A/N: So after rereading all of the wonderful comments on Mission Save My Marriage I decided that there was no harm in writing an EPOV version, right? I mean what is it honestly going to hurt? LOL!

So here is the very first chapter that was posted at the end of MSMM. If you haven't read Mission: Save My Marriage stop now and go read it first as this is an alternate view of that story. There will be things-important things-in the main story that will be left out here. And there will be new things here that were never mentioned from BPOV obviously. So go read the first one and then start on this :)

Now, let's see…Steph owns them all. I just like to play with them like little puppets. Yes, Edward is a massive self loather in this one…it will change in a few chapters though so no worries.

Ok, I think that's it…here we go :D

EPOV

I pulled into the garage and ran a hand through my hair as I stared at the door that would lead into the kitchen where I knew Bella would be. She was more than likely slaving nervously over dinner to make sure that whatever she gave me tonight was enough to suffice. Enough to avoid a fight.

My marriage…it was falling and quickly. It was slipping through the palms of my hands and washing down the drain. Something needed to be down and quick. Jasper-my brother-suggested on multiple occasions that we see a sex doctor. Bella has tried her hardest to get us into marriage counseling but I be damned if some shrink or some perv sex doctor was going to tell me what I was doing wrong in my marriage. I knew the answer to that without having to pay five hundred dollars an hour for some counselor to tell me. I was a shitty husband. I was never there for my wife when I needed to be. I shut her out of my life. I am not open with her. I am a shitty husband. I get that. I don't know how to fix that. I could ask Bella but that would mean that I would have to confess to her that I am a shitty husband and I am proud enough to admit that would hurt my pride.

With a frustrated sigh, I turned the car off and grabbed my brief case before walking towards the door. I hit the garage door button and heard it sliding home as I shoved through the house door. I sat my brief case down and started to slide my jacket off when I caught the most delicious smell. I hummed…beef stroganoff. Was someone here? Perhaps Charlie was visiting; he enjoyed that meal as much as I did.

"Bella." I called and walked around the corner to see her standing at the table formally like she was the hired help.

I saw candles on the table and our plates sitting on the opposite ends of the table, and then I saw her. My eyes quickly caressed her body in that tight black dress and those heels. Those damn heels. I felt myself spring to life down south and I had to turn away for a moment. I went around the corner into the living room and slid my jacket and tie off. When I came back around the corner I saw Bella picking up her plate looking defeated.

"What are you doing?" I asked and studied her hand on the plate.

She sat it back down and blinked at me blankly, not meeting my eyes. How shitty of a husband am I that my own wife won't look me in the eye? I swallowed hard and fought back my guilt as she stumbled over her words trying to make an excuse. Finally she shook her head and said, "Nothing."

"I made beef stroganoff." She announced and motioned for me to sit down.

"I smelled it when I came in." I answered and sat in front of my plate looking at the plate full of good food. Where had this all come from? She had wanted to fix nothing but Stouffer's frozen dinners for the past couple of weeks. But I don't blame her…I am surprised she hasn't wanted to poison my food yet. Hmm…maybe tonight was the night for a side of arsenic. Bella asked if I needed anything and when I replied, asking for the salt even I could hear the quick clipped tone of my voice. She sighed and walked quickly to and from the kitchen returning with the salt and pepper. I said nothing as she sat it down in front of me. I should have at least thanked her. We ate in silence and I could feel Bella's eyes on me as I ate but I couldn't look up. I didn't want to see the hurt in her eyes that I always see there. It's my own fault. I just wish I could fix it without psychiatric help. I am surprised she has put up with me this long. I wondered if this was coming to an end. Is that why she has fixed this nice meal? The last time she worked this hard on something she had wanted to invite Emmett and his wife Rosalie over for the weekend. Of course, I don't know why I should expect anything more than what I get. I don't deserve that much from her.

"How was work?" She questioned.

"Fine." I muttered and felt an ounce of panic seep in. What if this is the end? What if this is her way of telling me she wants a divorce? What if this is our last night together? My heart ached at the thought and I swallowed down the lump of emotion in my throat.

