A Captain, Reborn

by JadedMagick143

**Spoilers for Blackwall's storyline, just saying** I really wanted to give my own twist on Rainier's trial, especially since he was the one I chose to have a romance with, and I love him. After he's freed, the Inquisitor and Blackwall continue their conversation on what comes next in a more private setting.

Lavender eyes cracked open slowly; she'd been dreading this day since she had told Cullen to arrange it. The movements of her morning routine- washing, dressing, arranging her short hair into something neat, even the light touch of make-up- were practically mechanic. As if she were in a dream, every step seemed Vixas took seemed to be taken on air. One misstep, one wrong word, and she would fall.

But falling was not an option. Falling had never been an option. She couldn't let the Inquisition down; she couldn't let him down, no matter how betrayed she felt. And so, with her mind solidly fixed on moving forward, Vixas gave herself one final look in the mirror, ensuring she was all put together. Satisfied, she turned on her heel, angling toward the stairs to leave her quarters.

The whispers and gossip in the main hall silenced as the Inquisitor stepped in, shutting her door firmly. She kept her eyes trained ahead on her throne, ignoring the auras of pity, disgust, judgment. Falling is not an option, Vixas reminded herself, squaring her shoulders and walking with head held high, sitting on her throne and waiting for the inevitable.

For a brief moment, she had to wonder if the guards were over enthusiastic about delivering this prisoner or if they had simply been waiting outside, for when she raised her hand, signaling that the prisoner be brought in, mere seconds had passed before the familiar sound of heavy chains reached the ears of those gathered. A short time later, they entered the main hall. Four guards: one leading, one following, and two escorting him on either side. And, of course, in the middle, Blackwall.

Rainier, Vixas corrected herself silently. Thom Rainier. He'd never truly been Blackwall. In a rapid flash of images, she recalled the warmth of his lips over hers, the roughness to his hands as they slid across her pale flesh, a ragged voice whispering her name. She shook her head, ridding the memories of their last night together before Blackwall had vanished as she'd slept.

The crowd was silent as Rainier lumbered down the aisle, the heaviness of his tread resonating in Vixas's heart with each footstep. She ached as she watched him. No longer was he the confident, strong man with a heart that could withstand the vile corruption that nearly all other Wardens fell to. Now, he walked with his head low, his shoulders hunched, looking every bit as dejected and hollow as a man still sitting on death row. When they reached the bottom of the the steps before her, Rainier was gently pushed to his knees, and his wrists, bound together by heavy manacles, lowered until his fingers brushed the carpet before him. He looked up at Vixas, and she nearly flinched seeing his once lively eyes darkened and empty.

Josephine stepped forward, clearing her throat. Her normally professional voice faltered as she began her speech. "For… judgment this day, Inquisitor, I must present Captain Thom Rainier, formerly known to us as Warden Blackwall," the ambassador said gravely. "His crimes… well, you are aware of his crimes."

Vixas closed her eyes for a moment, and a hush fell over the court. His crimes. Treason. Murder. A lump began to rise in her throat, but she swallowed hard and took a deep breath before opening her eyes. Josephine continued. "It was no small expense to bring him here, but… the decision of what to do with him is now yours."

There was no point in asking him to plead his case. When they'd spoken in Val Royeaux, he had made his purpose clear- he would hang for his crimes, to assuage the guilt that had been building since the very second he heard the voices of the children. The children that he hadn't known would be part of the traveling caravan he'd ordered his men to slaughter. And they had. His wanted no forgiveness, and he felt he deserved the worst. "I didn't think this would be easy," Vixas admitted quietly. "But it's harder than I thought."

If possible, Rainier seemed to sink into himself further. "Another thing to regret," he said in a voice laced with pain. "Whatever you paid, it wasn't worth it. I know you put another man in my place. Haven't enough died for me?"

"I really think you've lost the right to judge anyone." Immediately, she regretted the anger and blame in her words, but to her surprise, Rainier didn't back down.

"There's enough evil in the world because of me. I accepted my punishment. I was ready for all this to end. Why would you stop it?" Words of a desperate man, and as Rainier met Vixas's anguished gaze with a hardened one of his own, the fight seemed to leak from his body once more. His voice was nearly inaudible when he spoke again. "What becomes of me now?"

