This story is for Zee, who came with the following prompt on the Kaishin discord server:

"Kaito finally gets the pandora and had eliminated Snake or BO in a sense. Conan or maybe Shinichi noticed on a heist and asked why is he still continuing to be kaitou kid if he had accomplished his goal. Kaito still refuses to stop being Kaitou Kid because the only bond/relationship he had with the detective is him being the thief and Con/Shin being the detective."

This might not be exactly what you were looking for, however I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

This story is not betaed, and I apologize for any writing mistakes or rambling on my part as I've been sitting inside in boredom due to hitting my head a bit too hard while skiing yesterday. Special thanks to Male-Michel for helping me with a suitable title.

Summary: Despite having accomplished his goal of taking down Snake and finding Pandora, Kaito refuses to stop being Kaitou KID. Conan confronts him on a snowclad rooftop.

Wordcount: 2611

Published: 26.12.2017

Warning: None

Snowclad

The wind was a mere whisper in his ears despite the altitude, and in the distance, he watched the flickering of lights as the never-sleeping city settled for a long night. Underneath was the thrumming of music, chatter and cars as undistinguishable life signs spread across the horizon.

Kaitou KID rested his weight against the railing as he watched in silence, his suit was pristine white and without any creases – although the mystery around the attire's always unhindered beauty, Kaito had changed it out multiply time over the years to keep from ruining the illusion of always being perfect.

The heist was over for the night, and the last strugglers of the event was leaving the premises – even the police had gone home. And yet, Kaitou KID stayed dutiful on his spot, even when the snow started to slowly fall. A blue gemstone lay forgotten by his elbow as the snow-crystals drifted across it. It had never been the target of his heist.

As the thought simmered across his mind, the sound of a door opening sharper then intended when a brush of wind took hold echoed in his ears. Kaito's heart started to quicken his pace – although he had never even once doubted he would get company.

For a moment, he was tempted to not turn, to pretend he had heard nothing as the newcomer approached, but restlessness now spread across his body – he had waited entirely too long for the visit. Finally, after only waiting for a brief moment, telling himself silently that the desire to acknowledge the presence of his companion was not due to the fact he wanted to stare at them for only a precious second longer.

"You are late," he said, not trying to mask his voice, and with a hint of impatience. "I was starting to think you wouldn't show."

The newcomer did not slow his pace as he kept approaching the figure in white. Edogawa Conan wore a thick winter jacket, and a home knitted scarf was wrapped around his shoulders. Either the scarf was a little too large, or the detective and not been paying attention as he draped it around his throat, because the tip trailed after him.

As the boy came closer, Kaito had a few seconds to examine him. At 11 years old, Conan seemed taller than the last time they had met – but he was still rather small for his age, and he wondered slightly if it had something to do with the accident that had shrunk him in the first place. His face was still round with youth, and in a few short years it would disappear and make his cheekbones more visible in a handsome visage. Although his eyes were hidden behind his glasses, Kaito was sure he saw his eyes glitter for a moment.

"I was not aware I had been invited," Conan replied as he finally settled himself next to the thief, however he did not rest his weight against the railing as he stood proudly over the city lights underneath. "After all this time, I'm starting to think you want to be caught – "

"Maybe I have a thing for handcuffs," Kaito replied, cutting the detective's mulling. A lip quirked upwards as he watched Conan's expression in the corner of his eyes. The youth barely reacted with a twisting of his lips.

"That would explain a lot, I suppose," clearing his throat, Conan turned to face him fully, his lips pursing slightly with a serious expression, and Kaito had no choice but to follow the motion. "This need to come to an end, Kaitou KID."

The thief barely masked the wince of his shoulder as Conan addressed him with his night-time persona – long since used to each other's real name over the years. Part of him knew the detective was doing it for a reason. Turning away from him, Kaito stared out at the horizon instead. Further up in the sky he could see the blinking of a plane – the lights of the city entirely too bright to be able to see the stars, and the thought saddened him just a little.

"I cannot."

If he turned around, he would have seen the frown on Conan's face as his eyebrows twisted and his lips quirking downwards in displeasure but thoughtfulness. "Pandora is destroyed, Snake and the Black Organization is gone. What possibly reason would you have for continuing the charade?"

