Chapter 1 - Little Lost Lamb
Admitting defeat was something Rachel Berry would never dream of doing. But even she realized that somethings couldn't be forced, no matter how hard she tried or didn't try for that matter.
And that matter…was that she would never belong with her high school peers. She thought Glee would somehow bring her the closeness she craved and she would find a place that even she could belong with. It's not like she's oblivious. She knows she high-strung, talks too much, annoying, different, and all the other things she's heard about herself. She just thought Glee would accept her the way she was because it wasn't like anyone in the club was perfect either. Yet for some reason, they could all accept each other flaws and all, except her. She was always on the outside.
Granted, it got better over the years. While she didn't get slushied anymore, she still had to avoid run-ins with Azimio. She doesn't wear argyle anymore, got highlights in her hair and no longer pinned it awkwardly, which was she supposed was a nice change. But she was still…Rachel Berry.
She sighed, looking around the dimmed room crowded with people and listened to the awful loud music booming throughout the house. It was January and Puck decided to throw a party for the sake of throwing a party.
It was going to be the last one she went to, she decided. Graduation was coming soon, four long years and while she was sad and nostalgic about graduating, she was excited to move on. She was going to NYADA, the start of truly becoming a star, and she was confident she would meet her group of people. After all, it was a school filled with people who more or less had the same ambitions as she.
"Rachel!"
The brunette turned towards the sound of her name being called, her red solo cup filled more with Vodka than pop spilling slightly over the edge as she turned. She saw Brittany skipping towards her and she offered the girl a smile.
"Hi Brittany," Rachel greeted politely, "Where's Santana?"
The blonde nodded her head towards the kitchen. "She's destroying Artie and Matt at beer pong, it was too depressing for me to continue watching."
"By herself?"
The blonde nodded again. "Where's Finn and Kurt?"
Rachel shrugged, not really wanting to get into it. She and Finn had a fight at the beginning of the party and he was off partying and ignoring her. She hadn't told anyone yet, but Finn proposed to her and she hasn't given her boyfriend an answer. She loved Finn, she supposed, and she knew Finn loved her even if he only proposed to her out of fear of his life going nowhere and he would be alone.
Kurt had abandoned her in search of Blaine and Mercedes as soon as they arrived. He may have been slightly annoyed with her because he came over before the party to help choose an outfit and makeup for the night, but she had bickered with him on everything he chose.
She would've said yes if she also didn't feel like she was on the outside with Finn too.
"I'm not sure, drinking with Noah perhaps?"
Brittany gave her a lopsided half-pity frown before taking the brunette's cup and setting it aside.
"Let's dance a little!" She exclaimed, already pulling Rachel through the throng of people onto the makeshift dance floor.
As the beat got louder, thrumming at her skin as they got closer to the speakers, bouncing and swaying, Rachel smiled a little.
Although on the outside, it didn't hurt that there were moments of niceness.
Blurriness.
That's what Rachel would describe herself…or the room. After dancing, Brittany dragged her to the kitchen to partake in drinking games, and Rachel Berry is a winner if anything.
She sloppily made her way up to the bathroom, not missing Finn's angry face as she passed him. She rolled her eyes, she was not in the mood to go at it again with him. Pushing open the door and stumbling in, Rachel quickly realized that the bathroom was occupied.
"Rachel," the tone was surprised and in a way soft.
"Quinn," she slurred back. She willed herself to sober up a little. Her eyes focused in a little and she looked at the blonde in her jeans and a simple blouse.
Quinn always looked good, she thought.
"Sorry…didn't know someone was in here…" Rachel mumbled. She could already feel herself becoming awkward.
Although she and Quinn ceased fire long ago, the blonde was always someone who kept her at arms' length, no matter how many time Rachel offered her friendship.
Whatever they had now was at most tentative and fragile. Some days, Quinn would be crabbier with her and sling an unveiled insult before saying sorry in her own Quinn way the next day. Some days, she could sit with Quinn on the bleachers and Quinn would let her rattle about whatever was coming to her mind.
She had seen Quinn through everything and when she thought they were taking a good step towards friendship, Quinn would almost immediately regress, then apologize, and then they were back at neutral zone.
"Are you…drunk?" Quinn asked, eyeing the brunette who leaned against the sink counter. Rachel turned on the tap, running her hand under the cool water, almost sighing at the touch.
"If by drunk you mean everything is spinning a little, then affirmative. But in good reason Quinn, I must say I am astonishing at flip cup but could use a little work for beer pong."
She could've sworn she heard the blonde chuckle.
"Who did you play against?"
"Santana…" Rachel muttered, disappointedly.
She heard Quinn sigh knowingly, almost with pity.
"Well, I highly doubt NBA players could beat Santana at beer pong."
Rachel suddenly stood straighter.
"Quinn, it's not fair! Santana whips it into the cup, she's basically bullying the ball to land in the cup!"
