Disclaimer: Don't own nothin'

A/N: I got very upset after Never Been Kissed. Not only because of the Santana's OOC, but the way they portray the female characters in the show. And then I got into a heated debate with some posters saying that sexism in the last episode is bullshit because Brittana had it coming, having boys treating them this way because they're both promiscuous and slutty and having no self respect and self worth. But my argument is that, that is not the excuse for boys to treat girls that way. Boys can sleep around and still be viewed as macho and a stud. That got me upset, so that is what inspired this fic. And oh, this will also explore in more depth of Santana's character (and maybe Brittany's) on their lack of self respect and self worth in the show. :( Sad theme is sad.

One's Worth

There were times when you thought you could get away with the troubles you had caused, only to have them biting you back in the ass when you least expected it. Then, there were times when you thought you were actually doing the right thing for once, but instead, you had caused more harm than good when you did the right thing.

Those were the times that Santana wished she could just tell them the truth, but she couldn't. She couldn't do it because she was afraid and she was afraid to admit that she was afraid.

"Santana, tell us the truth, did you hit Noah Puckerman until he ends up in the hospital?" Mr Schue asked her again, his tone stricter this time. Again, Santana kept quiet.

"William, there is no point wasting our time on her. They already have evidence that she hit him. Her fingerprints are all over the wood that she used as the weapon," Mr Figgins interrupted.

At the word 'evidence', Brittany perked up beside Santana. Brittany had trusted Santana that they could get away with this, but now that they had evidence, things were not looking so good in their way. Mr Schue immediately caught the look of panic in Brittany's face and he looked at Brittany.

"Brittany, tell us the truth. If you know anything, just tell us."

Brittany cast a glance at Santana for her permission, but Santana had a look on her face that told Brittany to keep quiet, and so she did.

"Santana, we can't help you if you won't tell us anything. At least, tell us why did you hit Noah. Nobody, not even your coach here can help you if you just keep quiet like that," Mr Schue tried again.

"Now, William, I feel insulted. Unlike you, I can help my students," Sue, who had been keeping very quiet all this while, suddenly spoke up when Mr Schue provoked her.

"Alright then, make her talk. Make both of them talk," Mr Schue challenged.

"Oh, I'll make her talk alright," Sue said determinedly, before turning to look at Santana. "Lopez, you're lucky that I still keep you in the squad even after your boob job. I don't tolerate my Cheerios beating up another person unless it's for a good reason. Now, tell me that you beat that punk up for a good reason, and I'll still keep you in the squad."

"Sue!" Mr Figgins exclaimed. "That's not the way to get her to talk! And you shouldn't encourage your students to beat another person up!"

"Brittany, tell us what happened," Mr Schue enquired again gently.

"Tell me why, or I'll kick you off the squad!" Sue threatened Santana.

Brittany let out a sob and Santana quickly reached over to grab her hand to comfort her.

Mr Figgins' telephone rang, silencing everyone in the room. He picked it up and everyone waited for him with baited breath in case there were any news on Puck's progress in the hospital. Mr Figgins talked into the mouthpiece, giving curt and short replies as the eyebrows on his forehead burrowed deeper and deeper with every word and every sigh.

Finally, he hung up the phone and looked at everyone.

"Good news from the hospital?" Mr Schue asked hopefully.

"Quite the contrary, William. Noah Puckerman has not woken up from the coma yet. Looks like it's a pretty bad hit to his head," Mr Figgins replied, and Santana smirked triumphantly although inside she was all jittery. She had never hit someone until they ended up in the hospital bed, still in coma, even though she knew Puck deserved it.

Everybody in the room were solemn. "But that is not the only bad news," Mr Figgins sighed wearily. "Noah's mother is pressing charges."

If Santana was nervous when she and Brittany were called into the principal's office earlier, now she was scared. Brittany didn't have it any better, as she began to cry and lose control. "No, she can't press charges! It's not Santana's fault that she hit him! It's Puck's fault. He-"

"Shut up, Brittany!" Santana shouted, cutting her best friend off.

"What? What did Puck do?" Mr Schue took this opportunity to ask Brittany.

