Should Have Known Better

by dave-d

Jindai Municipal High School. Game Night. A large number of students, including Sousuke and Kaname. What could possibly go wrong? What game did they play?

I enjoy writing for the sake of writing. It's fun to give ideas a work out, and to torture beloved characters. If no one reads this story in the present day, then it can be left lonesome and alone for as long as FanFiction still exists, sort of like a Time Capsule waiting to be opened by some future generation.

The usual warning: this started out as short story idea. Just the way some lengthy wars started out as just a skirmish or two. I know that Eisenhower said that' what counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight… it's the size of the fight in the dog' and Sun Tzu said 'what is essential in war is victory, not prolonged operations.' Sorry. I'm no Dwight D. or General Tzu.

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There is a quote often attributed to Albert Einstein… and sometimes Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin, and author Rita Mae Brown… that goes 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Kaname could learn something from that. In the legal sense, insanity is a legal term pertaining to a defendant's ability to determine right or wrong when a crime is committed. For Sousuke, the line is sometimes blurred.

Karl Rudolf Gerd von Rundstedt was a Generalfeldmarschall of the German Army during World War II. He also had two sayings that relate to this story. The first was 'We should have known better after the first war.' The second was 'It is a pity that this faithful youth is sacrificed in a hopeless situation.'

Finally, to continue the train of thought and to pay heed to the story title, there is a proverb of the Bambara people of Mali that says 'No matter how much the world changes, cats will never lay eggs.

*The people of Mali obviously do not read 'Captain Marvel' comics*

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The young man from the Photography Club, Kazuo Miyagawa , short, chubby, and with a modern day mullet, wanted to win points from student council vice president Kaname Chidori, so that his club could get their clubroom back. It had been given to the Flower Arranging Club.

There must be something that he could do to show her the usefulness of his hobby. Yes. That was it. He would do an artful recording of some important affair… arrange it in immaculate and exciting fashion… and present it to her as a keepsake.

He was training to become a videographer. A videographer, not a cinematographer. He would only use digital hard-drive, flash cards or tape drive video cameras, and not 70mm IMAX, 35mm, 16mm, or Super 8mm mechanical film cameras. He did filming without film. He told girls that, but they never seemed impressed. When he really wanted to impress a young lady, he would get even bolder, and say that he was' taping without tape.' But, despite his witty repartee… his large variety of video camera equipment sound recording devices… his unequalled talent at editing footage… and his burning zeal to stay up to date with technological advances… no one at Jindai High School had proven savvy enough to realize his value as a love interest.

Now, this was not the school at 1 Chome-46-1 Wakabacho, Chofu, Tokyo that was founded in 1940. It certainly took architectural cues from that edifice, but was present in the light novels, manga, and anime realm, not the real world. But what is the real world? The school familiar to anime fans certainly seemed real to Kaname Chidori, Sousuke Sagara, and their group of high school comrades.

As we speak, those teenagers were presently making use of a clubroom that was up for grabs, one that had been vacated by the Tea Ceremony Club after someone had discovered that it had essentially become the Kratom Ceremony Club. Kratom is a tropical tree native to Southeast Asia, with leaves that contain compounds that can have psychotropic effects. Most people take kratom as a pill, capsule, or extract. Some people chew kratom leaves or smoke them. And then there were Jindai students who brew the dried or powdered leaves as a tea. Naturally, that was a rather big no-no.

"Welcome back to game night," Kaname said to the gathering. Aside from the hovering Sousuke, who kept a lookout for all things suspicious and possibly dangerous, the others were all on her tally sheet. She called out the names: "Kyouko Tokiwa…Onodera Kotaro… Tsubaki Issei… Atsunobu Hayashimizu… Ren Mikihara… Mizuki Inaba… Shinji Kazama… Maya Murai… Ryo Shirogane… Mayuko Uchida… Shiori Kudou… Ena Saeki… Tomomi Isomura… Rieko Higashino… Miki Kodama… Manami Shimomura… Keiko Yamane… Yoko Matsuma… Michiru Erikawa." They were all there.

"Tonights MC is…." Kaname ran her finger down the list of students and found the date. She read the name there. "Ryo. It's your night to choose."

Kazuo Miyagawa swung up his video recorder, trying to seem inconspicuous. He wanted to capture this important moment, the instant the girl-of-the-day made her choice. But, he needed to seem inconspicuous, so he would capture everyone's true reactions.

"I came prepared," Ryo said, beaming. She held a small brick-red box. The cover depicted a cartoon cat, with a rather panicked look on his or her face. The game name was 'Exploding Kittens'.

"Wonderful!" Maya clapped her hands. "I've always wanted to play that."

"Let me see," Sousuke said. He was not about to let any box enter Kaname's presence, uninspected. "The box is professionally labelled…." He read from the box cover. "A card game for people who are into kittens and explosions…."

