"Damn it all to hell and back." Narcissa's voice wasn't much more than a whisper, the moan after it pitiful. She'd given up trying to rise from the bathroom floor half an hour earlier, when it had become obvious that she wasn't going to be able to make it for more than a minute without feeling as though she was being ripped apart from the husband stood, his face contorted in that oh so familiar expression of disgust. He moved across the floor, shoes making soft clicks on the tile. One of the house elves had brought in a cloth and a dark silver bowl earlier and had set it on the counter at the master's instruction. He grabbed the cloth from it now, inhaled the scents of camomile and wild thyme. Crouching, he mopped her sweaty forehead. She sighed, a sound that seemed mean and irritated even to her ears, but she was beyond caring. Lucius knew how she really felt, that he wasn't really the man she wanted here, doing this.

"You're still convinced you'll be able to greet him - appropriately?" He drew the cloth back, rose to his full height again. Conveniently, when he placed the cloth back in the bowl to soak some more he turned just enough to miss seeing her retch yet again. Dutifully, he offered her a glass of water.

She took it and drank three quarters of it before she answered, swallowing so quickly that it looked like she hadn't had water for days. "You're the one who has been convinced of that this past week, Lucius, not me. I told you earlier - and it remains the same - I will attempt to. Though perhaps it would be better for him to come in here, and I can worship his very feet . He enjoys it so much after all."

His brow knitted furiously over stormy eyes and she nearly regretted the words. She knew that he wasn't a topic she should 'take lightly' as Lucius liked to put it, and perhaps he was right. But she didn't like having him in her house, under her roof, and felt that that gave her all the right in the world to express her feelings. If she couldn't do it when he was gone, then when? To keep herself from giving an insincere apology for her words, she clenched her hands into fists, let her nails bite at her skin.

"I had thought - hoped - to convince you that this isn't just important for me, Narcissa. It's important for us. For Draco."

Nothing about the child she was carrying now. Her temper flared as her thoughts flashed back, to her wedding night so many years ago. To the shock she had felt, not at the consummation, but at the sight of pale skin otherwise perfect ivory marred intentionally, defiled. To the surprise she had at discovering that to him, it was almost nothing. It was as though he had forgotten it was there, as if it had always been a part of him. She knew she shouldn't have been shocked, really, but she was. And she hated him for him.

"Yes, well. I know how important it is for you and I simply cannot bear the thought of doing something that might spoil your hard-prepared plans in the smallest bit. Which, let us be honest, is very likely in my state."

His lip curled but she was speaking again before he could get a word out.

"And to be honest, I don't really think he wants me of all the witches in attendance to be there. You said yourself before he and Bella left that I can barely contain my disgust in his presence. I wouldn't want to slip up and spoil your first meeting upon his return." If only his return would have happened later... She had so thoroughly enjoyed the two weeks that he and Bella had been gone, traveling around Russia. Doing what? Merlin only knows.

He moved so quickly that she almost didn't see him. One moment he was by the door and the next he was right in front of her, holding her right wrist in his left hand and her chin with his right. "Will it make you any more keen to come if I tell you Severus will be here tonight? Come and you can go play the happy little lovers before everyone, like you usually do."

She wrenched her wrist but he just tightened both holds on her. "We barely acknowledge each other beyond the necessities." Her tone was cold.

"Oh but I'm sure that that will change soon enough, when he finds out about you." He spun on his heel. "I'll make your excuses to the Dark Lord, but we will expect you at dinner. Don't be late; he hates waiting."

And then he was blessedly gone. She called for her elf - the one that Severus had sent, not the one Lucius preferred she use. "Bindi!"

The little elf showed up before her name was all the way out of Narcissa's mouth and sank into a deep bow, her nose touching the cold tile. The towel she wore was cleaner than that of the other elves, for Severus, surprisingly, was most insistent that his elves (he had had two, before giving her Bindi) keep themselves looking 'presentable' as he put it. "Yes, Mistress?"

Narcissa pulled her legs beneath herself and slowly stood, though she braced herself against the counter for a moment. "Tea, please. I'll take it in my study." She paused for a second. "And new ink; I believe I used all that I had."

The elf bowed once more. "As you wish, Mistress. Bindi wonders if you might wish for anything else?"

"That will suffice for the moment, Bindi." Bindi disappeared with a soft pop, and Narcissa walked the short way down the hall, to the small study Lucius had seen fit to give her. It was large enough for a desk and a chair before it, and a couch over by a large set of windows. The walls were lined with shelves, nearly all of which were filled with books. Piles of parchment covered half of the desk; the other side was currently bare. She sat down at it, opened a drawer to pull out the ledger she kept for the household accounts. Lucius could hardly be expected to bother with them much; when he did, he messed them up. To give him some credit, they were difficult - but she was able to master them and with constant upkeep, they weren't too big a trouble.

