Does my Twilight Still Sparkle

by SanityLost2

Rarity and Twilight Sparkle were close, as close as two ponies could get. But after Twilight became a princess, she did something that forced her and Rarity apart. Now Twilight has returned to set things right. Will Rarity forgive Twilight? Or is the pain from the past too great to get over. (Shipping story Twilight x Rarity)

Note: Before you begin this story, just so you know, while it is complete, I did not go back and revise it. So tenses, word choice, and other writing mistakes are probably here. Writing and me have been down a long, winding road, and it's been very bumpy. Writing is something that I love to do, but it makes me feel terrible while I'm doing it. It's been this way for me for years, so that's why I'm stepping away. This story was supposed to be my last story. It was supposed to be a masterpiece (well a masterpiece at my miserable level) to cap off a life devoted to an art that now makes me sick. But in the end, I didn't care enough to finish it. I hate to write now, for so many different reasons. I'm not good enough to make it great anyway. So I'll just leave it as it is. In any case, I hope you enjoy it. Sorry for the rant, now for the story.

Story Start

Evening skies faded into night in a soft array of puffy pinks, reds, oranges and blues. The final rays of the afternoon reached out and stretched over the colorful, straw roofed houses of Ponyville. In the upper class part of town was a pink, blue and yellow building in the make of a carousel. The elegant edifice stood tall among the more humble buildings around it.

Inside, a white unicorn mare moved about her kitchen. She straightened the light blue tablecloth over the table and made sure the silverware were in the proper place. She straightened the little corners on the folded, white cloth napkins on which they lay, messing up the corners she created only minutes before.

Her blue eyes looked around the kitchen. The floors were still damp from the last time she ran a mop across them, and the yellow counters were so clean, she could see her reflection in them. Everything was straightened and put away, just like it'd been an hour before. There must be something that she shouldn't do. She couldn't possibly have done everything.

The unicorn frantically looked around for something to clean, but everything was done perfectly. She dusted, mopped, and straightened several times since that morning, and the morning before, and the morning before that. The normal curly coif in her purple mane was flat, and stray hairs stuck out from her tail. She ran to the stairs, but stopped herself. She'd just come down stairs, after a morning and afternoon marathon of cleaning and straightening every room upstairs.

"Don't be silly Rarity, you finished cleaning that this morning," she told herself.

It had only been a few days ago when Rarity received that letter from Canterlot. She never thought she'd get a letter, or any other kind of correspondence from that pony. Not since that day. Rarity snapped to attention. There had to be something she'd missed, surely. She lived in a big house, there must have been something, somewhere that she missed.

She ran upstairs to check anyway, and trotted by each door. Every room had been cleaned by her at least three times that week. That was about the time the second letter came. She'd ignored the first letter, the second, and the third, but the fourth was one that she couldn't ignore. The words on the page were filled with agony. They begged and pleaded with her to respond. The message said that the writer missed her, and that she wanted to talk to her.

Rarity had sworn she'd never talk to her again. She said that she'd leap from the tallest window in the Canterlot palace or quit her career as a fashionista before talking to her again. But she couldn't resist those sad letters. She couldn't resist the acidic knife that jabbed her in the heart when she read the pining words.

Rarity squeezed her eyes shut and rushed downstairs to the main room that served as her shop. She frantically looked over dresses, making sure they were organized. She'd done it yesterday, she remembered but she did it again. She thought about how certain colors went well with others, or how pretty the shape was. Thoughts about dresses could not push out the past.

Despite Rarity's initial personal inhibitions, she responded top that letter. She told the writer she'd have her over. However, she said it wouldn't be wise to show her face around her old friends again. The fashionista warned her, she warned her about that time, and that all her friends were still mad at her. But she wrote her back and said she'd come anyway. She said she had to see Rarity again, even if it was just for a few minutes. She said she had a lot to say. She said that there was so much she didn't get to say before.

Rarity clenched her teeth. The hangers made scratching sounds on the rack as she flicked through them. She watched the colors through blurry eyes. Her stomach was on fire. She took a step back and wiped her eyes with a hoof. It'd been so long. The fashionista wanted to see her, too. But, then again, she didn't. Images of that night in Canterlot crashed through the leaky floodgates in her mind. The screaming, the crying, the swearing of eternal hatred, all of the old memories burst out of their incarceration, and took hold of the unicorn's mind.

She shook them away and tried to focus on the task at hand. She tried to think about colors again. She quickly flipped through her dresses, thinking about style choice and color, when she saw a purple dress. Rarity quickly turned away from the rack.

How many times had she said "thank you" in that next letter for saying she could come by. Eight? Yes, it was eight. Rarity squeezed her eyes shut and felt moisture burn in her eyes. No. How many times had she cried over the years? Too many. Too many tears, too many sleepless nights, too many aches and pains. Her friends comforted her, but it wasn't enough.

Rarity looked back at the rack of dresses. She'd been working on them nonstop for the past two weeks. Not to sell them, but to keep her mind busy. It was two weeks ago when she'd gotten that last letter, telling her that the purple pony would be there in two weeks. She didn't want to think about it, but she did. She did everything she could to keep from thinking about it, but the thoughts wouldn't go away. Two weeks of torture, trying not to think about the visit she knew would come.