Kaito's stomach churned for a second, and he quickly swallowed down the emotions. "It's hard to give up on something you love," he said cryptically instead, fully knowing the detective would misinterpret.

Conan's expression fell, and almost as though the universe agreed with him, the wind ruffles his hair to obscure his eyes from view. "Sometimes it's necessary," his voice was so soft and filled with sadness that Kaito's heart palpitated in guilt, and before he lost his courage, he continued.

"It was a lovely ceremony."

This time, the detective stiffened next to him, and his hand reached up – the limb shaking slightly – to brush the hair out of his face. "You – you were there?" he licked his lips slowly.

Trying to keep from watching Conan in the corner of his eyes – and failing miserably – Kaito gave a slight nod. "My mother is an old acquaintance of yours," he said with a kind voice, and the boy bobbed his head once as he remembered their connection.

It had been over a year since Kudou Shinichi's funeral – the official story being that he had died in an explosion during the arrest of the criminal syndicate he had been pursuing for years. Although Kaito did not know the exact details – he had been otherwise engaged at the time – the destruction of a lab had perished not only important information on the Apoptoxin 4869 but Kudou's friend had lost her life. Leaving Conan unable to ever return to his body.

The ceremony had been small, but with enough media coverage to cease the rumours that Kudou Shinichi had survived. There was no need for any further investigation into the subject from freelancers, and Conan deserved to keep on living without being prodded on as a science experiment.

Silence settled between them, either seemingly at a loss of words as to what to say. Deciding to speak up, Kaito cleared his voice, "Nevertheless, is it wrong wanting to cling to the past?"

He almost expected a sad expression on the detective, but instead his lips quirked up in what could only be described as sardonic humour. "Arguably, you could say its no way to live. And yet we all do desire to go back in time when things were simpler." The boy turned to face Kaito fully again, and he stood firmly on the ground as the glare of his glasses made them glitter in foreshadowing.

The thief was suddenly stuck with the realization that Conan no longer barely reached his hip, and that 4 years had passed since their first meeting at the rooftop. He agreed wholeheartedly that the situation had been a lot simpler then.

"This has to stop. Not only are you wasting police recourses, but you are also risking being caught and thrown in jail the longer you drag this out. And I cannot help you if that happens."

Somehow, Kaito's heart fluttered in his chest simultaneously as his stomach dropped. There was proper concern in the detective's voice, and this time he did not even bother masking it. The thief almost called him out on it 'worried about me detective, really? You shouldn't have. I'm a big boy and can take care of myself'. However is tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth and he could not utter a single syllable.

The evidence of worry over him being arrested in the detective's expression made his chest warm up more than he would have preferred, and he hoped his cheek was not turning pink. He swallowed thickly – trying without succeeding to stop the affection from shimmering in his eyes. How he loathed faith sometimes – he had admired Kudou Shinichi for so long, and his only regret was never having the opportunity to meet face to face.

Or perhaps never having to would be better, keeping his heart from fluttering in want whenever Conan was around was hard enough – and it was easier to reprimand himself not to yearn for a child. He was 21 years old, and having inappropriate thoughts about 11 year olds was ethically wrong.

"I don't want to," he managed to say, almost petulantly – however looking into Conan's worried eyes he knew it was a lost cause. He would not be able to decline the request if the consequence was disappointment from the one person he wished to please above all. And a part of him childishly did not want to care – disappointment was better than indifference.

"It's Christmas," Conan replied, his expression unrelenting. "How many more days do you want to ruin for Nakamori Ginzo and Aoko? If you crave an adoring audience, why not become a proper stage-magician? With your talents you could get far."

Kaito had to muster every ounce of strength he possessed to not let the crestfallen expression on his features be visible. He had already been acknowledged as a stage-magician – and even performed for the president's daughter just two weeks prior. It was not spectators to Kaitou KID's heists he desired – he only wanted to catch Conan's attention for once – to catch Kudou Shinichi, master detective's wholehearted interest.

But did he ever notice?

Kaito had to look away, could no longer face the full force of his gaze as his heart broke in his chest as sadness spread as numbing coldness throughout his entire body. Perhaps he was at fault, fault for never voicing his mind, for never telling the truth. However, he was entirely too afraid his affections were unrequited – the evidence was damning.

