Thanks to 11Alexandria7 whose reviews make my day. This is for you.
"Rough day?" Asked Elliot as he approached Olivia from the back of the bar. They had been working a case for over a month now, involving a woman who refused to leave her abusive husband. After countless hours spent going over her statements, making sure she was ready to face trial, she recanted and went back to the man she claims 'loves her.'
"Do you think she will ever get out, Elliot?" She asked. "Do you think she will ever leave?"
Elliot looked her in the eyes, not wanting to say what they both knew to be the truth. His eyes turned to the near empty class in her hands. He knew she could hold her liquor but he could also tell that she was near her end and had had enough. "Liv, why don't you let me take you home." He said while removing the glass from her hand. "I think you've had enough."
She didn't say anything. She remembered all the times she had done that very thing for her mother and how angry she would get at her for cutting her off. Olivia knew her actions were out of love; as were Elliot's, so she couldn't get angry. Instead she allowed him to help her off the bar stool and out to his car where he drove her home.
She hadn't even realized they were at her apartment until she came up to her door. It was so formulaic. After a hard case they would usually go to the bar, have a couple of drinks, and then Elliot would see that she got home safe. She smiled, loving how protective he was of her. She needed to feel that protection, especially after days like this.
"You want to come in for a while?" She asked. Elliot nodded and she opened the door; stumbling as she walked through the entry way.
"Woe", said Elliot as he caught her, "Liv, maybe you should sit down."
"I'm fine Elliot." She spat before making her way to the couch. Elliot shook his head and sat down beside her. He knew she was anything but 'fine' but Olivia was stubborn and he knew that she would shut him out if he pushed her too far.
"Liv, what's going on?" He asked. "We all wanted that bastard to go to jail but it just doesn't always happen that way. He still had his control over her."
"She said she loves him." Her eyes were on her lap. "Elliot, that's what I don't get. How can you love someone so much who hurts you? How could she rather be beaten than live without him?"
"Because it wasn't love, Liv. It was control, fear. She was afraid of what would happen if she lost or even if she won. Things would never be the same and that scared her. It was fear, Olivia, not love."
Olivia sighed. "Maybe I don't know the difference."
Elliot furrowed his eyebrows and took her hands in his. "Why do you say that?"
She brought her eyes to meet his. "Elliot my mother was abusive but she was the only family I had. Despite everything she did to me I still loved her. I don't even know if she loved me. I've never loved anyone else, Elliot; not the way other people do, not the way you love Kathy."
"Loved Kathy." He mumbled.
"What?" She asked in confusion.
Elliot cleared his throat and turned his body towards Olivia. "Loved. We are getting a divorce."
Olivia was shocked. For all she knew everything between them had settled. "Why?" She asked.
Elliot shook his head at the floor. "Things were screwed up." His answer was vague and Olivia could tell that he wasn't the only one who need consoling that night. However, Elliot wasn't much for getting emotional and she knew that they would both need a little help from their friends Jack Daniels and Samuel Adams.
So, with that thought in mind, she made her way to her kitchen and returned several minutes later with the alcohol and two glasses.
Three glasses and an unknown amount of time later, Elliot began to speak. "I'm not in love with her, at least not like how I used to be."
Olivia brought her legs on the couch and rested her glass in her lap. "How did you find this out?" She asked.
"Because", he began, "I'm in love with someone else."
"She's a lucky woman." Said Olivia, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. "Are you going to tell her?"
Elliot shrugged as he put his glass on the table. "I don't know. She's really great and she deserves to be treated way better than she is. I just hope I can do that for her."
Olivia put her glass to join Elliot's on the table before them. She blew her bangs out of her face leaned in closer to Elliot. "How did you know you loved her? What did it feel like?"
"I always wanted to be around her. You know, the worst days with her beat the best days without her. I smile just looking at her, even when she's mad at me." Elliot paused and watched Olivia's eyes fall from his. "I'm always thinking about her. When she's happy, I'm happy, when she's hurting, I'm hurting." Olivia sighed and brought her hands into her lap. Elliot could tell something was on her mind and couldn't help but wonder what it was. "What is, Liv? Why are you so quiet?"
Olivia shook her head. "Its nothing."
"Its always nothing." He chuckled.
Olivia gave a small smile. "I just didn't realize", she began, "until you described it; I didn't know I was in love." She leaned in closer to him, the smell of alcohol wafting off their bodies.
"He's a lucky guy." He whispered. "Any man would be lucky to-"
"Elliot." And that was it, before she cut him off with her lips pressed against his. She saw stars. The world was exploding behind her eyes as her tongue mingled with his. He brought his hand to cup her face as he pulled their bodies closer.
Finally, they pulled back, needing air. He pressed his forehead against hers and breathed in her scent. "Elliot I love you." She said. Her stomach was in knots both from nerves and the amount of alcohol she had consumed. "I know, I know you love someone else but I- I just need you. Make love to me."
His eyes widened as his breath quickened. The alcohol in his blood was doing nothing to help the raging heat within him or control the primal erection in his pants. He wanted her. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. She was there, beautiful, stunning, and asking him to do what he had always wanted.
His lips were on hers again as he gently nudged her back to lay on the couch. The air was thick between them as his hands roamed her aching body. He couldn't believe she was letting him do this. He couldn't believe Olivia Benson, the woman who hated being vulnerable put herself in such a state; giving herself so completing, handing her body over to him so willingly.
