Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling.
Special, heartfelt thanks to sarenia for her enormous beta help! :)
PROFESSOR MALFOY
OneShot
"I know the Goblin Rebellions are incredibly exciting, but if Miss Lu and Miss Johnson could please refrain from commenting on them while I talk, I'd greatly appreciate it."
Miss Lu, a short Ravenclaw girl, blushed and looked at her notes while the whole class laughed. On the other hand, her friend, a redheaded Gryffindor that surprisingly wasn't a Weasley, pouted.
"But Professor Malfoy, Sarah and I were just mentioning how amaaazingly exciting everything is." She waved a hand. "You know, all that fighting and cursing and Goblin-ing."
Draco arched an eyebrow.
"Well, we could always talk about all that Goblin-ing after class. In detention, maybe," he added for good measure. Merlin knew that teenage girls didn't always take indirects.
The girl blanched. "That won't be necessary, sir," she muttered.
"I'm glad. As I was saying, and you should know by now, in 1752 the Goblin Rebellions caused numerous problems for wizards, especially for the Ministry..."
Draco Malfoy had never thought he would end up teaching at Hogwarts.
In fact, he had never wanted it. More school? Dealing with people he hadn't liked even when he was their age? Correcting assignments and exams? No, thank you. He'd already had enough with eight years at Hogwarts; he didn't need more.
But then, Professor, er, Headmistress McGonagall had written to him. Hogwarts was launching a new subject for first and second year muggleborn students, Magical Culture and Civilization, and she wanted him to teach it. The reasoning behind it was that he, as a wizard descending from both of the most important magical families in Britain, had a deep understanding of the magical culture and traditions, which made him an ideal candidate for the position. That he had been a Death Eather was apparently irrelevant to her, because as the whole world knew by now, Draco had left those beliefs behind him.
As such, he had entered Hogwarts for the second time, but this time on a different role. At first, he had started teaching just MCC, barely seven hours a week, but for some reason the students loved him to pieces, and he didn't dislike them, so the crazy witch, er, Headmistress McGonagall, completely disregarding his own opinion, decided that teaching was his life's calling.
Now, he taught MCC to first and second years, History of Magic to third, fourth, and sixth years (Professor Binns wouldn't stop, so they had to take turns), and he also made special classes to fifth and seventh years in preparations of their exams. He still didn't know how on Earth he managed to –barely– have a life outside of Hogwarts, because he taught to the whole bloody school.
At least, he sighed, his wife loved that he taught at Hogwarts, and would use any opportunity available to visit him. And, because he didn't live in the castle, he didn't have to do nightly rounds, something he hated when he was a Prefect.
And anyways, there were some good things about his job. Some days it was even nice.
"Professor Malfoy, I have a question."
"Yes?"
"Is it true that your wife is pregnant?" asked the boy with a wide grin. He didn't look repentant in the least.
The whole class laughed, and Draco barely managed to conceal his eye roll. Of course, of bloody course they wanted to waste their time on ridiculous questions.
"Mr. Shafiq, I have another question." Draco levelled him with a Snape-worthy glare. "Are you truly planning on passing this class, or are you here simply to keep Mr. Thompson company? Because I fail to see how my personal life is going to help you."
"But sir, if you answer this question I may stop spending my time reading The Prophet and start studying," answered the boy shamelessly. Had Gryffindors always been like this?
"Well, while I can't profess to understand your fascination with my private life, I can assure you that the second we know my wife is pregnant I'll inform you. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to continue my class."
"But does that mean your wife isn't pregnant?"
"Jack, shut up and let Professor Malfoy continue!" exclaimed a girl, glaring fiercely at him. "It's obvious his wife isn't pregnant, have you seen the tight dress she wore to the Annual Ministry Gala? She definitely doesn't have a baby in her tummy." With that, she turned to Draco and smiled beatifically up at him. "You can continue now, sir."
"Thank you, Miss Pucey, for letting me continue my own class. I couldn't be more grateful," he drawled, amused.
Draco hated correcting.
Seeing just how much the students ignored him on a daily basis always put him on a bad mood, and half the time he also had to deal with grammatical and orthographical errors an eight-year-old wouldn't do. It made him worry for the future of the Wizarding World, which, according to the exams he was currently marking, wasn't very brilliant.
