Authors Note: Hi everyone! This is my first story written under my new pen-name. I have published stories previously, but I wanted a clean slate for future projects, so I won't even name my other account. Anyway, I had the idea for this story after watching terrilynn88's YT video called we belong :: merlin and morgana (modern au). I love the video, and the song called for me to right this. Constructive criticism is welcome! I'm looking for a beta, but if you just want to shoot the breeze/talk about my stories, feel free to join my Discord Server: mzkBGz8. I'm posting this chapter after just finishing it to see if there's interest in me continuing. Anyway, thanks for reading, and enjoy! - Kwil

Chapter One

Heaving in a giant lungful of air, you surge up with a gasp and look around with wide eyes, heart hammering away in your chest like someone's trying to play percussion with your insides. After blinking at your surroundings for a second, you slowly exhale, counting to four in your head before drawing in another shaky breath. Your form slumps back onto your couch as your whole body relaxes, previously tense muscles now feeling like liquid. You rub your eyes tiredly before your hand continues its journey down your face, running briefly over your beard, to finally land on your chest with a thud.

You shift your head to take in the mess that is your living room. Your small coffee table, positioned in front of the couch, holds the empty pizza box from last night and a couple of errant pieces of paper. The rest of the small room is littered with towers of books and boxes. You haul your body up into a seated position, resting your elbows on your knees as you run your hands through your hair with a slight growl as you clear your throat. You close your eyes with a sigh, your heart rate finally finding a normal rhythm again.

Nightmares.

You've suffered from them, on and off, for a very long time. Almost 1,600 years. Up until this blood-soaked vision which you've just woken from, it had been an off period which had lasted for three years. You had once thought, hoped even, that as that part of your life faded from history, it would also fade from memory. Alas, as the years turned to centuries and centuries became a millennium, they're still as lucid as the events they're based off, back when you were just becoming a man.

You hunch down further and grab your phone off the hardwood floor, your thumb gently sliding over the plastic buttons before it presses and holds the only speed-dial assigned number. As you audibly hear it start to process the call, you press the phone idly to your mouth and make a silent prayer the call is answered, before completing its transition to your ear.

After a couple of seconds of listening to the line dial and ring, you hear the gentle click as it's answered.

"Hello?" The voice is low, and old, with a slight scratch to it. You let out another heavy sigh as you hesitate, glancing about at the messy apartment around you. "Merlin…?" The voice asks as your silence drags on, "…is that you, my dear boy?"

"Gaius."

You hear a slight shuffling on the other end, before the old man speaks again, "It's been a long time."

"It has." You smile and let out a light, relieved laugh as you feel a couple of tears fall down your cheeks, "Too long, and for that, I am truly sorry."

"There's no need to apologise, Merlin." Gaius pauses, "I wouldn't want to even imagine what it feels like…all this time…"

You nod your head before remembering he can't see you, "Yeah," You mutter as you wipe your face.

"I do need to thank you. Those diaries you sent me were…invaluable. Even now, after all these years, I struggle to grasp the truth in it all…"

"Well, they were yours. I was just returning lost property."

"How did you know I would believe it?"

You let out another laugh, "I was counting on you being…well, you."

You hear a low chuckle come from your oldest friend, "Suffice to say, I am. Reading them was a very peculiar experience. It felt like I was proof reading my work…work I hadn't actually written."

You close your eyes and gently rest the phone against your ear, basking in the sounds coming from the other end of the line.

"If you wouldn't mind…" You hear his voice trail off uncertainly.

"If I wouldn't mind what?" You ask, frowning slightly.

"I'd like to see you. I know, with everything you've been through, it wouldn't be easy for you, so I understand if you can't do it…but all I've got are these entries and silly interpretations of what you could look like, from artists that have no clue…"

"Of course."

You hear a puff of air being expelled, "…Really?"

You nod your head to yourself, "Yeah. I…errr…" You pause, trying to form thoughts into words, "…I need to see you, too." You finally settle on saying.

"Where are you?"

"Carmarthen," You reply with a slight smile.

You hear the line go silent, before you hear him whisper "Merlin's Fort," He then clears his throat and says, "I should have guessed, really. I live in-"

"-Colchester," You interrupt, "I've known you were there since before you could talk, Gaius. The others have all turned up in different places, but not you." You smile again, "Camelot will always be your home."

It feels like you can visibly see him falter, and you can just imagine 'the eyebrow' rising to try and meet his hairline.

"This was Camelot?" He asks softly.

"Once upon a time."

"When was the last time you were here?"

"I haven't been back since they took down the Citadel…after that, it just…didn't feel like home anymore."

"I didn't realise it had been so long. So, it's me coming to you, then?"

"If you don't mind. Otherwise, I can take a few days off work and come across…just as long as we're not actually in Camelot…just outside of it, maybe?"

"Nonsense, my dear boy. I won't have you taking time off work to come and see me, when I'm cooped up here, not doing anything. Besides, like you said, I've always been here. It will be nice to get away for a bit, especially out and about in Wales. Some fresh air might do these old lungs some good."

"If you're sure…" You tell him, scratching your beard idly, "…come over whenever you feel up to it. As you know, I like to hide in plain sight. I have a bookshop on Merlin's Walk, a shopping centre right next to the bus station."

"I'll be on my way, as soon as I can arrange travel."

"Okay, sound's good." You reply, feeling the conversation ending, "I…it might sound weird, and I'm sorry if it does, but I just have to say…it's good to hear your voice again."

"I understand," came Gaius' reply, "For me, it's good to finally be able to put a voice to the name."