Rarity thought it was possible that she could back out. Maybe she didn't want to see her after all. Maybe she was too busy with her royal duties to come and see her. No. She knew that wouldn't happen. Twilight wanted to see her. She could tell. She knew Twilight well, and from the words in the letter, she knew her old friend would come and see her, come what may. That was something that time wouldn't change about Twilight. There was a wrapping on the door.

She was there. Rarity tried to lift a foot but they were wrought of impossibly strong steel. Her muscles flexed and her stomach felt like it burned. Fury and longing entwined and crashed around inside her. She didn't want to see the princess. She had a mind to tell her to leave. Her kind was not wanted there. At the same time she wanted to throw her hooves around Twilight's neck.

The knocking became more insistent, and Rarity slowly lifted her hoof off the ground. She took a step. There was a series of knocks. She took another step, and there was another series of knocks. Why was this so hard? Why? It had been years. Why was this so hard? Because it hurt so bad the last time. That's why.

There was another knock. Rarity took a deep breath and walked toward the door. She wiped any stray tears from her eyes and put on a neutral face. She reached out a hoof and opened the door. Standing there was a purple mare. Her wings were pressed close to her sides and her legs were stiff. Her violet eyes looked into the other mare's. Her horn erupted into soft, purple magic. A red package with a yellow bow was lifted from the alicorn's back and handed to the unicorn.

"Hi Rarity." Twilight softly smiled.

"Princess Twilight Sparkle," Rarity said. Her voice was cool. "It is a great honor to receive a visit from you. Please, come in."

The smile faded from Twilight's face. Rarity looked behind Twilight and saw no golden chariot. "You fly by yourself form Canterlot?" She asked the princess.

Twilight took small steps as she slowly moved passed the threshold. The alicorn placed the package on a table by the door. Rarity shut the door behind her guest, a little harder than she meant to.

"Yes, I did," Twilight said. She turned to face Rarity and bit her lip. Her chest heaved, and she audibly swallowed.

Rarity gave the wrapped package a passing glance. "Is that gift for me, your highness?"

"Of course, who else would it be for?"

"Thank you very much your highness, I'm honored to receive a gift from one such as yourself."

Twilight allowed herself a small smile. "Oh Rarity, you know you don't have to be formal with me. Just plain old Twilight will do."

Rarity turned her head and acted as if she didn't hear her. "I've been making some tea your highness. I would be honored if you'd have some."

Twilight's smile vanished and she lightly chewed her cheek. "Yes – I – sure, that would be great."

Twilight followed Rarity into her kitchen. The purple alicorn took a seat at the table while the unicorn walked over to her stove and placed a pink teapot from the stove onto a silver platter. She levitated the platter over to the table and joined the princess.

"How would you like your tea?" Rarity said.

"I can fix it myself," Twilight said.

"Nonsense, I couldn't allow royalty to do such a petty thing." The songlike tone in Rarity's voice contained a transparently sharp undertone.

"No, I've got it."

"I insist princess. Let me fix it."

Twilight's head went back and she slightly nodded. Rarity placed a cube of sugar directly in the center of a tea cup and poured the amber liquid over it from the pitcher. She levitated the pink cup and saucer toward Twilight, who stared at the cup dejectedly.

Rarity fixed her tea and smiled to Twilight. "So, princess, if I may be so bold, what has brought you to my humble abode this evening?"

Twilight looked sideways at Rarity. "Didn't you get my last letter?"

"Yes, I did." Rarity said. "But you know how we simple commoners can be confused. I just wanted to make sure that I understood why you came. You may have wanted me to make you a dress for the Gala."

Twilight's eyebrows gathered and she shook her head. "No, I didn't. Besides, you know it isn't even the right season for the Gala. Just like I said in my letter, I just came to talk."

"Small talk, or any kind of talk in particular?"

"Whatever you want to talk about."

"How about we start with small talk, then? This past year I haven't had much small talk with everyone being busy as they are. How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been, okay I guess. This past year Princess Celestia has pulled me away from my studies so I can act as a diplomat to our allies. I've been so busy negotiating trade agreements that I haven't had time to work on my magic."

"My goodness. Well, sometimes you have to make sacrifices toward the greater good, even important things." Rarity's teeth clenched. She took an audible sip of her tea. "What spells have you not had the chance to work on?"

"Nothing important, really. I already finished my life spell that allows two ponies of the same sex to conceive children. So, I don't really have anything on my plate as far as theoretical spell craft is concerned."

Rarity's eyes narrowed. "You don't say. So, two mares could conceive children now?"

"Yes," Twilight grinned. "It's all very exciting. Lyra and Bon Bon, you know them right?"

"Yes, I'm aware of them."

"They volunteered to be test subjects for the spell. They are currently at the Canterlot hospital, and guess what."

"What?"

"Lyra is pregnant. The spell worked! They expect her to come to term in a few months."

A thin smile flickered on Rarity's face. "That sounds lovely, truly lovely. Princess, your brilliance, graciousness, and generosity know no bounds. I guess that means any couple can have a child now. It's a shame that couples in the past couldn't have access to such a spell. I guess couples like that would've just had to adopt. But that wouldn't have made them happy now would it?" The white pony took another loud sip of her tea.

