whiny author's note: yes. yet another post fault fic. oh well, enjoy (:
disclaimer: svu's not mine. sorry, boo.
in a partnership like theirs
After Elliot's words, Olivia buries herself in whatever work comes up regarding the Gitano case. She needs the distraction because Elliot's words are eating at her and she can barely breathe. It was like a slap in the face. 'Otherwise... we can't be partners...' Everything about what he said... about this case, it's been the end of everything. She sighs, shaking her head because she knows what she's about to do isn't easy. She works until her eyes are bleary and when she's about to leave, she asks Don if she could talk to him.
She's near tears once the meeting is over and she doesn't know how she makes it home with tears blurring her vision, but she does. And after a shower and changing into something more comfortable, she knows what she has to do.
That night she calls him. Elliot, that is. She asks him to come over so they could talk. She needs to tell him what she's done and she knows he'll hate her for it, but she also knows he'd hate her more if she just went through with it without letting him know (though that was her original intent).
She's pacing as she waits, thinking of every moment they've ever shared as partners—as best friends—and her heart breaks. And before she knows it, she's crying.
Olivia trusts Elliot more than she's ever (and probably will ever) trust anyone in this world. He's been her rock, her home, and her better half for as long as they've known one another. And more importantly, she loves Elliot more than she's ever loved (and probably will ever) love anyone. How much she feels for him still scares the hell out of her. And then it doesn't because even if he can't love her back and be with her the way she wants because he loves someone else, she still finds comfort in loving him. She can't explain it, but despite all the times she's said she's wanted to get over him, the truth is she loves loving him.
She thinks about how the rumors at work are kind of right. She really is his 'work wife' and he's her 'work husband.'
It sucks because this feels like divorce and she's dreading it.
There's a knock on her door and she nearly jumps out of her skin (Elliot's never been one for doorbells, while she prefers them. She guesses it's a metaphor for their contrasting personalities. His is booming and in-your-face and hers is quiet and demure, but just as effective. She realizes this balances them out). She's not ready to tell him and maybe it's because she doesn't want to go, but she can't change her mind now.
She wipes her eyes as best she can when he knocks again. "Coming!" she calls with a sniffle. She makes her way to the door and takes a deep breath before opening up, a shiver running down her spine at the sight of him.
He looks so relaxed in sweatpants and t-shirt and she figures by his outfit that he was already getting into bed when she called. She feels guilty for pulling him out of bed for this. But in his eyes, she can see the turmoil of the case wearing him down and she's surprised he even showed after today.
When he greets her, his voice is more unsure than she's heard in a while. She hates this. She also hates that she's going to crush him with what she's about to tell her, especially when she heard how hopeful he'd been over the phone at the prospect of working toward fixing their partnership when she'd called earlier.
"Hi," she says weakly. She can barely form two words.
He quirks a brow at her and asks what's wrong and why she's crying and she knows she couldn't hide her red-rimmed eyes and rosy nose and cheeks that give away the fact that she was crying just a moment ago. Though he has to know it has to do with Gitano and the kids and him...
She looks at him a moment longer and her heart races. This is the man she loves, the one who completes her in ways she never thought possible and she was giving him up because she was too scared of having to watch their already crumbling partnership fall apart all because of her. She can't bear the thought of leaving him, but she knows she has to, for both their sakes. For her own especially. It's selfish, but she knows it'll work out. At least… This is what she tells herself.
She's a runner, always running away and putting up walls between herself and the world to protect herself from getting hurt. And now she's running. Again. But she can't run without saying goodbye. Not this time.
"Liv..." He calls her name trying to get her attention, interrupting her thoughts.
And as she continues to look up at him, the speech she had planned flies out the window and gets hit by a bus on the way down.
And then, she kisses him. Hard.
She kisses him, pouring every emotion she had in her into that kiss: love, sadness, pain, and sorrow, and saying everything she wants to say, but can't. 'Goodbye.' 'I'm love you.' 'I'm sorry.' 'Make me stay.'
She kisses him and he's caught off guard, not expecting that at all. He nearly loses his balance, but braces himself, his hands finding her sides. She could tell he wants to pull back, but she doesn't want to let go. She realizes the way she's kissing him draws him in and he deepens it, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek. She tugs him into the apartment and shuts he door behind them.
The next few hours are a blur. Their clothes are thrown in small piles throughout the hallway leading to her room and their bodies are thrown in a small pile on her bed.
Olivia learns Elliot's nothing short of an artist in bed. He plays her body like a finely tuned guitar, making the most beautiful melody, as if he knows the just the right notes to play that will make her body sing. He did tell her once he knew how to play by ear.
She stops fighting it, giving in to the greatest pleasure she's ever known, letting him take control of the situation and go about it his way coaxing way more than one orgasm from her until she's clinging to him, his name tumbling from her lips like a love song.
And when he's finally fucking her, she curses in his ear, filthier than than he's ever heard her, and it turns him on in ways he's never known. Her finger nails dig into his shoulder blades leaving red marks down his back that sting with sweat when he's fucking her (loving her) hard.
And finally when he leans in and whispers that he loves her in her ear, she comes apart around him for what feels like the twentieth time that night. She doesn't know she lost count and can barely remember her name. What she does know is she's crying out his name and he's coming along with her, spilling into her as he hisses her name, grunting as he slows his thrusts, bringing them both down from their highs. He kisses her, softly and slowly, their brains in a foggy post orgasmic haze. They lay there a few moments, just kissing, trying to find their ways back down to Earth.
When they're good and ready, Olivia moves first, nudging him so she could move. He gingerly pulls out of her and she stands, wincing slightly as she makes her way to the bathroom to go about her business and get cleaned up.
She doesn't look in the mirror while she's gone. She can't. She can even look at herself because of what she's about to do.
She walks back into the room and finds him already under the covers, her air conditioner blaring. She hadn't realized how long she had been gone until she shivers and feels her nipples harden at the sudden cool temperature.
He teases her, wondering if she got lost or if he'd fucked her hard enough to make her forget where she was going. When he winks, she rolls her eyes and her heart breaks again.
He looks so damn happy and she hates she's going to take that from him.
She half smiles and crawls in next to him. "Takes longer than you think, you know," she says and it almost sounds like their usual banter. "Then again, maybe you did," she returns, letting him spoon her in a bear hug.
She can feel him sink his teeth into her shoulder, lightly biting and she shivers as he asks if she's going to tell him what all of this is about. He's holding her close and hugging her tight, his lips grazing her neck where a bruise was forming.
She's quiet for a moment, her eyes closed as tears filled them. She bites her lip before deciding she should speak now rather than later. "I-I asked Don for a new partner today," she says slowly.
She can feel him tense behind her.
"They're transferring me to Computer Crimes," she whispers. "You and I… We're not partners anymore. I'm leaving tomorrow morning."
It doesn't sound like the worst thing because they're still in the same city, but in a partnership and a world like theirs, it is.