"Give me that, Sousuke." Kaname snatched the box, a little more forceful than she needed to be. "You're the last one who needs to talk abode things exploding!" She held the box out to Ren. She could be trusted to read further, without undergoing some incredible otaku transformation. Sousuke was worse than a Magical Girl sometimes.

"Thank you," Ren said politely. "For people who are into kittens and explosions and laser beams…." She squinted. "Could you read this for me-" She handed the box to Atsunobu Hayashimizu

Atsunobu gently took the box and pushed his glasses up his nose. With those on, his vision was better than 20/20. "The final line says 'And sometimes goats'." He glanced at a lower corner of the box. "Ages seven plus. Two through five players. Two minutes to learn. Fifteen minutes to play-"

"And less than one minute to blow up," Shinj said with a quick laugh. That had Sousuke looking quizzical, but Kaname turning red. Sure enough, she was ready to explode.

Kazuo zoomed in. The tension was wonderful. These were the moments when the world became alive for him.

"Could you read what's on the back, too" Maya asked, seeing pictures on the back of the box.

"Certainly," Atsunobu said. "According to CNN, the game is like UNO, except there are goats, magical enchiladas, and kittens that can kill you."

"Sounds like Lima, Peru," Sousuke remarked, eyes half closed. He was remembering a past mission. He relaxed some. There was no big deal here. No reason to be concerned. He had dealt with revolutionaries who hid claymore mines under the coats of shaggy goats and kittens that had been fed deadly nanobots. His opponent had been the Túpac Amaru Revolutionary Movement, a Peruvian Marxist guerrilla group led by Víctor Polay Campos. The SRT resolved the kidnapping incident at the Japanese embassy in record time.

No one laughed. They all guessed that Sousuke was being serious, not making a joke.

Kaname didn't know that Sousuke was powering down. She feared the opposite. She reached to take the box before Atsunobu could read any further. She accidentally knocked it from his hand

Tsubaki, wanting to be helpful to Kaname, whom he stilled had a crush on, picked up the box, glad to do the hard work of reading for her. "The game is a highly-strategic, kitty-powered version of Russian roulette. Players draw cards until someone draws an Exploding Kitten, at which point they explode, are dead, and they are out of the game… unless that player has a Defuse card, which can defuse the kitten by using things like laser pointers, belly rubs, and catnip sandwiches. All the other cards in the deck are used to move, mitigate, or avoid the exploding kittens." He thought that he had solved Kaname's woes. He was so wrong.

Sousuke paid little attention after the words Russian Roulette. He grabbed the game, almost starting another tussle with Tsubkai. "I will dispose of this device," he said. "Russian roulette may be played like a game, but it is not appropriate for teenagers."

"It's really not-"Ryo wanted to defuse the situation. Everyone there dreaded the Exploding Sousuke card.

"Listen, Sousuke-"Kaname's hand twitched. She felt naked without her halisen.

"Russian roulette is a lethal game of chance in which a player places a single round in a revolver, spins the cylinder, places the muzzle against his or her head," Souske said. "-And pulls the trigger."

"Wow!" Shinji smiled. He already knew what Russian Roulette referred to. There was a game 'Super Russian Roulette' released for the Nintendo Entertainment System. The game involves pointing the Zapper light-gun accessory at the players own head, facing off against a computer-generated cowboy and up to three human players. He always thought that it was amazing to watch Sousuke go otaku. In his eyes, it was as if Clark Kent pulled open his shirt and there was a big 'O' there instead of an 'S'.

"It is not wow," Sousuke said. He'd seen too many depressed or despondent mercenaries play that game. "Russian refers to the supposed country of origin."

"Here he goes," Mayuko said.

"The term Russian roulette was possibly first used in a 1937 short story of the same name by Georges Surdez." Sousuke did not need to access Wikipedia. It was something with a military connection. That meant that it was engraved somewhere in his brain. "However, the story describes using a gun with one empty chamber out of six, instead of five empty chambers out of six"

"There's no stopping him," Shiori stated.

"The passage in the story went something like this: 'Did you ever hear of Russian Roulette? With the Russian army in Romania, around 1917... some officer would suddenly pull out his revolver, anywhere, at the table, remove a cartridge from the cylinder, spin the cylinder, snap it back in place, put it to his head and pull the trigger. There were five chances to one that the hammer would set off a live cartridge and blow his brains all over the place'."

"We're doomed," Tomomi said.

"C-C-Coooo-ooo-oo-ol…." Shinji's eyes practically glowed.

"Roulette refers to the element of risk-taking and the spinning of the revolver's cylinder, which is reminiscent of a spinning roulette wheel," Sousuke continues, stuck in his grove like the stylus of a record player sliding along an LP's groove. "You all must be curious about the probability involved…."

