Disclaimer: As much as I would like to own many things related to Star Wars (most especially Anakin), the only thing in the Star Wars universe thatI can legally lay claim tois a large collection of action figures, books, and T-shirts that my father insists is not a normal obsession for a nineteen-year-old college girl.
Crossing Over
"That's your brilliant plan?" Obi-Wan Kenobi stared at his former apprentice with a gaze that wavered between startled disbelief and complete refusal to even consider, much less go along with, such a crazy idea.
"It makes sense," Anakin replied defensively. "How else are we going to gain their trust?"
Obi-Wan groaned. "Look, Anakin, for some reason, I don't think that dressing up as women is going to gain their trust."
"If they don't figure it out…"
"Why did the Council even send us here?" Obi-Wan looked around the shady bar that the two men sat in. It swarmed with males of all species, since bars were one of the few places that males – the subordinate sex on the planet of Glasine IV – were permitted without a female companion. "The Glasine royals are infamous for their hatred of men," the Jedi Master continued, sighing. "Aayla and Shaak Ti should be meeting with the queen, not us."
"Are you actually questioning the supreme decrees of the all-knowing Jedi Council?" Anakin asked in mock incredulity.
"No, I'm just wondering what in the name of the Force I did wrong to end up on Glasine IV with an insane partner who wants to dress in women's clothing for the mission," Obi-Wan Kenobi snapped, only half-jokingly. To the Jedi Master's surprise, the younger man's brilliant blue eyes darkened, and his formerly-mischievous face fell.
"Don't say that, Master."
"What?" Obi-Wan asked, perplexed.
"I'm not insane." The pleading words sounded more like a question than a declarative statement. "My dreams really do mean something, you know that. And I'm trying to control the way I fight, I promise. I just get so mixed up sometimes, and then I…" Anakin's voice trembled and choked off, and he stared pathetically into his nearly-empty glass.
Obi-Wan put a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "It's okay, Ani," he attempted to reassure him. His Padawan – no, not his Padawan anymore, Obi-Wan reminded himself – had been extremely shaken up ever since the two left the slaughterhouse known as Jabiim three standard days ago. "You did well," he continued. "After all, you did save Barriss and re-secure the base pretty much single-handedly."
"But so many people died," Anakin countered in a low, timid tone. "I couldn't reach them all in time. And I killed so many people…I didn't mean to, I just wanted to get to Barriss and our clones, and I don't know what happened…" he rambled, before downing the rest of his drink in one gulp, slamming the dirty glass down on the even dirtier table, and furiously declaring, "I hate this war!"
"Ani, it's okay," Obi-Wan replied, breaking the silence that lingered in the wake of Anakin's tirade. "You're okay. Killing is a part of war. No Jedi likes it. We just-''
"But that's my point," Anakin interrupted. "I do like it."
His mentor lowered his glass in mid-sip and stared at the frowning twenty-one-year-old. Anakin's startling eyes now watered with pain and confusion.
"I didn't mean that," the young man quickly added. "I meant, I hate killing, but when I'm fighting, I get so caught up in it, and then I can't stop myself. I like it, but I hate it at the same time, and afterwards, I hate myself. I hate myself," he repeated quietly, not meeting Obi-Wan's gaze.
"Hey, can I have another drink?" Anakin waved his glass at the bartender in an attempt to change the subject. He was sick of war – sick of fighting it, sick of talking about it, sick of hearing about it, sick of dreaming about it. It made him want to vomit, cry, and kill himself all at once.
The bartender refilled Anakin's glass (for the fourth time, according to Obi-Wan's calculations), but before the young man could bring the drink to his mouth, the older Jedi Master gently took it out of Anakin's trembling hand. "I think you've had enough for one night, Ani."
Anakin stared at his Master, his bottomless turquoise eyes boring into Obi-Wan's gray-blue ones. "Come on, Anakin. Let's go." Obi-Wan put an arm around his former Padawan and started to lead him out the back door.
"Where?" Anakin asked, in a voice that rang with a sweet, childlike dependence.
"Well, we better find some clothes if we're going to pull off this plan of yours," Obi-Wan told his younger partner. It was a crazy idea, but it did make a strange sort of sense, and, Obi-Wan reasoned, it would do Anakin some good to get his mind off the war for a while.
"Too bad we're not at the Temple," Anakin remarked as the two exited into the crisp night and paused, gazing up at the thousands of stars and planets above them.
"Why?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I have a whole bunch of Padmé's dresses in my room," Anakin explained. "Though come to think of it, most of them are nightgowns, and they're pretty see-through, so we probably couldn't use those, anyways."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth, then just as quickly shut it again, shaking his head. "I'm not even going to ask," he muttered.
Anakin grinned innocently back at his former Master. "What you don't know can't hurt you, Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan only sighed and kept shaking his head.
