THE WAY IT SHOULD BE.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not on Glee or any of the characters. Takes place after Sectionals(spoilers for those who have yet to watch episode 13).
She didn't look at him. Not before school, not during, and not after.
He always looked at her. Before school, during, and after. He'd purposely drive by her house just to see her face. Just to see her looking a tinsy bit happy. But Rachel was never truly happy anymore. He knew the difference between Rachel's real happy and Rachel's fake happy. When she was truly happy, her chocolate brown eyes danced with that happiness and they always seemed lighter somehow. But when she was fake happy, her eyes were dark, empty. After all, he had seen her both real happy and fake happy.
She had been happy when they'd first sang together in Glee. She had been happy when they performed Push It. She had been happy when they'd made out in the choir room. She had been happy when he invited her to go bowling with him, and she had been happy when he'd let her kiss him for a second time.
He had also seen her at her worst, with tears running down her beautiful face. The first time he saw her cry, he knew he had been the one to blame for those tears welling in her chocolate brown irises. He'd left her alone in the choir room(seriously, he hadn't meant to hurt her, but that stupid flashback just had to enter his mind when he was getting all excited), but what she didn't know was that he had turned back, just in time to see the first few tears leave her eyes. It broke his heart to see her like that--so vulnerable, and it broke his heart to know that he was the one who made her that way. He had been the one that hurt her, and he hadn't hurt her just once, either.
He hadn't told her the truth about Quinn, earning him a more-than-deserved slap in the face. He'd used her more than once, and he had already owned up to that fact. He had always used her feelings for him as an advantage for Glee, but somewhere along the line, they weren't just her feelings anymore. They were his, too.
When she'd sing, he'd watch her with awe. Her voice was so beautiful, and so pure. She didn't realize it, but he liked her. Oh, how he did. But he convinced himself that staying with Quinn had been for the best. He had to take care of his unborn child, even if it meant hurting Rachel and hurting himself in the process. He always had to be the good guy and do the honorable thing.
He had wanted to tell Rachel so many times how he felt about her. He wanted to kiss her, and tell her that if he could, he'd sing with her every day for the rest of their lives. When the two sang, it was magic(unlike Puck, he didn't mind sounding like a total pansy, hence the reason he found it easy to enjoy Kurt Hummel's company). When they were singing, they could drown out the world around them. He could forget about Quinn, and he could imagine that he was with Rachel, and that she belonged to him.
The first time he had found himself jealous because of Rachel was when Puck serenaded her with Sweet Caroline. At first, he'd been confused(which, if he was being completely honest, happened to him a lot). Why had Puck been singing to Rachel? But when he saw the way Rachel had been looking at him... well, that was when the jealousy settled its way into his stomach. He felt that Rachel deserved better than Puck(he had loved his best friend and all, but Puck was a womanizing jackass that slept with cougars and any girl that was an easy lay... like Santana, for example). Rachel deserved someone that would treat her right, and always be there for her. He wanted to be that guy, but he couldn't be that guy. Besides, he hadn't exactly treated Rachel all that great back then. He used her to his own advantage, and it wasn't fair to her, but he was far from perfect.
Finn Hudson had pretty much convinced himself that he'd never have his chance with Rachel Berry--that was, until his life took an unexpected turn. For better, or for worse, he had yet to decide. He wasn't the father. Finn didn't want to believe Rachel's words, but he truly believed that the diva would never lie to him. Not him, of all people. She had looked so sorry, and he had known--somehow, he had known--that Rachel wasn't lying to him. Still, he had needed to hear it from Quinn, and he had needed to beat the shit out of Puck, his supposed best friend(he admitted now that that might have been a tad unnecessary, but at the time, he had been pissed as hell). Hearing Quinn say that he wasn't the father was what broke him. He broke things off with her, and told everyone he was finished with Glee.
Of course, that had been a lie. Mr. Schuester had been right in saying that a person can't always get what they want. That had been his inspiration for the song he handed over to the Glee members when he arrived at sectionals. Seeing them so distraught(hanging around Rachel so much had broadened his vocabulary somewhat) had made him realize that coming to sectionals had been a good thing. He had been impressed by Rachel's performance(the girl had talent), and it was that performance that made him realize he still wanted her.
Despite all that had happened with Quinn, Rachel had remained the one constant in his life. She was always there, even when he didn't necessarily want her there(although, there were hardly ever any times when he didn't enjoy the brunette's company). He didn't resent Rachel for telling him the truth, and he made sure to tell her that every time she apologized.
