Time and time again.
Dear friends,
We are regrettably slightly late with the newest chapter of Zootopia: If It Ever Happens due to technical reasons (your servant has been travelling and needs a mite more time to get the chapter and sketch finished, proof read, scanned, the lot). The next chapter (which yours truly is incredibly excited about, all things considered, as the pace will be picking up a bit) will be up June the 27th instead of the original release date. Our apologies!
All is not said and done however, as your faithful servant despises missed deadlines, especially inasmuch as fanfiction is concerned (the wait, the thwarted hope and anticipation, the pure angst). Being half-way decent (no need to mention the other, indecent half so very publicly) your humble servant could hardly thus leave you in the lurch on the day you had been promised some fresh Zootopia fanfiction.
That consideration, as well as the discovered pleasure and utility of small written sketches for one's better understanding and development of a fandom universe, and, of course, a very timely prompt received via PM (Thank you NextGeneration18!) have moved us to offer you in form of a small substitution, and to stay your appetite until next week and the new chapter, this little study.
Dear friends, if you feel so inclined, here is a small sketch taking place years after the events of the film and the If It Ever Happens fanfic, in which Nick and Judy are faced with a fresh danger they could hardly have anticipated - their teenage daughter heading out on her very first date. (!)
Yes, very well, a final reason that moved us to write this is that Nick and Judy being already hitched is just too much fun to portray :)
"I shall leave here my fancies and dreams to bless the next comer," said Anne.
-Lucy Maud Montgomery, 'Anne of the Island.'
"I don't see it," Judy said, shrugging. She had come out into the sitting room, hearing Nick calling to her. The practical rabbit had kept mixing the cake batter with a wooden spoon, the bowl held firmly in her other paw. Bunnies are generally excellent multitaskers, you see; their traditionally large families put quite the strain on the parents. True, Judy's own brood was so much smaller than your typical rabbit family (possibly because it was not, of course, a one hundred percent rabbit family) but the young mother was more than used to juggle several tasks simultaneously in an efficient unruffled manner.
So it was that, having started out on her famous pineapple carrot cake, Judy worked away doggedly despite interruption after interruption, courtesy of her youngsters. Or of her esteemed spouse for that matter.
Said spouse was showing very small surprise at seeing his better half thus dividing her attention between concocting the cake the children would demand at tea time and answering his summons, which had sounded every bit urgent and important, if one were to judge by his tone. As it transpired once Judy had made her entrance in the living room, the would be life-and-death matter was no more than a question of the order in which several photos were to be arranged on the mantelpiece.
Judy had to hide her smile as, following her remark, her dear husband struck an affected pose, waving a photo frame at her reprovingly.
"Mrs Wilde," was how Nick chose to address her, his voice grave. "I am getting a feeling here, a sort of notion that you haven't quite grasped the full situation."
"By 'situation' you mean nothing more than whether Jamey's or Janet's photo should go on the right, is that correct?" Judy queried, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't see how you can express your thoughts so candidly on such a relevant topic Mrs Wilde," Nick tod Judy in a would be haughty voice, still pointing the frame at her. "But yes, yes that's exactly what I meant by 'situation'. And let me lay it out for you again."
The fox proceeded to set the photo he had been holding on the mantelpiece carefully, along with several others that had already been resting there. Judy had to grin fondly at the line-up. Mister and Mrs Nicholas Wilde had gotten into the habit, you see, of getting a new photo of each of their five children printed and framed every year before school started, and then of displaying them proudly on the aforementioned mantelpiece. The old photos depicting the Wilde children of one year ago would be moved to a thick family album. Only the largest photo present on the mantel had remained unchanged for the last seventeen years - a shot from Nick and Judy's wedding day. Judy's face softened as her gaze wandered over it, but there was a bemused gleam in her eye as she remembered that fateful day. Joyful it had been, but more than lengthy it had also been. (One could indeed discern the minister who had married them among the crowd in the background of the shot, his sloth face beaming sleepily)
Besides this wedding shot, the photos of the children rotated year after year, as explained. Their order however, remained unchanged. The eldest child, Jamey's, portrait always came first after the wedding photo, followed by Janet's picture and so on, in the order of birth.
It was with this tradition of many years' standing that Jamey and Janet's father apparently had an issue with, for what he was most ardently proposing to Judy was to invert the lifelong order by placing Janet's photo first and Jamey's second. Judy looked on, perplexed, as her dearest fox set Janet's photo down confidently.
"How can you do this Nick?" Judy asked incredulously. "You know we always do these things in order of age. You can't just change that randomly, you'll get them to argue!"
