A/N: Wow, what is up with my fucked up Kakashi torturing brain? O.o
One-shot angsty Kakashi drabble which means it's very short. Yeah. No flames please.
Summery: He just pretends that the pain goes away
Warning: Angsty, unhappy story; mild language; Gaiden spoilers
Disclaimer: Don't own it
Pretending
To pretend is to make believe, to fake an action.
Kakashi has gotten very good at this little game called pretending. He pretends that he's happy, that his years of killing haven't fucked up his head, that he doesn't resent his father for destroying his innocence when he killed himself.
So as he feels his sanity slipping away with each person's chest his hand goes through, as he destroys a family with one kill, he pretends that he's doing the right thing. After all, he's the elite soldier of a powerful country. Konoha is supposed to be the good guys, right? Yes, they are, is what Kakashi tells himself to ease the guilt that clings to his soul, adding more burden to his life; burden that comes from killing countless ninja that fight for a cause, to protect the ones they love. Ninja that would otherwise be innocent if it wasn't for the forehead protectors that showed they were of opposing countries.
He fights to protect his country. Of course he does. At least that's what he tells himself. He's really just pretending to be noble, when really, he's not.
He pretends that Sasuke isn't taking after him more and more each day; he pretends that Sasuke's eyes aren't getting colder, but really, he's just lying to himself.
His pretending bites him in the ass when Sasuke leaves them for vengeance and power.
He still keeps on pretending.
He pretends that he doesn't hear the voices in his head of Obito, Rin, and Sensei. He tells himself that he's just schizophrenic; he pretends that he can't hear their voices accusing him of lying to everyone, to himself; they tell him to just be honest with himself, but really, he doesn't think he ever could be.
He ignores his own voice that whispers to him that says he should be dead, not Obito; After all, the Sharingan is rare only to a select few in the Uchiha clan. He knows that perfectly well.
But he keeps on pretending
As he slits his wrists watching the hot, crimson blood ooze down his forearms, he pretends that the pain is nothing to what he deserves. He pretends that the pain in his heart goes away. He tells himself that it's what will keep him humble. But in the end, he's just pretending.
After all, it's the only thing he can do at this point.
The End
A/N: Hm… angst is easy/fun to write.
Reviews?