"Can you believe the exams those idiots masquerading as fourth years have done? If they are all like the four I've just corrected, there's going to be a massacre," ranted Draco, throwing his quill on the desk. "I can't believe it. Do they ignore everything I say?"
Hermione looked up from the law she was currently trying to find faults to and smiled at him. They usually worked together in their study, both comfortable in the silence but knowing they could always talk to each other.
"I'm sure they're not that bad, Draco."
"The first female Minister for Magic was a very intelligent witch, and she's my idol," he read aloud, and then looked at her. "And the question was, Who was the first female Minister for Magic? I think it's not too difficult to answer. Any first year could answer that! I only needed the name!"
She cringed. "Maybe they just didn't study much?" Hermione suggested, trying to appease him.
"Well, that's the problem! I expect work from them, not idiocy! I swear I still don't know what I'm doing teaching. I'm going to end up with a heart attack one day," he groused, taking a sip of wine and forcing himself to relax. "I hate correcting."
"Stop being a baby, Draco." Hermione shook her head and smiled. "You just have to correct the fourth years, and then we can go out for dinner."
"Yes, please, I need to distract myself because I swear these students will be the death of me."
After fifteen minutes of silence, Draco suddenly got up, walked around the room, and sat down again, breathing heavily. "I'm going to kill them," he muttered.
"What is it this time?" she asked, amused. Listening to his students' mistakes was much more amusing than a law about housecleaning spells, anyway.
"Apparently, the first female Minister for Magic will be you when you get elected," he said, rolling his eyes. "No, you idiot, it was Artemisia Lufkin in the eighteenth century!" he screamed at the exam. "They are so lucky I can't see who has done each exam until I've corrected them all, because I'd skin them alive."
Hermione repressed a smile and got up. "Come on, you need a break. Let's do something fun, you'll finish correcting tomorrow."
"Or never, because I'll be dead," he muttered darkly.
"Professor Malfoy!" shouted a chorus of voices. Reflexively, Draco turned around, wand in hand, only to see a bunch of first years smiling at him.
"Yes?" he asked wearily, pocketing the wand. They were Hufflepuffs, he observed.
"Have you corrected the third years' exams yet? How are they going? Do you think my brother will get a good mark?" started to ask a girl, only to be rudely interrupted by one of her friends.
"And your wife? Is it true she's going to run for Minister? She'd make a great Minister! Tell her I loved the shoes she wore to Ronald Weasley's birthday celebration!"
"When is that assignment for MCC due?!" panicked another. "I can't remember what it was about! Please don't fail me, Professor Malfoy!"
Patience, Draco, he reminded himself. They were only first years, after all.
"If your brother studied, he will get a good mark, Miss Mayson; my wife will be delighted to hear that, Miss Taylor; and you already handed over the assignment, Miss Firth, stop panicking," he answered evenly, trying to stop their chattering.
They beamed at him, and he smiled back, albeit a little awkwardly. "If that's all, have a good day," he added, before he started to walk to the Headmistress' office.
They had to discuss the ridiculous Spring Ball that McGonagall had insisted on implementing seven years ago.
"Well, as you all know by now, on the Spring Ball the seventh years are expected to open the ball with a traditional wizarding dance. And, as such, it is my obligation to make sure you actually know how to dance and don't embarrass yourselves in front of the whole school. Before I start, I need to know if any of you has any kind of problem with dancing, coordination, or any other thing I should be aware of."
The seventh years looked at him with a variety of expressions on their faces. Some looked delighted, some showed incredulity, some had blanched, but the majority of the students displayed worry on their faces. As usual, nobody said anything.
"The dance of this year is a simple English Waltz, which will be danced in opposite-sex couples, and all of the couples will form a circle. We're not going to do pirouettes or difficult things; to be honest, I'll be happy if you can all dance with simple grace and following the tempo."
The students continued to be unusually quiet, which Draco thought a good thing. At least this year there wouldn't be riots.
"Now, before I'll let you listen to the music you'll dance to and pair up, I need to address a few things. Girls, in this dance you'll be led by your partner, so you just have to follow around. Of course, in the event that your partner dances so abysmally you are embarrassing yourselves, you may do what you can to try and counteract the horror, but the purpose of this classes is to avoid that situation." He quieted and looked around. Nobody said anything, but most of the boys looked quite ill at the thought of having to lead the dance. "Boys, leading your partner means that you have to know the steps and the tempo really well to actually lead well. So please, pay attention and dance as well as you can. Also, you're going to have to be very careful: the girls are probably going to wear high heels and long dresses, so if you can avoid stepping on the dresses, making your partner stumble, and similar disasters, it would be for the best."