"Randomly!" Nick held a theatrical paw to his heart. "My dear Mrs Wide, you are the light of my miserable existence, yet your lovely fathomless rabbit eyes sometimes seem to miss the obvious. Consider: with her auburn fur, isn't it true that Janet looks much better closer to my picture than further away from it? Red brings out red my dear, look closely."
"You are the limit Nick," Judy was mixing again, trying to make her voice sound angry for real, which was very hard to do. Nick was so very sweet with his teasing that she had a hard time having anything resembling a serious discussion with him. "Just put those photos right now before I really get mad." she was biting her laugh back with difficulty.
"You are so very particular," Nick shook his head at her sadly. "I thought marriage would improve you, really, I did, back when I was still young and naive. 'Put it right' you say, but what is 'right', and isn't there more than one way of being 'right'? Why not group the pictures by artistic appeal rather than by your Cartesian age criteria? Look at the frames, my dear, take a moment to admire them; they are meant to be looked on after all. Can't you appreciate the aesthetic aspect?"
Judy heaved a hefty sigh and ran her eyes down the line of portraits obediently, never ceasing her batter stirring. Nick looked on at her happily, his ears perking up eagerly at the exact moment when Judy suddenly stopped mixing, her eyebrows shooting up.
"Nicholas Piberius," she covered her eyes with the back of her paw for a moment, the spoon still clutched tightly in her grasp. "Is that why you started this charade? It's nothing to do with changing the order of the kids' portraits, is it? For the sake of caramel custard, why on earth do you still have that photo? And why did you get it printed and framed?"
"To display it for everyone's enjoyment of course," Nick shot back, his eyes dancing with suppressed mirth. He smirked fondly at the little frame that Judy had finally noticed among the others, the one containing a shot of herself from long ago. The quality was not superb, it had been taken with a cell phone quite a few years ago. One discerned Miss Judy Hopps quite clearly though, standing startled in her parents' house at Bunnyburrow, her pyjamas stamped with 'Fluffy IS Cute' and emblazoned with little romping bunnies.
"I consider it the best photo I have ever taken," Nick said modestly.
"You have to be the most aggravating animal I know," Judy muttered, removing her paw from her brow.
"Hmm. And yet you married me Ma'am, of your own free will I might add. What does that make you?"
"A dumb, dumb, very dumb bunny," Judy stated emphatically. "Your life's ambition is tormenting me after all, that much is obvious. It must be the sole reason you asked me to marry you."
"Well, not the sole reason, no," Nick returned easily, sticking his paws in his trouser pockets with a faintly suggestive shrug and a smile.
"Is that so?" Judy had to smile back, her wrist on her hip, the wooden spoon poking out at an angle. "What other reason could there have been Mister Wilde? Enlighten us."
"You make good cake Carrots," Nick replied very readily, indicating the bowl of batter, his eyes shining bright green.
Judy pointed her spoon of a weapon at the fox threateningly.
"Nicholas Piberius," she pronounced. "Remove that photo frame. Last call."
Husbands and wives, after being married awhile, will know instinctively when further opposition is futile. Nick had been with his Missus long enough to appreciate in a heartbeat that he had had his fun, and further wavering on his side would only bring all of a rabbit's wrath down on his red head.
Down came the shot of Judy in her PJs, and Janet's photo took its rightful place after Jamey's. Nick glanced at his eldest daughter's portrait fondly. Janet was a rare colouring for a rabbit; auburn fur and emerald eyes that made her look as the foxiest kind of rabbit there was. Her clever impish smile probably helped in that account as well.
"Sixteen in a month huh," Nick shook his head incredulously. "I remember how you were pureeing eggplant for her like it was yesterday Carrots."
"Tell me about it," Judy agreed a little wistfully. "My Mom and Dad used to annoy me so much with their 'they grow up so fast' routine, but now I feel like echoing them day in and day out."
"Where is that kid anyway?" Nick asked suddenly, jerking a thumb at Janet's photo. "I didn't get the feeling she was heading out with the little ones for their sundae outing thing? Jamey had said he'd take them cause Big Sis had 'other plans'? Did I hear that correctly down in the hall?"
"Your hearing is very fine for a fox sometimes," Judy commented, turning on her heel to head back to the kitchen.
"My memory hasn't yet been affected by old age either, you'll find," Nick stated emphatically, following her in a heartbeat. "If you think I didn't notice your avoiding my question, you've got another think coming Carrots. Where did that girl go? I can tell that you know. "
"Oh, she felt like heading out to a smoothie bar or something," Judy said evasively, rummaging in a cupboard. "So I gave her a tenner and off she went. Have you seen the cinnamon? Has someone hidden it?"