Vixas paused before answering. Not for some dramatic effect, nor to make him wait and squirm. She took a moment to weigh her decision, one she knew would carry profound judgment. In an instant, she could think of a number of people would may very well leave the Inquisition based on it. But she'd discussed the matter, both with Dorian and Varric at length. Though a difficult choice to make, they both agreed it was the right one. "You have your freedom," Vixas said, raising her voice to ensure the pardon would be heard by everyone around.

Rainier's face exuded astonishment. "It… no. It's cannot be as simple as that." The guards stepped away from him at a signal from Vixas, and he rose to his feet.

"It isn't," Vixas agreed, rising as well. "You're free to atone as the man you are. Not as the traitor you thought you were or as the warden you pretended to be." There was the slightest bite at the word warden, but her voice softened toward the end.

Now a free man, Rainier took a shaky step forward. "It will take time," he admitted. "You would accept that? And what I used to be?" In slow movements, he began to walk up the short steps toward where Vixas stood. The chains rattled, reminding her of just how arduous of an ordeal this had been… for both of them. "I lied about who I was, but I never lied about how I felt. No matter what I was, or what becomes of me, right now, I'm just a man with his heart laid bare. I leave it in your hands."

The silence in the great hall was deafening. Vixas's breath caught in her throat at Rainier's proclamation. They had kept their relationship as private as they possibly could, but gossip spread like wildfire through Skyhold. While the pair certainly weren't caught making lewd displays of affection in public, most everyone knew that the Inquisitor and the Grey Warden were involved to some extent. Like schoolchildren, they all stared, waiting to hear what her response would be to such a public confession.

"A word, R-Rainier," she said softly, stumbling over the name. "In private." Her expression remained stoic as she moved aside, gesturing for the guards to release him from his chains. The man was no longer a prisoner; he shouldn't have to be bound as one. Rainier's fingers delicately traced the redness around his wrists as they were freed, but his gaze never left the elf before him.

"My lady," he murmured, opening the door that led to her quarters, and following her up. The door shutting behind them echoed loudly in the antechamber, solidifying just how alone they were.

She didn't speak until they were in her room, and even then, she simply watched him for a moment. He stood at the top of her stairs, eyes following her as she circled the room, walking out to her balcony. While he debated waiting, he'd never been a patient man, and he'd shown little ability to stay away from Vixas from the day she recruited him. He followed.

It was there, standing on her balcony, that she finally responded to him. Her breath made small clouds in front of her as she spoke. "You were ready to die, but I wasn't ready to let you go." Vixas turned, shivering slightly. She met Rainier's gaze, and her entire body reacted, as if he could see through her armor and into her very soul. "Your place is here. With me."

Rainier sighed, moving away slightly and letting out a groan of frustration. He stepped back toward her stairs, as if preparing to leave, but Vixas, a trained assassin, was by his side in a flash, gripping tightly to his arm. "Don't." It was one word, but it held years' worth of his shame and despondence. He didn't pull away from her grip, but he certainly wasn't moving any closer to her. "I don't know how to be with you as Thom Rainier."

"You said you didn't lie about how you felt. Go with that." Vixas took a small step to the side, attempting to shift herself into Rainier's line of sight. The subtle movement made him glance up, instinct compelling him to make sure she was safe. "Did that night mean nothing to you? Do you not care for me?"

"Care for you?" Rainier's voice, so hollow just seconds again, was now ragged and tight. "I care for you more than I can say. That night showed me what I want my future to look like. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms every night." He moved back, away from the stairs, instead turning toward Vixas and stepping closer to her. For each step he took forward, she took one back, angling toward her wall. "I want to wake up every morning to you, I want to spend the rest of my days with you. We don't know what will happen with Corypheus, but if we lose this fight, if one of us… if we can't be together after this, I don't want to live regretting the time we could have had."

Vixas stopped as she hit the wall, tilting her head up and rising on her toes. One of Rainier's hands pressed against the stone above her shoulder, and the other slid forward to grip her waist. "Then why do you keep leaving me?" she whispered, her own hands sinking into his thick brown hair.

