I had always said it was like being inside a submarine.
Water surrounding you on all sides. Glassy little insects being thrown off the windshield in waves. Sounds like the roaring ocean coming from drumming rain on the roof.
"Now, Laynie," my mom said, sitting in the front seat next to my dad. My head immediately snapped forward; always listen. "Be good this year. We don't want to make you stay the summer again. And we want you to get a good guardian."
"Yes, ma'am," I answered her quietly, my gaze slowly returning to the ocean around us. Well, it wasn't actually ocean. It was the boring backwoods of Montana, where my academy hid underneath forest and between mountains. It was logically the best place for a school full of endangered Moroi and dhampirs; reclusive enough that it was easy to see things coming, in a good area to protect.
However, the creators of the academy definitely had valued safety over intrigue.
I hated this school.
My name was Eleyn Ozera, and I belonged to one of twelve royal families. These families all had children who attended my school, all but the Dragomirs, who were the most endangered. Their last remaining member was queen of the Moroi. She wasn't exactly the last one, though. There was about to be another little Dragomir in about five more months.
I really hated this school. It didn't help that I was a product of the Ozeras, which were basically all but loathed by a majority of the Moroi – if it wasn't bad enough that two of our members had willingly turned Strigoi, it had been made worse when another member was proven to have killed the last queen of the Moroi. This had been evened out by Queen Dragomir's marriage to my second cousin or something, Christian Ozera. I didn't really know how I was related to him, but I knew it was relatively close. My parents didn't like to talk about him, because his mom and dad were the Ozeras that put the whole family to shame. Willingly turned Strigoi, the most disgusting and evil immortal vampires to exist. I had met Aunt Moira when she was still human. I had been very, very young, but I had met her. I remembered her eyes.
Not only did it epically suck that I was an Ozera, but I was also very out of it when it came to politics and socializing – which were the two main facets of Moroi life, both in the academy and in the Court. I didn't really like how stuck up all the Moroi were. I was lucky to spend most of my time with some dhampirs who I'd met through practicing in my defense classes, so I got to stay out of the thick of it. Dhampirs get Moroi into trouble at your age, Laynie, came my mom's chastising voice in my head. Think of that Hathaway and the Queen. Vasilisa is incredibly blessed to make it where she is today. She almost didn't.
I never reminded her that Christian also made it where he was today by hanging out with that same dhampir – married to the queen, about to have a child with her. Taking away some of the shame of the Ozeras. You didn't talk back to a mother who was a royal Moroi.
We were pulling up to the front gate when my mother finally spoke again. "Remember what I said, Laynie. Be good. Behave. Maybe try to get along with some of those royal girls in your class this year."
"Got it," I whispered, catching a glare from my dad's piercing blue eyes in the rearview mirror. "Yes, ma'am," I quickly corrected, and his eyes returned to the guardians coming out to meet us; I knew them well. One of them was one of my instructors, a female guardian named Alberta. She'd been at the school since even the queen had attended, and she had gone to Court for a year or two before coming back to keep teaching. She was the reason I had the skill to give Daniel Dashkov two black eyes and a busted lip last year.
"Ozera, Eleyn," my father said brusquely. He and my mother always seemed to forget that the only reason they were alive was because of the dhampirs protecting them. They had this bizarre disgust for our guardians that made me want to punch them the way I'd punched Daniel Dashkov.
"Go on through," Alberta said, smiling at me through the back window. I smiled back, waving and then hating myself for it. Uh oh.
We made it to the main parking lot before my dad spoke. "Eleyn, how close are you to that instructor?"
"I know her," I said, trying to match his brusqueness. That was another thing I wasn't good at – removing emotions from my tone. That was something all royals were supposed to master eventually. "She teaches some of the defense classes. Not my grade." Would he check? Would he know that I was lying?
"I don't like when you get close to them." He turned all the way around in his seat so his ice blue eyes bored into mine. "This will be the last time I see something like that happen."
"Yes, sir," I said, gritting my teeth and trying not to look like a scared puppy. My dad had that effect on people. I hated that it worked on me, too.
"Have a good year, Eleyn," he said after several tense seconds. "We will see you at Thanksgiving."
"Thank you," I said politely, sliding across the seat and opening the submarine door into the pouring rain. I didn't care if I got super soaked; I just wanted to get away from them.
"Bye, Laynie," I heard my mom call before I slammed the door. I waved at her, not at all surprised by their lack of affection. My parents never told me they loved me.
We had already taken care of my things, so I wasn't surprised to climb the stairs up to my dorm room and find my trunk at the end of my bed. My roommate, and best friend, Alex Conta, was already unpacking. Like me, she spent her summers at home with her family.