"Yeah, if someone ruins my dress I'm going to kill him!" exclaimed a girl, with such a voice that her classmates laughed loudly.
Even Draco smiled at that. "Well, you heard her. You better not ruin any dresses, or it may be the last thing you'll do in your life. Now, pair up."
The girls blushed, the boys looked around, and Draco rolled his eyes. Typical, they didn't have any problems being friends, but the second they were asked to pair up for a dance, they suddenly were all celibate and shy.
"I said pair up, not marry," he growled. "Either you do it yourselves or I do it for you."
Suddenly, the whole class was very interesting in pairing up with their friends, which they hadn't found until just that second. Draco rolled his eyes again.
Teenagers.
"To the attention of Mr. Jack Shafiq;
I am writing to you to inform you, as I promised, that my wife is pregnant, due in seven months. You're the first person to know this, so I must please ask you not to say anything for two days or so; then you can gossip to your heart's content.
Because now you're informed and can stop reading The Prophet, I should think that your final exams will go very well. After all, you aren't there just to keep Mr. Thompson company, are you?
Best wishes,
Professor Draco Malfoy"
Jack, with a wide-eyed look that matched the owl's, dropped the letter in top of his History of Magic revision notes.
"Merlin," he whispered. Now he really did have to get good marks; Professor Malfoy would kill him if he didn't. "Holy shit."
After all, he did have to kill time for two days, before launching the news at the whole school.
Hogwarts would never know what hit it.
"I have to admit, I am very impressed with your exams. In a good sense," Draco added, seeing the pale faces and the expressions of worry.
"You have already corrected the exams?", asked a girl weakly from the third row. She didn't look too eager to see her mark. "But we did them on Tuesday, and it's only Thursday!"
"I am aware of that, Miss Gray. I own a calendar too," he said, amused. "Now, if nobody has anything to add, I will distribute the exams now."
Silence dragged on for a few moments, and so Draco, with a flick of his wand, handed out the high pile of exams on his desk to the whole class.
In mere seconds, the normally respectful class started to shout and laugh, talking to each other and sharing their marks. He smirked. They did have a good reason to share their mark.
"I HAVE PASSED!" screamed the same girl that didn't want to see her mark before. "I can't believe it, I've got an Acceptable! I have passed!" she repeated again, before standing up and running to the front of the class.
Draco barely had time to blink before the girl tackled him into a hug, sobbing. He tried not to laugh as he patted her hair.
"Miss Gray, this is most uncouth," he said kindly. "Maybe you'll want to hug one of your friends?"
"No! I have passed, I can't believe it!" She was full-on sobbing now, and Draco passed her a handkerchief.
He looked at the class, who was happily laughing, and shrugged. "If anybody here wants to hug Miss Gray for me…"
"Let me," said another girl, who took her friend by the arm and dragged her back to her seat. "She's a drama queen", she added, smiling.
"But you don't understand, I've passed!" Miss Gray repeated, incredulously. "This is the first exam I have passed in the whole year! I thought I was destined to fail History for the rest of my life!"
Draco laughed. "Nobody is destined to fail something for the rest of their life, Miss Gray. You only had some difficulties, but as you've seen, it's not impossible to pass."
"Yeah, that's what my mother says, too!" added a boy, disgruntled, "But I still can't fry an egg!"
Laughs could be heard from every person in the class, and Draco shook his head.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have to talk about something serious now." They all looked at him, expectantly, and he smiled. "You have all passed the mock exams, for which I congratulate you, but may I remind you that your O. W. L. are in barely a month?"
The students groaned.
"Oh, stop giving me that look! You know Hogwarts is a never-ending source of things to do! Talking about, has any of you started your assignments about magical families?"
Another class groan.
"Okay, I won't talk about that now." Before they started to cheer, Draco added, almost evilly, "But know that I expect at least 3,000 words."
Ah, the little joys of teaching.
What did you think? Draco as a Professor haunted me until I finally gave in to him and wrote this. I may even write some more because I honestly enjoyed this a lot, it was super fun to write!
Also, please be aware that English is my second language, and sarenia's too, so there may be some mistakes we didn't catch. Please point them out if you see them!
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it! Let me know in the reviews below :)
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