Rainier shook his head, the hand on the wall curling into a fist. The fingers on her waist bit into her skin as his grip tightened for a moment before relaxing. "I can't stay away from you. I try. You deserve better than me. I've made terrible decisions, and I'm trying to fix them. But you could have such a bright future without me holding you down. So I leave. I walk away. I tell myself that you'll be better off, that you'll move on. But then you smile. And you look at me in just that way, and I crumble. You make me a better man, but Maker's breath, you make me weak." Straightening up, he shifted his hand from the wall to cup Vixas's face, coarse hands surprisingly gentle against her cheek. "Inquisitor. Vixas. Vhenan." The word tore the breath from her lungs. She couldn't imagine where he'd learned the Elven term, but it was one often used between Dalish who pledged their lives to one another. My heart. "I love you. I love every part of you. And it may be selfish and wrong of me, but I don't want to walk away from you. Not ever."

"Then stay with me," Vixas said, barely managing to finish her sentence before Rainier's lips descended upon hers. There had always been a gentle side to Rainier, something just beneath the surface that proved there was more to him than a vicious warrior. It was the same side that brushed fingers against her skin in a way that left her unsure if he'd actually touched her. The same side that traced her scars softly before pressing kisses against them, as if to erase the bad memories correlated with them. The same side that made Vixas fall for him over and over again.

Pressing back against the kiss, Vixas tightened her fingers in Rainier's hair, and that subtle encouragement was enough for the warrior. He loosed a groan of approval, sliding his hands lower to lift her. Slender legs wrapped tightly around his waist, and one of Rainier's palms spread over her back to hold her still. A few steps, laden heavily with desire, and the couple tumbled onto her bed, lips moving more fiercely against one another. The movements were frenetic- intense and tumultuous as teeth clashed and hands wandered. The layers of clothing they both wore served to keep them safe, but made undressing quite the process.

But despite Rainier's propensity for zeal, for fast movements and immediate results, the man executed each action with steadfast patience. He bit lightly on Vixas's lip, drawing out the motion as he pulled himself up to hover over her lithe form. Fingers undid each button of her top slowly before he slid the fabric down her arms and pulled it from beneath her. Tossing it aside, he tugged up the hems of her shirt and undershirt, dipping low to brush his lips across the pale skin that peeked out. Her breath caught in her throat, and her arms reached up to entangle themselves in the unmade sheets. "Blackwall," Vixas whispered, pleading in her tone.

"Thom," came the husky response. With anyone else, he may have needed to say more. He may have needed to explain why being called Blackwall now cut him to the quick. But there was already an understanding between the two of them, and the soft correction would be the only reminder she needed. Her shirts came up higher and joined her jacket on the floor, leaving her in just her bra and pants. "Maker's breath. Are you a dream?"

There was reverence behind his words, and Vixas couldn't quite blame him. Just last week, he was behind bars, set for execution, and now… "This is all real, Thom," she murmured, leaning up on one arm to capture his lips once more. He put up no resistance, hands sliding behind her as they rolled over until it was Vixas hovering over Rainier. For a few minutes, they stayed in that position, Rainier sprawled back against her covers, Vixas straddling his hips. The hand bearing the Anchor rested on his chest, while the other traced the weary lines etched into the planes of his face. "You bear the tired marks of a man well past his prime."

Rainier's hand came up to catch her wrist, halting her exploration. "Nothing about me is past any prime," he said. A surprisingly roguish smile turned up the corners of his lips. "Could prove if you'd let me." For a moment, Vixas allowed herself a smile. The offer was tempting, as was the growing hardness she could feel beneath her. But there were still too many layers in the way, and she ached to touch Rainier the way he could touch her. She wriggled her hips playfully, entertained at the way his breathing became shallow for a moment, before moving her hands to his thick jacket. She undid each buckle with the same slow care that he'd exhibited with her earlier. Each piece of fabric she pulled off of him joined the growing pile on the floor, until finally his chest was bared before her. Dark curls of hair covered his chest, thinning toward the bottom and leaving his stomach, muscles quivering in anticipation, barren.

For a moment, they didn't move. Grey-blue eyes focused like a laser on Vixas's expression as she took in the sight. They'd been intimate once before, but it had almost been a blur. What started as a drink at the tavern turned into more than a few pints, and the couple had retired to the stables. Just as the first time they'd kissed, Rainier… Blackwall, had tried to push Vixas away, justifying it by claiming they'd have no real future with him as a Warden. But she'd pushed back just as hard, refusing to let go. And now, with everything in the open, no secrets between them, they stood on a precipice. No time like the present to jump.