A cloud appeared over Twilight's sunny features. She looked down and fiddled with the rim of her stool. "I – guess not."

There was a momentary silence in the room. Rarity stared straight at her cup of tea while Twilight looked at the sea of colors created by the sunset. The fashionista met Twilight's gaze as she looked at her. They locked eyes for a moment, then looked away from each other.

"How is Spike?" Rarity asked.

"Spike is fine. He's grown a little since you've last seen him. Actually, he's grown a lot." Twilight said.

"I know."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. On the special errands Princess Celestia sends Spike on here in Ponyville, he comes by to see me. He comes by to see all of us, actually. In fact, he was here a couple of weeks ago. I was just wondering how he's been since then."

"He never told me that he came to see you." Twilight played with her hooves.

"He probably didn't want you getting mad at him. I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to face the wrath of a princess. Not again, anyway."

Twilight jerked her head toward Rarity. "He wouldn't have gotten in trouble with me. He can talk to anypony he wants."

"I hope so. I wouldn't want the darling to get in trouble because he spent an hour or two chatting with me."

"Of course not."

"Oh, and he does talk to Applejack and Fluttershy. He also speaks to Pinkie when he's in the Crystal Empire or Rainbow in Cloudsdale. I hope that's also okay."

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?"

"You never know about the needs of royalty. I wouldn't want him to be cast aside because he was a bad fit for your position."

Twilight pressed her fore hooves together. "Rarity, that's flat out absurd."

"Is it really?" Rarity's face was stony.

Twilight bit her tongue and flexed her wings. She tried to look into Rarity's eyes, but she felt the daggers directed toward her would poke her eyes out. So, she stared at her feet instead. "Yes, it is," the princess mumbled.

"Could have fooled me, but maybe the rules have changed. Royalty can change the rules at any time. They are royalty after all."

"Only Princess Celestia or Luna can make or change the rules. Then parliament has to vote on those changes. You've had government in school Rarity, you know that."

"I'm not talking about laws, dear. I'm talking about rules, you know, the unwritten ones, the ones that all royalty must supposedly follow."

Twilight's ears lowered. "There are no rules that we have to follow, other than the laws."

"Maybe rules isn't the right word, then." There was a strained grating in Rarity's voice. "Maybe the word I'm looking for is norms. You can't have society think you are strange by having a personal assistant that doesn't follow your wishes. What kind of example would that set?"

"Rarity, Spike can see who he wants. That's the end of it. Okay?"

Rarity pursed her lips. "Yes, ma'am"

Twilight looked back at her feet. "So – uh – how are our other – uh - friends?"

"My friends are doing just fine," Rarity said crisply.

"Well – uh what have they been up to?"

"I'm sure you know that Rainbow Dash is now flying in the main squadron of the Wonderbolts. Applejack is tending her apples and family, Fluttershy is tending her animals and Pinkie's Floating Party Ship is always full of passengers."

"That sounds wonderful. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I want to know what you've been doing."

"I didn't think you'd be interested."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Well, of course I'm interested. Would I've come all the way out here if I wasn't?"

"Forgive me your highness for my assumption. I have the flaw that all commoners seem to have about making assumptions based on the past actions of other ponies."

Twilight chewed her cheek as Rarity looked daggers at her. The princess looked back out the window as the sun set further over the horizon. A few of the weak orange rays hit the side of Twilight's face. The white unicorn thought she saw tears glistening in her guest's eye.

Rarity saw herself lying on her bed, her face buried in her pillow as she bawled her eyes red. She bit her tongue. Twilight quickly rubbed her eye. "Well, I do want to know."

The fashionista's face softened. "I've been – doing okay I suppose. All I do is what I've always done. Make dresses, give the occasional pony a makeover, go to the spa, have tea with friends, read a good book. You know, the things I always did. What about you Twilight? You told me about you official work, but what about your personal life? How are things with your husband? Captain…what's his name?"

"Battle Glory."

"Yes, Captain Battle Glory. How are things with him?"

"Things are okay, I guess."

"You guess? Well, I heard that his stay overseas was extended. It's been a year since he's been deployed with that group of soldiers to explore the Unknown Lands. Isn't he going to come back soon?"

Twilight shook her head.

"Why not? The article I read didn't expound much on the subject. Are you two not getting along?"

"Not as well as we'd like to. The last time he was back from his last three month escapade, things were a little rocky. We decided -" Twilight swallowed. "We decided it would be good if he went on deployment again for a little while. I didn't think it would be quite so long."

"You mean, are you two - ?"

"Are we separated? " Twilight interrupted. "No, not officially. There is no way we could really be separated officially without losing face. So we're just - spending time away from each other."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Well, it's better than arguing with him every night."

"What was wrong?"

"A number of things. The biggest among them was the fact that we married out of convenience."

Rarity wrapped a hoof against the table. "I figured as much. I'm sorry things aren't going as well for you and him as they are for Cadence and Shining Armor. After the big, beautiful wedding I read about in the paper, I assumed you were going off toward the Royal, happily ever after you wanted."