"No," Miki said.

"Me neither," Yoko added

Sousuke-" Kaname

"Go… go… go…." Shinji hugged himself.

Kazuo felt an electric thrill go through him. He had happened upon the motherlode. This wasn't going to given to Kaname Chidori… this was going to YouTube! In a moment of panic, he had the horrid thought: 'what if my batteries go dead in the middle of this?' He sighed, the battery life was close to full. He charged every morning.

"The number of pulls of the trigger before a round is expected to discharge is 3.5, without spinning between the pulls. That changes to 6, with spinning between the pulls." Sousuke held his finger up, as if he were a teacher about to make a crucial point. "You can appreciate the danger. But, for future reference, you should not ever think it is safe to play with blanks. On October 12, 1984, while waiting for filming to resume, actor Jon-Erik Hexum played Russian roulette with a .44 Magnum revolver loaded with a blank. The blast fractured his skull and caused massive cerebral hemorrhaging when bone fragments were forced through his brain. He was rushed to Beverly Hills Medical Center, where he was pronounced brain dead."

"Somebody shoot me!" Keiko blurted out.

"You shouldn't ever say that!" Manami said. She meant specifically 'you should never ever ever say that around Sousuke.'

"I'll stop him-" Tsubaki said, trying to act tough. Before he jumped into action, the sound of a gunshot echoed through the room. He'd never even seen Sousuke pull the gun. The rubber bullet hit him where a man should never ever ever be hit. He was done in this story for a while.

"Soussssssuke Sssssssagara!" Kaname sounded like a hornet's nest after being beat by a bamboo bough.

"And it is never wise to play with a weapon you believe to be empty," Sousuke said. He spun the pistol around his finger, and then took out the clip. It looked empty. With a quick motion he ejected a round that had been in the chamber. "Gun safety is as important as breathing. If things had gone differently in the past, I would not be here today," he continued. "When I was a small child, I saw my elders play the game. Later, when everyone else was asleep, I crept around the tent and picked up a fighter's M1895 revolver…"

Everyone else stayed quiet. They were spellbound and almost frightened, even though the story was about an event that had long since passed. Kaname was quiet, but her anger still bubbled like the water in a teapot a few moments short of whistling.

"That type of pistol was used extensively by the Russian Imperial Army and later by the Soviet Union after the Russian Revolution. In Russian service, it was known for its extreme sturdiness and ability to withstand abuse. As one former Imperial Russian officer stated, 'if anything went wrong with the M1895, you could fix it with a hammer'." Sousuke spoke with a happy cadence, glad that the odds had favored him that day. "The type of gun… which I picked up… had been widely employed by the Bolshevik secret police, the Cheka, as well as its Soviet successor agencies, the OGPU and NKVD. I spun the cylinder on that pistol… the same type of revolver used by communist revolutionaries to execute the Russian imperial family and their servants in July 1918. I would be remiss not to mention that in the police role, it was frequently seen with a cut-down barrel to aid in concealment by plainclothes agents. Despite the advent of the more modern Soviet TT pistol, the M1895 remained in production and use. I did not know that, the day I put the gun to my head and-"

"IT'S JUST AN ANALOGY."

Kaname snacked Sosuke over the head multiple times with an umbrella that Kyoko had handed her. It was less in anger over the verbosity of the boy, as it was a reaction of fear and dread over an event that had happened more than a decade ago. No. It was the verbosity and an overdose of otaku. "Thanks, Ky." She turned to Sousuke. "Russian Roulette was just an analogy. And it's just a game! Cards. Just illustrated cards. Nothing really explodes. We won't put guns to our heads. You're the only one with a gun here." The way she said that made it clear that there shouldn't be any guns here. She clenched her teeth, closed her eyes tight, and let out a long tortured breath.

Everyone watched, stunned. Not as stunned as they might have been, had they never witnessed Kaname-Sousuke mini-plays before. Just how tormented a soul was Sousuke? Just how much did Kaname disdain him, and how much might she truly care about him?

"And we don't need another 'Blow-Up-The-Love-Letter' kind of episode, do we?" Kaname challenged all of her friends with her glare. This kind of leading-question helped her get rid of the lump in her throat. On the flip side, it made Ena feel a nostalgic sense of sadness.

"No!" said. "Definitely not!" "Hell No!" "Never again!"

"Negative," Sousuke said, feeling foolish and ignorant again. Was it the rare sharing of his past life that brought the reaction, or simply his inability to rattle on about the few things he knew, and could share with others his age?

"Good. Everyone here is responsible for keeping the humanoid typhoon here under control," Kaname used that term, forgetting where she had heard it.

After being chastised, and after seeing the reactions of the other students, Sousuke decided that he would stay silent for a while, observing everything about the game, and how it made people playing it feel. He would synthesize his observations into a mission plan to win back the good opinions of those around him.