Slender fingers lighted on Rainier's chest, and Vixas's nails gently scratched against the coarse hair. His eyelids fluttered, and a quiet moan slipped past his lips. Her hands traveled lower, eliciting a quiet hum when she reached bare skin. His abs were toned, and they twitched beneath her touch. Another dark patch of hair trailed beneath the waistband of his pants, and Vixas felt her face deepen from her normal pale to a dark red. She glanced up, heated gaze locking with Rainier's matching one, and began to undo the buckle of his pants. Before she'd left her clan, she had trained as a healer. Undressing men and women came naturally to her. She made swift work of his pants, curling her fingers into the waistband and climbing off his hips to lower them. Rainier sat up as she did, following her as she knelt on the floor before him.

For too long, he'd treated her as a goddess, holding her as if she were fragile, kissing her as if he were unworthy. And while neither would attest that he'd made terrible mistakes in his life, he atoned for them, and he would work toward being a better man in the future than he'd been in the past. If anyone deserved reverence, it was Rainier. Vixas glanced up at him, offering a small smile, before removing his boots and placing them aside. She tugged his pants the rest of the way down, tugging his socks off as well, leaving him in nothing more than thin fabric covering his upper thighs and what lay between his legs. Her face heated up again- this time with desire- when she saw the pitched fabric, and she stood up. Just out of his reach, Vixas stripped out of the rest of her clothing, giving her own clothes and boots little regard.

From the look on Rainier's face, one would think he'd seen the Divine come to life. "Ma vhenan," he murmured, reaching out for her waist and pulling her back into his lap. Her breasts were warm against his chest, nipples hardening at the contact as one of his hands slid between her legs. She was slick, wet and waiting, and one of Rainier's fingers slid inside of her, wresting a guttural moan from her throat. Their lips hovered just inches apart, and he closed the distance between them, laying her back against the bed in a quick motion that left her breathless. The one finger inside her quickly became two, and they curled and teased, drawing her to a height of ecstasy they hadn't reached previously.

When he finally pulled away from the kiss, her teeth dug into her lip as she tried to quell the moans that were bubbling, but Rainier knew what he was doing, and they slipped out just the same. His thumb circled the small bundles of nerves just above her entrance, and Vixas writhed at his touch. She reached up, gripping his shoulders and digging her nails into his skin, laughing breathily when she was rewarded with a soft hiss of pleasure. "Thom," she whispered. "Please… I need more."

"Patience, my lady," he responded, his breathing just as ragged as hers. His head lowered again, this time allowing him to draw one of her nipples between his lips and suck lightly. Leaving one hand on his shoulder, the other moved higher into his hair, and Vixas tugged the dark locks. Rainier dragged his teeth across her soft flesh in acknowledgment, and he shifted to the opposite breast. All the while, his fingers continued to indulge her, and she could already feel her body tensing. Her hips raised, and Rainier gently pushed them back down, holding her still while he continued his welcomed assault. The orgasm came over her quickly, and with a soft cry of elation, her release crashed over her. For his part, Rainier's lips and fingers didn't let up until her body quieted again, and he withdrew his fingers, shifting to lay beside her. Gentle kisses were pressed along her collarbone to her neck, her jaw to her cheek, before finally, he turned her head to capture her lips in a surprisingly soft kiss.

Panting, Vixas stared at him with wide eyes, but she couldn't stop the smile that turned up the corners of her lips. "You're wonderful," she told Rainier. She turned onto her side, pressing herself closer to him so she could begin to return the favor. Droplets of sweat covered most of his body, likely due to the exertion he'd been putting in to keep himself from taking her the way she expected he was aching to. "But I hope you don't think we're finished just yet."

Rainier's responding laughter was gentle, almost playful. "Must not have done my job right if I haven't exhausted you." Still, he gave no resistance as she placed a hand on his chest, pushing him to lay back. Straddling one of his muscled thighs, she tugged his only remaining article of clothing off, trailing her fingers along his legs. She dipped down, ghosting her lips along the skin of his inner thighs, higher toward the thick length that had been, thus far, neglected. Eyes flicked up as she curled one hand around it, and when she saw his eyes roll back slightly, she leaned down to wrap her lips around the appendage. A deep, guttural moan made its way out of Rainier's throat, and Vixas smiled to herself.

