Healing Process
Part I: Conversations with the ex-girlfriend and the wife.
Watching your child lying in a hospital bed with a machine pumping air into her lungs is a scary thing for any parent. But for two of the most successful and well respected surgeons in the country, being on the other side of a situation that they faced everyday was terrifying.
Wires and tubes ran from various machines into Quinn's tiny frame. She looked so vulnerable lying there. Addison was curled up in the bed holding their daughter. Both were asleep having succumbed to the trials of the long day. Derek rose quietly and slipped out of the room. He walked for a long time before he found himself in the hospital courtyard. He sat down and rubbed his eyes.
"You look like you've been through the ringer," said a voice from behind him.
Derek turned to see Meredith coming toward him.
"Thanks."
She sat down beside him and nothing was said for a moment.
"So you have a daughter?"
"I have a daughter."
"How is she?"
"Fine." He paused. "She didn't know that I was leaving."
"Who didn't know?"
"Quinn. The night I left New York, I went home to get my things and I went into her room. She woke up, I kissed her good night, told her I loved her and I left."
"And you came here."
"And I came here, too wrapped up in my own pain, anger, and resentment to think about what I had left behind. She refused to speak to me and I don't blame her."
"My dad did that," Meredith quietly.
"He did?"
"Yeah, he did. He put me to bed and when I woke up he was gone. He never did come back or call. Quinn will forgive you. You're too hard to hate, it's too much work."
Derek smiled at this, "Thanks."
"She's lucky to have you both as her parents. I wish my mom had been like Addison. She actually cares about her family."
"Now she does. But things were different in New York. We were both so wrapped up in our careers that family came second. We were selfish. I was selfish."
"Who went to Quinn's school stuff, like her plays and parent teacher conferences?"
"We both went, why?"
"Did you sit all the way through them?"
"Addison did." He paused. "But I didn't. She only got called away once."
"My mother never came to my school stuff. Well not never, but hardly ever."
"I was selfish."
"You are a devoted surgeon."
"And a lousy father."
"You're not now. You can start fresh Derek. Isn't that why you came here?"
"Yes."
Meredith smiled, "See? Not so bad after all."
"My niece Ava would tell me to stop being so dramatic." He chuckled. "She's a theatre major at NYU."
"Sounds like my kind of woman."
"You'd like her."
Meredith's pager buzzed, "I'd better get back inside."
"Yeah. Me too."
They rose and walked back inside before departing for separate parts of the hospital.
When Derek returned to Quinn's room, Addison was awake.
"Have a nice nap?" he asked coming into the room.
"As good as can be expected in this situation. Where were you?"
"I went to get some air," he said and silence filled the air for a moment. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"Not being there. I got so wrapped up in work that family came second."
"Derek…."
"Do you remember when Quinn was born?"
Addison laughed, "Of course I do. That was one of the rare times I had to give up control to someone else."
"I was late that day, remember? I had a surgery that I was doing and instead of postponing it until the next day, which I could have I did it. And I almost missed Quinn being born."
"But you didn't."
"I've missed so many moments Addi," Derek said quietly. "So many things that you were there for and I wasn't."
"You're here now, we both are," she said kissing his forehead
Quinn stirred and opened her eyes, a frown crossing her face. She whimpered.
Addison went to her, "Hi baby girl." The breathing tube had been removed an hour before and upgraded to an oxygen mask making Quinn a lot more comfortable.
"Mama…" Quinn croaked softly, her throat sore from the tube.
"How do you feel?"
"Mad"
"Are you mad at me sweetheart?" Derek asked.
Quinn nodded, "You left and didn't say goodbye."
Derek sighed, "Yeah I did and I'm sorry. I swear I won't do it again."
"Promise?"
"Yes," he kissed her forehead. "I promise."
"Does that mean we can go home now?"
"Now that is something that can wait," Addison said smiling and perching on the bed. "You need to rest young lady."
"But I'm not tired," Quinn said as her eyelids began to get heavy again.
"I'll tell you what," Addison said letting Quinn cuddle into her arms. "Let's just you and me have some quiet time, like back at home in New York."
"Okay Mama," Quinn whispered. "And daddy too?"
"And me too," said Derek getting on the bed.
Within a few minutes, mom, dad, and daughter were all sleeping peacefully.
R/R please!