"I can die happy now," Shinji said, grinning. Kaname's attack on Sousuke had been so sudden and so brutal that he almost peed himself. What had he himself had ever done in his life? His friend had lived through so much.

Kazuo whispered "This is gold…." He began considering what style he would later arrange his filming. Perhaps 'Video Journalistic style' would be best. The segments could be edited in a way to preserve continuity. That style of editing would produce a polished documentation of the day as it unfolds. Or, he could use 'Cinemating Filming and Editting', to give things a 'filmy' look. That style would increase the emotional impact through use of slow motion and transition effects, saturated colors, creative camera angles and dramatic music; it has that 'wow' factor to tell a story in a unique way. And so far, things were very 'wow' and very unique. Lastly, he might consider a 'Concept Video', the most artistic and elaborated type. He couldn't script anything here today; but, afterwards he take interviews with and candid photos of the people involved.

As Ryo opened the game and took out the playing cards, Sousuke decided to do his best to be silent, interjecting as little and as infrequently as possible. He needed to learn the game if he was actually going to partake. He could learn a lot about his classmates, and about people his own age in general, if he was observant. And, most important of all, he could try and make Kaname happy. He had long since grown from being robotically concerned for her bodily health, to caring about her happiness.

"Alright everyone, gather round. I'm going to teach this once and only once," Ryo said. "Basically we have a deck of cards here. There are up to four Exploding Kittens, depending on the number of players. The deck of cards is placed face down, and the players take turns drawing cards until someone draws an Exploding Kitten." She, and practically everyone else looked at Sousuke. Oddly, he said nothing.

"Are they strapped with bombs or something," Shinji asked with an agenda. He hoped to see more Sousuke antics. Everyone did their best to ignore him.

"When that happens," Ryo continued, "That person explodes… is dead… and is out of the game. The process continues until there is only one person left, who wins the game."

"That seems too simple," Mizuki said. "Almost too simple to be fun." She frowned.

"That's why there are different types of cards," Ryo remarked, giving the other girl the Evil Eye. "I'll get to that later. First, Set Up. I will remove all of the Exploding Kitten and Defuse cards from the deck. Here." She handed the deck to Maya.

"What am I supposed to do?" Maya asked.

"First, let's pick the first five to play. Hands up." Ryo looked around the room. "Let's see… Ren… me… Ono D… Atsunobu… and Maya." Those people stepped over to the large folding table. "Okay… Maya… shuffle the deck and deal four cards face down to each player.

Maya did as she was instructed.

"Next, give each player a Defuse card. And everyone… keep your cards secret…" Ryo continued.

"No standing behind me Shinji," Ono D shook a fist at the other boy. I don't want you giving anyone signals, or my cards reflecting off of your glasses or something."

Sousuke looked at Ono D and the way the girls in the room reacted to him. That had been a tame statement, with only a slight level of suspicion and paranoia. The girls seemed a touch annoyed.

"Defuse cards are the ones that can save you from exploding," Ren told everyone. She nodded her head when Ryo said she'd go over things in more detail later.

"Next, you have to insert Exploding Kittens into the deck, one less than the number of players," Ryo said.

"That would be four," Shinji said. "You know… 1… 2… 3… 4…" Chaos breeds Chaos. If he can cause an uproar, maybe Sousuke would step in to protect him. A quiet Sousuke was not very fun. It was either brave or foolhardy to risk the wrath of that many girls. One day he might want a date to a dance. No. never mind. It's Shinji we are talking about.

"I can count," Maya said with a sour drawl. "Here's the extra Kitten." She handed the card to Ryo. "What do I do with the left over Defuse cards?" Instructed, she added those to the deck. She then shuffled the deck and put it at the center of the table, as the Draw Pile. "Alright," she said when Ryo told her to leave space for a Discard Pile.

"Kaname," Ryo said, acknowledging Kaname's place on the Student Council and chosen role as Game Night Supervisor. "Pick a player to go first."

"Go first…." Kaname flipped her hair. "Or go home…." She gave Sousuke a glare. She was still a little hot under the collar. "Wellll-lll-ll-l… Ono D." She didn't name him because they had once dated. He simply looked the most eager.

"Okay Ono D," Ryo said. "This is how you take a turn. "Play a card from you hand face up on the Discard Pile, and follow the instructions on the card. Or, you can choose not to play a card; that's cool, too."

"How-"Ono D looked at the cards. He was confused. Ryo hadn't given enough instruction yet.

"We'll get there," Ryo said. "Oh…I guess I should mention the cards with no instructions before we go any further. Some cards don't have instructions. These cards are collected and played as pairs. If you play such a pair, you can pick another player and steal a random card from their hand."