Bindi entered with a soft cough and poured her a cup of tea, then handed it to her. The elf waited until she tasted it before placing the ink on the desk and then looked at her dutifully. "That will be all for now, Bindi." The elf bowed again and disappeared, and Narcissa turned to her numbers.

She was done about an hour and a half later, and had no sooner returned the ledger to it's drawer then felt a gust of air on her face. She looked up to see a familiar owl perched upon it. Bigger than her barn owl, black and as dark a brown as could be, Holmes was one of the most angry looking creatures she had ever seen. It had taken him nearly a month to warm up to her, and even now he would occasionally cast her a look that chilled her or he would nip at her finger a little more harshly than was necessary. For the most part, he was as affectionate toward her as he was to his owner. As she untied the ribbon from his outstretched leg, she spoke to him. "I presume you're to stay and wait for my answer, Holmes?" He simply looked at her in response, and when his leg was free, flew up to the top of one of the bookshelves.

Narcissa read the letter slowly, glad she didn't have to try to hide her smile as she did so. When she was finished, she glanced toward the door and reinforced her wards. Picked up her quill, dipped it in the fresh ink, and began to write back.

"News from the host of the wizarding world's most hated? Not terrific. But then, when is it? The Dark Lord has returned this morning, as we knew he would. I so wish the time had gone by slower, as it was ever so lovely without he and Bella here. Although...if it had behaved as a snail, the hour of our reunion would feel even further away and I don't think that I could bear that. It has been hard enough as it is. I would love nothing more than to have back the days of summer, when you were here more often than not. The Manor is so much lovelier with your presence and I daresay you, too, are happier here. Even you must grow lonely at Spinner's End.

Dinner is to be at eight tonight, instead of the original seven. Though...I do encourage you to come early, as it may improve our master's mood. You often say that when he is happy, the Inner Circle is happy as well. So long as they see fit to stay under my roof, I want them as happy as possible. The less destruction I have to hear Lucius complain about, the better. I suppose that's the heart of the matter - I just don't want to hear him.

If coming early doesn't work, you could always bring Draco with you. That'll likely keep Lucius puffed up like a peacock. I can hear him now, "Look at my son. Knows right from wrong, truth from lies. Dumbledore's not ruined him like he has so many of them at the school." Anyway, I will see you soon, Severus."


He was in his office when his owl returned, letter both clutched in his talons and tied to his legs, as though he knew how much his owner anticipated the response from Narcissa. The window had been left open earlier, making his entrance all the easier, so Severus simply held his arm out when he saw his pupil looking behind him. Holmes' landed easily, stuck his leg out immediately. The wizard untied it swiftly, waited until the owl flew back to his usual perch above a cabinet by the door, then unrolled it to read the reply.

A mistake, of course, since Draco was still there.

"Sir? Are we done for the day?" Draco's voice was tinged with annoyance, which was what finally got the professor to look up at him. He'd asked the question three times now, and had gotten no response - and while it was an unusual thing for him to not get an answer from Snape the first time he asked something, it was even more unusual to be ignored three times. "I wouldn't ask, it's just that I've a meeting with Professor Umbridge soon, and I would hate to be late."

Severus looked up. His expression must have shown his annoyance, for he saw a change in the boy's face. Ordinarily, he wouldn't have called an end to the extra practice until Draco had mastered the potion for that day but this was not an ordinary day. And besides, there wasn't much more that could be done to their current brew until it had been allowed to simmer for twenty-four hours, so there was really no point in asking him to stay. With a wave of his hand, he looked back to the letter. "Give her my greetings and, in case of any dawdling on your part, my apologies for your tardiness."

"Thank you, sir." Draco's steps were quiet as he left the dungeon, leaving Severus in peace to read.

The wizard had just finished when he heard a knock on his door. He answered without looking up. "If you're wondering what time to come back tomorrow, Draco, I've already told you."

"I don't plan to come back tomorrow, and I'm certainly not Draco." Dumbledore stepped into the office, a slightly amused smile on his face. His robes rustled softly on the stone as he moved to the chair Draco had vacated just moments ago. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

Severus shrugged slightly as he rolled the parchment back up and set it down on his desk. "Not particularly."

"Then you won't mind my visiting for a bit. There are matters we need to address, and the sooner the better..."

By the time Dumbledore left, the potion's master was more than ready to leave the school. He was tired of Umbridge, tired of old codgers, tired of students. Tired of just about everything. The only thing he wasn't tired of, actually, was Narcissa. The letter from her had ensured she be on his mind from the moment Holmes had returned.

It had been three weeks since they had actually been able to see each other, to slip off quietly and do what lovers do. Three weeks too long. However unrealistic, he hoped to be able to make up for it tonight after the Dark Lord had had his fun preying on his followers at dinner.

