt. Her stomach, her eyes, her chest, her throat, her arms; she was on fire. There was so much pain.
And more. There was more. There was so much pain in his eyes. It made it almost unbearable to look into them. Her heart was racing.
But she was with him. He was there. He loved her. She could feel his body, she could smell the scent that undeniably Callen. She could feel his hands on her face. Hear his voice, pleading her to keep her eyes open. To stay with him.
Didn't he know she would always be with him? Didn't he know that she would never leave him, always love him.
Oh it might burst
She needed him.
She loved him.
Didn't he know?
Hadn't she told him enough?
She had to tell him. Now she had to tell him.
She opened her mouth ignoring the slicing pain.
"I ...I" He shook his head,
"No Kens don't talk. They're coming Kens. Just hold on they're coming. The paramedics they're nearly here ERIC WHERE ARE THEY?" he yelled frantically and she tried to shake her head. It didn't work.
"I lo.." She took a deep breath,
"I love you" he stopped talking, he stopped yelling, he stopped everything. And stared at her.
"No!" His voice was low yet so forceful,
"No...do not say that like you're saying goodbye" he commanded but she frowned. Goodbye. She would never say goodbye. Not to him. She loved him.
His lips were again hers briefly.
"I love you too Kensi. God I love you"
Could we stay right here till the end of time?
She wanted him- she could see the love, hear his love. For her
I love you too Kensi. She breathed again. He knew. That was all that mattered. And then...
Then the world started spinning then the world exploded into bright lights and she clamped her eyes shut. She couldn't see his face but even when she shut her eyes the darkness didn't come all she could see was white. Blinding, bright, painful white.
Till the earth stops turning
"KENSI...KENS OPEN YOUR EYES. KENS...NO PLEASE KENSI PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES" she couldn't ignore it. Not him. She couldn't so she opened her eyes. It hurt, it hurt more than words could say but she focused on his eyes. His eyes.
"Good girl just stay with me sweetheart" he said running his hand across her cheek.
All the lights faded. Time stopped. The sound faded again. Everything stopped. He was with her. Everything was okay. Suddenly she was scared.
Where was she going? She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay. With him. With him. Forever. She didn't want to go anywhere.
Wanna love you till the seas run dry
She wanted to tell him how much she loved him.
Kiss him in the mornings and at night.
Love him unconditionally forever.
Start a family with him.
Love him. Over and over and over.
I've found the one I have waited for
It was him all along it was him. Right in front of her, sitting at the desk next to her.
She had waited for so long. Holding onto the tiny promise her father had once made her. The one that had assured her that she was going to find a man to look after her, who would love her no matter what. Like in the fairy tales. Like he did.
She had waited, her hope wavering, her hope dimming, fading.
He was right there. The whole time.
Please review!
Do you think the next chapter should be from Callen's point of view or should I finish the song in Kensi's point of view and then do it again in Callens so you get the whole of it in both of their views?
Hope you liked it!
Nina xx