"I know who Kaname would like to steal a card from," Mizuki said, glancing over at Sousuke. She grinned a Cheshire grin when Kaname frowned and clenched her fists. She still hadn't forgiven either one of them for the whole Shirai affair. Her agenda was different bthan Shinji's, but was an agenda just the same.

"Or have steal her heart," Ena quipped, feeling the sting of jealousy. That had everyone laughing and Kaname turning red in the face. She was so easy to tease. Looking at Sousuke, the other students were surprised that he didn't come to Kaname's defense. He simply looked clueless, like a puppy or a little lost lamb.

"Alright. Back to instructions," Ryo said. "After you follow the instructions on your card… or you play a pair… you can play another card… in fact, you can play as many cards as you like. Finally, you end your turn by drawing a card from the top of the deck and put it in your hand… hoping it is not an Exploding Kitten! By the way, you have to immediately show everyone the Kitten when you draw it." She added "There is no maximum or minimum hand size. If you run out, that's fine. You'll get another card next turn. You're allowed to count the number of cards in the Draw Pile if you wish. You will never run out of cards in the Draw Pile, so there will never be reason to reshuffle…unless someone plays a Shuffle Card."

"Now I will explain the card types," Ryo said. "This is a Defuse card." She held up a card. At the bottom it read 'Defuse'. At the top it read 'Defuse' and directly under that had 'Via laser pointer." The card depicted a cat chasing after a red point of light. The cards instructions read 'Put your last draw card back in the deck.'

When Sousuke heard 'Defuse,' he thought about his Mithril training, where possible dangers had been broken down into specific types of ordnance. In the Demolition Division he learned how to set up various explosive firing trains. In the Tools & Methods Division, he was taught about the various tools and methods of Explosive Ordinance Disposal work. In the Core Division, he was shown the basic fundamentals of EOD work. In the Ground Ordnance Division, his training focused on projected munitions and grenades, just as in the Air Ordnance Division he focused on bombs and missiles and in the Improvised Explosive Device Division he paid special attention to homemade bombs. He also received training on various biological and chemical agents from soldiers of the U.S. Chemical Corps; was taught basic nuclear physics and radiation monitoring and decontamination procedures by U.S. Army; and was taught how to work on torpedoes and other underwater explosives… as well as underwater search techniques… by the U.S. Navy. Wisely, he didn't mention any of that to the other students.

Kaname made a face, looking at Sousuke. She began counting under her breath. Naturally, he would have to say something about defusing a bomb or defusing some dangerous situation. But, he didn't. As it was, she wasn't the only person looking over at Jindai's most unpredictable student.

"Here's another one," Ryo said. "I showed a picture of a pig-tailed girl wrapped in dynamite, with a cup of milk spilling on a lit fuse. The card read 'Defuse with a warm bowl of milk.'

Again, Sousuke had no comment on the dynamite, the hazard arrangement, or the use of cow's milk as a means of putting out a fuse.

"So that's what a Defuse card does," Shinji said impishly. "Is it like defusing an IED… an improvised explosive device… you know, a bomb constructed and deployed in ways other than in conventional military action… maybe constructed of conventional military explosives, such as an artillery shell, attached to a detonating mechanism." When no one said anything and Sousuke remained mute, he added "IEDs are commonly used as roadside bombs… are generally seen in heavy terrorist actions or in asymmetric unconventional warfare by insurgent guerrillas or commando forces. They were responsible for approximately 63% of coalition deaths in Iraq…." He waited for Sousuke to challenge his number. It must have been up-to-date. Damn. "In Afghanistan, used by insurgent groups, they have caused over 66% of coalition casualties." That Afghanistan reference ought to do the trick.

"We don't need another Sousuke,"Maya said. That had everyone agreeing. The only soldier in the room saw things from a different perspective, wondering if everything military was anathema to people who only knew peace.

Kaname smiled and nodded her head, at first. But, she then looked over at Sousuke. Did he think everyone was ganging up on him? Would he care if they were? What would it take to hurt his feelings, after all that he had done and had done in return?

"If you draw an Exploding Kitten, you can use a Defuse card instead of dying, and then place it in the Discard pile after stashing the Kitten back in the deck… secretly… anywhere you like."

"Oooh," Ono D said, thinking of something. "You could really screw the person playing after you, if you put the Kitten on top." He rubbed his hands together. "Strategy… I like it…."

"How about that-"Shiori pointed to a card that had been turned over when Ryo was looking for examples of Defuse cards. "It says Nope."

"That's a Nope card," Ryo said. "This one says 'Nope. A jackalope bounds into the room. Stop the action of another player'"

"Can it stop a Defuse card or an Exploding Kitten?" Kaname liked the idea of strategy. But, under pain of death, she would not admit that to Sousuke. As for that military maniac, she had a figurative school bag of Nope cards that she had to throw on him day after day. She had an infinite number ready for this game night, certain that he would go off the deep end sooner or later.

