It was a snowy winter day in England. Lord and Lady Grantham had decided to visit an old acquaintance of Robert, Lord Pembroke. Due to the fact that Christmas was closing in on them and the fact that it would mean spending all hours of the day with family they both felt they needed some time alone first. They spent a few nights in one of their country houses but on their way back they bumped into Lord Pembroke who insisted on them staying, at least for the night. They accepted gladly.
"It's been way too long, Robert, where have you been hiding away? We used to ride out together all the time just before the war!" laughed Lord Pembroke. Or Charles, as Robert was used to call him.
"Indeed, my dear fellow!" said Robert and smiled first at Charles, and then at Cora, who smiled back at him. Sitting next to her he could easily grab her hand and she responded by stroking his fingers lightly. Robert couldn't put into words how happy he was they had gotten over their dispute after Sybil's death. He had no idea what he would've done if things hadn't gone back to normal. He needed her, and he knew she needed him too. After so many years together they knew each other inside and out. And yet she still surprised him with her kindness. He watched her fondly as she looked out of the window and smiled to himself. These few days alone with her had been bliss.
They arrived at the Pembroke mansion in time for the afternoon tea.
"I'm more than thrilled to have the both of you here. Ever since my wife died it's been frightfully lonely." sighed Charles as they were all sat down in his library.
"You should come and see us more often, you're very welcome." said Cora and Robert nodded in agreement.
"Oh thank you my dear, you're being most kind. Nevertheless you can both consider yourselves lucky! I've planned a little party for tonight and since you're both here.."
Robert frowned.
"My dear chap, are you sure we won't be a nuisance?" he asked carefully, but Charles just laughed.
"Of course not! Like I said, I'm thrilled you're both here. Otherwise I wouldn't have invited you."
"Robert, stop frowning! I'm thrilled as well, when do the guests arrive?" asked Cora and Charles started to explain exactly who would be there and who they were.
"A little party" turned out to be a serious understatement. Robert lost count on the cars that arrived to the mansion and it slowly but surely got quite crowded. Robert and Cora knew, or had at least met, most of the guests. But introductions were necessary nonetheless, because there were so many people gathered. As the night proceeded most of the guests ended up in one of the large living rooms. When someone suddenly started playing a catchy tune on the piano people got up to dance.
"Come on Robert, dance with me?" begged Cora as she pulled her husband's arm. But in vain.
"Cora, darling, you know how I hate dancing." he muttered and she sighed restlessly.
"Please? Just for a little while?" she continued, but when Robert kept frowning and refusing she sighed in defeat and walked away to find someone else.
Robert really would have loved to dance with his wife, just not in front of all these people. He hated dancing mostly because he was so terrible at it. Cora didn't mind, she thought it was sweet, but he was sure the rest of the room would mind. He didn't know why, but he frowned once more when he saw Charles ask Cora for a dance. She accepted, gladly, from what he could see sitting in his chair. Maybe he should've accepted her proposal after all?
As he watched Charles and Cora dance he felt a knot build inside his stomach. Ever since his affair with their maid Jane he had become a lot more aware of how little he really deserved his wife. He felt so useless; having cheated on her and, perhaps, even prevented their daughter's survival. He knew Cora loved him, but he couldn't help but feel guilty that she did. When he watched Charles steer his wife around while talking and laughing he felt.. Jealous. Jealous because that man was so close to her, making her laugh. Jealous because that man had done her no harm. Robert feared that Cora would get tired of him one day. And then again he always felt guilty for thinking such a thing of her.
When the dance was over Cora got caught up in conversation with another lady Robert didn't remember the name of and instead it was Charles who returned to Robert.
"Your wife is absolutely charming." said Charles as he sat down and waved at one of the footmen for another drink. Robert watched him carefully and noticed that Charles seemed a bit drunk. He always thought it was most inappropriate to get drunk when entertaining guests.
"Thank you. Did you enjoy the dance?" asked Robert, in a surprisingly neutral tone.
"I did, thank you very much. Though I fear we were both better at dancing in our younger years." laughed Charles and dismissed the footman as he had grabbed his drink. He took a sip from it and smiled at Robert who asked:
"You mean you've danced with Cora when you were young?"
This time the tone of his voice wasn't too neutral, but he guessed Charles were too drunk to even notice.
"Heavens yes! I met Cora when she came here for her first London season. She was such a pretty little thing, how could I resist?" laughed Charles and Robert tried his best to smile and seem friendly.
