College…Something new, something strange to me I really can't believe I'm actually this close to escaping this house, my mother, and the emptiness? Or will that follow me too for the rest of my life? I still haven't recovered the old me, the old Ritsuka, after 6 years he hasn't come back. Do I want him back? My mother does, she shows me, tells me, and beats it into me every day still. I know I have to protect myself but I can't blame her really…who would want a stranger who looks like her son, sounds like him, but doesn't compare to who he was. I softly swirled my chair around from the screen of my monitor. Glancing over to my bed seeing him leaning against it on the floor, the familiar long blonde hair, round glasses perched gently on top of his nose. He looked content reading his book. He hasn't left me for six years, hasn't stopped repeating those three words. I love you. He also tells me new things.

'You look like you're brother.'

'How small you used to be when you were twelve, you've grown so much.'

'So many years and you still blush.'

I sighed heavily returning to the monitor. Do I really look like him? Is that a bad thing? Deep inside I feel happy that I look like my beloved brother, but I feel a sort of jealousy. Soubi was in love with him in one point. Wasn't he? Or was it strictly 'Master-Fighter.'? Either way it shouldn't matter to me he was after all my brothers first to start with. I scoffed, really I'm making it seem like Soubi's an item.

"Ritsuka." He's soft low voice called.

"Hmm?"

"Is there something on your mind?"

I shook my head lightly continuing my blank glance at the bright screen. I heard him shift from his position on the floor to stand directly behind me. He's sent of lavender, smoke, and paint filing my nose as his arms wrapped around my shoulders bringing me to lean back against his chest.

"You seem to be contemplating something." He whispered softly into my ear his breath softly tickling me before he nuzzled his nose against my neck sending a light shiver to travel down my back. He showed more affection to me now then back when I was just entering puberty.

"Stop that, I hate it when you touch my neck." I softly shrugged my shoulder trying to push him away. He didn't get discouraged placing a tender kiss against my neck before gliding his soft lips down to the nape of my neck.

"You're 18 Ritsuka shouldn't be ashamed at how my touches make you feel." He whispered against my skin slowly gliding a hand threw my hair to softly land on my black furred ear. He softly caressed it with his long slender fingers. Tugging lightly he leaned over giving it a light kiss.

"Stop, I told you no." I knew he wanted them; he made it clear the day we meet. I was 12 how would I have known he would still be around for this long?

Turning my computer off I pushed his arms off me. Leaning down to pick up my backpack I replaced the college applications, papers of courses that interested me, and my financial application in its interior before placing it on my chair for later.

I needed to clear my head, thinking about the past, about Soubi, college, and finally going out on my own was beginning to stress me out. I sighed as I laid back into my bed letting it comfort me as I closed my eyes. I heard Soubi move to straddle my hips. He was really persistent. More so than the day I had turned 18. That day I almost gave in, encouraged him to much I guess, maybe I brought on this persistence? I knew I wouldn't have gone far with him then, though it was close.

"Happy birthday Ritsuka."

Soubi said joining me on my bed. He had placed a small cake on my lap .Chocolate chips sprinkled around it; white frosting contrasted from the moist looking chocolate sponge, the bright lit candle softly swaying as I glanced down at it.

"Thank you Soubi."

I had had a rough day, mother was angry beat me till my arms and back were raw and bruised. I knew I shouldn't have expected this birthday to have been different from every other since the day I lost my memory. I really shouldn't have done the same mistake as always. Walking into the kitchen where my mother placed eight different cakes on the table. Watching me like every year to see which cake I would chose, the cake the old Ritsuka loved or the wrong cake the stranger preferred. I had guessed wrong and spent most of my afternoon with plates flying towards my face.

I was tired, lonely, and frustrated.

I blew the candle out softly wishing for the same thing again. Bring the old Ritsuka back.

Soubi took the cake from my lap placing it carefully on top of my computer table before removing his glasses. I looked up at his blue eyes catching the slight impression of lust shining in them before they closed followed by the feel of his warm soft lips pressing against mine. He softly pressed me back a hand holding him steady on the bed while the other held me down by my chest.

I closed my eyes shortly after feeling his tongue glide against my bottom lip. Gasping lightly I granted him entrance to explore my mouth. He slowly ran his tongue against mine making the moment more intimate as he guiding his hand down my chest raising my shirt higher to run long cold fingers along my pale, scarred exposed flesh.

The light touch sent shivers down along my back making my breathing become heavy and my face to flush with warmth. This was going to happen, why shouldn't I let it happen. I did feel close to him. My heart did skip when he said those words. This is what you feel when you're in love right?

I felt him shift lower his lips removing themselves from mine to graze down to my neck. He sucked against my skin lightly sending shocks down my body. I couldn't help the moans that escaped my tingling lips. I felt the slight curve of a smile against my collarbone as Soubi let out a small chuckle before continuing to explore lower down my torso.

He lightly kissed and nipped around my chest capturing one of my nipples, which now I had discovered sent more pleasurable shocks threw my body. He continued his slow assault against my flesh till he reached the brim of my jeans. I felt the shift and pull of my jeans as they slide down my thighs.

I shook softly feeling exposed, hard, and confused. What should I do? Should I let it keep going?

I opened my eyes slightly glancing down at Soubi his face merely inches away from my clothed erection. He looked up catching my gaze as he placed his tongue against my aching need sliding it up against the fabric sending a tremor to rise from my thighs. The pressure escalading with each slow teasing lick against me, soft lips wrapping around my now wet boxers my erection twitching as he finally freed it from the barrier.

He smiled satisfied at his work as a slight trail of precum leaked from my slit connecting it to the cotton of my boxers.

"So erotic" He whispered sliding a delicate finger along the source of the precum slowly smearing it around the head I moaned enjoying the ever growing pleasure from his touch.

Leaning down he slide my member into his mouth. The wet warmth sent me quivering into the unknown pleasures. I had never done this before, never even touched myself in such a way. It was new, frightening, and unbearable. It sent tears to my eyes. What would happen if I went to school without my ears? When Seimei comes back, if he comes back, what would he think seeing me without them? What would mother say...what would she do if I came downstairs earless?

I couldn't do this, not now. I placed a shaking hand against his soft hair gripping it lightly.

"S-soubi stop." I said in a small hitched voice unrecognizable to me.

He removed his lips from my erection seeing my tear stricken cheeks. He sighed softly sliding my jeans and boxer back to their original spot against my hips before cradling me against his chest. He pulled me close caressing my back tenderly as I held his waist closely waiting for my tears to subside.

He shifted lightly around my hips. I felt his groin press against my own. He wasn't hard but I could feel he's warmth as he leaned over me placing a kiss against my lips.

"Ritsuka, I think we should." He breathed against my lips the brushing of his own as he spoke sending slight shocks against mine.

"No, not yet." I said firmly resting my arm over my eyes to keep the distance from our faces apart. I was expecting him to climb off me and say goodbye like every other time I rejected him. But he surprised me with something new, something out of the ordinary from him. I had never heard this ever escape his lips sending a heat directly to my cheeks and a shock straight to my groin.

First story I've written in a long time. Hopefully it didn't suck as bad as I think I might have. No it hasn't ended yet.