"Why didn't she go with her siblings then for Pete's sake?" Nick questioned suspiciously, his nose twitching in agitation. "Don't tell me they couldn't go get sundaes and then stop at the smoothie place?"
"I think she wanted to hang out with some of her friends," Judy mumbled, shaking the cinnamon into a small measuring spoon. "She's a teenager, she can't be expected to go out with her little brothers and sisters all the time."
"Oh," Nick's ears drooped a bit as he digested this information. He seemed to relax a tad. "Yeah, I see. So whom did she go with then? Alice and Kate, her best pals, right?"
Judy made no reply, bending over the kitchen counter and slowly shaking coconut shavings into the mixing bowl with so much precision it was as if her existence depended on it. Nick frowned, his gaze fixed on his wife intently.
"Don't tell me you don't know whom she's out with Carrots," he said, sternly crossing his paws on his chest. "You're Missus 'check everything twice where my kids are concerned'. What are you hiding from me?"
Judy heaved a sigh and faced her husband wearily.
"Of course I checked whom she was meeting up with Nick, no worries," she replied patiently. "And it is one of her classmates, just not... not Alice and Kate this time. It's a very nice young rabbit though - don't freak out please - a young rabbit in her class named Timmy. She's told me a bit about him, he sounded very nice."
Nick stared at Judy for ten full seconds, his paws still crossed on his chest, until the penny dropped. The resulting clunk was ear-splitting.
"You don't mean Janet's gone on a date?" he gasped, aghast, as if he was uttering some terrible swear word.
"Oh Nick, don't look like that," Judy said in exasperation, laying a comforting paw on his arm. "She is almost sixteen, like you just said. And she is sensible for her age, and this Timmy really does sound very nice-"
"Oh does he now," Nick muttered darkly through clenched teeth.
"He does," Judy countered evenly. "And I think it's great that Janet is blossoming socially. She was really excited about meeting up with him too!
"Sure, she'd be excited about seeing him over a smoothie or in some cafe," Nick exclaimed, running his paws through his fur in stress. "But what about him? Don't get me started on teenage guys Carrots, who knows what he has in mind."
"I wouldn't worry," Judy replied soothingly, patting Nick's arm encouragingly. "You know Janet, she won't do anything stupid. Besides, I've already had 'the talk' with her quite a while ago."
This statement, apparently meant to calm Nick, had exactly the opposite effect than the one that was intended. The fox jumped about a foot in the air as if he had been drenched in boiling water and gaped at the rabbit in stark horror.
"For the love of - she's just a kid Carrots! You can't be serious!"
"She's almost sixteen," Judy reiterated. "Better have the talk sooner than later and be sure, don't you think?"
Nick seemed speechless. He opened his mouth and closed it two times in a row. Unable to speak, he wildly (pun intended) performed a series of random gestures.
"What on earth are you on about Nick?" Judy asked, rolling her eyes.
"Car keys," the fox got out. "Where are they?"
"Bedside table, as usual," Judy said, raising an eyebrow. "Why?"
"I take it you know where this famous smoothie place is Mrs Wilde?" Nick looked at his wife squarely.
"No," Judy covered her mouth with her paws. "You can't Nick! What will you say?"
"Nothing, if everything is in order," Nick replied, suddenly becoming cool and collected. "I'll just drop by casually and check that things are going OK. Janet and her rabbitfriend won't even know I'm there."
"What if she sees you?" Judy cringed in horror. "She would be so embarrassed!"
"She won't see me," Nick said smoothly. "Don't we have enough undercover experience Carrots? Now, the address please?"
Judy met his gaze over the mixing bowl.
Husbands and wives will often know, at a glance really, when further resistance is futile. Judy could tell immediately that she had little to no choice.
"I'll come with you," she sighed, before turning to store the bowl of cake batter in the fridge.
"He looks extremely dodgy," was Nick's firm comment.
Mister and Mrs Nicholas Wilde were seated in the Happy Hippo cafe, just across the street from the Fresh Shakes smoothie bar. From their strategically chosen table they could easily discern their daughter Janet's excited profile behind the Fresh Shakes' window. Janet was talking animatedly, waving her auburn furred paws in the air, her ears poking right up, the handsome violet scrunchie she had fastened around one ear twinkling in the sun. She was indeed just as bouncy and bubbly as her mother when she was talking about something that appealed to her.
Opposite her sat the young rabbit that could only be the infamous Timmy. His fur was a tawny brown, a much calmer and commoner shade among rabbits. The young boy was drinking his smoothie through a straw and listening to Janet intently. As Janet's parents watched on, Timmy threw his head back and laughed suddenly, his boyish face alive with mirth.