Quinn's laugh was a little more vocal this time. She was about to say something else when a drunken couple stumbled into the bathroom, pushing the small brunette right into Quinn's arms.
Steadying herself, Quinn glared at the couple.
"Watch it!" She snapped, though she highly doubted they even registered what was going on. Rolling her eyes, she looked down at Rachel who was gripping the front of her shirt to keep herself from falling.
"Okay, let's get out of here before tweedle dee and tweedle dumb here decide to give us a show."
The blonde helped Rachel down the stairs and suggested maybe calling it a night for the star, offering the girl a ride before Finn showed up, swaying slightly in front of them.
"Rachel!" He bellowed, clearly intoxicated.
The sight of Finn seemed to make Rachel stiffen and sober up marginally.
"We're…we're having our talk right now!" Finn said, pulling the girl out of Quinn's hold and out onto the porch.
Stumbling before Finn decided they were in a good spot, Rachel shivered out in the cold. Her sleeveless shirt clearly not abundant for winter in Lima.
"Finn, don't you think we can finish this conversation perhaps tomorrow when we're both not inebriated?" The cold was quickly sobering up the girl, she wanted to go back inside.
Finn scrunched his face at her words before shaking his head.
"No, Rach, I want to have this talk right now. I'm sorry about earlier and I really love you. Marry me." Finn said all in one breath, holding out the ring box once again in front of her.
Rachel thought she heard some shuffling at the door before shaking her head and sighing.
"Finn, I don't want to have this conversation right now."
"Rach, just give me the answer."
"I don't have one yet!"
"I've given you so much time! How come you don't have an answer?"
"You can't force an answer, Finn!"
"Why won't you just say yes! We're supposed to be endgame!"
"Because!"
"Because what?" Finn exasperatedly blared.
"Because I want to say no!"
As soon as Rachel said it, her jaw snapped shut. Finn looked at her, hurt quickly overcoming his face. Rachel sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Finn—" the ring box snapped shut. Without another word, Finn walked off and left her behind.
"Damn it," she muttered, staying outside for another minute before going back in to find Quinn. She was ready to go home.
Back inside, she found Quinn sitting between Santana and Brittany, having a drink herself now.
"Quinn?"
The blonde looked up at her and her eyes cooly gazing back.
"Why are you drinking? I thought you were taking me home?"
The sight of Quinn rolling her eyes made Rachel shrink a little.
"What am I, your keeper? Find your own ride home, Berry." The biting tone hit Rachel in the pit of her stomach. Her eyes flitted over from Brittany and Santana who didn't even look at her.
"Oh, um, okay. Sorry." Rachel lamely uttered before turning away, hurt cascading over her the way it always did when Quinn was callous towards her.
She walked off, quickly wanting to get out of the blonde's line of sight. She gathered her coat and looked at her phone.
It was only midnight.
She bit her lips, thinking about her fathers were out of town and wouldn't be back until next week. Everyone she knew here was crashing and too drunk to drive.
Well, it was only 30 minutes away. She's on her elliptical longer than it would take her to walk home. Lima was a small town, hardly anything ever happened.
She was tired. She was sad. She wanted to go home and lay in her own bed. The only people she really talked to weren't going to talk to her tonight, so she definitely didn't want to stay at Noah's for the night.
Resigned, Rachel put on her coat and left without saying goodbye.
The night was cold, Rachel was glad that she decided to listen to Kurt and wear pants instead of a skirt. There was still snow on the ground and she could see her breath every time she breathed.
She still felt a little tipsy, but nowhere as drunk as she was earlier. It wasn't bad though, she had walked 5 blocks so far. She would be home in no time, she told herself.
She walked around the road on the side, careful of where she stepped. Noah lived in a different part of town than her, it was shrouded in the woods, so there were no sidewalks until she hit the main road. She pulled her jacket closer, puffing out some air.
A car zoomed past her, stopped a few feet before backing up.
"Hey, Man-Hands!"
Rachel looked up and came face to face with Azimio sticking his head out the window from the back seat. She eyed the car and found it at him, another football player driving, and some Cheerios. She eyed them all saw their flushed faces, including the driver.
"It's not safe to drive while under the influence," she offered before continuing her walk, hoping they'd just leave her alone. Everyone but the driver exited the car and started to trot behind her.
"How cute, Man-Hands is worried about us. Or sad, since we slushied her nearly every day until fucking Q made us stop."
Rachel didn't say anything, she kept walking. She had always thought it was Finn who finally stood up for her and made people stop throwing the frozen liquids at her, but to stop and ask more questions was stupid, even to Rachel.
"Maybe she actually likes being slushied!" A girl on the Cheerios laughed.
Rachel picked up her speed, but that seemed to annoy the crowd.