Twilight shook her head. "That wasn't the happily ever after that I'd hoped for. It never was."

"But it was the one you created." The sharp edge came back to Rarity's voice.

"Yeah…So – how about you? Any handsome stallions or…any other kind of significant others in your life?"

"You can say mares. Any other stallions or mares in your life? There, that wasn't so atrocious, was it?

"No – it wasn't." Twilight hid her face behind her mane. "So, is there anyone else in your life?"

"Well, if you believe the tabloids, I've done it with everyone except the kitchen sink, and I'm trying to figure out how to make that work."

"I know, but we both know those are full of crap."

"Yes. But, other than the occasional fling. No, no one serious. I've tried but, I've always come up short in that department. Have you been seeing anyone secretly since you and your husband has been gone?"

"No, I'm not like that Rarity."

"I wouldn't blame you if you were."

"Even if I was, I'm terrible at hiding things like that. It wouldn't take long for the news to spread. I'd bring shame to all the royalty of Equestria, especially Princess Celestia."

"I don't see why that should stop you. If even half the rumors about Celestia are true, she has more paramours than a fifty year old model has had plastic surgeries."

"I know, and I hate to admit it, but some of those rumors are true. But, still, it's different for her. She's not married, and I am."

"You didn't have to be married, you know."

"Yes I did, it's tradition."

"Then why hasn't Celestia or Luna walked down the aisle?"

"You know why Rarity. They don't because they would outlive their husband."

"So it's tradition for other princesses to get married except for them? Who made that rule up Twilight?"

"Well, I guess it was made up by the princesses of the past. They all got married to stallions, then their daughters got married to stallions, and it continued on from there. All of the ponies in court expect all princesses, save for Celestia and Luna, to uphold the tradition. If you don't, your family is shamed."

Rarity stroked her chin. "So, if I'm understanding this right, your decision to marry this stallion was dictated by ponies that are long since dead and a bunch of minor royals in court?"

"I guess you could say that. But, I mean, it wasn't just tradition. I did fall in love with him."

Rarity stiffened and took a loud, slurping sip of her tea. "Three months. I believe that's how long your courted him, if I'm not mistaken? Three months is a rather fast time to fall in love and get married."

Twilight look a slow breath. "We were really in love."

"Is that so?"

"Yes it's so. You saw us, remember?"

"Oh, I saw you alright." A gritty undertone worked its way into Rarity's voice. "I saw him laughing and talking with your brother and parents while you just smiled and chipped into the conversation when you could. When you two talked alone, I saw you smile and nod while that, pardon my expression, windbag, kept bellowing about this and that. Honestly, how could you stand him?"

Twilight's lips slanted. "I'm not sure."

"How could you put up with him? He is, or at least was when I spoke to him those years ago, arrogant, impolite, a bore. He didn't have any class. He was just from a prominent family that would have looked good as a husband. Surely you could have found someone better."

"He wasn't hard to put up with and I didn't really mind his ramblings. I guess I could have found better."

"You don't have to guess, even a rock would've been better than that rambling buffoon."

"Probably."

Rarity rubbed a hoof over her eyes. "I'm sorry. I – I never cared for him. I guess I was biased though."

"Yeah."

"I imagine he treated you wonderfully, well, at least better, when I wasn't around."

"Yeah, he did. Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

Twilight huffed. "Look, I'm not here to talk about him, okay? Look, let's…let's stop beating around the bush. You know why I'm here."

Rarity tucked her chin into her neck. "I thought you were here for a social call."

"You know that's not why I came."

Rarity humphed and looked away. "And here I thought you wanted to come by and spend time with an old friend. Princess Sparkle, please allow me to be offended by that."

"Rarity, stop all that nonsense."

Rarity's eyebrows went up. "All of what nonsense? I'm just trying to give respect to a pony of your station."

"Well, stop. You know I was never like that."

"Could have fooled me."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh Twilight, don't pretend like you don't know. You insult my intelligence."

"I don't know. If I did, I wouldn't have asked."

"You know very well why Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight's lips curved down. "Rarity. Please, please don't be mad. That's why I came. I wanted to make things right. I wanted to say the things I didn't say."

"Your actions spoke for themselves."

"But they didn't. Everything I did, I didn't…I was stupid. Well, I guess I was stupid. I don't know." Twilight shook her head and wrung her fore hooves. "I don't know. I can't think of the words. This is so hard for me." Her voice cracked.

"This is hard for you? How hard do you think it was for me? Do you know the amount of hell I went through?"

"I know. That's why I'm here. Please, Rarity." Twilight's eyes glistened.

Rarity felt a little twinge in her chest, though she kept her face stoic. "Fine, you have the floor your highness."

Twilight's lower lip shuddered. "Rarity, I'm not as eloquent as you. So I don't have the words. I shouldn't have done what I did. I know I hurt you. I know you didn't deserve it. I should have talked to you. I should have said something."

"Really? You should have said something to me? Your highness, it honors me that I'm worth your words now. For the longest time I thought I was only worth some stupid scrawled words on paper." Rarity ended with a growling screech.

