June 2020

"Hey Mari, if you had the chance to live your life over again would you?" I turned around as I heard my friend Woojin ask me this seemingly random question, as we had never once discussed this before. He stood there looking pensive with a small small on his face. "No, I wouldn't since Im already living it." He looked at me confusion written all over his face, and I laughed as I turned around and continued down the hallway. I could hear him say to himself "Huh, what does she mean, I was only joking…." I smiled again and rounded the corner ready to deliver Hyungsik and Minho their coffees. Poor Woojin would never know how close to the truth that question was to me. No one would know that I, Mari Byrd, had already lived and died in one life and was living it again by some miracle, following all my dreams that I had thrown away in the previous one.

May 2019

"Yes! We did it! We finally fucking graduated!" I shouted as my class and I threw up our caps. We were the graduating class of 2019 from a small catholic college in Pa, and the ceremony we finally over. My two best friends Sara and Kassie were with me, but they were both crying as our time together was coming to an end. "No, stop it I don't want this to be over!" Kassie cried to me and Sara, "This has been the best time of my life, I don't want it to end." she continued, Sara and I agreed as we had blossomed into the best of friends over these last four years and our friendship was the best thing to happen to us. "I know Kass, but think now we can make money and spend time with our families instead of going to class and doing hw." "Yeah, Sara's right our lives are just starting we will have plenty of chances to hang out and we will be in each others weddings and our kids will be friends so there is no reason to cry, like we will never see each other again!" I exclaimed not knowing that it would indeed be the last time I would see them.

After grabbing our fallen caps we each left to find our families and in their case as well, boyfriends, as I was the only one to have never dated in my time as a college student, or really ever in my life. After finishing our goodbyes and confirming our plans to see each other later in the summer, we ran off in opposite directions. I found my family sitting in the fara back as it was a large group of people. My whole extended family of aunts, uncles, cousins, and neighbors came. I walked up to my mom and received a large hug, "Im proud of you Sweets, I knew you could do it." She said as she squeezed me, I turned to my grandparents and they too told me how proud they were of their first grandbaby graduating college. "You ready for the next step M? My grandfather asked as we walked to the cars parked a little ways away. "Yes and No, I'm ready for my life to begin, but I don't know what to do next." I replied, "Well, you have all summer to relax and think about what to do, haha, where do you want to go for lunch?" "Hmm, how about…" I wasn't able to finish as a loud horn blared close by, a truck ran the stop sign and drove right into the passenger side of our car. Where I was sitting.

Across the Globe March 2019

Unbeknownst to Mari she became tied to the lives of seven influential men halfway across the globe. For a few months before her death there was someone who struggled with the pressure of his life. Kim Seojoon, aka, the lead artist in the hit K Pop band BBB. The band's newest album was set to be released in a few days but he felt that it wasn't up to par, and that he parts he contributed were less than stellar compared to his other bandmates. He knew that it was probably just his insecurities taking hold and that the album was as amazing as their previous ones and something to be extremely proud of, but something just felt off in his heart. His life was great, friends that meant the world to him, family that supported him, fans that kept him afloat, but it just didn't seem to add up, there was something that nagged him and made him feel inadequate. He knew that what he was thinking was cowardly and would destroy the lives of his closest friends but he couldn't help but wonder if it was worth it anyways. To be free from the pressure, the pain, the feeling of dread inside. It wasn't fair of him, he knew, but the thought of peace, of the acceptance of the freedom he would get was powerful, the pull to finally sleep was to great.

The world was shocked by the death of one of its youngest most successful artists in recent years. South Korea was especially reeling from the loss of one of its most important singers. The K Pop group BTS went dormant to mourn the loss of its leader, and two weeks after his death the band boarded a plane for Seoul after visiting his extended family. It was to be a short flight, but unfortunately tragedy struck twice and the small jet crashed from an engine malfunction, taking the lives of everyone on board. The world of Kpop would never be the same and neither would Mari, as she was a huge fan of theirs.

February 2007

I died that day, I know I did. Because after hearing that horn and closing my eyes in fear I opened them to a ceiling. My ceiling, my ten year old body's ceiling of white popcorn and a broken ceiling fan light. I had broken that light a few days ago and it had yet to be replaced. I head my mom yell from the downstairs, "Mari, Rene, Eddie, let's go! You're going to be late!" I couldn't believe it, was it all a dream, or did i really die and go back in time twelve years beforehand? I slowly got out of bed,, found my school uniform and got changed. It was the same, horrible palid that I hated with the same leg circulation cut offing socks and little shiny shoes as before. That hadn't changed, neither had my mom with all her hurried yelling, nor my siblings with their late sleeping. I tried to think of everything that had happened in my dream or previous life. I had lived to graduate college with a bachelors in history, I was overweight with no boyfriend and had only two friends. I didn't speak to anyone from my hometown, except a Korean transfer who came my senior year of high school. I was unsure of my future, but I was excited for it. I sat back down on my bed and cried. I cried for my friends, for my life, for my future. I was scared, alone, and a little girl again. I cried until my mother came upstairs, pissed off at her children and barged into my room, yelling "Mari! Come on! Its already 8 am! Let's go! Wha...What's wrong sweets? Why are you crying? Are you hurt, do you feel sick?" I nodded, not knowing what to say anymore. I knew I wouldn't be allowed to stay home unless I was really sick, but I didn't know how to face the world at the moment. I think my mom realized that something was wrong and took pity on me, as she said. "Well, you don't have a fever or look like you threw up, but you look white. Did you fall? Did you have a bad dream?" I nodded again and said "Mom it was the worst dream of my life, I think I'm going to be sick." Normally, she'd just take me to school but today was different. "How about this, I'll let you stay home for a few hours and Mimi can take you to school at lunch time?" I knew this would be the best I could get from her so I agreed and watched as she lead my siblings to school just down the street and went to work herself.