"Hey, Man-Hands! We're talking to you, don't be fucking rude." A girl spat, grabbing onto the back of Rachel's jacket and yanking the small girl back. She stumbled right into Azimio's arms and heard the laughter.
"My god, she's really just throwing herself at the whole football team. Look how cute she is in your arms, Azimio."
Azimio leered at her and Rachel roughly pushed him back, causing the drunk football player to stagger back, nearly falling over his own feet.
The Cheerio in front of her pushed Rachel back in return. "Watch it, Man-Hands! You think you're all that leaving this town and no longer slushied? You're still a fucking loser!"
Azimio steadied himself before glaring at the small brunette and reaching out to grab at her. He ripped her jacket off, the buttons snapping right off from the force before pushing her down the trench. She immediately careened over, rolling down the snowed path and landed on her right ankle awkwardly.
"Maybe you can't get slushied at school anymore, but there ain't no rule you can't get snowed!"
Rachel groaned as she heard laughter at the top, it slowly dissipating as Rachel realized they were leaving.
"You sure she can make it back okay?" She heard another male voice, most likely the driver.
"Yeah, just drive Bobby, there ain't no cell in this Jacket, she'll be fine, just a prank."
She heard tires screech lightly before she was alone. Hoisting herself up, putting her hand against the tree, she winced knowing her ankle was sprained.
She looked around, debating what to do. She was already feeling the chill hit her skin, goosebumps uncomfortably setting across her skin with the snow on her arms and back.
Her first immediate thought was she should call the police, but she quickly scratched that.
What would she even say?
'Hi, I'm stranded in the cold leaving a party and sprained my ankle.'
That hardly sounded like an emergency.
She could try to walk back to Noah's, she thought. She wasn't that far. Looking up from the bottom, she decided she should walk through the woods, it would be faster than trying to climb out with her ankle.
Rachel pulled the phone out from her back pocket, glad that she had left it there instead of putting it in her coat. Hopping on her good foot, she looked at the battery. Only 10%. She bit her lip.
She quickly dialed Kurt's number.
It went to voicemail.
She tried Finn next. Sure, they just had a huge fight, but surely he would pick up. He never not picked up when she called, even in previous fights they had.
It went to voicemail.
She then tried Quinn's number. She had never really called the girl before, except once at sectionals to see where she was at before the competition started.
It rang once before the call dropped, meaning Quinn saw but declined her call.
She even tried Noah since she got his number a while back when he needed help choosing a present for his little sister, who did adore Rachel.
It went to voicemail.
She tried Tina's number, but the girl didn't go to the party tonight as she had something going on with her family and was most likely already in bed.
She sighed, resting against a tree. She was getting tired and she was quickly losing dexterity in her fingers from the cold. It was 10 degrees out and Rachel knew if she didn't make it back soon or if someone didn't come to get her, she would really be in trouble.
Coming to realize that she only had 5 people to contact that wasn't here dads. She offhandedly thought this was a misfortunate week for her parents to go to Jamaica and have their phones off.
Her phone battery was draining with the calls she was making. Her fingers were frozen, but she still managed to send a text out to everyone.
'Please pick up your phones, I really need you to come get me.' It was painstakingly slow with her numb fingers.
Her jeans were stiff with the snow that made her pants damp and it felt like pins and needles all over. Jaw trembling, she realized she couldn't get up anymore.
Forcing her fingers once more, she dialed Quinn's number.
It went straight to voicemail without ringing.
Tears well up, she's not sure why it hurt so much. Wasn't she always on the outside?
She didn't belong with them.
Maybe if it was anyone else but her, they would've picked their phone up. Maybe if she wasn't uptight, high-strung, bossy, talkative, and…and a loser…they would pick up.
With only 2% left, she dialed again, her eyes drooping as she did. It doesn't feel as cold as it did now.
"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"
'Hello?' Rachel thought, but her mouth wouldn't make any sounds.
"Hello? Is anyone there? Please respond."
'I'm here, I'm here, I'm alone…'
She could still hear them talking but her eyes were no longer open.
Her breathing slowed. An eerie calm washed over her, or was that the coldness?
In.
.
.
Out.
.
.
In.
.
.
Out.
.
.
.
In.
.
.
.
Out…
A/N: New story, writing this as a good breather from my Twilight sequel. Been pretty into Faberry lately if you can't tell if you follow me on Tumblr haha. Please do not ask about the Twilight Sequel on this fic, I will not respond to it. It's still in the works, it will be eventually published.
That being said, give this a whirl! Enjoy the ride, give a review (please validate me) :)
FYI: Degrees in Fahrenheit (Dammit America). At that temperature, 2 mins you lose dexterity, in 15 mins you are exhausted or lose consciousness. Expected survival time is 15 - 45 mins
See ya'll next time! Follow me on Tumblr MissMonsters2, you can bother me about the sequel there. Hope to see reviews :)