A month had passed since Rachel spilled the beans about the pregnancy, and a lot had changed. Finn and Puck were on speaking terms again, despite their friendship not being as strong as before(it would take time for their friendship to get back to normal, but he was convinced that with time, everything would be okay again... always the optimist, as Rachel tended to say), and he had even helped Quinn the other day when she had run into the bathroom, about ready to barf. He and Quinn were sort of friends, but he told her he couldn't give her another chance as his girlfriend. Quinn and Finn as McKinley High's 'It Couple' was over. They could be friends, but nothing more and hopefully nothing less. Quinn had been more than happy to agree with that, saying that she and Puck were working on a relationship(he imagined that couldn't be easy, considering Puck's inability to commit). Quinn was still living with Finn(of course, Finn had to beg his mother to allow Quinn to stay after she found out that he wasn't the father). But like he had said, their days as a couple were definitely over.
So, Finn Hudson was a free agent and he was determined to make Rachel Berry his. All with the help of Kurt and the other Glee members(minus Puck and Quinn).
That was how Finn found himself standing outside of Rachel's house, iPod and rock in hand. He sure hoped that when he threw the rock, he didn't actually break the window. He didn't have to worry about not knowing whose window was whose(he saw Rachel through her window almost every morning, and no, he wasn't stalking... sort of).
Finn threw the rock and grinned when he heard it hit Rachel's window. Immediately, he noticed Rachel peek out her window and her eyes widened at the sight of him standing there.
All he had to do was hit play on his iPod and within minutes, he could be holding Rachel in his arms, claiming her as his.
Rachel couldn't bring herself to look at him. Every single time she tried, her heart broke just a little more(she didn't think it was possible for her heart to hurt as much as it did when she looked at him).
She threw herself into her schoolwork, more so than usual, just to rid herself of ongoing thoughts of him. No matter what she did, though, he always remained inside her mind. The image of his vulnerable, tear-filled eyes and shattered expression seemed to be permanently etched into her brain. When she shut her eyes for any amount of time, that image was all she could see. She hated herself for causing the pain of so many people(technically, Quinn's inability to handle her liquor had been the cause of everyone's pain, but Rachel was very well aware that everyone made mistakes, even the captain of the Celibacy club). She had told Finn the truth out of purely selfish reasons, and Rachel Berry knew better than that.
She cared deeply for the members of Glee, even if most of them didn't care all that much about her. She was very well aware that she came off a bit insane and a tad evasive, but that was who she had always been. She was the girl who didn't care about what others thought of her--the girl that was going to be at the top one day. It was lonely at the top, she knew that and she had accepted that. At least, she had until she joined Glee and met Finn Hudson face to face.
Finn brought out emotions in Rachel that she never experienced before--not outside of acting, anyway. He made her want to be a better person, and he made her want friends. It was because of Finn that she began giving away solos left and right(albeit grudgingly, at first, but she no longer minded doing so, especially since the other members of Glee held immense amounts of talents within them), and it was because of Finn that a few members of Glee had begun treating her like a person instead of another insignificant classmate that they enjoyed teasing.
Rachel always felt as though she were on top of the world when she sang, but when she sang with Finn, she felt alive and she felt wanted. She knew she shouldn't have feelings for the boy that toyed with her emotions more often than not, but it seemed her feelings for Finn wouldn't be disappearing anytime soon. She had put him in his place when he had refused to inform her of Quinn's pregnancy and used her feelings for him as an advantage to get her to return to Glee, but that didn't mean her feelings for him had disappeared. No, it just meant that she had the ability to fight them, and the ability to act as though they no longer existed. But they were still there.
There was no denying it--at least, not when she was trying to convince herself she didn't feel certain things towards him anymore. She knew better than to lie to herself. After all, the one person a human being cannot fool is the person staring back at them when they look in the mirror. And whenever Rachel Berry took a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she saw a broken-hearted girl looking back at her.
Sighing, Rachel shoved her thoughts aside. She just wanted to rid her mind of thoughts of Finn Hudson, and she also felt the need to rid her heart of him. The possibilities of either thing ever happening seemed slim, seeing as how her thoughts refused to leave her.
Wallowing in self-pity had never been Rachel's forté, so she was thankful and a tad baffled when she heard a loud CLANK against her bedroom window. Furrowing her perfectly shaped eyebrows, Rachel sauntered towards her window and pulled the curtains open, shocked by what she saw. There, standing in her yard, was Finn Hudson.