"Nope," Ryo said in jest. No one even chuckled. Tough crowd! "You can even play a Nope card on a Nope card…"

"That means that you can play a Nope card at any time?" That was Sousuke. "Even when it's not your turn?" He stared at another Nope card that was being shown around. The drawing on it looked like a super-advanced model A.S. Th pilot standing next to it had long blonde hair. His or her face was indistinct.

"Yes," Ryo said. "That's very astute of you Sousuke." Now it was time for the rubber to hit the road. "The Explode card…." No one said anything. Again, everyone looked at Sousuke. Sousuke merely looked at the card Ryo held up. It read 'Attack. Deploy the thousand-year back hair,' depicting the hair of a very hairy man's back streaking towards a running and screaming woman. The instruction was 'End your turn without drawing a card. Force the next player to take two turns'.

"That would give someone double the chance to get a Kitten!" Shinji exclaimed. He too began to see the fun in the game. It was far more than UNO or other similar games, such as Crazy Eights, Bartok, Take the Train, Give Me the Brain, or Mao. No wonder it was the number one kick-starter ever.

"Right," Ryo said. "Unless the victim of the card plays an Attack card herself, in which case her turn ends there." She showed everyone another card as an example. It depicted a blue-haired girl holding a platter of neatly trimmed sandwiches and read 'Attack. Give someone your best knuckle-sandwich'. Didn't the man on the card almost look like he had a scar on his face. No. That was a smudge. "And then the next player has to take two turns." She then went on to explain Skip cards, Favor cards, Shuffle cards, and See the Future cards.

"See the future," Kaname whispered. That had an ominous ring about it, for some reason.

"Are you alright, Kaname." Kyoko saw the expression on her friend face. Kaname nodded her head, but said nothing.

"And… we won't use them at first…but there are special combos." Ryo pointed. "See on the card… this icon…" The Nope card had a red octagon with a white hand at the center. She picked up an attack card, its icon was a white lightning bolt in a yellow circle. "You can play two or three of a kind, or five cards, each with a different type of icon. When doing so, you ignore the instructions on the cards"

"I won't be able to remember all this," Shinji griped.

"Here," Ono D took a pen out of his pocket… grabbed Shinji's hand… and began written rules on it.

"Hey!" Shinji pulled his hand away abruptly. That left a long black line. "A little help!" He looked at Sousuke. His friend remained motionless.

"Boys," Maya said.

"Tell me about it." That was Mizuki.

"I prefer men." That was Reiko. No one felt brave enough to ask exactly what she meant by that.

"So does Shinji!" Ono D ruffled the other boy's hair. Shinji, enraged, returned the favor. They both dared to do the same to Atsunobu, who remained nonplussed, of course. Then, they looked at the girls, evil in their eyes.

"Don't… you… dare…" Kaname was looking at Sousuke, not Ono and Shinji. She expected Sosusuke to come to her defense in some overdone fashion. He just gave her a quizzical look.

"It looks like we need Defuse cards that work on boys," Maya remarked. "You were saying. Combos."

Kazuo snapped out of a trance. He had walked over to close to the other students, because he had been too caught up in learning the rules to pay attention to his placement. Luckily, he had been holding his recorder properly. Hopefully there would be some bigger fireworks soon, to spice things up. If not, things would still be acceptable. There was still value in filming a get-together of friends.

"Two of a kind," Ryo said. "You can steal a card from a player, just like when you play two cards without instructions. "Three icons of the same type, and you can tell the player what kind of card you want. If they have it, you get it. If not, you get nothing."

"Like Shinji!" Ono D looked like he had told the best joke ever. "Cha-chinnnnng!" No one paid any attention.

Shinji didn't frown at Ono D. He looked over at Sousuke. 'Traitor,' he thought.

"Five different cards," Ryo said. "And you can go through the Discard pile and take any card you want. But, you better be fast, so someone doesn't Nope you before you're through." After that they started the first game.

At one point, Kyouko played a pair of No-Instruction cards. Each card had a colored drawing of a taco with cat ears and a feline face. It was saying 'I'm a palindrome.'

"Palindrome," Sousuke asked. "I don't believe that I've heard that word before." He knew a great deal of English, but not that term. He wondered if there was a similar word in Japanese, Russian, Farsi, or the Afghan dialects he knew. While he wasn't always the best student, there were extenuating circumstances. He was brighter than anyone at the school gave him credit for, including Kaname. Especially Kaname. She still had a bit of a Sousuke-chip on her shoulders, after some of his earliest stunts.

"See, my card says 'Tacocat,' said Kyouko kindly. "It's spelled the same way backwards and forwards."