The next morning, Obi-Wan Kenobi found himself shaking his head yet again as he followed Anakin through a clothing shop and watched in amazement as the sandy-blonde-haired young man expertly pulled dresses, high-heeled shoes, flashy jewelry, and bright makeup off the racks. Anakin halted before a mannequin wearing a long, lacy pink skirt with a large pink bow at the back of the waistband and turned to his mentor with an all-too-familiar glint in his eyes.
"What do you think, Master?" he asked mischievously. "Isn't it pretty?"
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "It looks like something Siri would have worn to one of the political socials we all love so much."
"Perfect," Anakin concluded with a smile as he grabbed the skirt straight off the mannequin and dragged Obi-Wan to the cash registers at the front of the store. "I'm sure you'll make her proud."
Obi-Wan groaned. "And I'm sure Siri's cringing in her grave."
"Her grave? What do you mean, Master? She's one with the Force, you know," Anakin retorted as he handed a huge pile of credits to the woman at the register, who glared at the two men as though they were wanted smugglers instead of galaxy-renowned peacemakers and infamous military leaders.
Obi-Wan nodded and smiled sadly. Talking about Siri was always painful, but at least he had eventually come to terms with the pain, just as he had when Qui-Gon Jinn had died. Obi-Wan turned to watch Anakin, who after a few minutes stopped shoving their extremely odd purchases into the bag he was holding as he realized that Obi-Wan was staring at him.
"What?" The young man cocked his head and met Obi-Wan's gaze. The questioning look in Anakin's eyes did not cover up the sorrow, confusion, and turmoil that constantly spilled from their depths. Obi-Wan, though by no means an emotional man, always felt like sobbing when he saw the pain in Anakin's eyes – the pain of slavery, torture, war, his mother's death, the loss of friends, the unbearable tragedy of forbidden love…Obi-Wan wondered whether his former apprentice would ever be able to come to terms with his pain. Yes, Obi-Wan had dealt with his own troubles, but his life, while certainly full of ups and downs, seemed like a joyride in a shiny new landspeeder compared to Anakin's experiences. Then again, most of the joy in Obi-Wan's life directly resulted from his relationship with his former Padawan – not that he would ever admit as much to Anakin.
"What?" Anakin asked again, his pouty lips frowning slightly.
Obi-Wan shook his head. "Nothing," he murmured, reaching up to barely stroke Anakin's cheek. "Come on, we better get going."
The older Jedi quickly withdrew his hand and turned to exit the clothing store, leaving the entirely perplexed Anakin to hurry after him. "Master, are you okay?" he called as he caught up with Obi-Wan and the two men hastened off down the bustling street.
"Of course," Obi-Wan replied. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You were just acting weird," Anakin responded. "I mean, I actually thought you were showing emotions and – dare I say it – attachment for a moment."
Obi-Wan scoffed dismissively. "Never," he insisted. "I may worry about you from time to time, but that certainly doesn't mean I'm attached to you." But Anakin noticed that his former Master refused to meet his eyes as he spoke.
Later that day, the two men stood in front of a huge, full-length mirror, dressed from head to toe in women's clothing and laughing hysterically. "You look gorgeous, Master," Anakin smirked as Obi-Wan straightened the long, curly red wig he wore.
"This is ridiculous," Obi-Wan replied. "Look at me!"
Anakin examined him closely, taking in the once-in-a-lifetime sight of the notoriously-stern, by-the-book Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi wearing a flouncy pink skirt, a ruffled top, a waist-length wig, and bright pink stilettos. The younger Jedi tried, rather unsuccessfully, not to laugh as Obi-Wan wobbled on his high-heeled shoes and tripped, falling into Anakin.
"It will just take a while to get used to," Anakin assured him, smoothing out his own black dress and playfully tossing his shoulder-length blonde wig. "Of course, you'll never be as incredibly sexy as me, but you could come close. Now stand still, I need to do your makeup."
"Ani, why do you even know how to put this stuff on?" Obi-Wan asked as Anakin expertly made up his Master, covering his eyelids in glittery, soft pink eye shadow and flushing his cheeks with rosy blush.
Anakin grinned. "This is nothing compared to all that dumb white Senatorial stuff poor Padmé has to wear all the time. Like she's not beautiful enough without makeup."
"And I'm not?" Obi-Wan joked, warily eyeing the lip gloss Anakin handed him.
"Well…"
The two men laughed again as they studied their new faces in the mirror. "This is so wrong," Obi-Wan moaned. "If anyone ever found out about this, I'd never live it down."
"Don't worry, Master, I already called HoloNet so they can get pictures," Anakin teased. "If you're lucky, you might even end up on one of their fashion programs. Probably something like Galaxy's Worst Dressed, but still…"
Obi-Wan groaned. "I thought I got rid of you when you became a Knight. What did I do to get stuck being your partner?"
"Thanks, Master, I love you, too," Anakin replied, picking up his flowery purse. "Come on, let's go."
A few standard hours later, the two "women" stood in front of Kalinaa Rae, Glasine IV's incredibly thin, too-gorgeous queen, curtsied politely, and introduced themselves as Republic Ambassadors Ani and Kenobila.
"What kind of name is that?" Anakin whispered through the Force once his former Master greeted the queen and her all-female court.
