In which he leaves, and she stays.
/
What puts her to discomfiture is the fact that he's going to get out of that school long before she does. Two years. It would take her two more years before she could start her pre-med, be a psychiatrist, and do well.
But him, he's leaving, for good. Maybe it's not intentional, but he's still leaving. And she closes her eyes to escape the pain and the heartbreak.
All she could think of is the fact that she'll be stuck in this hellhole for two or more years without her sanity. And she knew, she knew that it will never be the same, not ever.
The long nights of assurance and the occasional citations of "I hate you." (She didn't mean it, and neither did he. But that doesn't mean he loves her in the way she wants him to). He would call her mean, and she'll reply, "You love me anyway."
Her complaints of him sleeping while talking to each other via instant messaging possibly be replaced by replies of "I'm busy." Or "I can't talk right now." And soon enough, it's going to be her saying "goodnight" earlier.
Her heart shatters into a million little pieces as she held her phone in her hand. He's talking about how stoked he is for graduation, and she's doing her best not to cry. He can't hear her even if she did, but the negativity would spread through her body like a virus and she would start sending him not-so-pleasant replies.
He's used to her being mean… in a way. But she's sure as hell that he wouldn't like it if she rained down on his parade. So Stephanie decided that shutting her mouth would be for the best.
If he didn't become so important to her, she would have been relaxed in her room, listening to her mixtapes, and not worrying about anything else. But no, there's this feeling of hurt and pain that she feels whenever she remembers that he'll be leaving.
And that's the part where she realizes that she's in too deep.
She asks him to call her and they meet each other at the school garden.
"Hey!" She smiled.
"What's up? You look like you've been crying." He tells her, straight up to the point.
She sighed and gave him a small smile, dimples showing all for the world to see. "It's just… time is running the hell out." She replied, a distressed look on her face.
"We make more time, then." He responds, as if he already knew what she was talking about.
"It's not that easy, Tim." She told him.
He held her hand, and her stomach is tied up in knots. The kind of knots that could be found in the middle of hurt and happiness. Stephanie doesn't like it, not at all.
"Of course, Stephanie. But life is never easy, we are the ones who do our best to make it seem… easier." Tim shrugged and he pulled her closer than he ever did before.
Time… time is what Stephanie needed. More time with Tim. He's graduating and where exactly is she? Oh yeah, two years of high school to follow through.
It's hard enough that she's juggling her time with Tim along with everything else, now he's telling her that it'll all be easier.
Stephanie felt her heart pounding inside her chest. Her insides screaming and reaching out for Tim and everything else that has to do with him. She wanted him all to herself, and she needed everything that he could possibly give her.
It's making things more painful.
"How are you so sure?" She looked at him, eyes not moving up or down. It amused her that still up to this time, they're still as tall as each other. Neither's height ever really changing. It made her heart ache even more for him.
"I just am." He shrugged, keeping his calm posture and expression.
She ruffled his hair and laughed, "You would."
"Well, graduation is near." Tim exhaled and looked at the ground.
She remembered that time when she almost drowned at the beach. Her breaths are rapid and the water is slowly going into her system. The life getting sucked out of her little by little.
And that is exactly how it felt to look at Tim.
He stood up and held his hand out to pull her up from her seat. "Let's take a walk."
She stood up, knees weak and back hurting. So she pulled his hand to prevent him from walking away.
"Steph what—" She cut him off by hugging him tightly.
"I'm going to miss you, Tim. You've been a great… friend." She said. It was always like that, anyway. They're friends. Nothing more, nothing less.
What surprised her the most is that he's actually putting his arms around her as well. "Yeah. I'll miss you too, Steph."
That night, Stephanie went home with a heavy heart. Its two weeks away before Tim's graduation and her borrowed time is running out.
She sat alone in her room and there she was, dreading what could happen next.
/
She was sitting at the back of the crowd with her gold pin that he gave to her sometime last year. Their friendship is amazing. Built entirely upon trust and understanding, and she couldn't ask for anything ore.
He's the valedictorian, like he had always dreamed of. He cites his speech and she recalls him practicing in front of her during one of their weekend lunch meet ups.
"This year has taught me so much. I learned that there are a lot of opportunities that could come so abruptly, that you forget the fact that there are actually people who were there for you through thick and thin. That there will be people who will love you as you are." She swore his eyes found hers for a moment before looking away.
"High school has always been the part where you constantly think of what will happen next, what people would think of you, what you wanted to do. But at the end of the day, even if you tried so hard to change, you're still you. This was the hardest part for me since I've always been so thoroughly confused about what the hell I wanted to do with my life. But there are always people, people who would always help you through everything. And I'm thankful for them, I really am." And again, she took a deep breath as he focused on her, "High school isn't just about grades. It's about knowing who you are and the kind of people you want to be in your life. The ones that you never want to leave. And I found mine, I found the people I want to be in my life. I hope you all find yours too. Thank you very much." Cue the chorus of claps and cheers.
Tears formed in her eyes as she proudly looked at him who had never been so happy before in his life. The program ended earlier than expected and she found herself looking at him with hurt and pain radiating from her eyes.
"I made it." He said.
"You made it." She repeated, proudly.
"Not without you, Stephanie."
"Oh please. We all know you could have done it without me. I was just a distraction." She blushed.
Tim chuckled and pulled her in for a hug, "I'm going to miss you." He mumbles, his voice muffled as he buried his face at the crook of her neck.
"Me too, Tim. Me too." And she thought about the other things she would want him to know. How she'd miss him so much, how she would spend her days looking for him and be disappointed when she would realize that he's not there anymore, how she would miss the days where he'd smile at her and appreciate everything that she has done, and how she… how she loves him.
But she doesn't say anything.
One last look was shared, and then he was gone like the wind.