The backdoor was heavy and hardly budged when Helga shoved. Framing her shoulder before the chipped handle, she grabbed hold and jammed her weight against it. Helga stumbled as the door gave way, swinging open into the night. Crisp air flooded the haze from inside, filling her lungs with relief. It was snowing. Helga looked up to see little flecks that fell like stars from the night sky. She sighed, closing her eyes. For a brief moment, she inhaled. The cold reminded her of so many things all at once, memories coming on like water down the drain. It wasn't till the snow around her melted, soaking through her shoes that she jumped back to reality. With a heavy groan, she turned and fell back against the wall. The alley was empty and the magic of snowfall was starting to fade away.
From inside her jacket she brought forth her last pack. A lone cigarette tumbled inside. When she brought it out, she found a note written on it in Phoebe's tiny script. "Don't smoke me," She read out loud, while reaching for her light. "Nice try, Phoeb's."
She'd come out for a break from Phoebe, but her best friend seemed to follow her everywhere these days. You'd think Phoebe was her mother the way the girl fussed about her. Sure Phoebe meant well, but how long can one girl stand lecture after lecture. "You'll do much better if you moved out, Helga," Helga muttered, bobbing her head and scrunching her nose. "You shouldn't work yourself so hard, Helga! Why don't you try going back to night school, Helga? You'll waste all your money on those cigarettes, Helga." She scoffed, puffing away. "Yeah, like med school's any cheaper."
But she knew it wasn't the same.
"Why can't you just let me figure it out," She continued, talking to the empty alley. To her far left, a car buzzed by, in and out of view. Glaring headlights danced just before her feet. She kicked an empty bottle and sent it twirling down the pavement. "I get enough of that from Olga." Ever since she'd graduated, Olga had been checking in with her to make sure she was on track. Yeah, it was sweet, but Olga had a knack for turning something sweet into something just plain annoying. It'd taken a good long talk to get Olga to stop calling every week during Helga's first year. The thought of that year made Helga roll her eyes. "What a disaster."
Her first year after high school was hard. She'd tried school. She really had. She'd also try moving out, but that didn't go so well. College was expensive and her parents hadn't saved any money for her. Helga ended up dropping out and moving back home just before the spring semester. Then it was full time at Caddie's. Three years later and here she was, standing out behind the greasy pub with rum split down her front and less than three thousand in her bank account. That was hardly enough to support herself, let alone rent a place and furnish it and pay for bills and food and…
"What. a. disaster." She repeated, slowly exhaling a trail of smoke. She watched it billow with feigned interest.
The back door swung open, suddenly, slamming against the brick wall as it had before. Helga turned to see the bar back shuffled outside with a full load of trash. She flicked her light away as she went to help him. Together they heaved the bag into the dump. Straightening, Helga nodded at the bar back. "I'll come back in a minute. Still got two minutes of my break left."
He nodded and shuffled back inside, the door closing slowly behind him. When it clicked shut, she returned to the wall. As she huddled there, tucking her arms underneath themselves to keep warm, she heard a crowd from the end of the alley. Glancing over, she saw a group gathering, all cheers and shouting, as they made their way to the front of the bar. From here, Helga couldn't make out any of the strangers, though she thought she saw Sid and Stinky. Sure enough, there they were. Sid raised one skinny arm and waved it at her. Stinky turned and grinned.
"Hey, fellas," She called back, standing up as they approached. "What's up?"
"You'll never guess who we ran into, Helga," Stinky drawled. He and Sid exchanged looks, both grinning.
"Yeah, never!"
Helga rolled her eyes. "Alright, if I'll never guess, why don't you just tell me?"
"Well, where's the fun in that?" Stinky said.
These two were always up to something. Helga inspected them with a raised brow. For a moment they said nothing. Finally, Helga continued. "Are you two coming in tonight or are you gonna get me in trouble again? I almost got fired the last time you tried to kidnap me on my break."
"Yeah, we're coming in," Sid said, "Plus, you'll find out anyways. There's a whole reunion coming in with us."
"Reunion?" Helga started. But, before she could weasel an answer out of them, she was called back inside. Waving to the boys, she ran back in.
For a while, Helga wasn't sure what Stinky and Sid had been talking about. The bar was pretty quiet for a Saturday, for all it was only 9 o'clock. A couple sat in the far corner, a few college kids tossing their coasters at each other by the pool table. She was just about to ask the bar back if he wanted to take his break when the front doors open and a crowd piled in. Phoebe, who sat at the end of the bar, perked up.
"That's a big a group," She commented, leaning towards Helga.
Helga folded her elbows on the opposite side of the bar. She watched the group as they noisily claimed their half of the space. Sid and Stinky were with them, as well as Joey Stevenson, Curly, Harold, and some other people Helga remembered by their faces, but not their names. She gave Phoebe a shrug. Those guys hadn't moved far from home after high school and wandered into Caddie's every now and then.
"Oh, look," Phoebe said, nudging Helga, "I think Gerald's with them. Isn't he supposed to be at school still?"
Helga glanced back up. She was right. There in the crowd was top hat Gerald, his hair much less gravity defying than she'd remembered. "I don't know. Maybe his school gets out early?" The thought of school and winter break irritated her. She ignored the group and went back to restocking glassware. They'd be wandering over here eventually to get drinks.
"About earlier…," Phoebe said, turning away from the noise. She cradled her glass between dainty fingers, her wide brimmed glasses slipping down her nose.
"Forget about it," Helga said. She sighed. "I know, you're right."
Phoebe made a noise. "I don't think you've ever admitted I was right before."
Helga glared at her. "Of course I have. You're the only reason I passed biology. And chemistry. And-"
"That's not what I meant."
Helga grinned. "I know."
The two met eye contact. Helga scrunched her nose and shook her head, returning to work before she said any more. Phoebe was right and she was thankful for her friend's advice. It was just a little hard to hear was all. Helga was quite aware of the hole she'd dug and buried herself in. She didn't need reminding of that every other minute. Money and school and her job. Sometimes it was all too much.
"Say," Phoebe glanced over her shoulder back at the group. "They're getting rather rowdy, aren't they?"
"This is a bar, Phoebs."
"It's just not very polite to-What are you doing, Helga?" Phoebe leaned forward to see Helga ducking behind the counter. She looked back over at the group, then back to Helga. "What's wrong?"
Helga turned her face up at Phoebe. She'd gone pale, her brow furrowed and her eyes wide. She shook her head.
Again Phoebe looked back at the group, squinting through her glasses. It was dark. She could hardly make out the other side. The group was absorbing the coaster throwing college kids, scaring the couple out the front door with all their ruckus. Sid was jumping up on Stinky's back, waving his hand in the air as he cheered. Herald was making his way to the bar, Curly at his heel. The group was dispersing, finding their places at booths and tables. She noticed Rhonda in the group, watching Curly and Harold as they went to fetch drinks. Phoebe thought she recognized some of the others, but she wasn't sure. Then, there was Gerald, slapping his hand on his neighbor's back. As he did, he noticed Phoebe at the bar. She waved politely. Gerald's face lit up, nudging his neighbor.
"Oh, I see," Phoebe muttered.
Beside their old friend stood an even older acquaintance. Not much had changed in the last couple of years. Sure they'd been nearly sixteen when their old friend moved away, but he seemed to have remained much the same; still considerably dwarfed by Gerald, round nose and an odd little head. He was dressed in jeans and seemed much tanner than Phoebe remembered. Though, San Lorenzo must be a very sunny place. Phoebe turned back to Helga at the bar.
"You really shouldn't hide," She said quietly. Helga glared at her. "Gerald and Arnold are headed this way."