"It's very strange that you and I didn't bump in on each other then, because it was during that season I got to know Cora and eventually proposed to her." said Robert.
"But that was after the season, no? If I recall right you two met just as the season was finishing and you must have gotten to know each other afterwards."
Robert looked suspiciously at Charles. How on earth did the man know that?
"Yes, that's correct." he replied dryly. He didn't like it when people poked around and remembered things that were none of their business.
"Too bad, just as Cora and I were getting closer you snitched her away! She was such a sweet little thing though, I practically drowned in apologies when she ended it."
Charles had just finished his sentence, tapped Robert on the shoulder and staggered away when Cora came up and told him she was frightfully tired and would like to retire for the night. She gave him a light kiss on the cheek as she left.
"I'll be up soon." said Robert and she nodded as she exited the room.
When Robert had gotten changed and opened the door to the bedroom Cora had been assigned to he found that she was already asleep. She was slightly lit up by the snow outside and he stood by the bed for a while, just watching her breathe. To even imagine she had been seeing Charles back in the day made him annoyed. Charles? What on earth had she seen in him? And what in the devil's name did Charles mean with "she ended it"? Ended what? Robert hadn't been able to think of anything else since that most peculiar conversation with their host. When he eventually crawled in under the covers she stirred and opened her eyes slowly. She smiled when she saw him lying next to her.
"Go back to sleep, darling." he whispered as he moved closer to her and carefully put an arm around her. She hummed softly as she placed her head on his torso and sneaked an arm around him. He stroked her back lightly and when he didn't stop she looked up and saw that his eyes were still wide open.
"Robert? Is everything alright?" she asked sleepily.
"Yes, of course." he replied, but that answer didn't convince Cora one bit. She knew Robert too well to be fooled.
"Darling, I know there's something. Do you want to tell me?" she asked.
Robert looked at her and sighed in defeat. He knew he would never get away if he didn't tell her what was on his mind.
"Alright, fine. I'm just puzzled because a certain Lord Pembroke told me about your relationship during your first season in London. You never mentioned it to me." said Robert and when Cora only raised an eyebrow he added:
"He told me you two were seeing each other."
Cora looked as if she was about to say something, but instead a girlish giggle escaped her lips. Robert looked at her questioningly as she straddled him and leaned in and gave him a kiss.
"So that's what this is about. You're jealous."
"I'm not!" exclaimed Robert and looked at her with a stubborn face. She couldn't help herself but she smiled at him, although she knew it would annoy him, and ran her fingers through his hair.
"I'm not jealous." he repeated and she tried to stay serious but she just couldn't. When she started laughing he sat up so he could place his arms around her and close up the distance between them. Their eyes met and he looked at her seriously before asking:
"For how long did you two see each other?"
She sighed and rolled her eyes, but knew Robert craved an answer. And she was going to give him one.
"Practically all season. We got quite close, I even thought he was going to propose to me." she replied, for the first time without smiling, and just when Robert was about to open his mouth she placed her index finger on his lips before continuing:
"But that was before I met you. The minute I saw you I knew I wanted you more than anything else. And I still do."
She smiled at him as she removed her finger and allowed him to speak. But Robert didn't say anything, he only smiled at her rather sheepishly and when she leaned in to kiss him he returned the kiss eagerly. She kissed him so sweetly. He felt her push him down so he was lying on the bed again and when she continued to kiss him in the sweetest, fondest way he realised he had started crying. She was his angel, but he felt so guilty for everything that had happened between them.
He pulled her away slightly before sobbing:
"I don't deserve you. Maybe I should just leave you alone so you could find a better man."
She gave him a pained look and quickly leaned in to kiss his teary cheeks before whispering:
"You do deserve me. I love you, darling, so much. I don't know how I would ever survive without you. So don't say that, don't you dare leave me."
He wrapped his arms around her before gently swapping places so he was on top of her. He saw that she was on the brink of tears and he took her hands in his and kissed hers lightly before whispering back:
"I won't ever leave you, I promise. I love you so much my dearest."
He gave her a final kiss before settling himself by her side again, wrapping an arm around her, and allowing her to place her arms around him and lean in close. He kissed her lightly on the head before he closed his eyes to go to sleep.
"Good, because if you did I'd come after you. And I wouldn't rest until I found you again." she said, and he smiled because he knew it to be true.