"Janet sure knows how to deliver a joke," Judy commented fondly.
"Not only dodgy but fake altogether," Nick murmured, heedless of his wife
"You're the one who looks dodgy," Judy replied irritably.
Nick tore his gaze away from the goggles he was using to spy on his daughter and her luckless would-be beau.
"What are you talking about Carrots?" he asked in surprise.
"Look at yourself," Judy threw her paws up in frustration. "A grown fox spying on a pair of teenage rabbits through a pair of goggles from behind his aviator shades! If I didn't have a moral obligation to support you, being your wife, I'd wash my paws of you here and now."
Nick chewed his lip, torn between feeling sheepish and defensive.
"We don't know anything about this Timmy," he murmured finally, in way of justification.
"We know he's from Janet's class, that she's known him a while now, that they have common friends. And we know Janet which should be enough; we should trust our own daughter for cream soufflé's sake!" Judy shot off crossly.
Nick drummed his fingers on the table irritably, but he seemed unable to find a good retort.
"Can we end this now and go home, please?" Judy asked him, draining her herbal green tea and setting her cup down with a definitive clink. "We've been here for half and hour now, spying on our own child, and we have seen strictly nothing to incriminate poor Timmy, unless you count the fact that he has been a perfectly charming young animal."
"Ten more minutes," Nick said grudgingly, after a moment's hesitation. "Give me ten minutes Carrots. Then we head off."
"Deal," Judy sighed. "Yes sir, another herbal tea please," she added to the hippo waiter who had materialized at her elbow. The portly waiter nodded importantly and departed, having removed Judy's empty cup.
Nick was already glued back to his pair of looking glasses.
"Ha!" he exclaimed suddenly in triumph. "Looks like Janet's seen sense! She's ditching him!"
"She's heading to the restroom, by the looks of it," Judy said in a bored tone of voice, after shooting the smoothie bar window a quick look.
"Oh," Nick said, disappointed. He lowered his goggles quickly as Timmy, indeed alone for the moment, gazed outside from his seat. The precaution seemed unnecessary; the young rabbit Nick and Judy could see seemed to be blissfully unaware of anyone and anything in his surroundings. He looked out the window with a happy dreamy grin, apparently not taking in much of what he was seeing.
"Look, he seems to be so pleased to be out with Janet," Judy commented happily.
"He should be," Nick grumbled.
"Oh Nick, why can't you-" Judy was starting to say, when her husband suddenly cut across her, holding the goggles up for a better look once more.
"Look at that!" he whispered in a voice of angry triumph. "Soon as poor Janet's back is turned! I knew he looked nasty!"
Judy turned her head in surprise. Timmy had been jutted out of his reverie by the arrival of yet another rabbit. The newcomer was a girl roughly the same age as himself and Janet. The girl seemed to have just spotted Timmy and to be speaking to him in animation.
"Don't be silly, it's probably another friend or classmate," Judy said, rolling her eyes.
"Is it?" Nick's ears were quivering in agitation. "Take a look at that!" he added in grim jubilation a mere second later.
The parents watched on with bated breath as the newcomer first laid on a paw on Timmy's, still talking, then suddenly bent over and - yes, they saw it quite clearly - kissed Timmy, though only on the cheek.
"Explain this one away Captain Whiskers," Nick said darkly.
"Well," Judy was a bit taken aback herself but tried to rally. "Perhaps they're close friends-"
"Call a two-timer out when you see one Carrots," Nick was rubbing his paws excitedly. "And here is Janet back on the scene. Poor kid, it'll jolt her, but let's see her give the sod what he deserves. Come to think of it, let's hear it."
To Judy's surprise, Nick extracted his cell phone hurriedly and started opening some app on it.
"What in the world-" Judy was starting to say.
"Spyware to listen in that I'd installed on the cell phones we gave the kids," Nick explained quickly, as if stating the obvious. "Janet will have hers in her purse I guess - we should be able to listen in just fine."
"You what?" Judy gaped at him. "Nick you never!"
"I sure did, and I'm glad of my foresight," Nick replied haughtily, laying his phone down on the cafe table and turning the speaker on.
"Is that how you knew Jamey had skipped his afternoon algebra class?" Judy asked incredulously.
"Yup. Hush now a tick Mrs Wilde, so we can hear," Nick replied, turning the volume up.
In a second, Janet's voice came unmistakeably through the phone, a touch grainy but perfectly discernable.
"So your name is Ginny then?"
"The one and only!" the other young girl was replying with a laugh. "I assure am glad of running into you guys - Timmy goes on and on about you-"
"Shut it Gin-" the boy protested.
