Today. 5 July 2013
Dear Oniichan,
This is some kind of diary of mine that contains some stuffs I wanna tell you. Although, I know I could tell it directly to you but this is how I felt like it. As I write this, I am currently thinking about the stuffs that we've been through together... Chatting and messaging each other, what else?
Oniichan, I don't know if you know this but you could be insensitive sometimes! I mean, I want you to call on me, comfort me and talk to me! It's not like you don't but yes, you comfort me all the time yet I have this feeling that something is missing...
This day was great! I just passed by something I shouldn't let others know but it's nothing controversial. Still, I haven't talked to you today so I felt kinda empty at the same time...
Oniichan, don't you notice my sudden silence of you? Don't you think your otouto is depressed or something? Can you really go on a day without talking to him? I'm trying to make you miss me, can't you see..? I know I'm nothing in your life, but you're something in mine... Is it okay for you to let go of me? It can't be avoided that we will divert ways someday but is it okay for you if that is to happen now? Today? Right this second?
Sorry for being overly-dramatic but this is how I want to be. It's not like you'll be reading this or anything so I'm okay to express everything.
Well, my head feels like it's gonna blow... My eyes are slowly releasing droplets of tears too... But that's okay. I can handle myself. I've become strong... thanks to you.
I'll be writing again soon. I hope whatever you are doing will turn out great... oniichan.
-Love, Your Selfish Otouto