I loved her. God I loved her so much. I hardly ever show it but sometimes I just don't know how. It's not like I have a horrible life story of never being shown love from a mother who didn't care or a father that beat me. I came from a very loving family and I should be able to show my affection without so many problems in doing so. If she did want a divorce it would all be my fault and I swear I would fight for her. At least I would like to think so. But I would be standing in the way of her happiness. She deserves to be happy. She deserves so much more than what I give her. Maybe it would be best to let her go. I would never be complete without her but if it were for her best interest…

"This is new." I found myself saying as I eyed my plate. I just had to find out the truth.

She chewed on her lip as she weakly said, "I just wanted to do something special."

Shit. This can't be good. "Why?" I asked anxiously and looked up at her nose. I couldn't look into those eyes and be shredded a little more inside. Because I knew that when I looked into those deep brown eyes they would tell me the truth. They would tell me what I feared the most. She was leaving.

"Can't I just make a nice meal for you?" She was getting defensive now.

"I suppose. Normally you want something when you do this sort of thing." I said and immediately regretted my bitter tone.

I could almost feel her anger floating towards the table. She looked down to her plate and mumbled, "I don't want anything."

Did that mean she didn't want a divorce? "Good." I sighed in relief and picked up my wine glass to take a sip. I was starting to get real worried. This was it. I would dump my ass too if I were her. I would leave me high and dry. She has done so much and I have done nothing for her in return.

We have grown apart so much in last few months. We hardly ever speak anymore unless it's this occasional small talk across the table. She lets me know if she is going out of town to her father's. I let her know if I am going to be home late…every once and awhile. We don't make love in anymore. The last time I got any was my birthday in June. It is currently August, the end of August. She doesn't look at me in the eye and I never look into her eyes because I don't want to see the hurt there that I have caused. We used to be so in love. I still love her but I haven't told her that in a long time. I chanced a look across the table and saw her jaw set tightly, her eyes were glazed over with unshed tears and I know that I am the one who put them there. It's my fault. If she wants this, I will give it to her. I pushed my empty plate away from me and grabbed my wine glass to chug down what was left. When I sat it down I took a deep breath and prepared myself.

I looked into her eyes and just accepted the hurt that I saw reflecting back at me. "You can have the house, Bella. I will give it up without a fuss. We don't have kids to worry about child support or anything to that degree. So I will let you keep the house and the car that I bought you."

I could definitely see the hurt now but I just stared at it anyway. I deserved the way she was looking at me. She blinked in confusion and then I could see something else register in her face. "Excuse me?"

I crossed my fingers and felt my heart beat out of my chest. I had to just get all of this out in the open. Say what I needed to say and move on. I would let her cuss me and tell me what she thought of me later. I would deserve it. "Well isn't this what you are getting to? This whole nice dinner…fixing my favorite meal, wearing that dress, lighting candles. Aren't you just buttering me up before you drop the bomb and tell me you want a divorce?" Ok…I could have been a bit more polite about that.

I saw her eyes glaze over once more and she frowned. "No Edward, it's not."

Oh. Thank God.

"Then why did you do it?" I asked softly. There had to be some reason.

She huffed and said slowly, "Because I wanted to do something nice for you." She picked up her wine glass and held it still before mumbling, "I wanted to make my husband happy for once."

I felt like shit just from two words. For once…she said it as if she has never made me happy. Well the way you treat her shit head… I had no one to blame but myself. I wish I did more. I wish that she could understand half of the crap that went on inside of my head. Bella shoved away from the table and cleared our plates. When she came back she asked if I would like some more wine and all I could do was simply nod. I want to fix this; I want things to be normal with her again. I want to be able to tell her I love her every moment of my day and I want her to believe it.

When our glasses were full again she sat down across the table from me and from her walk from my side to her seat I realized I had to do something. I had to start showing her I cared. I watched her sit down and gulp some of her wine down.

"How was your day?" I blurted unexpectedly.

"It was uh…it was fine." She stuttered out as if she were in shock that I was speaking to her in a calm manner.