"That's a palindrome," Kaname said as if Sousuke should be embarrassed for his ignorance. "I'm surprised you didn't know that. Aren't there palindromes in the military?" She immediately felt like she was trying to make Sousuke pay for something. That wasn't who she should be. She couldn't keep thinking that the world was against her, and that Sousuke was part of the problem. If anyone was part of the solution, it was him. Right? "If there are… well you know… you can tell us… just this once."

"Thank you, Kaname." Sousuke had never been put off by Kaname's barbs during the earliest days of his assignment. He had been through so much worse growing up, and in military groups before Mithril. But… strangely enough… the more he got to know her, the more the barbs started to hurt. Why? Was he losing his effectiveness as an operative?

"I-" Sousuke thought a moment, doing mental gymnastics. He now knew what a palindrome was. "There is a stand-off weapon used by Mithril…" He shook his head. "No, I did not mean that word. There is a stealth cruise missile called the SAW5-Murdrum. An Old English word meaning 'a secret killing.' I-" He had said enough,

"Go ahead," Kaname said, fluffing her hair and faking a smile. "I can see on your face that you though of another."

"The ACD-11 Alala is named after a Hawaiian crow." He saw that everyone was listening politely. Somehow, he felt it was alright for him to be him. "It is an autonomous American combat vehicle, an armed helicopter powered by A.I…. artificial intelligence." He thought about Al.

"I've died and gone to heaven," Shinji said. Ismail ibn Kathir … unabridged name Abu al-Fida' 'Imad Ad-Din Isma'il bin 'Umar bin Kathir al-Qurashi Al-Busrawi…was a highly influential historian and scholar during the Mamluk era in Syria. He had once said something to the effect of 'The Prophet Muhammad was heard saying: 'The smallest reward for the people of paradise is an abode where there are 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine, and ruby.' Shinji would be bored there. His idea of paradise was place where he could talk military talk from dusk to dawn.

"Ahhh-" Sousuke thought of something. "Repaper… I had to repaper Captain-" He coughed. No… no ranks. "Miss Testarossa's cabin-"

"You were in a girl's bedroom!" Tsubaki misinterpreted the last word. "You deviant! You cad! Kaname's too good for the likes of you. Philaterer!" He spoke the last word in English. It didn't mean what he thought it did. It meant 'someone who collects stamps.' And, it was actually 'philatelist.'

Kaname should have known better. She had been fine with things until she heard the karate-fanatics remark. "Bed… room… Sousuke. Tessa's bedroom. What… (pause)… were… (pause)… you… (pause)… doing… (pause)… in… (pause)… Tessa's bedroom?"

"Uhhh-" That was Sousuke's standard answer; but, at that moment, the hesitation seemed like the admission of guilt. Kaname was turning pink. It-" Now she was turning red. "I-" She was well on her way to scarlet. That was like going from alert state DEFCOM 3, increase in force readiness above that required for normal readiness… to DEFCOM 2, next step to nuclear war… to DEFCOM 1, nuclear war.

"It was probably something innocent," Ren said, playing her type of real-life Defuse card. "Right, Sousuke?"

"Affirmative," Sousuke said quickly. "Tessa was trying on hair color… blue… in her cabin…" Something a Captain aboard the most advanced submarine should not be doing, for personal and professional reasons. "I was the only one she could trust, who would not start rumors immediately thereafter." He pictured Mao's and Weber's faces. "The Cap-… Tessa… is clumsy. You all know that. She got dye all over her wallpaper." The wallpaper had a pattern similar to one that she remembered from her childhood. For psychological reasons, Commander Mardukas had retracted his demands for its removal even though frippery and frilliness had no place on a ship of war.

Kaname began to defervesce… at least until Ono D looked to stir up trouble by saying "She probably just wanted Sousuke in her boudoir. You know how the shy teenage girls are. It's all an act. They're sexual panthers!" Kaname began her color change again, like a Panther chameleon. Kyouko wondered what DVDs and magazine Ono D must be into. She took a few steps away from him.

"Does anyone else know any English palindromes," Atsunobu asked, earning Ren's gratitude. He gave her a wink. "I have one. Racecar. A race car."

"Releveler," Shinji added. His word was longer! Hah! "Someone who levels again." He heard that in a chat room for online video games.

"That's not a real word," Mizuki claimed.

"It is," Atsunobu mentioned. "Aibohphobia… a joke word meaning 'fear of palindromes' … is a fake word."

After that, the other students mentioned words, many purposely doing it to help insulate Sousuke from Kaname. He had edged his way a little bit further into their hearts. Words included reviver, rotator, redder, revver, civic, kayak, level and-

"Radar!" Sousuke remembered a military term that everyone there should know. In case they didn't, he helpfully added "The United States Navy acronym for RAdio Detection And Ranging. Before the Second World War, researchers in the United Kingdom, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, the Soviet Union, as well as the United States, independently and in great secrecy, developed technologies that led to the modern version of radar. Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and South Africa followed pre-war Great Britain's radar development, and Hungary generated its radar technology during the war."

