Like We Never Loved At All

Disclaimer: Not Mine!

A/N: My friend who wrote the beginning of The Affair wrote this. She loves this song and she wanted to write a songfic. If you didn't like that one, please don't judge her by it and give her a chance. If you still don't like it, you might want to rethink reading the rest of this.

Summary: Songfic. Song Like We Never Loved At All by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. It is a back and forth EO scandal. They sneak around with their feelings and then in the end they will come to realize that they are meant for each other. Not a ONESHOT!

Scene: Elliot's apartment. They have been dating for over a year. However, Elliot still hasn't finalized the divorce.

Elliot awoke to the feel of soft fingers running over his chest. He turned to look at the clock, which said 6:30. He groaned and stretched and wrapped his arm around Olivia, who was still stroking his chest.

"Good morning. I was wondering when you would wake up," she said as she snuggled her face into the crook of his arm. She wrapped her leg around his as he groaned again, still groggy.

"Lazy bum. You know we have work in two hours," she laughed. At this, Elliot rolled on top of her.

"You can't make me," he moaned. His hands wound themselves in her hair and pulled her into a deep kiss. She gasped his name as his hand cupped her breast.

"I love you, Elliot."

"I love you too."

An hour later, Olivia came out of the shower dressed and ready to go. She made her way into the kitchen, where Elliot was waiting with a mug of coffee. He handed it to her and pulled her into his lap for a kiss. She laughed and pushed him away.

"I'll go first this time. You know the drill, wait a half hour and leave."

Elliot nodded. "They'll figure it out soon enough, you know?"

"I know, but let's leave it alone for now." She kissed him once and left.

The day at the office went as usual. Some ass hole murdered and raped a little girl. Also, no one suspected a thing, unless of course, Fin and Jon's winks and nudges at Elliot account for something. Elliot got out of the precinct at around 9, before Olivia. He knew the exact way to her apartment. Luckily, he now knew the bellman personally. It was quite sad really. He went up seven floors, unlocked her door, and sat on her couch. He couldn't help but think of how overwhelmed he was by their arrangement. He loved Olivia more than anything, but he wanted all of her. He hated the sneaking and the lying. Plus, Elliot hadn't seen his kids in over two months. He couldn't do this much longer. Half of him was calling him a bastard and telling him that Olivia loves him and would do anything for him. The other was telling him that at the rate their relationship was going, what with the not telling anybody, that they wouldn't even be able to get married. Hell, he had gotten the ring 3 weeks ago. No, this couldn't go on, they couldn't keep…Elliot suddenly heard the key turn in the door.

"Elliot, I'm back. Sorry I'm so…what's wrong?" Olivia walked into the doorway and hung up her coat. She immediately sat down next to him.

"Liv, I can't do this anymore. I want to be with you. I don't care who knows. I need you to support me in the divorce and I don't think we can do that by lying."

"El, I…I need time. Things will go haywire if everyone knew. Jon and Fin are obsessed with us as it is, could you imagine the kind of ridicule we'd get if…"

"I don't care," Elliot interrupted. "I love you, we'd get through it."

"Give me another month, another week. You know I love you, but I need to sort things out in my head."

"This is it Liv, now or never." He pulled a ring out of his pocket. "Say you'll marry me now and I won't walk out that door."

"How dare you give me an ultimatum? You can't just spring this on me. We haven't even moved in together yet. I need to sort things out financially and…not now. I love you El, but not right now. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, Liv," and at that, Elliot got up and walked out the door. At the slam, Olivia burst out in tears. She slammed her fists on the couch in rage and frustration. It was only later, in bed that she curled up into a ball and wept.

LOVECHANGESEVERYTHINGHOWELIVEANDHOWWEDIE.

For the past two weeks, the only words that were spoken between Elliot and Olivia were work related and nothing more. However, every night, Olivia would cry herself to sleep. In the morning, she would see Elliot, looking as if he wasn't hurt at all. He would laugh with Fin and Jon, and converse with the captain. It hurt her all the more. The worst came when Casey took her to the bar to cheer her up. Casey was the only one Olivia told about the relationship. As they sat with Miller Lights in hand, they saw Elliot enter the bar with some "Floozy slut" (as Casey put it). That was the last straw that broke her back, she ran out of the bar crying.

You never looked so good
as you did last night,
underneath the city lights,
there walking with your friend,
laughing at the moon.
I swear you looked right through me.
But I'm still living with your goodbye,
and you're just going on with your life.

How can you just walk on by
without one tear in your eye?
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that's just your way
of dealing with the pain,
forgetting everything
between our rise and fall
like we never loved at all.