Twilight's voice quivered. "I had to do it that way. I couldn't face you. I couldn't stand to see you cry. Especially after that."

"After what, my lady? After surprising me by kissing some useless stallion? After lying to everyone about us? Or, after sending me a note with only two words on it? Two words! Two damned words, is that all I was worth Twilight? Two little words? Did you think that was all it would take to make everything vanish? I'm sorry. Those lovely little words that made me go poof from your life. I think the worst part was when you made Spike deliver it to me personally. You know, I still never told him what that note said. He had no clue why I just broke down in the middle of the ballroom like that."

"I didn't want you to go poof from my life. I wanted to talk to you afterward."

"Did you really think I wanted to talk to you after seeing what I saw? Then those press releases proclaiming the princess had a new paramour. Those were just too much. Seeing your happy face with that worthless ignoramus you now call a husband."

"Hey, you don't know him like I do."

"I only had to talk to him once to know he was a moron. But that wasn't what really got me angry. That wasn't the thing that set me off the most about him. It's about what he was, not who, but what."

"What was that?"

"He was a prop. He was put into place to let the world see that you were a normal princess. He was put into place because you didn't want the whole world to find out your secret."

"No tha -"

"Don't even try to lie to me Twilight," The burning agony searing Rarity's chest leaked from her eyes in rivulets of clear fire. "You know he was. Your brother introduced him to you two weeks before then and you quickly saw your opportunity. One of your enemies in court was going to expose what you and I had, so you decided he'd be a convenient way to cover that up. You took it one step further and married the jerk."

Twilight shook and her lips pursed.

Rarity gritted her teeth. "He was a symbol, a living symbol that I wasn't worth the pain. I wasn't worth the slings and arrows you'd face from the court and anyone else. How I felt about you, meant little stacked against your reputation."

"That's not true Rarity. I had my duties to think of. I had missions I had to carry out for the people. There were so many things going through my mind. I didn't want to hurt you, but at the same time, I couldn't let everyone down. I panicked. I didn't know what to do."

"You could have at least talked to me. I was worth more than two hastily scribbled words wasn't I?"

"Those mares that thought I was dating you were at that party. If they would have seen us talking there, they could have easily said we were going out."

"Would that have been such a bad thing Twilight? The truth would have been out."

"Yes, and all of the work that I put into negotiating peace deals with the changelings, the trade agreements that I put into place, and the work I've done for the magical college would have been for nothing. I would have been discredited. My family would have been shamed, and worse, the ponies of Equestria would have lost faith in me."

"Who cares what a bunch of ponies you don't know think?"

"I do, especially since I needed their support to do the things I've done."

"How do you know they wouldn't have supported you anyway? How do you know the changelings or anyone else would have thought differently? Princess Celestia wouldn't, if rumors are true."

"Princess Celestia wouldn't have, neither would Luna or Cadence. But it wasn't just their blessing that I needed. I needed the support of those people. I couldn't have taken the risk of losing credibility, not while I was the face of those treaties."

"Why did you have to be the face anyway? If I remember correctly, at that time, you weren't involved in any political dealings until after you were married."

"Right. That's when the princess chose to put me in charge of the dealings with the changelings. I had to do it. I'm one of the only two princesses not running a province of our empire. That, and my fame as the element of magic, made me the obvious choice. When the princess announced my candidacy as the lead diplomat to the Changeling Hive, I had the entire kingdom's support. I couldn't let them down."

"But you didn't know all that was going to happen then. All you knew was that your secret was going to be found out."

"Yes, but that wouldn't have happened if it had been let out."

"Then, worst case scenario, the princess would have chosen someone else."

"My family would have been disgraced, Princess Celestia would have been shamed because she lead the ratification of my ascension to royalty, and I would have been cast out of the court, unable to make any changes that could have helped ponykind."

"Then, another pony would have done what you did, and helped ponykind in your stead. Perhaps that pony would have taken personal council from you. Also, yes, you might have been publically disgraced, but at least you would have had your friends. You would have even had me, whatever that's worth to you."

Twilight closed her eyes and pressed her face into her fore hooves. "I wish you would have given me the chance to explain. I tried to write you all letters, but nobody ever responded. I tried hard. I tried to see some of them. But none of them would talk to me.

"Can you blame them? How do you think they reacted when I told them why I was crying during that party? The girls tried to talk to you, I even tried, but you avoided us like we were some kind of nasty disease." Rarity's lungs felt heavy, her breaths came in gasps. "By Celestia Twilight, you have no idea how much that hurt."

"Rarity, I told you, I couldn't let those mares see me anywhere near you." Twilight sighed and sniffed. "Things were so much easier before I was a princess. It was so much easier for us to sneak off during the night. But, when I became a princess, I fell under the public eye. Then you started to get famous. It got so hard for us to get away. Things were going downhill, even before the time the party came around."

"But we could get together, and we did," Rarity said. "I know I got testy from time to time, but I had a lot of orders to fill. We did get together, even after you were a princess, and we did share some special times. That night. I don't even want to remember that night."

Twilight looked at Rarity with longing eyes. Both ponies minds travelled back in time. "I don't want to remember it either, I wish I could just put it behind us. I wish we could forget it ever happened and move on."