I nodded and sipped from my glass. "The dinner was good. Thank you." Compliments…that's a good start…right?

"You're welcome." She said quickly as if afraid I would take it back.

I felt even worse than when I pulled into the garage. I needed time to think. I needed to sort out my thoughts. I stood up from the table and took my wine glass, heading for my office. On my way I asked, "Would you mind to leave some for me to take to work tomorrow?"

"No," I could hear her smile. "I'd love to."

I tried to grin slightly towards her but I just needed to get away and think. I moved quickly into my office and shut the door behind me. Moving over to my desk I fell down into my chair and ran an exhausted hand across my face. What have I done? What have I done with my life and my marriage? Three years ago I married the most amazing woman and I am letting her fall right out of my hands. I have to do something. I have to find a way to fix what I have done and make it right again. I sat my wine glass down and fired up the desk top to do what I always do when I am in here.

As I waited for the screen to boot up I stared at the picture of me and Bella on our wedding day that was sitting beside of my computer. She looked so lovely, dressed all in white and a smile on her face that held some sort of secret. She was so beautiful and her brown eyes were full of light and life and I wouldn't dare move my eyes from her that entire day. I was always afraid she would disappear and I would wake up from this dream. Even in the picture I was only looking at her. She was the love of my life…my reason for living. I couldn't let her out of my life. My computer screen glowed brightly in front of me so I put all of my undivided attention on it. Immediately searching through my documents and into my pictures, I clicked on the file that was labeled Bella.

Opening picture after picture of my beautiful wife. I looked at pictures from our past. I looked at our wedding pictures. I looked at our pictures from our senior trip, spring break, college, our honeymoon, and so much more. Before I realized it I had clicked on another file of pictures we also took on our honeymoon. I had forgotten about them and typed in the password, my Isabella. When the file was unlocked I gasped loudly at the image that popped up in front of me. Bella…touching herself. On our honeymoon we decided to take pictures of everything, and I do mean everything. We didn't want to forget a moment…especially this moment pictured in front of me. Our first time as a married couple. I swallowed hard and felt my heart beat nearly out of my chest as I clicked through the pictures slowly. I could feel the reaction in my dress slacks and I knew that it was a problem that would have to be solved. There was a video as well and before I got half way through it I was unzipping my pants and sliding my cock out.

I winced as the rough material scraped the head of my sensitive dick. Wrapping my hand around my throbbing member I watched intently as we moved together in a rhythm of our own. She was gorgeous and radiant with her long mahogany hair draped across the pillow and her mouth touching my ear. I hummed lightly as I continued to stroke my head up and down. I remembered her words that night as we made love. She was whispering into my ear over and over, I love you Edward…I am yours now. I love you.

I twitched against my palm and groaned lightly as my orgasm swept through me. A few seconds later I was planting my head to the desk and trying to calm my breathing. After visiting the bathroom that was attached to my office I shut the computer off and headed upstairs.

Bella was crawling into bed and pulling the covers up over her neck. Even in her t-shirt and shorts she looked so beautiful and my heart longed for her. I replayed what I had just seen downstairs in my head and felt my cock hardening again.

"You're up earlier than usual." She commented and lay down in the bed.

I began to unbutton my shirt as I replied, "Just really tired." And I wanted to be next to you.

She said nothing as she moved under the covers and turned her back to me. I changed quickly and flipped the lights off before sliding into bed. I set my alarm clock and settled against my pillow while I stared at the back of her head.

"Goodnight Bella." I said softly, almost in a whisper.

She was silent for a minute before responding, "Goodnight."

I chewed on my lip and swallowed hard as I stared at her. After a few minutes I said, "I love you."

She sighed softly and said, "I know Edward."

I grinned and rolled over with my back facing her as I drifted off to sleep.

A/N: So what do you think of Edward's self loving while looking at homemade porn! Who doesn't love that shit? I mean honestly.

Ok so drop me a review and let me know what you think. I will try my hardest to post the next chapter by at least this time next week :):):):)

Thanks to my awesome readers! You all complete me :D

*KRay*