"What up, Laynie," she said, tugging the corner of her fitted sheet onto the back of her mattress and falling stomach-first onto the bed. She groaned into the pillow. "This year is gunna suck."
"We're juniors, Alex," I said, opening my trunk. On top of my clothes was a sealed letter, my name scrawled on the top in what I knew was my dad's handwriting, and I felt bile rise in my throat, whipping the letter under my bed. I had no idea what it might say, but I was sure I didn't want to read it. "What time is it? When is class?"
"There aren't any classes today, dumbass," she said, still into her pillow.
"No, I heard that someone is running a defense class to warm up for the first day," I said, my eagerness audible to even me. "Aren't you going?"
"Hell no." Her voice, still muffled, made me roll my eyes, and I grabbed the first workout clothes I could find out of my suitcase, yanking off my blouse and untangling the tank top.
"Yo, Laynie," Alex's soft voice said from her bed, no longer muffled in her pillow; I jumped and tried to back up, hitting my ankle on my trunk and falling ungracefully to the floor. I covered myself as best as I could with the tank top until I could pull it over my head, knowing exactly what she'd seen.
"Are those bruises?" she asked, getting up and coming toward me. I jumped back again, crabwalking away from her, one arm over my stomach where I knew hid the black and blue and purple and green marks under my skin. "What did you do?"
"Stop," I ordered her, not even bothering to think of an excuse. "Stop. You made me hurt my ankle, bitch."
"Sorry," she said, her eyes softening behind her heavy black eyeliner. "You need help?"
"No," I said, feeling guilty for snapping at her.
"Is that why you always try to stay for the summer?" she asked.
"Don't worry about it, Alex." I grabbed onto my trunk and stood up, testing my ankle. It might bruise, but it was good to practice on. "I'm gunna find that class."
"Finish changing, you can't go in khakis," she said, her face still fearful and apologetic. "I'll go ask the dorm matron if she knows anything." She left the room, nearly closing her ass-length black hair in the door behind her. She should be the Ozera, not me.
I took a few steps and locked the door where she had left, examining myself in the floor-length mirror that hung on the back of it. I didn't really look like an Ozera. I had the eyes, the piercing ice blue that always reminded me of my father; I had the pale skin. I didn't have the black hair, though. My hair was wavy and brown, almost like Rose Hathaway's except lighter, hanging down to my elbows. I had freckles, too. Neither of my parents had freckles. Not a lot of Moroi in general had freckles, since you got them from the sun and we couldn't be in the sun very long. I did a lot of late-night training – and by late night, that meant during the day, since vampire schedules were flipped – and therefore had my share of sun kisses on my cheeks and nose. Typical tall and lanky Moroi build, but with a little bigger boobs. Not really any butt.
I lifted up the tank top, seeing the bruises that Alex had seen. I saw his piercing eyes in the mirror, reflected in my own, and quickly opened the door so I couldn't see my reflection anymore. I could feel my fingers shaking.
Alex came back in a few minutes, and by then I was unpacking, fully changed into my workout clothes which I had put on with the door wide open. I would rather someone else see me changing than to have to see those eyes in the mirror.
"She says it's starting at sunrise, but that we still have to be back by curfew," she said, kneeling in front of her own stuff and digging for her change of yoga pants.
"That's like an hour of practice!" I groaned, flipping my hair over and starting to twist it into a bun. "We've got this, we'll be fine."
"We gotta go, though," she said, tearing off her own clothes and clumsily hopping into the new ones. "It's across the quad."
"Mother," I hissed, falling back to the floor and putting on my tennis shoes. "You ready?" I asked when I finished, standing up hastily.
"We out," she said, throwing the dorm key around her neck and starting toward the door. I slid out of it first, not wanting there to be any chance I'd see the mirror.
—
"Lucky for you eager beavers," Guardian Kova was saying, "we have a little treat for you guys today. Just to reward you for your commitment, I called for some special guests."
Guardian Kova was a newer guardian for the school, having been recruited after the election, and I liked him. He was okay. A little old, but a good teacher. I had a feeling all eyes were glued on him, however, as he had spoken – special guests? Who would it be? Dimitri Belikov? Rose Hathaway? Eddie Castile? Maybe even Mia Rinaldi?
We waited and waited, and I could feel the humidity turning into heat as we wasted time sitting on the grass. We should have been fighting already. Half of me wanted to see the guests, and the other half wanted to kick someone's ass. It had been all summer.
Someone with curly brown hair walked out of a doorway toward where we were gathered on the ground, and I recognized him immediately – Mikhail Tanner. Famous for so many reasons, including his Strigoi hunt when the woman he loved had turned Strigoi. I felt a very strong bond with people who had experienced what I had – loved ones going dark. We would always be stigmatized, even though it had obviously been all but our choice.
