From the twisted mind that spawned .hack Resident Fangirl comes Star Ocean! LOL in space! You'll LOL … in your room! Unless you are reading this from space. If so, then you will LOL IN SPACE! BEGIN THE LOL!
Star Ocean! LOL in space …
Chapter 1: Full Nox! and
Attack of the chibi Luther!
Adray: (working on a machine)
Albel: Since when the hell could you do jack-shit!
Adray: Since the author decided to give me a bigger role! As of now Albel, I am supposed to make your life a living hell.
Albel: I'll cut you to ribbons before that happens.
Adray: Okay, just can you stand over there for a minute?
Albel: Whatever maggot.
Adray: (Presses button on machine)
Albel: (hit by some weird ray) WTF!!!!!!
Clair: Father, what are you doing?
Adray: I'm going to make an honest man out of Albel whether he likes it or not.
Albel: GOOD zzzzt LUCK zzzzt WITH zzzzzt THAT zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt
Clair: Please come up with a good reason soon before I am forced to smash some senses into you father.
Adray: To marry you of course.
Clair: BURN IN HELL OLD MAN!
Adray: WAIT WAIT WAIT! GAH!
Albel: HAH zzzzzzzzt HAH zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt
Clair: What is this machine any way?
Adray: It's a time/dimension travel machine!
Clair: Mind explaining?
Adray: It shall fling him to an alternate dimension in an alternate time!
Clair: … how did you make this?
Adray: I googled it.
Clair: … google?
Adray: No time for questions dear daughter! Now is the time to push the big red shiny button! Roger! Time for your big entrance!
Roger: Rally-Ho! (Presses button)
Albel: DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! (zapped to god knows where)
---Meanwhile---
Fayt: (Been playing Star Ocean: Till the end of infinity and beyond 30XXX for eighty hours straight) (foaming from mouth)
Sophia: You know we have our finals today.
Fayt: WHAT! No one told me this!
(A month ago)
Teacher: Finals in a month!
Fayt: (too busy playing Nintendo DSSSSSX)
(Now)
Fayt: OMLOMLOMLOML!
Sophia: o…m…l?
Fayt: That's internet slang for Oh my Luther.
Sophia: …
Fayt: (starts praying) Oh great and powerful creator! Grant me the knowledge to ace this test!
Sophia: …
Chibi Luther: (Pops out of nowhere) HAHA! I have returned from the rigorous training that made Leneth and Freya uber powerful!
Fayt: OML! IT'S LUTHER! AND HE'S CHIBI! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (chibi-phobia)
Sophia: … Well this explains why those pip-squeaks where so damn powerful …
Chibi Luther: HAHAHA! FEAR ME! I'M LEVEL 300!
Fayt: But the maximum level is 255.
Chibi Luther: I upgraded the system to allow up to level 300.
Fayt: To Sphere 255!
Sophia: (KOs Fayt) Finals first, sphere later.
Fayt: but…but…but…
Sophia: No buts!
Fayt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CHIBI LUTHER HELP ME! AHHHHH CHIBI! AHHHHHH!
Chibi Luther: … did he get dumber?
Sophia: Video games do that to a person.
Chibi Luther: HAHAHA! NOW TO EXACT MY REVENGE!
Sophia: (hit's Luther with a laser weapon with 8 ATK/DEF up by 30 and her short strong attack)
Chibi Luther: AAAHHH! (sent into space)
Sophia: Home run!
---school---
Fayt: Why did I take ancient Egyptian algebra again?
Sophia: Because I gave you a cookie.
Fayt: Oh…
Professor Farnsworth: Good news everybody, the copy machine is down.
Fayt: Yay!
Professor Farnsworth: So instead you will be using stone slabs and chisels.
Bender: Up yours!
Fayt: What! I don't have the kind of strength to do that!
Sophia: You have max ATK …
Fayt: Yeah! I'LL USE MY STRONG ATTACK! (Stone slab turns to dust) … I'm too strong …
Professor Farnsworth: Congrats Fayt, you fail.
Sophia: Hah, mages have low attack. (does final perfectly)
Fayt: THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS AGAINST ME!
Chibi Luther: ESPECIALLY ME! (breaks through ceiling)
Fayt: SIDE KICK!
Chibi Luther: DAMN INVINCIBILTY FRAME! (flies away)
Bender: Adios meat-bag.
Fayt: But I still failed my final…
Sophia: You still have other classes.
Fayt: Right!
(Next class)
Dr. Zoidburg: Hello everyone. For today's final you will operate on a human being.
Fayt: It's a squid.
Dr. Zoidburg: Right, what did I say?
Fayt: (failed)
(next class)
Fayt: I can't possibly fail this class!
Sophia: … Don't be so sure about that.
Fayt: This is PE! How hard can it be?
Sophia: … Fayt we don't have a PE class.