Her tongue and lips moved along the length of his cock, her touches light and teasing. The intention wasn't to make him finish the way he'd done for her, but to excite him, to tease him, to draw the sensuality out longer until neither of them could stand to be apart for another minute. And while every flick her tongue made against the head of his cock, with every stroke she gave to the hardened length, with every swallow that tightened her throat around the sensitive skin, Vixas could feel and hear Rainier approaching that limit.

Despite that, she wasn't expecting his hand to rough grip what little hair she had on her head, tugging her up to crash their lips together in a frantic kiss. She sank into it with the ease of someone who kissed him daily, and the realization made her stomach churn with excitement. He was right; neither of them knew how this fight with Corypheus was going to end. They could both die, they could both survive or one of them could be forced to live their life without the other. There was no time like the present to begin their lives together. Rainier's fingers shook slightly as they trailed down her slender body, touching her with fingertips that left her nerves blazing in their wake. Vixas adjusted herself, positioning herself so that when she lowered her hips, Rainier's cock slid into her with ease. Her hands were settled on his chest, and as he stretched her out, her fingers curled, nails digging into his skin. Rainier's hands found their way to her hips, guiding her lower until there was nowhere else for either to move.

For a moment, the couple paused, breathing heavily, lavender eyes locked with blue-grey. Then, with a sudden movement, Rainier lifted Vixas with ease, pulling her back down on top of him. Vixas let out a sharp cry, but it roused her into action, and she mimicked the gesture. With a ferocity and desperation that she didn't know she had in her, she rode his cock, moving her hands to his wrists long enough to pin them back against the mattress. From their positions, and with their difference in strength, Rainier could have easily broken her hold, but he allowed the domination. Pinning his wrists down forced her to lean forward, and it granted him the ability to wrap his lips around the nipples that hung just above his lips.

Vixas moaned deeply, and the combination of lips and tongue on her breasts made a shudder run through her body. Rainier's hips moved in sync with his partner's, rocking their bodies together passionately. Their first time making love, while clumsy through the drunken haze, had been sweet. Intense, but sweet. The second time that night had been fast and dirty, almost vulgar. It was shortly after the second time that the pair had fallen asleep. But now? There was no need to be slow and discover one another's bodies, and there was no pressure to move fast, as Rainier no longer had a sword hanging above his head. They took their time now, passion taking hold to direct their movements.

She could feel the familiar heat coiling in her belly, and she leaned down farther, pulling her nipple from Rainier's mouth. The man's eyes widened in protest, but he was preemptively silenced when she covered his lips with her own. She released her hold on his wrists, enabling Rainier to wrap his arms tightly around her waist. He held her still above him, using the opportunity to thrust himself upwards into her. Vixas breathed heavily through her nose, breaking the kiss only when she had to inhale deeply. She trailed her lips along the curve of his jaw toward his ear, nipping at the skin and sucking it between her teeth. Rainier groaned against her neck, renewing his movements with vigor. "I… Thom… I'm almost… I can't… I'm going to-"

Vixas's words were cut off as Rainier slid a hand from her waist and between them, one of his fingers circling the small bundle of nerves that waited there. She cried out, burying her face against his neck, planting kisses and sucking on the skin. When she finished, she came hard and loudly. Her entire body shook with the effort of holding herself up on her forearms, and she felt just the slightest relief when Rainier followed seconds later. Warmth seeped through her entire body as his movements slowed, and Vixas lowered herself to lay across Rainier. Within seconds, they were both asleep.

Hours passed before Vixas woke, and she sat up with a quickness that startled Rainier out of his own dreaming. "What's wrong?" he asked sluggishly, wrapping his arms around her waist again and pulling her back down to him. She settled for a moment, warm and happy in his embrace, before sitting up once more.

"Thom, we have to get up," Vixas said, gesturing around them. "It's nearly dark out."

This time it was Rainier who sat up quickly. "Maker's balls," he groaned. "How did no one come looking for us? Well, for you anyway."

