Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter.
Written for The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition as Chase 2 for the Falmouth Falcons. I've never written this pairing before, never even been tempted to (I'm normally a Remus/Sirius shipper) but something just made me want to write it. :)
Enjoy! :)
She came to him in a game of chess. He had been playing Sirius, who hated to lose so much that the moment he knew he was on the losing end he always turned over the game board and stood up to announce that he needed a drink. Remus never had the heart to deny him a game, but he never lost to him on purpose either.
It was after one of these tragedy-stricken games that she approached him, all smirks and green eyes and wit. Remus liked wit. James, Sirius, and Peter were great, his best friends, but they had about as much real wit as warthogs. And not particularly intelligent warthogs.
"I've never played before," she said, her cheeks dimpling as she smiled wide.
"I can teach you how to win," he replied, his heart beating fast, his heart and his head at war.
"I don't want to know how to win," Lily said. "I just want to know how to have fun."
And Remus struggled to smile and said, "I can try."
It was nearly midnight when she knocked on his door. She'd been crying. He could see it, not only in her red-rimmed eyes and sniffles, but the way she held herself. Lily Evans always clutched her arms and shook when she had been crying.
He let her in. He told himself it was because his neighborhood was dangerous, that he was only looking out for her. He told himself that it was platonic, that he only saw her as his best mate's girlfriend.
Remus was very good at lying to himself.
"Come in," he said hoarsely, his voice still recovering from a recent moon. Only Padfoot had shown up; the others had been too busy with the Order.
She shuffled in, head bowed, and Remus was suddenly aware that she had never been to his flat before. Fresh shame washed over him as she took in his tiny, shabby apartment with its peeling walls and broken furniture.
"You can sit here," he said quietly, showing her to the armchair, which, while old and not its original color, was comfortable. She sank into it and proceeded to stare at Remus's dress shoes, which were lying haphazardly around the sagging sofa. They were a graduation gift from his parents, a poorly disguised way of telling Remus to get a job and get out. He couldn't blame them; his dad had lost his Ministry job after Remus had been bitten and they'd lived in near poverty ever since.
"I'll make tea," he said, and she nodded slowly, her hair falling over her face. He bustled around in the kitchen, glad for the excuse to not talk to her. What was she doing here? Why had she come to him, of all people?
He turned to make toward the door, a chipped serving tray in his hands, and say her in the doorway. Her green eyes were no longer looking down; they were meeting his. They were filled with steel.
"Dance with me," she said.
Remus wanted to say no, but his throat was dry and all he could do was gasp and stare.
She walked back into the living room and Remus trailed after her, still clutching the tea, wondering what to do. James loved her. He loved everything James loved, but only in the way James wanted him to. That's how it was supposed to be.
But that wasn't how it was.
She found his record player and set the needle, not checking to see what it was. She didn't care.
"Put the tea down," she said.
She was still meeting his eyes. What choice did he have? He set the tea tray on his end table.
The music started, and she pulled him into the kitchen. He put his hand on her waist and listened as Cat Stevens began strumming. They danced slower than the song because that was what she wanted. His hand on her shoulder brushed her cheek, and he realized she was crying.
"Oh, Lily," he murmured. He hadn't meant to.
That's when she leaned up and kissed him, but he never blamed her for it, because he kissed her back. When they separated, he saw her, for one glorious moment, as a lover. She was beautiful and kind and she was smiling at him like no one had smiled at him before, eyes bright, cheeks flushed. Then, as quickly as it had come, it was gone.
"We're getting married in the autumn," she whispered.
He pressed her close and breathed in the smell of her hair before saying, because he knew she wanted him to, "Please tell me you're not serious. Please."
"It's going to be wonderful, Remus, it is," she said.
"I believe you," he whispered, pulling away at last.
She took a deep breath and walked back into the living room, making to stop the record.
"No, don't," he found himself saying. "I like this song."
She smiled a very small smile and sat back in the armchair.
"Tea?" he asked.
The tea had cooled; she sipped at it and pretended it was good.
"I'm sorry, Remus," she said, and she sounded like Lily Evans again, like a sure, confident, beautiful woman who was engaged to James Potter and didn't regret it. "I had to know. I had to make sure."
"And?" he asked.
"I think I could have loved you," she answered honestly. "But I don't. I love James."
"Good," he said, because friends came first in his world. "Goodnight, Lily."
She had the grace to finish her tea before she left.
James Potter married Lily Evans in autumn that year. Sirius was their best man; Remus and Peter sat with the guests. They didn't mind. As always, they were happy to be included. When Remus watched Lily walk down the isle, he felt a cocktail of emotions; jealousy, yes, but also love, happiness, and hope that this war might end in something other than tragedy.
He looked down at his scuffed dress shoes and smiled.
"But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover,
And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer.
But autumn came, she disappeared,
You can't remember where she said she was going to."
- Perfect Sonnet, Bright Eyes
This was the snippet of a song I had to use for inspiration. Funnily enough, it fit right into the timeline of James and Lily's wedding.
My prompts were shoes, how to win, and the dialogue "Please tell me you're not serious. Please." Reviews are love! :)