Fayt: Then what have I been doing this past year?
Sophia: Uhh…
(at the beginning of the year)
Gunther: Okay class, whoever is the last person out of this class gets to be my lab human all year.
(everyone runs out except…)
Fayt: (playing PSPSPSPSPSPSPSX) Huh?
Gunther: Human want a banana.
(present)
Fayt: That explains why he always gave me a banana.
Sophia: … Fayt those bananas where drugged.
Fayt: With what?
Sophia: You don't want to know.
Fayt: Huh?
(after final)
Fayt: I FAILED!?
Sophia: You sure did …
Fayt: How on earth could I fail PE …
Sophia: …
Chibi Luther: (Bursts in) REVENGE WILL BE MINE!
Fayt: STUN BOMB.
Chibi Luther: (seeing stars)
Sophia: Fayt lone me some money.
Fayt: Why?
Sophia: I'll get us some lunch. My treat.
Fayt: …
---Meanwhile---
Albel: (being warped across space/time/dimension) AHHHHH!
Adray: (watching it all on a monitor) Interesting.
Roger: Indeed.
Clair: (hits them both with a giant wooden mallet) Get him out of there.
Adray: Who said we can?
Roger: Huh? I thought that's what the giant green button is for.
Adray: SHHHHH!
Clair: (sees button)
Adray: WAIT CLAIR! Think! Why would you want to bring Albel back?
Clair: Well … you see … he …. On the other hand …well … (tries to think up a good reason)
(launch eighty minute long video showing all the instances where Albel has insulted someone)
Clair: LET HIM DIE!
Adray: Great. Then it's unanimous.
Clair: (takes controls) I'LL SEND HIM TO THE WORST PLACE ON ELICCOR II!
Roger: Uh oh.
Clair: (presses random buttons) SUFFER ALBEL SUFFER!
Albel: AHHHH! I HATE YOU ALL! (warped to somewhere) Where am I?
Whatever happened to predictability?
Albel: Yah! What ever did happen to predictability? Oh yeah, I killed him.
The milkman, the paper boy, evening TV
Albel: Huh? We're not talking about Pvt. Predictability.
Well if you miss your old familiar friends, they're waiting just around bend!
Albel: I hate my friends!
Everywhere you look! There's a heart! A hand to hold on to!
Albel: Hold my hand and I'll crush yours!
Everywhere you look! There's a place! Somebody who needs you!
Albel: People don't tend to rely on me.
If you're lost out there and all alone, a light is waiting to take you home!
Albel: Home!
Everywhere you look!
(back with Adray)
Adray: He's been warped to a TV sitcom from the 90s.
Roger: What's a TV sitcom from the 90s?
Adray: Only the best kind of TV alive!
Roger: … What's a TV?
Adray: Hell should I know.
Clair: It seems the sitcom in question is called Full House, a show about a father, his three daughters, his best friend, his brother-in-law, his brother-in-law's wife, and his brother-in-law's twin sons.
Roger: Geez! More like over maximum-capacity house.
Clair: And now Albel gets to join in on the fun of a hug-happy-go-luck family.
Roger: BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Wait, won't he tear them to shreds?
Adray: No! Because then he would be zapped.
Clair: … Okay
---Time for everyone's favorite show! Full Nox!---
Albel: What the hell.
Michelle: Oooh. You said a bad word.
Albel: F- (zapped) GAH! Who the f- (zapped). What the … WHO IS DOING THIS!
Michelle: I don't know.
Albel: It's you! (reaches for sword) (zapped) GAH!
Joey: Hey, a skirt. Just came back from Scotland?
(automated laugh track)
Joey: Oh c'mon. Cut – it – out.
Albel: I think I'm going to puke.
Jesse: You and me both brother.
(back with Fayt)
Sophia: How could you fail TV history?
Fayt: Shh! I'm watching Full Nox. I love this episode.
(on TV)
Michelle: Uncle Nox! Uncle Nox!
Albel: For the last time I'm not uncle Nox.
Michelle: Some guy is being mean to me.
Albel: I'll kill him!
(automated laugh track)
Michelle: But I kind of like him.
Albel: Oh great. Well tell him!
Michelle: But that would be embarrassing! Almost as embarrassing as you wearing skirts.
Albel: It's a sarong!
Michelle: Help me Uncle Nox.
(automated "Ahhhh" track)
Fayt: They don't make TV like this any more.
Sophia: Is that Albel?
Fayt: You must be losing it Sophia. Albel is on Elicoor II, not Full Nox. This a show back from the 1990s.
Sophia: How on earth did this show survive that long?
Fayt: It's that good.
Sophia: … sure …
Chibi Luther: (bursts through TV) Fayt! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF NAME IS FAYT!
Sophia: A Mary Sue name.
Fayt: Ahem…
Sophia: Fine, Gary Stu name.