He was surprised, when he arrived at the manor, that the door remained closed even after he stepped up to it. Usually he was permitted automatic entrance. He'd just raised his hand to knock when the door was flung open by none other than Narcissa herself - and he felt his expression soften at the sight of her. She had a sort of glow about her that he hadn't seen before; her smile at seeing him made her simply radiant. He gave her a small one in return, stepping forward and in as she stepped back, and then moving so that she could close the door behind him.

With a quick glance around, she closed the distance between them so that they were separated by a mere breath. Severus kept his gaze on her eyes with her movements, but when she came to a standstill he let his eyes fall to the soft swell of a mouth he knew so very well. His head bent slightly as his right hand rose as if of it's own accord, cupping the back of her head, and his left settled on her lips brushed softly once, twice, three times before he pulled back. "We shouldn't be doing this, not here."

Her eyes were glued to his. "There's nowhere else, not until after dinner."

Without comment, he nodded. Let her pull his head to her and gave her what she her bottom lip between his, let his tongue tease and let her taste. And all too soon heard footsteps. With a soft moan, he slid his hands from her and took a step back, turning just in time to see one of the many Death Eaters coming into the hall. They passed without comment and the couple let out breaths they hadn't even realized they were holding. "And speaking of dinner, we should probably go in. I imagine his mood will be most unpleasant if we keep him waiting."

"His mood toward myself is most unpleasant at the moment, anyway," she muttered.

He'd turned to move to join the rest of the group but at her words he whirled back around, pressed her back until she was against the door with nowhere else to go. And still he pressed on, so that against every inch of her there was an inch of him. "Narcissa."

The tone of his voice, deep and so soft, unleashed a flood of heat between her legs and his arousal, digging into her stomach, didn't help things either. "Yes, Severus?" Her own voice was breathless.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come early. I wanted to. But suffer through him, through dinner, and I will more than make it up to you after."


Several hours later, there was no doubt in either Severus or Narcissa's minds that the gathering had been worth sitting through, for they'd each had something to look forward to after. They couldn't always say that; lately, more often than not, Severus had had to leave immediately after to return to Hogwarts.

The thought of returning made him sigh heavily. As unpleasant as dealing with the Dark Lord was, it meant that he was away from Umbridge and closer to Narcissa. Their time together was limited, spread out, and often sporadic, but worth it. He felt the corners of his mouth turn up, recalling how she'd looked at him after they'd come together for the third time that night. She was practically glowing still, as radiant as he had ever seen her. Years ago, when they had met, he would not have imagined that this would be where their relationship stood; then again, he'd also thought Lucius was straight.

"I thought you said you were going to have to leave." She was unhappy, he could tell, and rightfully so. Wasn't he in the same spot? "You're rarely here this long."

"I did." They were on their sides, her back against his chest, but he sought out her hand. Their fingers interlaced without thought, as though it had always been that way, and he squeezed her hand gently. "But I've sent a message saying I've been taken ill and all my classes are to be cancelled tomorrow. The students will hardly complain and neither, I dare say, will you."

"Mmm." It was a happier tone than she'd used just seconds ago.

"I was watching you at dinner. You barely ate anything."

"My appetite was for other things, as you very well know." She rolled over so she could see Severus as they spoke. "Besides, I find it hard to eat anything in his company."

He arched a brow, clearly not convinced. "You didn't drink anything either... and I've only ever seen you abstain from that once."

"Perhaps I just didn't want anything," she said stiffly. The shift in her attitude was immediate; she was clearly nervous and irritated simultaneously.

"Cissa…"

"If you're so observant then surely you know why," she snapped, rolling over and standing from the bed. Arms wrapped around herself, she strode toward the window and stood looking out over the Manor's grounds rather than risk a glance behind her at Snape. He was a brilliant wizard, he would have worked it out before this conversation, but she couldn't bear to meet his eyes if they were to continue this conversation.

"You were pregnant, with Draco." His voice was measured and even; she couldn't gauge his reaction from it.

"Yes." This wasn't how she had imagined he would find out, wasn't how she wanted to have this conversation. She could hear her voice trembling. "And now another child."

The news shocked him, but he could not pretend he didn't feel a thrill at the thought - a thrill along with an overwhelming sense of responsibility on a magnitude he was not prepared for. Slowly, so as to not give the witch a chance to move away, he slipped from the bed and padded quietly across the floor to her. He didn't speak until he was holding her hands. "You're sure?"

"Sure?" She laughed, even through the tears she couldn't hold back. "Yes, I'm sure. And -"

The rest of her words were shut out as he pulled her into a deep kiss.

He'd never imagined himself as a parent, but one thing was for sure: Narcissa had made him happier than he'd ever thought he would be in a world that was falling apart around him.


a/n; I am still considering making this a multi-chapter. Input on that is appreciated, preferably via pm. Thank you!