"Hey, guys," he said, and I could tell by his discomfort that he had never gotten used to a spotlight. "Um, well, there's not much I could say, but I am gunna be running through some moves with you and all that stuff. I hope you learn a lot and I hope everyone has a great year."
There was murmured thanks and excitement, and then we all got to our feet as Mikhail started in on the basics, letting us warm up and stretch. He made us run around the track, and I was reminded of the stories I'd heard about when Belikov had been first training Hathaway. Always running. It had paid off for her many times.
Alex and I were one of the only Moroi there, but we were friends with a lot of the dhampirs anyway, so we made it a race. Our long legs fought with their stamina and muscles, and the instructors caught on quickly; Kova was cheering for us as I leapt over the end of the final lap, collapsing on the wet grass. Alex fell next to me, and four or five dhampirs dogpiled next to us, laughter cascading from where we all lay. I slowed my breathing and sat up, squinting at the pink and orange sky. There could only be thirty minutes left of practice.
"Alright, up, up," Kova called, and we all obeyed, getting into position in front of our instructors. Alex and I were sparring partners first, and I noticed her hesitation to hit me anywhere in my midsection; that pissed me off, and I went twice as hard, pinning her in the first twenty seconds.
"Wow, Ozera," Mikhail said, coming over as I helped Alex up. He glanced at Kova. "Give her a dhampir."
"We separate them like this so it's fair," he said.
"Give her a dhampir," Mikhail repeated, nodding toward a group of dhampir boys who were all a lot larger than me muscle-wise. I doubted I could beat any of them.
"If you say so," Kova said, bitterness in his voice at having his rule overthrown. "Larkin, you got Ozera."
Larkin stepped forward, a massive senior who I knew was going to be part of the royal guard when he graduated, and grinned down at me. He, a dhampir, was grinning down at a Moroi. "This should be fun."
"Suck my ass," I hissed at him, backing up and dropping into proper form. Alex moved away, and I realized no one else was planning on practicing. They were all going to watch.
It took several seconds for either of us to even make a move. We just circled each other, scanning each other's movements. Finally, he feinted, and I fell for it – first mess-up, too eager. We both went left and then he dodged right, catching me in the stomach and knocking my breath out of me for a few short seconds. I pretended it affected me more than it had, and then got him from underneath, throwing in three sharp hits to his stomach. It was then that I saw his eyes.
Lit up in the growing sunlight, the gray of them turned icy blue – and I snapped.
—
"Laynie! Laynie!" Alex's scream shook me, and I froze, immediately feeling pain. Everywhere.
Mostly from my hands. I looked down at them and saw blood, wondering why I'd beat up a rock when it started coming back to me. I was pinned to the wet grass by both Kova and Mikhail, Alex holding down my legs and trying to keep my face still. I shook free of her hands, blinking rapidly.
"I don't know what happened," I said, squinting. There was too much sunlight.
And there were too many voices. I glanced to the side, past one of the men holding me down, and saw the group of dhampir boys carrying Larkin, his face a bloody mess, his shirt torn. He was favoring an ankle, and the boys were supporting his weight, bringing him toward the infirmary. One of them looked back at me, and there was genuine fear in his eyes.
"I don't know what happened," I repeated, my voice harsh in my throat. "I don't know what happened."
"We should take her to Dr. Olendzki," Alex said. "She's never been like this before."
"No, she needs to go to the headmistress's office," Kova said. "That was unnecessary."
"What happened," I asked, feeling hot tears rolling down my temples into my hair. "Alex, Alex, what happened?"
Mikhail was the only one who looked calm and understanding. It was like he had seen me before, seen this moment. "She shouldn't be punished. I know what happened." I rifled through my mind to figure out what he meant, remembering what I knew about him – he was married to an ex-Strigoi. He probably had seen her go crazy plenty of times before. Maybe he understood that that was what had happened to me.
"Are you crazy?!" Kova yelled, and I flinched into Mikhail, feeling my fingers shaking again. Mikhail had brown eyes. I stared up at them. He's not here. He's not here.
"Don't shout," Mikhail said, and without warning he swept me up. "I'm taking her to the infirmary and then she's going back to her dorm. She can't miss the first day of classes tomorrow."
"Listen, just because—"
Mikhail silenced him with a look, shaking his head. I clung to him, searching for his eyes. "Kova, if you have a problem, speak with the headmistress. I will be calling the queen as soon as I get a chance to ensure Eleyn Ozera has not even a speck of this on her record."
Kova's gray brows pulled together but he remained silent, and I closed my eyes, feeling more tears on my cheeks. What was wrong with me?
"M-Mikhail," I whispered to him as he started walking. "Can you make sure my dad doesn't find out about this?"
He looked down at me, those soft brown eyes understanding and serene. They calmed my heart more than I could have hoped. "Absolutely."