"Aw, Tim, what's a younger sister for if not to tease her bro?" Ginny replied with another peal of laughter.
Judy channelled her 'I told you so' perfectly with a single look thrown at her husband across the cafe table. Nick seemed quite lost for words.
"What's a big brother for then, if that's what a younger sister is for?" Janet Wilde was asking in amusement.
"Well, he definitely has his uses as far as spoiling me goes," Timmy's sister was saying. "He gave me half of what he earned with his paper round last month for my birthday treat money, you know? I owe you another kiss for that I reckon bro, here you go-"
"Oh just shove off, will you Gin," Timmy muttered, as his sister accosted him for another smooch on the cheek.
"Aw don't be like that Tim - join us for a tick, will you Ginny?" Janet's voice said over the cell phone speaker.
"I'd hate to break up your party, and I've had my fill of smoothies. But if you can stand me for fifteen minutes, fancy heading over to the cafe in front for a bit? A friend of mine was just going on and on about the parfait they make there, and I'll treat you out of Tim's present money if you like," Ginny offered.
Mister and Mrs Wilde froze, their suddenly panicked eyes on each other as their daughter's voice went 'Sounds like an offer no one could refuse' and Timmy's voice mumbled 'Fine, but leave us be after those fifteen minutes Gin, kay?'
"Don't tell me they're heading here Carrots," Nick said, pocketing his phone hurriedly.
"They sure seem to be," Judy was looking out the window. "Oh no, they're already out the smoothie place - how did they pay so fast? Nicholas Wilde, I swear this is all your-"
"We need to escape, quick," Nick was quickly laying out some cash to pay for the drinks they'd consumed. "Come on Carrots, down on all fours and out the back door!"
"Why did I marry you? Why did I ever take pity on you in that popsicle joint the day we met? Why did I think you could make a descent father?" Judy fumed, sliding off her chair and indeed getting down on all fours as it seemed the only route of escape.
"Less talking, more hustling Mrs Wilde, move it," Nick commanded, making his way towards the back door hurriedly. His way was blocked by the hippo waiter who had arrived to deliver Judy's tea refill.
"Madam will take her tea down here?" he queried, entirely unruffled to find his customers down on the floor on all fours.
"Yes, lovely, thanks!" Judy grabbed the cup and drained half of it in a gulp. She choked a bit on the hot drink. "Money is on the table - keep the tip please!"
"Very good, thank you Sir - Ma'am" the waiter replied, turning to start cleaning their abandoned table.
The hapless parents made their way to the back door as fast as they could - only to find it blocked by a couple of elephant deliverymen why had just arrived with several crates of coffee beans and tea bags. The animals were blocking the door quite efficiently, and seemed in no hurry to free the way out.
"Oh no," Nick gulped. The entire cafe was but one oblong room - if Janet and her friends chose to take a table a bit further inside, they had a huge chance of spotting Judy and Nick.
"Oh no indeed," Judy hissed. Her excellent ears had picked up Janet's clear voice over the clink of the entrance bell. "Table for three please!" Judy's eldest daughter was saying cheerfully, heedless of her parents crouching in the further end of the room she had just entered.
Judy rounded on Nick furiously.
"Nicholas Wilde," she whispered urgently. "You get us out of this scrape before we embarrass poor Janet in front of her friends or so help me-"
"Your threats do not fall on deaf ears," Nick told her fervently. "And our means of escape is providentially in front of your very eyes."
Judy looked where her husband indicated. She glanced back at him, uncomprehending. Nick gave her an encouraging thumbs up sign.
"You can't be seri-" Judy was starting to say, when a waiter's voice carried over to her with a crisp 'there are many tables available in the back of the room Miss, if you'd care to-'
Without another word, Judy turned and followed her husband's lead. Seconds later, Janet, Timmy and Ginny arrived on the scene and seated themselves at a table not three feet away. Janet had a super time, and she told all about it to her mother later that day, never suspecting how closely she had missed literally running into her parents.
Luckily, a baby hippo is quite a large animal compared to a fox and a rabbit, and a baby hippo pram is large enough that smaller animals can easily take refuge in it and be carted out of a cafe in the nick of time (pun intended).
Explaining their presence to the baby hippo's astonished mother once outside is another story, and a slightly embarrassing one in itself.
It beat explaining things to Janet though; so the two parents pronounced themselves fortunate.
All things considered.
Wow, this was too much fun to write. Can you tell? :)
Small note - Nick and Judy's children are of different specie and have been adopted one after the other after the two were married. They make excellent parents (most of the time).
Hope you enjoyed this small story, share your thoughts if you feel like it :)
Ta!