a/n: remember that joke episode where kagura pretends to be sick and everyone held a funeral for her? i'm a sap and that hospital scene gave me too much feelings.

let's just pretend that it takes place before shinpachi and everyone else came running at her room when kagura got into a 'coma' okay. so it's during the coma but before everyone started visiting. enjoy!

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The summer heat manages to reach even through her window. Ironically, it's the one thing giving her the most comfort in this depressing atmosphere.

She wakes up. The doctor and the others are gone except for Gin-chan.

They say she's dying. No, actually she gave them that idea. Okay, maybe it was a little too much to pretend a summer cold for something stupid like a fake yato disease. Maybe she was damn good actor but how on earth has no one's figured out the truth yet! They were morons. All of them are big morons. When this is all over she's going to yell that at their big stupid dumb faces to make her point clear.

Gin-chan's punching that stupid wall for comedic affect again. After a second or two, Kagura realizes that there was no punchline.

Her fingers feel too heavy to even lift and she's been sweating like hell really is coming for her, ever since this stupid breather was stuck to her mouth. She's tired, so so tired but closing her eyes is too much work right now. She feels like vomiting all over again probably from indigestion but she doesn't want to freak Gin-chan out more than she already has.

There's this sound of a chair screeching closer and louder. Through the corner of her eyes she sees Gin-chan take his seat and reaching his hand over to lean over her forehead.

"H-Hot!" He closes one eye and gives a grin. "Heh. Geez, you're burning up. If I hadn't known better, you'd only be in a fever or something."

Yes! That's exactly it! It really is the cold! Perfect, now's her chance to-

Gin-chan lets go and then there's this few seconds of quiet. There's something in the air that she couldn't quite get that just doesn't feel right.

"Oi, Kagura. You're not dying, right?"

She's not. She's really not. It's really only the fever. Please notice it. Dammit, she's getting cold feet. The tension's too heavy to admit it and it's starting to scare her. She tries not to think of bed rests and pretty blue eyes and blood and it's stupid because-

"That baldy's going to kill me," A pause. "maybe I should've left you with your dad when I had the chance, after all huh?"

Gin-chan has this look where he's just smiling at nothing.

And suddenly her stomach churns. That is the exact same look he has whenever he's spacing out or waking up from a nightmare where he's pretending he's okay Kagura stop being a creep and go back to sleep, oi because anything that makes Gin-chan look this sad is terrible and he sure as hell isn't gonna cry but that doesn't mean he's going to be okay for the next few days either. She feels terrible.

She feels her hand being moved, and Gin-chan's not holding it really, just. Patting. At her hand. Like how someone would try to cheer up a kid who's been crying all day but too awkward and scared to just hug them and tell them it's okay just the way his stupid big brother used to-

Hot, salty tears are pricking at her eyes for no reason out of nowhere and she can't even hold it in. She blames the stupid white walls. Maybe she should punch it too.

"Guess you're awake after all."

Kagura stiffens, that sick dread washing over her like a ghost. She's caught in her lie and at this point she doesn't even care anymore because atleast she can finally stop lying and they'll all be laughing again. Before she can even say anything back, Gin-chan smiles wider (but it's still not right) before adding, "that's okay, I'll pretend you can really hear me, okay?"

What the hell does that even mean?

Before she knows it, Gin-chan takes a deep breath and talks about how this other day he had at the pachinko parlor and how he's got to stop gambling and that's why their pay is going to be late again and he's really sorry about it and promises he'll do better next time where he'll start working harder and he's really sorry about taking her umbrella but if she could just wake up to smack him on the head right about now please because he's really, really sorry. Oh no, this is it. This is the perfect moment to become magically better all of sudden, but she's too busy trying not to cry even more.

It's not funny anymore. She doesn't want to see this side him of him ever. Gin-chan doesn't do weird things like opening up. Gin-chan yells and makes stupid jokes. Not saying sorry and being stupid.

She opens her mouth to speak, but Shinpachi is already slamming the doors open. Crying.

Too late. Again.

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a/n: that hospital scene was too intense and you know it

would you believe me if I said that the first half of this was actually written when the exact episode came out? no? that's okay me neither.

sooo i'm actually catching up on the anime and then I thought, 'hey i really miss writing fics' so i stopped watching and looked for a fic to finish. awesome right? anywayy. yeah, come yell at me on my tumblr or twitter to talk to me about fandoms or anything really. feel free to yell headcanons or fic ideas too

please review and advanced happy new year!