"He did nothing, alright? He didn't do anything!" Santana answered before Brittany could. "I just hit him because we were having an argument and I hate his mohawked face, alright! And yes, I did hit him and I don't know why you have to ask me this again even though you have the evidence already! It's never hard for any of you guys to believe that I do all the evil things around here, so why should it be any different this time?" The last sentence was spat out spitefully as Santana struggled to keep her composure from bursting out into tears. "Come on, Britt. Let's go." She stood up and grabbed her arm to make the exit, but was stopped by her coach.

"Hold on, Santana," Sue said, frowning. "Before you go, I have this to say to both of you. I'm disappointed in your reasons to beat Puck. And I can't risk losing the Nationals now with you distracted with the charges pressed against you. Both of you are off the team. Strip off your uniforms."

"What?" Santana whispered, tears stinging her eyes. "Ok, you can do that to me, but not Brittany. It's not her fault and I'm the one who they pressed charges against, not her. She didn't deserve to be thrown off the squad. Plus, you can't afford to lose two cheerleaders when you're so close to Nationals."

Sue appeared to look indifferent as she thought about what Santana had said. "Santana, you're off the squad. Brittany, you remain."

Wordlessly, Santana dragged Brittany out of the principal's office before anyone else, including Brittany, could get another word in. Once they reached the Cheerios locker room, Santana ordered all the other cheerleaders out so that she could have some privacy and quiet to herself and Brittany, but it proved to be difficult when Quinn was in the locker room as well.

"Everyone sit down and ignore her," Quinn ordered nonchalantly from the bench. "She's no longer one of us now and even if she is, who's the captain around here?" With Quinn's words, all the other cheerleaders sat back down and ignored Santana.

Quinn stood up and walked towards the brunette. "Oh, don't look so shocked there, Santana," Quinn mocked. "Words travel fast. Everyone knows that you're off the squad now, so you can't be here in this locker room, let alone give orders to the cheerleaders."

Santana didn't even have the energy left in her to fight back. She just wanted to get out of those damn uniform, get into a shower, drive Brittany home, go back to her own home and cry herself to sleep. Brittany, sensing her best friend's inability to fight back, decided to step up.

"Quinn please, Santana and I need a moment alone," Brittany pleaded.

Quinn looked at Brittany and let out a breath. "Ok, but because you asked nicely." She turned her attention back to Santana. "Wow, I can't believe I had a lot of respect for you before, but that was before you got yourself a boob job. Now, you can't even fight back, and you need Brittany to beg for you? But I'm still really impressed that you can get someone to press charges against you." Her tone was dripping with sarcasm and she knew Santana was not enjoying it.

Smirking, Quinn turned around and was about to give orders to her fellow cheerleaders to leave, but she was suddenly stopped by Santana. "Save it, blondie. I will not have you leave the room while you kicked me down. At least, I still have some dignity left in me," Santana said angrily through gritted teeth, fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill out. No, she will not cry in front of Quinn. She will not let Quinn and the rest of the cheerleaders see her weakness.

With that, she turned on her heels and left, not caring if Brittany followed her or not. Needless to say, Brittany followed her out of the Cheerios locker room, into the hallway and into the girls' bathroom. Fortunately this time, no one else was inside and as soon as Brittany stepped into the bathroom, she quickly locked the door so that no one could go in. Santana was already in one of the bathroom stalls by the time she stepped in.

"San? Are you alright? Talk to me." Brittany knocked on the bathroom stall's door where Santana was in. "Santana?"

Few minutes later, Santana opened the door. She was no longer in her Cheerios uniform, but in her tank top and skinny jeans. Her hair was down, and she held her Cheerios uniform in one hand.

"Santana?" Brittany asked again, as she could see streaks of tears on Santana's face.

"It'll be alright, Brittany," Santana said reassuringly to Brittany. "It'll be alright. My dad's a doctor and he has connections. He has tons of lawyer friends. He knows people. He'll get me out of this mess." Santana forced a smile as she nodded her head, trying to reassure her best friend, but Brittany saw it more like Santana was reassuring herself.

"San, I don't understand why you don't just tell them the truth. Or at least, let me tell them. That way, you won't even get pressed charges because it wasn't even your fault to begin with."

"No, Brittany. No one will understand anyway," Santana said.

"Why won't anyone understand? Puck forced himself on you and you didn't want it. It's not that hard to understand. I may not know much, but I know that it's not your fault if a person forced himself on you," Brittany reasoned.