"I don't think I could simply do that. Not after that night. Not after you just ignored me and walked away with your entourage while I sat there and cried."

Twilight wanted to say something, but no words would form in her mind. She tried to will them there, but they wouldn't appear. So she just sat and lowered her lips to her teacup. She took a small sip, and wished that she could reach over to wipe the tear from Rarity's cheek. Imagining herself touching the unicorn made her heart bound.

Rarity wiped the glistening tear from her cheek. "Not after," she sniffed. "Not after that. Not after, I was - " The fashionista froze in mid-sentence.

"You were what?"

"I was – I was going to propose Twilight. Yes, I know the thought was silly. Of course, we couldn't go through anything official. But, I was ready to give my heart to you. Well, I mean, I already had but," Rarity's train of thought chugged slower as she spoke through little sobs, "I wanted it to be official. I – you know what I mean."

Twilight sat frozen on her stool. "You were…going to ask me to marry you?"

"Yes, does that sound so detestable?"

Icy flames felt like they were consuming the alicorn's muscles. "No, I think it sounds beautiful."

"It would've been. But it couldn't happen, could it? If I wasn't good enough to be seen with a princess, I certainly couldn't marry one, even if it would've been just a pretend marriage."

Twilight took in a broken breath. "Rarity, you were good enough. You were wonderful. You were perfect. But, it couldn't have been."

"I guess perfect wasn't enough for her highness."

"Would you stop that?" Twilight shouted.

"Stop what?"

"Stop calling me your highness. You know I was never like that toward you."

"As you command,"

"I don't command, I've never commanded you to do anything, and I never will."

"Well, excuse me. I was just trying to show appropriate respect for your station. That's what you care about isn't it? Your respect, your credibility, your image."

"Yes, but only because I have to keep the respect of my people to get things done."

"I suppose so," Rarity's voice was low. "Though, a strong leader will stand up for what is right, and won't compromise her position."

"That's a noble thought Rarity, but sadly, it doesn't work that way. A royal needs the support of her people in order to get things done."

"But if a leader stands up and is honest about whom they are, they'll gain respect from their people. They'll gain the trust of their people. That, and the strength of a leader's character, is how that leader is measured. It may work differently in other kingdoms, but that's the way it works here."

"Rarity, you're looking at the world through an idealistic lens. It's not really like that. I know, I've been a princess long enough to know it's not. You should know that too, spending as much time as you do with the aristocracy of Canterlot."

"Yes, and I also know that there are a large number sympathize with those who were in the same boat as us. There are even more in the lower classes that do. Then you find that a lot of ponies are too busy during these troubled times to just not care anymore."

"But I just couldn't take that risk."

"Even so, I know enough about politics to know that they wouldn't stop important negotiations or change any terms just because one of the sex drives of the negotiators. If the people you were negotiating with found out, what would they do? Would they stop talking to you? Those negotiations benefited them as much as it did Equestira."

"Maybe so. But the outcry could be so great that there was a chance the people's reaction might have disturbed the negotiations. The diplomat's reaction might have been far worse. I was the face of Equestria. Do you know what a diplomat of another country would do if they knew I was romantically involved with you?"

"Hit on you?" Rarity said with a prickly smirk.

"No, they'd see me as weak and that would give them the upper hand in the negotiation."

"Then show them you're strong. I may not be a politician Twilight, but I know how to work a war of words. You don't always have to rely on reputation to weave a powerful argument. So you were afraid of being viewed as weak and, at the most, losing your post as a princess, which probably wouldn't happen? You disappoint me, my dear. I thought much more of you than that."

Twilight scowled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that the Twilight I knew wouldn't be afraid. She would stand tall in the face of any danger, come what may. She would always try to solve any problem in any way she knew how, even if it meant self-sacrifice. But most of all, most importantly, she would always stand beside the ones she loved."

The sun's rays were fading outside and a shadow was cast over Twilight's eyes.

Rarity looked down and to the side. "The Twilight I knew would have proudly taken all of the slings and arrows thrown her way. She would have even served as a beacon for those that were like us, afraid of whom we are, or rather, once were."

Twilight took a long, haggard breath. "You're probably right Rarity, but then again, you could be wrong too. I didn't want to spin the wheel of fate when all of Equestria was on the line. But, I didn't know what to do either. When I heard we were close to being discovered, I panicked. My brother introduced me to Battle Glory and I saw a chance to keep everything the way it was. I saw a chance to keep everything on an even keel until I could get my life figured out."

"And throw your old life aside." Rarity growled.

"What else could I do?"

"You could have talked to someone."

"My secret would have been out if I did."

"Well wouldn't that have been better than tossing aside someone who loved you like an old dish rag?"

"I didn't toss you aside."

"Then what do you call it Twilight? Sweeping it under the rug? Hiding it under the bed? No matter what you call it, it's still the same. But that is why I've been distant. You weren't the mare your friends knew. You were something else."

"I was something for my country and subjects."

Rarity's chest heaved. "I guess I can't argue that. You did take the safest course of action and it paid off." The white unicorn blinked. She bit her tongue to keep back another string of tears. "But you still pushed me away, almost as if I was nothing. Two words worth of ink on a small piece of parchment to expunge a year-and-a-half romance."