Willingly.
She was drunk. They both were but she had had far more than he did and to give in to her request would be taking something from her that she wasn't able to consent to. So, as much as it pained him, as hard as it was to fight every instinct in his burning body, he pulled away.
"What's wrong?" She asked as he sat up on the couch.
"You're drunk."
"No." She said as she chased his lips. His hands stopped hers, gently guiding her away from him.
"No, Olivia."
Anger and rejection coursed through her. She knew what she wanted, she also knew she was drunk but what she didn't know is why in hell he was being so cruel after she had put herself in such a vulnerable position. "Why not." She demanded.
"Because", he said as he cupped her face, "because that's what you do when you love someone. You put them first, no matter how much you want it, you put their best interest ahead of your own."
Olivia's eyes widened. Did he just say he loved her? Was it her that he had been talking about?
Elliot, who refused to acknowledge his confession made his way into her kitchen and poured them both a glass of water. He sat her on to sofa, next to him, as they consumed the sobering liquid.
Who knows how much time had passed after that. It could have been years for all he cared. All he knew was that the woman he loved was sleeping soundly on his shoulder and he never wanted the moment to end.
He brushed fallen strands of hair out of her face and watched her eyes flutter open at the contact. "Sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to wake you."
Olivia pulled herself off of him and placed her head in her hands. "What happened?"
Elliot smiled. "Hungover?"
"Oh, you have no idea." She groaned.
Elliot chuckled at her disheveled appearance. He walked into her bathroom, quickly returning with some aspirin. "Here", he said as he placed the pills in her hand, "take this."
Olivia downed the pills and sat in silence as the events of the night slowly cam back to her. "Elliot." She whispered. "What exactly happened?" She knew. She knew damn good and well what had happened, almost happened, what she had confessed, what she thought he confessed, but she was too embarrassed to own up to any of it; at least not until she knew he felt the same way.
"Well", he began as he scooted closer to her, "First we talked about love and how I don't love Kathy." He waited until she nodded. "Then you asked me what love was and I told you."
"Because you are in love with someone else."
He smiled. "Right. And then you said you loved me."
Olivia blushed and looked down in her lap. "And then what happened?"
"You kissed me." He said without missing a beat. "It's a shame you don't remember, Liv. That was one hell of a kiss."
She smiled, embarrassed but she could sense he liked it. "Well maybe you can remind me."
Elliot smiled as he leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss. Her mouth quickly fell open and welcomed his tongue as they meshed and molded together in a smoldering, shutter inducing, phenomenal, kiss.
"Please tell me you're sober." He begged, jokingly, against her lips. She nodded quickly before bringing him into another kiss.
He couldn't wait any longer. He wrapped her legs around him and lifted her up from the couch, carrying her to the bedroom. He gently placed her down on the bed and began kissing her neck and the exposed flesh above her blouse.
Her hands flew to the buttons of his shirt, flicking them open, one by one. He practically tore her blouse from her body as he lifted it over her arms.
She giggled and began kissing his neck while her hands worked down his chiseled body to meet his pants. "I think I am beginning to remember." She panted as she freed him from the constraints.
He chuckled as his hands roamed into her slacks, feeling the moisture that had gathered there. They were off her in seconds and his hand returned between her as his fingers plied at her flesh. "Tell me." He said as he stroked her dripping opening.
"You said when you love someone", she squeaked as he pushed a finger inside her, "You put their needs ahead of yours."
"Yeah." He panted as his thumb brushed her clit and he began thrusting. "What else?"
He pushed another finger into her and she began to moan. "That no matter how much you want it, you have to put their best interest first." Her body drew tight and her back arched as she was racked with intense pleasure.
"Do you want it?" He asked and he redoubled his efforts.
"Oh god." She whimpered as waves of ecstasy crashed through her. "Yes! God, Elliot, yes!"
Her body was slack against the bed as Elliot hovered over her and rubbed himself against her entrance. "Do you remember what else I said?"
Olivia wrapped her arms around him and smiled. "That you love me."
He kissed her gently on the lips. "That's right, Liv." He said. "I love you."
And with that, he pushed himself in, the feeling quickly overwhelming them. He began thrusting as the climax in him built. She felt amazing as he pushed and pulled himself in and out of her, eliciting moans of pleasure from both of them.
Olivia raked her nails down his back as she moved her hips to meet his thrusts. He was relentless as his body continued to fill and grind in against hers.
And that's when everything went dark and her body caught ablaze as his final thrust sent her over the edge into oblivion where everything seized and ecstasy shot through her in powerful, hungry waves, devouring any sense she had and filling it instead with pleasure she had never even known.
Elliot, whose body had just experience much that same reaction, was winded by the force of a climax so great he wasn't sure he would ever be able to move again. He laid there, on top of, inside of, her, panting as the last of the shutters flowed through him.
He braced himself above her and gazed down at her flushed expression. "Wow." He said.
She giggled. "Yeah."
"So you think you understand what love is now"
She lifted her head to capture his lips once again. "I do."
Elliot chuckled. " A little early for the I do's; don't ya think?" He smiled and kissed her again. "I love you, Olivia."
"I love you too.