"Please don't make me," his voice was thin and fragile, and he bit his lip as he had not meant to mumble it out loud. He did not want to say farewell to his last connection to the detective – to say goodbye properly. These heists were the only thing which had made him pursue Kaito – and he loathed the idea of losing the last shred of hope.

"KID –"

Conan started, however Kaito cut him off with what could only be described as a snarl. "Don't call me that, not when it's just the two of us." He turned to watch the boy, not knowing what his face show – aggression, sadness? He could not tell.

The detective's eyes were wide, and for once the glare from his glasses no longer obscured his expressions. His face was filled with too many emotions to comprehend – a mixture of sadness and fear and worry – and Kaito chomped down on his heart from reacting.

"Kuroba, I –" Conan stopped, a tongue darting out to lick his lips as he stole a precious moment to change his tactic as he continued. "Kaito."

He did not have to say anything else – not with that pleading syllable of his name – because Kaito knew when he had lost. Finally lost to the detective, to think the great moonlight magician had lost to a broken heart in the end. If Hakuba could have seen him now, he was sure even the bastard would have laughed at him.

He reached out to grab his tophat, only hesitated for a second, before lowering it to the railing. Next, he grabbed his monocle and placed it inside the hat. For each item he removed he felt a little more lost and exposed. Staring into the hat that had been his life for so long – of his father and family's life, he was suddenly unsure of what to do with himself. Or what he wanted to do – perhaps he had just been clutching to the mantle of Kaitou KID out of fear for the future and moving on?

The symbolic meaning of removing the articles was not lost on Conan, as a small hand reached out to gently pry the hat from his fingers. He only resisted for a moment, before he allowed the boy to take it.

"Thank you," the voice came out soft and gentle, filled with relief yet regret over making the magician let go. There was a shuffle by his side, however Kaito had no longer any willpower to look at Conan, and he presumed the detective picked up the gemstone from its snowy capsule.

The silence lasted for a moment longer, before Kaito spoke anew, his voice now subdued and defeated. "When – when will I see you again?"

Another brief silence occurred, and in the corner of his eyes, the magician noticed a movement as Conan dipped his head upwards to let the falling snow land on the tip of his nose. "I don't know."

Kaito's stomach did not drop this time, already expected the reply. Of course he would not know, a 21 year old making friends with a 11 year old simple did not happen out of the blue unless interior motives were in play. If he wanted to be a part of his life, there had to be a willingness to work on it on both sides over a long period of time. And Kaito was entirely too afraid to ask.

With his heart aching and stomach churning, he decided to no longer suffer in the company, it was time to leave and lick his wound over a bottle of whiskey and pints of ice cream. He lifted a foot up on the railing and was just about to swing off the balcony, with an insistent hand grabbed his arm.

"Kaito," Conan spoke his voice firm, yet shaking slightly, and the magician only glanced a flicker of fear in his eyes as he turned to watch the detective with curiosity and his heart thrumming in his throat. "This isn't a goodbye."

He held his breath, not daring to hope for anything as he watched the boy in silence. Another cold breeze whispered by and ruffled their clothing and hair. For a brief moment, there was a tender expression on Conan's face with his lips curling upwards in what he could only describe as bitter wistfulness.

"I'll come to your magic show."

Warmth flooded through him, however he never had the chance to reply as there was suddenly a pressure on his back as he was shoved over the railing. He only tumbled to death for a second before the wings of his paraglider spread. He turned his head trying to gauge Conan's expression, however he was entirely too far away and the snow was obscuring his sight as it rolled around him.

His heart was fluttering widely in his chest – and for a brief second he let himself hope, hope that the detective had pushed him out of fear that he too would express an emotion too many, say the wrong word that would let the other know that there was growing affection that had nothing to do with friendship.

Kaito would keep Edogawa Conan's – no, Shinichi Kudou – to his word. Putting away the mantle that had brought them together as adversaries did not mean farewell to the friendship that grudgingly blossomed between them out of respect and admiration. The both of them had lost something important to them, and maybe they could reconcile with the memories. It was not a goodbye, it was simply a promise of seeing each other again as equal, no matter how long it would take.

Kuroba Kaito could not ask for a better Christmas present.