"Rarity, I know I hurt you. You have no idea how much I didn't want to. How many times do I have to say that?"

Rarity scowled. "You're right. I didn't have any idea. You know, even if you'd have spoken to me after that party and explained, I might have understood. Oh princess, don't get me wrong, I still would have cried for months like I did. I still would have gone to bed and night and prayed to Celestia that I wouldn't wake up. Colors still would've seemed bland. Food would've lost its taste. But at least I could've understood why."

"I wanted to, but my enemies kept close tabs on me for months after that. I tried to talk to our – your other friends," the last three words came out in a choked sob, "but they wouldn't talk to me. I wanted to talk to you. I sent you letters, but you wouldn't answer them. I guess I can't blame you."

"No, you couldn't," Rarity said with a firm shake of her head. "I have no idea why you think it would change now."

"I was hoping you'd understand," Twilight's words were minute and strained.

"I understand perfectly well. I didn't fit the image in your mind of how a princess should act or who they should love, so you tossed me into the gutter for somepony who did. You weren't brave enough to risk your position, or the slings and arrows that came your way for the pony you loved, or at least, claimed to love. You weren't willing to step away from the spotlight that shined so brightly on you, even though there were probably other ponies that could have filled your spot in the event that you lost it to prejudice."

Twilight slowly looked up and faced Rarity. "No, I wasn't brave. I wasn't willing to risk my own happiness for the good of every pony in Canterlot. Maybe I should have thought things through more. But, I didn't. I was nervous and scared. I did what I thought was right at the time. Talking to someone would have helped me see this through more clearly, but I didn't know who to talk to. But, I can't change what's done. All I can do is ask you to forgive me."

Rarity closed her eyes. "I'm sorry Twilight, I can't forgive you for callously shattering my heart like you did, or thinking of me as some trifling, expendable thing."

"Then, I guess you're not the pony I once knew."

"Excuse me?"

"The Rarity I knew, the Rarity I was deeply in love with, knew how to forgive. She was generous in all things, including forgiveness."

"Don't you dare start shifting the blame onto me Twilight Sparkle. Besides, you weren't the one who had your heart twisted and stomped on by someone you trusted."

"No, it was worse. My heart was twisted and stomped on by me. I stayed up late at night too thinking about what I did wrong. I still do." Twilight's demeanor was somber. She looked at Rarity solidly, with no tears in her eyes.

Clawing arrows shot through Rarity's heart. She bit the inside of her lip. "Don't try to buy any pity from me Twilight Sparkle."

"I don't want pity. I already did too much of that for myself."

"You had no right to pity yourself."

Fires had been ripping through Twilight since halfway through her meeting. She was saddened at first but she started to grow angry. Rarity's last statement set off an explosion in her. "Damn it, Rarity. I know you're mad at me. I know my friends are mad at me. Even I'm mad at me. But can't you see I did what I thought I should have done? Yes, it was wrong, at least I think it was wrong, but I tried."

"Tried? Tried to do what, break a heart?" Rarity screamed back. "Well if that was your goal, you succeeded."

"You know, that was the one problem you always had. You were generous, but you could sometimes be one of the most self-centered ponies on this planet."

"Self-centered? Look who's calling who self-centered."

"That's what I've heard from you through most of this visit me, me, me, me, me," Twilight's voice rose with each iteration of the pronoun. "And you have the guts to accuse me of standing in the center of the spotlight. Let's not forget who gets upset if she's not in some tabloid or other at least once a week. I read about that little temper tantrum you had when your dresses were taken out of that designer shop in Manehatten."

"Stop bringing up inconsequential matters into this conversation."

"They aren't inconsequential, they're relevant. Very relevant."

"If you say so. I guess what's relevant for a princess is different than what's important to us common folk."

"I told you to stop that," Twilight said through clenched teeth.

"Or what your highness? Will you banish me to the Everfree Forest? Will you have the flesh throttled from my body? Or, will you just have me sent to the surface of the sun for treason?"

Twilight pounded her foreleg on the table. "Quit being stupid."

"I'm sorry your majesty, that is a command I cannot obey. We lesser life forms can't help but be stupid compared to you brilliant alicorns."

"Enough. You know I don't think you're a lesser life form."

"By how you treated me, I could only think so."

"That was in the past. That was when I was stupid. Please, stop this."

"When you were stupid? When did you ever stop being that way? You're still with that stupid husband of yours."

"Yes, regrettably I am. Now, stop this at once."

"If you regret it, why are you still with him?"

"I don't know, this isn't about him. Now, please, stop."

"Yes it is, he's the one you traded for me. He was my replacement. So a lot of this has to do with him."

"Rarity," Twilight screamed. A flash of crimson twinkled in Twilight's eyes. "I command you to silence!"

Rarity's lips snapped shut. She bowed low on her stool and looked daggers at Twilight.

Twilight felt her stomach sink. "Oh Celestia, Rarity I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."

Rarity curtly nodded, not uttering a sound.