Chibi Luther: Whatever the case I HAVE COME TO DESTROY YOU WITH MY NEW CHIBI POWERS! BEHOLD! CHIBI INSANITY PRELUDE! (destroys TV)
Fayt: (Gasp)
Sophia: Now you did it.
Chibi Luther: Huh?
Fayt: Luther! For the crime of destroying my TV I WILL KILL YOU?
Chibi Luther: Again!?
Fayt: That's right again! NOW! STAR OCEAN POWER HENSHIN! (dawns SO outfit)
Sophia: That was cheesy as all hell.
Chibi Luther: Bring it!
Fayt: HIYAH!
(One spectacularly cheesy fight later)
Chibi Luther: (breathing hard) You are strong! (speed racer style)
Fayt: You are too! (also speed racer styl)
Chibi Luther: Enough expository banter! It's time for me to use my ultimate transformation!
Fayt: You don't mean-
Chibi Luther: That's right! The Uber Chibi neko transformation!
Fayt: No! Something that cute and small would be unstoppable!
Chibi Luther: That's right. Not even Leneth or Freya could master this move! BEHOLD! UBERCHIBINEKOHENSHIN!
Fayt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-(over exaggerated Dragon ball z style)-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0000OOOOOOO!
Uber Chibi Neko Luther: (high pitched voice) HAHAHA! I am unstoppable!
Fayt: No it's not that.
Uber Chibi Neko Luther: Then what?
Fayt: Star Ocean Fangirls.
SO Fangirls: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEELUTHERXFAYTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Fayt: WHO THE HALL CAME UP WITH THAT PAIRING!
Uber Chibi Neko Luther: It's almost as messed up as FaytxAlbel … and FaytxCliff … What's up with you and being gay in fanfics?
Fayt: Shut Up!
Uber Chibi Neko Luther: Did I hit a nerve!
Fayt: Shut up and run before they take us to there dreaded fangirl city! Didn't you real .hack resident fangirl?
Uber Chibi Neko Luther: No.
Fayt: (runs like hell)
Uber Chibi Neko Luther: Hmm. (takes a quick moment to check fanfiction) … oh … AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
---and now back to Full Nox---
Danny: Dinner time.
Albel: Give me some dinner maggot!
Danny: Now Albel, can't you say that nicely?
Albel: (Sigh) Can I please have some dinner maggot.
(automated laugh track)
Joey: Oh, why is he a maggot and I'm still scum?
Albel: Because I hate you.
(more automated laugh track)
Joey: Awww.
Kimmy: Hey there Tanner-inos. How you doing there skirt boy?
Albel: Gibbler!
Kimmy: Skirt boy!
Albel: Scum.
Kimmy: Fashion killer.
Albel: Look who's talking!
Kimmy: Your talking.
Albel: DIE! (touches sword) (zapped) GAH!
Staphanie: What's with the fire works.
Danny: That's just Uncle Nox being Uncle Nox.
Albel: I hate you all.
---Not so very deleted scenes----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Fayt transforms)
Fayt: Luther! For the crime of destroying my TV! YOU WILL DIE!
Chibi Luther: Again!
Fayt: STAR OCEAN MORPHING TIME!...Pfft! HAHAHAHA! I can't do that with a straight face.
(take 2)
Chibi Luther: Again!
Fayt: STAR OCEAN! MOBOLIZE AND ROLL OUT!
Chibi Luther: … that doesn't make sense …
(take 3)
Fayt: STAR OCEAN POWER! MAKE UP!
Sophia: HAHAHAHAHA! Whose idea was that!?
Fayt: SHUT UP!
(Chibi Luther transformations)
Chibi Luther: That's right. Not even Leneth or Freya could master this move! BEHOLD! UBERCHIBINEKOHENSHIN! (turns into a cat)
Fayt: HAHAHAHA! Looks like you need more work. Y'know Sophia loves cat. You would make the perfect present!
Kitty Luther: NYA NYA NYA! (KITTY INSANITY PRELUDE!)
Fayt: GAAAAAH!
(Albel meets Kimmy)
Albel: What is this feeling of dread and chaos in the world.
Stephanie: Kimmy Gibbler.
Kimmy: Hola Tanner-inos. Who's skirt boy?
Albel: DON'T ADDRESS ME THAT WAY!
Stephanie: That's Uncle Nox.
Albel: I'M NOT UNCLE NOX!
Kimmy: Whatever the case consider putting on some pants.
Albel: No.
Kimmy: Well then get some better shoes cause that skirt does not go with those shoes.
Albel: Hah! Like you have any better fashion taste. It looks like you fell in some garbage.
Kimmy: You're almost as bad as Stephanie.
Stephanie: How rude.
Albel: AHHHH! THIS WORLD IS DIRVING ME CRAZY! (Zapped for no apparent reason)
fin