Chapter One

The team was at Stark Towers by the bar Tony had just recently installed. Clint was making drinks and handing them to Bruce who then took them to the respectable person. Everyone else was lazying about, sprawled over one couch or another and talking as a rerun of Friends played quietly in the background. Everyone except Peter was in loungewear (something about a secret identity) but he didn't mind. The spandex were actually quite comfy, something Peter speculated had to do with Tony.

Said man was currently engaged in a good natured argument with Steve, probably over something entirely pointless. Peter smiled as he watched them from across the room. This was good for Tony to relax and hang with other humans for once. He had been cooped up in that lab of his for too long now, not eating or sleeping nearly enough to the point that the team has begun worrying.

"-dey. Hey, Spidey!" Peter was forced from his thoughts and jumped as a hand clapped him across his head. Sam looked at him amused. "You good man?"

Peter nodded slowly and let out a soft chuckle. "Sorry, guess I just zoned out." He turned towards where his name was called. Clint was watching him with an eyebrow raised. He didn't comment though and repeated his question. "What's your poison?"

The Spiderling crinkled his nose in confusion and Clint made a show of the options. Peter's eyes widened before answering. "Oh- uh. I'm good actually- Mr Stark...you wanna...?" Peter trailed off awkwardly, looking to his mentor for help.

Tony stopped his talk with Steve and cleared his throat. "Yeah Webs here doesn't do that. He's...", Tony waved his hands dramatically as he scrambled for a good excuse, "Allergic."

All conversation stopped as eyes and ears tuned in to the conversation. Clint gave the billionaire a look that he clearly knew that was BS. He kept his eyes on Tony as he scrutinized the genius's face for a lie. "He's allergic? To every kind of alcoholic drink?" He crossed his arms and shifted his weight.

Peter's eyes widened in panic as he also attempted to find a reason for his "allergy" and before Tony could say another word, Peter blurted, "It's deadly to Spiders!"

The hero nodded to himself, sure they wouldn't be able to prove otherwise when Tony shook his head in warning. Natasha barked out a laugh and Bruce smiled gently at the ground. Peter stared at them, completely and utterly lost.

"What?"

Steve stepped up and spoke gently but firmly. "Do you not remember the time after you got hurt?"

Everyone in the room cringed or shot a pitying look his way at the memory. Peter felt uncomfortable at the sudden attention but tried to think back a bit a ways, muttering to himself as he recalled events out loud. Suddenly he stopped and the confusion morphed into horror. That particular day he had been though the ringer (almost quiet literally) and in critical condition when Tony had found him bleeding out on the concrete.

Bruce was called along with the advanced medical team at SI, and they began fixing Peter. Unfortunately, all of Bruce's knock out pills were gone and he had neglected to get more. The to the genius he is, Tony had run and got the strongest bottle of vodka he owned, practically forcing it down his protege's throat to numb him from the pain.

The mix of alcohol and pain that day caused him a foggy memory and only now did he remember.

This sucks.

Clint seemed to consider something for a moment before slowly dragging out his thoughts. "Now why would Spider-Man lie about not wanting to drink? I can't think of anything besides- no..." The Archer's eyes suddenly changed as he looked Peter over again. His voice was hoarse, "You can't be."

Peter was about to ask what Clint was thinking when suddenly the older man leaped over the counter top and quickly advanced on him.

The Spider took on a scared look as he backed away from the man, nearly tripping over his own two feet. The back of his calves were suddenly pressed against the low coffee table and Peter practically did a standing backbend as Clint loomed over him. They stood like that for a moment before in a movement of color, Peter flipped onto his hands and used them to press against he table, shooting out from under his teammate.

"Look man I don't know what you're- hey!" Pete was suddenly grabbed by his wrists and he yelped in surprise as they were forced behind him. He looked up into the apologetic eyes of Steve Rodgers. Not knowing what else to do against his strength, Peter have him a pleading look, but he super soldier just shrugged his shoulders as if saying "What can you do?"

Peter huffed as Clint once again neared him, this time gripping his collar. Tony watched on in a mixture of worry and amusement. He felt giddy like a child knowing something they didn't.

"Wanna maybe tell your team exactly how old you are?" Peter cursed his luck but shook his head like a little kid that denied he had drawn with marker on the wall.

Clint smiled at the challenge, his hand moving from his prey's collar upwards. It froze though as a voice spoke out.

"I'd watch that hand if I were you Barton." The archer just smirked back at Tony and snorted. "Yeah right."

Tony didn't speak again, just raised his hands in mock surrender. The others suddenly got a weird feeling as Tony backed up behind the couch, a knowing smile still present on his lips.

Thor spoke first, a little hint of worry lining his words. "Maybe it isn't wise to provoke the Man of Spiders...I'm sure he has a sensible reason for keeping his identity a secret."

Clint nodded at him sarcastically. "Yeah, because he's some kid in college." He turned back towards a nervous Peter. "Ain't that right kid?" The team caught on and they all shared looks of varied curiosity.

Peter shook his head quickly in denial but he could tell they weren't buying it. He was starting to feel claustrophobic and agitated by his friend's sudden need to know his personal info. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Tony grinning like a mad man.

"Alright kiddo, let's see just how old you-" Just before Clint was able to get the mask above his mouth, Peter reacted.

He shoved Cap off of him, delivering a swift kick to his groin area without even glancing back. Before Clint could even register what happened, the "kid" took a step towards him and swept his own right foot behind his left, using the momentum to help turn his body sideways. He then used that momentum to lock Clint's tricep in Peter's elbow and roll him over his back and onto the unforgiving ground.

Only a low moan from the man on the floor and a soft whimper from Steve was heard, everyone else had gone completely silent. Joey and Chandler were paused mid sentence the second Tony had tried to intervene and Friday had begun recording long before even that.

Suddenly a slow clapping interrupted the silence and all eyes fell on Tony Stark. He was walking towards Peter, looking impressed but not surprised. He stepped over Clint's abused form and faced Peter, who he wrapped his arm around in the fashion of a "proud dad".

"Well done kid, well done." Tony slapped a shocked Peter roughly on his back and the kid let out a soft protest. He seemed as surprised as anyone at what he had just done but recovered quickly. He shook the feeling off and smiled down at the offending party. "Trying to remove my mask is a big no no. Next time listen when Stark talks."

Peter made a scene of dusting off his hands and made his way purposely to the bar. He glanced at Clint who was still on the ground, groaning dramatically. He then slowly grabbed and held up a bottle of whiskey, studying it carefully. Peter turned his attention back to the sad form on the carpet with an eyebrow raised. Peter smiled innocently as he asked, "What's your poison?"