Albeit hesitantly, Rachel opened her window and poked her head outside, glancing down at Finn, who seemed to be holding some unrecognizable device in his hand. After a moment, she decided that it must be his iPod. Why he was standing outside her house with an iPod, she had no idea, but she had a feeling she was about to find out.
"Finn, I do not understand why you insisted on throwing a rock on my window, and I must say that I do not appreciate you scratching my window like some invalid," she shouted, not bothering to breathe until she had finished her sentence.
Finn scratched the back of his neck as Rachel's words filled his ears. He wasn't exactly sure what 'invalid' meant, but he assumed it was an insult. It sounded like one, anyway(then again, half of the things Rachel called him hardly ever sounded like a compliment to him, seeing as how he had no idea what they meant).
Opting to not reply to Rachel's rather confusing statement(er, insult?), Finn plugged one of his earphones in his left ear and pressed play on his iPod after making sure that Rachel was still watching. He offered the beautiful brunette a smile before singing, "We belong together, like the open seas and shores. Wedded by the planet force, we've both been spoken for.
"The hammer may strike, be dead on the ground. A nail to my hand, a cross on his crown."
Rachel's breath hitched in her throat as the words to Gavin Degraw's We Belong Together filled her ears. Finn was singing to her. She could hardly believe her own ears.
"We're done if we're undone. Finished if who we are incomplete. As one we are everything, we are everything we need."
Finn smiled as he sang the words to Rachel, watching as her beautiful smile broke out on her equally beautiful face. Yes, this had definitely been a good idea.
"We belong together, like the open seas and shores.
"Wedded by the planet force, we've both been spoken for.
"What good is a life with no one to share the light of the moon, the honor of a swear?
"We can try to live the way of which you speak,
"Taste the milk of your mother earth's love.
"Spread the word of consciousness you see,
"We are everything we need."
Rachel felt that Finn couldn't have chosen a better song to sing. She needed him. She needed him more than he could ever possibly realize, and if the song were anything to go by, it seemed as though Finn Hudson needed her, too.
"We belong together, like the open seas and shores.
"Wedded by the planet force, we've both been spoken for."
It had been a given that Finn stay with Quinn when he thought the baby was his. At the time, he hadn't been able to act on his feelings towards Rachel, but now, now he could do something about it. He could make her his, and he most certainly hoped Kurt's plan worked. Because if it didn't, the quarterback wasn't so sure what he'd do with himself.
"All this indecision.
"All this independent strength.
"Still we've got our hearts on save.
"We've got our hearts on save."
Rachel had been saving her heart for Finn. Even when she had been with Noah, Rachel's heart had been elsewhere, just as she had known that Noah's heart belonged to Quinn. She had been saving herself for Finn, and she wanted nothing more than to give him her everything--her mind, her soul, her body. And all she asked in return was that he gave her his entire being--his everything, to put it in layman's terms.
"Someday when you're lonely.
"Sometime after all this bliss.
"Somewhere lost in emptiness,
"I hope you find this gift.
"I hope you find this gift."
Finn frowned when he saw tears welling in Rachel's eyes, and he sure as hell hoped that those were tears of joy.
"I hope you find this gift," he finished, holding the last note a little longer than necessary before shutting off his iPod and tearing the earphone from his ear.
When he opened his eyes once again, he noticed that Rachel was no longer standing at her window, looking down at him. Finn's heart sank. That must have meant she didn't want him. He had lost her. Really, he shouldn't have expected any less. He had toyed with Rachel's emotions, messed with her mind, and all for his own selfish reasons. It was no secret that he didn't deserve a girl as amazing as Rachel Berry, and apparently, the fates agreed with him.
Feeling deflated and heartbroken, Finn turned, intent on leaving--that is, until he heard footsteps approaching. He whipped his head around, only to see Rachel coming his way, a smile plastered onto her face and tears falling from her eyes. Thank God, Finn thought, heaving a sigh of relief as he strode towards Rachel, coming to a halt once he was standing in front of her.
"You don't look at me anymore," Finn breathed, his tone and expression sad.
Rachel felt her heart break at the sight and was vaguely reminded of that shattered expression he wore the day she told him the truth about Quinn's baby. But this time, she was the one hurting him. That's when she knew Finn had been sincere in singing that song to her. He wanted to be with her just as much as she wanted to be with him, and she wished there was a way she could make him see that she did want to be with him. But her fear got the best of her, causing her to stand in front of Finn like a statue.