Vixas had her own theories on that, and she silently reminded herself to thank Josephine later. She couldn't imagine how much the woman must have done to keep everyone and anyone out of Vixas's quarters. "I imagine they found some other way to entertain themselves for the day." She stood up, immediately noticing the mess across her thighs, sheets and Rainier's stomach. "And it would seem we could both do with a hot bath. Join me?" She stretched her hand out, and when the once-Warden took it, she laced their fingers together and led him to the washroom attached to her quarters.

They bathed, passing the time with light conversation and laughter. She'd missed him, and she hadn't realized just how much until this moment. After they were cleaned, dried and redressed, Vixas led him down the stairs and out to the grounds. The rest of the Inquisition stared, looking away only when they caught Vixas or Rainier staring back at them. While they hadn't discussed a destination, neither was surprised when they came to pause in front of the stables. "So what happens now?" Rainier asked. "With me? With us?"

"Life continues," Vixas answered easily. "I won't pretend I'm not angry. Not because of your past, but because of how you handled it in your present. You can't tell a woman in one breath that you want to be with her, and then abandon her in the next." Rainier flinched, and he opened his mouth to argue, but she pressed her forefinger to his lips. "I'm not finished."

Turning on her heel, Vixas led the way into the stables, fingers brushing the manes of the horses as she passed them. A fire roared in the hearth inside, and she stopped in front of it, looking at Rainier again. "You left me. You left me to turn yourself in for a crime you committed, a crime you expected to be hanged for. And while I can respect that you wanted to own up for your actions, I can't respect you trying to take the easy way out with me. I deserved better than that from Blackwall, and I expect better than that from you, Thom Rainier." She moved closer, hands rising to press against his chest. "But I love you. I'm angry, but I can forgive you, and I can move on. Because life continues. For both of us. For us. Just promise me that if you plan on turning yourself over to the executioner again in the future, you'll tell me first so I can kiss you goodbye."

For the first time in as long as she could remember, a true smile lit up Rainier's face. "I promise," he murmured, dipping his head to capture her lips in a brief kiss. "You still want me here, as part of the Inquisition then? As a warrior, if not as a Warden."

"I do," Vixas said, certainty in her tone.

"Then here I shall stay," Rainier said. "Though I have a request. I've… grown accustomed to being called Blackwall over the years. If not my name, could we continue to call me Blackwall as a title? If in the midst of battle, you were to shout Thom or Rainier, I can't be sure I'll respond."

Vixas nodded, moving ever closer to the warrier. "We can have that arranged. I'll ensure our friends know. It'll be your job to inform anyone else who still insists on calling you Rainier." Her arms wrapped around his torso, and Vixas pressed her cheek against Blackwall's chest. "I love you," Vixas said in a soft voice. "I'll always love you. And I need you here, with me, by my side."

"And I, you, ma vhenan," Blackwall responded gently, returning her embrace.

The term gave her pause as it had before, and from her position against his chest, she scrunched her eyebrows together. "Blackwall… where did you learn that? Vhenan. It's an Dalish term; I can't imagine many non-Elven folk are familiar with the language."

A low chuckle shook Blackwall's body, and his head tipped to brush a kiss across the top of Vixas's head. "The elf. Solas. I asked him if there was something I could call you that might remind you of home, and he suggested that. What's it mean?"

This time, it was Vixas who laughed. "You've been calling me vhenan this whole time without knowing the meaning of it?" She laughed again. "And what if he'd told you to call me a horrid troll?" For this, Blackwall had no answer, but a sheepish grin passed over his face. Vixas leaned back so she could look him in the eye when she answered his question. "It means 'my heart'. Ar lath ma, vhenan."

Blackwall frowned in confusion. "And that translates to…?"

Vixas hopped out of his embrace, skipping just beyond his reach. "We've an extensive library, Blackwall. Some reading and studying may do that brain of yours some good." He stepped forward to grab her again, but she skipped back once more. Blackwall growled playfully, darting forward to catch her. But Vixas was fast, and for every step he took, she took two away. "You'll have to be faster than that to catch me."

With a laugh, and a teasing wink, Vixas dashed away, keeping in Blackwall's view but out of reach. Skyhold held many places that the pair had yet to see together, and she was only too happy to keep that smile on his face for just a moment more.