"No, Britt. You need to shut up. Puck didn't do anything. He didn't do anything to me. I hit him because of an argument and I hate his mohawk. That's the story and we've got to stick to that, alright?" Santana said, on the verge of losing her temper.

"But I don't understand why you want to go through all this trouble when all you got to do is just to tell them the truth! Is this even worth it for you to be kicked off the Cheerios squad?" Brittany shouted, exasperated.

"Look, it's my reputation, alright? How will my reputation be like when the truth comes out? Everyone will see me as a weakling!"

"Oh of course. Your reputation," Brittany scoffed. "What else? How could I have been so stupid for not knowing the reason why?"

Brittany sighed and leaned against the wall, looking at Santana as she washed her hands and face in the sink. "Quinn was right to lose her respect for you," she said after a while.

It cut right through Santana's heart and it cut deep.

"No, stop it Brittany. You don't mean that," Santana said quietly, turning around to face her best friend.

"I do, unless you tell me the real reason. Because, really Santana? You don't want people to know what caused you to hit Puck because of your reputation? I may be stupid, but I'm not that stupid. I know you. There must be more to that, because if there is not, then I really meant what I said about Quinn losing her respect for you," Brittany retorted, walking towards Santana until she had no way to escape.

Finally, Santana looked away, her shoulders slumped. Brittany could see the broken look in Santana's eyes. Taking in a shaky breath, Santana finally began in a trembling voice, "Look, it's not that simple, alright?"

"Only if you go and make it complicated," Brittany replied simply.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Santana swallowed and darted her eyes back and forth. "I..." she began shakily. It was never easy for Santana to open herself up to anyone, not even Brittany even though she had known Brittany for years and is the only friend she had ever had. "What would it do even if I told the truth? It's not like anyone would believe me," she finally concluded defeatedly.

"Why wouldn't anyone believe you?"

"I'm a slut, Brittany. Everyone in school knows that. Everyone in school knows that I'm easy, I never say no, I'm an easy lay... everyone knows that..." Fresh new tears began to form in Santana's eyes as she struggled with her words. "Who would... who would actually believe me that I said no to Puck. Who would actually believe me that Puck would... would force himself on me, because I never say no," Santana said. "No one will believe me, Britt. Because I'm always the evil and the slutty one. So, why would anything be different this time? Mr Figgins didn't even want to waste his time on me because they already have the evidence that I hit Puck. Quinn... even Quinn..." Santana took a deep breath, unable to finish her sentence as she wiped the tears from her eyes bitterly. Quinn, who was once her best friend, betrayed her and didn't even understand her at all.

Brittany never knew that Santana felt that way about herself. She had always thought that Santana was strong and confident. She had always looked up to Santana, but she had no idea that this is how Santana viewed herself. As Santana's words processed in Brittany's brain, Brittany realized something.

"That's not fair, Santana," Brittany said. "Everyone in school knows that I sleep around with people too."

"I'm not saying that you're the slutty and the evil one," Santana said, almost laughing at Brittany's perception. "And besides, people will believe you."

"Then let me go and tell them the truth."

"How many times do we have to go through this? I said no," Santana said stubbornly, while crossing her arms.

"But you said people will believe me and Puck's mom will drop her charges if the truth is known because everyone will take pity on you," Brittany countered.

"No, I do not need anyone's pity, alright?" Santana responded quickly. Angrily. "The last thing I need is anyone's pity, so you don't tell anyone shit."

"But..."

"No buts, Brittany. Please promise me that you won't tell anyone," Santana said, looking pleadingly at Brittany, and Brittany knew she could not say no to Santana. Santana is her best friend. Santana had never opened herself up to anyone before and Brittany was the only person Santana ever opened herself up to. Santana trusted her, and Brittany couldn't betray Santana's trust. She was the only one Santana had. So, she nodded her head silently, agreeing.

"Good. Now come on, let's get out of here. We've got to go and return these to coach," Santana said, referring to her Cheerios uniform still in her hand. Santana wiped the tears from her face and put on a smile. A fake smile that she had mastered all throughout the years, fooling everyone into believing that she is a confident and strong head bitch in charge. She extended her pinky to Brittany, to which Brittany accepted and linked her pinky with Santana's, before both of them walked out of the girls' bathroom.