"I'm sorry if I ever hurt you, Rach," Finn began when Rachel still hadn't said anything. She was merely looking at him with this unreadable expression on her face. Finn wished he had a better afinitity--or whatever that word was--for reading the emotions of other people. "I'm sorry for using you, and for toying with your emotions, but you should know that I meant it when I said that I like you." He flinched, remembering that he had said that after she slapped him. "I did like you, and I still do. I'm a horrible person, Rach."
Rachel wanted to tell Finn that he was insane for thinking of himself as a horrible person. She wanted to tell him that he was the greatest, most wonderful boy she had ever met. But it would seem that Finn Hudson was the first person that had ever rendered Rachel Berry speechless.
"Not only did I use you, but I was stringing Quinn along," he started again when Rachel still didn't say anything. He had to admit, he felt proud that he could make Rachel, the girl who sometimes talked way too much, speechless. At Rachel's confused look, Finn continued. "I loved Quinn, really, I did... just not in the way she probably expected me to," he admitted sheepishly. Rachel still didn't say anything(he'd be lying if he said that wasn't a refreshing change from the usual). "I stayed with her because of the baby, because I wanted to be a present and good father to that baby."
Finn's eyes turned sad at the mention of Quinn's baby and Rachel reached out for him, placing her hand on his shoulder in attempt to comfort him.
Finn started at Rachel's touch, but he didn't pull away from her. Gosh, he hated that he seemed to get all sad at the mention of Quinn's baby. Contrary to popular belief(he really needed to quit hanging around Rachel so much... not that he didn't want to hang around her), Finn wasn't upset because he had lost Quinn as his girlfriend. She had made her choice, and it was obvious that his heart had made its choice(he was standing in front of Rachel now because for once, he refused to listen to that damned head of his). No, he was upset because he had grown attached to an unborn child that turned out to not even be his. He was even more upset with himself for being so stupid. Seriously, a hot tub? How stupid could he possibly have been to believe a bullshit story like that?
Rachel sighed sadly. She abhorred seeing Finn so broken, hence the reason she had avoided looking his way over the past month. When they'd been at Glee rehearsal, he'd look at Quinn's stomach with such a shattered look on his face, and it tore at Rachel's heart strings. At first, Rachel thought he looked so sad because Quinn and Puck had betrayed him, and though that may have been the reason for his depression in the beginning, she soon realized that it was much more than that. He never directly looked at Quinn, he always looked at Quinn's stomach. He had grown quite attached to the fetus growing inside of Quinn Fabray, and she honestly couldn't be upset with him for doing so. He had thought the unborn child was his, after all. He had been tricked, unjustifiably so(Quinn's actions may have seemed justifiable to some, but Rachel felt that Puck deserved to be in his child's life and that Finn deserved to know the truth). Though her actions may have been a tad selfish, Rachel honestly had had everyone's best interest at heart.
But still, it killed her to see Finn so sad. She just wanted to heal him, but she had a feeling it would take a while for him to heal completely.
"Basically, Rach, I wasn't being fair to either of you," Finn started up again, forcing himself to forget about the baby. It wasn't his, and he seriously had to move on with his life. "But I--it kills me that you can't look at me, and I hate it. I know it isn't fair of me to want you to talk to me, or to want you to be with me, because I don't deserve you--I don't. It's just... I, I think I could love you and I don't want to completely rule out the fact that you might feel the same way, because the thought of you never looking at me the way you used to ever again just kills me, Rach. It really does."
Rachel's heart was pounding almost painfully against her ribcage, threatening to break out of her chest. She had wanted to hear Finn say those words to her for the longest time, and now that he had... well, the diva had absolutely no clue what to say. It was very rare that Rachel found herself speechless, but Finn had this odd hold over her that no one else had ever possessed. If she were to be completely honest, it frightened her greatly, namely because the last thing she wanted to do was walk away knowing that she'd never feel for someone else(at least, not for some time) the way she feels for Finn Hudson.
"You're foolish," were the first words Rachel blurted out after Finn's somewhat romantic speech.
Finn frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. "Really, Rach?" he asked, attempting to hide the hurt in his voice, though he supposed he deserved it. "I basically pour my flippin' heart out to you like some pansy, as Puck would say, and you tell me that I'm foolish? Wow, just wow."