"Please, I – I really, really want to make amends. But, you won't listen. I want you to be my friend again. I want -" Twilight choked and glints of moisture pooled at her eyes. "I want you back. Or, at least, I want you to forgive me."

Rarity stared at Twilight. She did not move or blink. Only breathed. The silence was a pounding kettle drum in the princess' ears.

"If I couldn't have that," Twilight continued. "Then, at least I wanted to see you smile, one more time. You're smiles were always so special to me. They were worth more than all the jewels in the stupid crown I have to wear."

Rarity said nothing, but shook slightly. Emotions bounced and twisted inside of her.

Twilight nodded. "As I said, I don't blame you for not forgiving me." The princess wiped her eyes. She walked to the doorway and grabbed the package she brought in her magic. She placed it on the table in front of Rarity, who only looked dismissively at it.

"I have a feeling you'll just throw this out after I leave, so I'm going to open it in front of you now."

Twilight used her magic to untie the bow, ripped off the wrapping paper and opened the white box. From the box she withdrew a petite crystal vase, about eight inches in height. The vase elegantly twisted until it came to a star shaped opening. The glass sparkled, even though only night came through the window. Inside it was a small purple tulip. Rarity's face softened and puzzled as she looked over the small gift.

"I know you're used to extravagant gifts from friends and paramours. This little thing is probably an insult to you, but I wanted to get you a gift that reminded me of you, and this was the first thing I thought of. This is going to sound stupid, corny, cliché, and all those other things, but it's how I feel. What we had was simple, but it was colorful and alive. It made, and still makes my heart bloom. I'm not a poet Rarity, I'm not good at flowery words, so I hoped this flower would do."

Rarity swallowed and bit her cheeks. Her breaths were getting really long.

Twilight smiled weakly and placed the little vase by the wrapping paper. "Well, I did what I came to do. Thank you for having me over Rarity. Please tell the girls I said hi, even though they still hate my guts. Goodbye."

Twilight bowed and turned around. Her heart was lead as she walked away. When she opened the door, she heard a sound come from behind her.

"I hate you Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight looked over her shoulder and saw Rarity, little rivers of tears coming from her eyes, slowly walking toward her. "I hate you so much," Rarity said.

The princess nodded and turned around, but she felt a small tug on her tail. She turned back around. Rarity was only a couple of feet away.

"You always know how to twist my heart," Rarity said. "Whether you're here or not, somehow, you manage to twist and pull at it."

Twilight closed her eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Rarity pressed her hooves into the ground. "Do it again."

Twilight cocked her head. "What?"

"I want you to do it again. I want you to hurt me like that. Pull on my heart, stomp on it, make it throb in agony. Because. I like the way you make me hurt Twilight. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I actually feel alive when you're hurting me."

"I'm hurting you now?"

"Not intentionally. Just the old wounds are coming back."

"Then I should leave."

"No," Rarity sniffed, "you should stay."

Twilight shook her head. "I don't get it."

Rarity hissed through her teeth. "I don't either, and that's what's so confusing. I bawl my eyes out over you, still feel all of this seething, burning hatred for what you did, but I can't tell you to leave."

Twilight sat down and flexed her wings. She perplexed and flexed her wings. "You don't want me to go."

"That's what I said."

"So does – this mean you for - "

"No, absolutely not," Rarity cut her off. "No, I can't forgive you just like that. I still hate what you did to me Twilight Sparkle. I can't let that go so easily."

"Then what's the point."

"The point is, maybe I can." Rarity's eyes scanned her house as she spoke. "I tried to do many things to forget my pain was there. Some of those things worked, but even if I forgot for a moment or two, it was there like a big, ugly elephant when my thoughts came back to it. It would never leave. It's like a lingering poison, and you're the only antidote."

"So, only I can make you feel better?"

"Yes, sadly, but only if I let you."

"Sadly?"

"Understand princess, I'm still mad at you. I will be for some time, until all the wounds heal. If they heal, that is. But, knowing me, they will. I'm dramatic, but I'm more resilient than many think."

The room was quiet for a long time. The kettle drums in Twilight's ears settled into a gentle buzz. Crickets could be heard from outside and the sound of the two mares soft breaths were booms against the stillness.

"So, where does that leave us?" Twilight said.

"Well, for right now, it leaves you and me here until morning. That is, if you are able to clear some time in your busy schedule." Rarity said looking questioningly at the princess.

Twilight quickly nodded. "Yes, yes of course."

"Then, we are going to sit down and have a nice, long talk. Then, after that, we'll see."

Twilight's face brightened a little. "We will?"

"Of course. But, until now, let's leave the future where it is. I'm tired, and I want to get some sleep. Take the bed in the spare room and have a nice sleep. In the morning, I'll make us some breakfast. Sound good?"

Twilight tried to speak, but words failed her. So she just nodded.

"Good. Oh, and by the way." Rarity took two steps toward Twilight and placed a small kiss on her cheek. "Thank you for the flower."

Twilight tried to stammer a teary "you're welcome," but Rarity didn't stay to hear it. She turned around and walked toward the stairs. Her eyelids were heavy, angry fires still stung in her stomach. But, things didn't seem so bad. Her heart still felt cold, but from the thawing permafrost, sprung a purple tulip.

The End