"Shut up," came the curt reply, but Obi-Wan's heavily made-up eyes were twinkling.
To Anakin's credit, the disguises played out perfectly, and in only half a day, the two Jedi had managed to convince the queen to lend her considerable financial support to the Republic's struggles in the Clone Wars. To top it all off, Anakin and Obi-Wan were even invited to stay and dine with the royal court.
"I really don't know," Obi-Wan replied to Queen Kalinaa Rae's request, attempting to diplomatically decline the offer. He wanted to get out of the palace – and the clothes – as soon as possible. "We probably should be going if we want to make it back to Coruscant before the next Senate meeting."
The queen rolled her mascara-thick eyes and tossed her short blue hair dismissively. "Why? Just to listen to that pretentious little Senator Amidala go on and on about clone rights and negotiations?"
Anakin started abruptly and glared at the royal woman. Obi-Wan subtly put a warning arm on Anakin's shoulder. "Don't," he whispered. "Just let it go."
But his advice, as usual, was lost on the hot-tempered young man, although Anakin did pause momentarily as if sizing up the situation before remarking almost nonchalantly, "I actually happen to enjoy Senator Amidala's company."
Obi-Wan chortled at the seriously understated nature of the comment. The queen regarded Anakin with her extremely made-up violet eyes. "If you say so. You Republic politicians have to put up with so many idiots that I guess she must not seem so bad in comparison. But she's a bit too activistic for my taste. And besides, from what my connections on Coruscant tell me, she's been spending way too much time with my future lover." She smiled wickedly at her ladies-in-waiting, who laughed at the inside joke.
"I'm sorry?" Obi-Wan ventured, entirely confused by this point.
The tallest lady-in-waiting chuckled and explained, "Her Majesty is in love with a certain young Hero with No Fear."
"Oh, it's not love, I assure you," the queen retorted. "Anything but. I just want to seduce him. Anakin's so…beautiful. He'd be a perfect slave. Don't you agree?"
Obi-Wan struggled to keep a straight face, and even Anakin, though usually mortally offended by the merest mention of slavery, had to make a conscious effort not to roll his eyes at the type of slavery the queen clearly had in mind. "Uh, yes, definitely," Obi-Wan finally managed, refusing to so much as meet his best friend's eyes for fear of bursting into laughter. "And I'm sure he feels the same way about you," he continued, more to keep the sputtering Anakin quiet than anything else. "He probably only spends so much time with the Senator from Naboo out of pure necessity."
Anakin cleared his throat. "We really should be going," he suggested, infusing his voice with the power of the Force.
"Yes, you really should be going," the queen repeated, and the two men, relieved, hastily curtsied and took their leave of the court.
As soon as they left the castle, Anakin and Obi-Wan threw off their disguises, wiped off their makeup, and changed back into their Jedi robes. "Never again," Anakin groaned, shaking his brown-blonde hair emphatically.
"It was your idea," Obi-Wan reminded him with a smile.
"Well, I didn't exactly plan on discussing mine and Padmé's relationship."
"There should be nothing to talk about. Besides, how can you even think of Padmé now that you know Queen Kalinaa Rae of Glasine IV wants to seduce you and make you her love slave?" the older Jedi retorted sarcastically.
"And how can I ever sleep soundly again now that I know you think I'm hot?" Anakin countered, and the partners exploded into cheerful laughter that continued unabated as they walked back to their starship parked on the outskirts of the capital city.
Their chuckles faded into amicable silence as Anakin greeted R2-D2 and began running pre-flight checks. Obi-Wan settled into the co-pilot's seat and watched his former Padawan, glad to see that the long-absent playful spark had returned to Anakin's vivid blue eyes.
"What is it, Master?" Anakin asked as he took off. "You're staring at me again. I know you're attracted to me, but still…I'm just not like that. Sorry. You'll have to try Mace."
Obi-Wan chuckled. For some reason, Anakin had always been convinced that Master Windu was gay. The purple lightsaber might have had something to do with it. "I always have so much fun when we're together," the older Jedi Master began, his tone serious. "I just want you to be happy again, Ani."
Struck by the concern and pure love in Obi-Wan's voice, Anakin turned to regard his mentor. "Thank you," he murmured softly. "I really appreciate that."
Obi-Wan put an arm around his former apprentice and ruffled his shoulder-length hair in a protective, fatherly manner. "I'll always be here for you, Anakin. Always."
Anakin briefly took his hands off the controls and hugged Obi-Wan tightly. To his amazement, the Jedi Master, usually uncomfortable with all shows of emotion and demonstrations of affection, did not pull away. "Good," Anakin said. He smiled at Obi-Wan, and just as he returned to piloting, burst out into another round of laughter.
"What?" Obi-Wan asked. "Did you really think I had no feelings at all?"
"It's not that," Anakin replied, by now laughing so hard he could barely keep the ship flying on a straight vector. "It's just…well, I'd check a mirror before making our report to the Council. You still have your eye shadow on."