"Your sarcasm is very unappealing, and it does not suit you well," she informed him haughtily. Her facial expression softened as she corrected herself by saying, "What I mean to say is that you are considerably foolish in believing that I harbor any feelings of hatred towards you whatsoever."
"You could just say that you don't hate me, you know?" Finn blurted before he could stop himself. But, seriously, did she find it necessary to use so many words all the dang time? She really was a walking, talking dictionary, but he supposed that was one of the many things he lo-liked about her.
"Quit interrupting me, Finn Hudson," she snapped, though her tone was border lining on teasing. "I haven't been able to look at you lately because you always look so sad, and as 'chick flick' as this sounds, it pains me to see you so upset. I just couldn't bear to look at you, especially knowing that I am the one who caused said pain." As she spoke more, her expression and tone turned more serious, and her words had Finn staring at her as though she had sprouted three heads and six pairs of eyes.
"You haven't caused me any pain, Rach," Finn informed her, removing her hand from his shoulder and holding it tightly in his own, much larger hand. He marveled at the fact that their hands fit perfectly together--like, they were made for each other.
Rachel didn't want to believe him, but it would seem she had no choice. The look in his beautiful chocolate eyes told her that he was being sincere. She really hadn't caused him any pain. Rachel had never felt so foolish in her life. "I just don't want to see that pain in your eyes anymore," Rachel admitted, eyes downcast.
Finn smiled as he tenderly placed his hand under her chin, lifting her head so that chocolate eyes met chocolate eyes. "Then be with me, Rachel. Be mine, and I promise that pain won't be there anymore." He was being one-hundred percent sincere in that statement. The pain did have a lot to do with Quinn and the baby, but having Rachel in his life again(this time, as his girlfriend) would ensure that he'd be okay. He'd be happy, and he'd be the Finn he was before(only, he'd try to be smarter, and he'd never let a girl use him like that again... though he was positive Rachel would never stoop so low).
"Finn, I--" Finn captured Rachel's lips with his, cutting her off before she could protest.
Instantaneously, Rachel stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around Finn's neck, allowing him to pull her body closer to his as he placed his hands on her petite waste. Though the two had kissed before, this kiss was nothing like their other ones. This kiss said so much more than any insignificant amount of words Rachel could say to make Finn know that she wanted him, too, and that she wished to be his girlfriend. His soft lips were persistent against hers, and she marveled at the fact that he tasted like peppermint and smelled of Irish Spring soap. He smelled like Finn. Her Finn. No one else's, and most certainly not Quinn's.
All too soon, Finn pulled away, but immediately after doing so, he rested his forehead against her own, smiling down at the petite Jewish girl he was still holding tight against him.
"Please tell me that was a yes," Finn joked, though there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. The quarterback was terrified. He was terrified that Rachel would say no, and say that it'd be best for them to just go on. He was terrified that because of all that he had done to hurt her, she wouldn't give him a chance to prove that he wasn't that guy. He was better than the Finn that toyed with her emotions.
Rachel smacked him upside the head, causing Finn to flinch and flash her a look that could only be classified as a 'wtf?' look. "The hell, Rach? That hurt," he murmured. When he tried to move his hand from Rachel's waist so that he could rub his head, Rachel swatted at his hand and placed it on her waist again, flashing him a deathly glare.
"Don't you dare let go of me, Finn Hudson," Rachel seethed vehemently, though Finn could detect a hint of teasing in her undertone. That beautiful smile of hers graced her features as she said, "I would be delighted to be your girlfriend, Finn, and you're the insane one for ever believing I would say otherwise."
Finn opened his mouth to retort(despite the fact that, inside, he was totally jumping with joy now that Rachel Berry was his and no one else's), but Rachel cut him off as her lips met his again.
It was the perfect cliché moment, and it had Finn realizing that coming here had been the right thing, and that Rachel Berry was most definitely what he needed.
He would give her everything she deserved and more, and as they stood there, kissing in front of her house, he found that he no longer questioned whether his life had taken an unexpected turn for the best, or for the worse. Because, here with Rachel, he knew it had been for the best. He could be with the girl he was falling in love with, and nothing else seemed to matter.
Not Quinn, not the baby, and most certainly not Puck. Just Rachel, and that's the way it should be.
AN: This was my first attempt at a Glee fanfic, and I do believed I failed miserably--however, I can't bring myself to care.