Kaname was too stunned by the swift verbal avalanche to grow irate immediately thereafter. Ryo rushed to start gameplay, and Sousuke and Kaname's version of a Cold War was soon forgotten.

As one might expect, everyone had a great deal of fun. Sousuke did not ask to play. Instead, because he had been so well behaved, Ryo asked him to play and everyone else except Kaname encouraged him. Before he knew it, he had become immersed in the culture. Everyone else seemed to gradually forget he was a one-man walking-WMD. The people who had played the game before even took the time to teach him about strategies.

"As long as you have a Defuse card, grab as many cards as you can," Ryo offered. "Don't play any card unless you really have to. The more cards you have, the more options you'll have when things get hot. The more cards you have, the smaller the chance an important card will get stolen from you. The more cards you draw, the more chance you'll have at drawing an extra defuse card. Which in turn will give you extra confidence in grabbing even more cards."

"I see," Sousuke said. "Thank you." He started to say "It's like keeping as much A.S. ammo as you can until the final approach, and-" He stopped when he realized what he was doing. He didn't need to look, knowing that Kaname was standing behind him. He closed his eyes, but there was no halisen strike… book whack… or nuclear noogie.

"Don't look into the future if you can't change it," Maname said at the start of the next game. Sousuke had been asked to remain in the game. Some of the others had gone on a snack run. "A See the Future card lets you see the top three cards of the Draw pile. If you don't have a Skip, Attack or Shuffle card, there's no point in looking at the top three cards. At the end of a turn, one must always take a card from the draw pile. So, unless you can actually change the future, don't look at it. You'll waste cards."

"Excellent advice," Sousuke said. He had a See the Future card in hand.

"Don't shuffle if the future is unknown for all," Michiru chipped in. "Some players seem to shuffle the cards just because they have a Shuffle card. This is not UNO where you have to get rid of your cards as fast as possible. If the players in your group know nothing about the future, then after shuffling the cards, they will still know nothing about the future. So, you won't change a thing except losing a card."

"I see," Sousuke said again. He became more intrigued. There was more to an A.S. battle than aiming, dodging, or firing away. Here, however, things were not a matter of life or death.

"I know this one might be hard for you," Maya said, smiling, not being facetious. "Save an Attack card 'til the very end. When you reach the end of the Draw pile, there will be x Exploding Kittens cards left. With 'x' being the number of remaining players minus one. So, if two players are still alive at the end, there will be one Exploding Kittens card left. If you draw that card, you will have to Defuse it and put it back in the deck. Meaning the only Exploding Kitten card will still be only one in the deck. If you throw an Attack card, your opponent will have to draw the Exploding Kittens card, defuse it, put it back into the deck and draw it a second time. Chances are that he will not have a second defuse card. And so, you'll win the game."

"Shit!" Shinji's eyes looked like they were spinning. It was merely a reflection of the overhead paddle fan. "My heads going to explode."

"It's not a pretty sight," Ono D said, doing a good imitation of Sousuke's voice. The girls growled. One of them actually patted Sousuke's hand. "I mean… it's because… I've seen a lot of heads explode." He was none to happy when he got the silent treatment. People couldn't get this level of humor just anywhere!

"Here's a real dirty plan," Keiko. "It's your mission, if you choose to accept it. Steal a complete hand of another player." Everyone had lost track of just how many games they had played. It had long since become dark outside.

"Only an asshole would do that," Shinji said. "He had a pen in hand. "Want me to write that down for you, Ono D."

"Take it outside, you two," Kaname said. "Way way outside. Like Kagoshima."

"Shinji was kind of right… about the asshole part," Tomomi said. "Save as many Favor cards and cat cards as you can. Favor cards will let you force a player to give you a card of their choosing. A pair of cat cards will allow you to steal a card from another player. If you have enough Favor cards and cat cards, pick a player with the smallest number of cards. Now play all your Favor cards first. He'll give you his 'junk' cards first, which might include some cat cards that pair up with some of yours. Then play all your pairs of cat cards to steal the rest of his cards. Not only will you have a bunch of extra cards, but he will also be left without any cards to defend himself."

"Wow, that just did a fly by.." Mayuko swept her hand quickly above the top of her head. "How can anyone remember all this stuff. What kind of evil genius came up with all these rules?"

Kaname abruptly thought 'Leonard Testarossa,' for some reason. That jerk had stolen her first kiss. She wished she could put a grenade in his pretty boy mouth and pull the pin. Wait! Here she was thinking violent thoughts, while Sergeant Slaughter over there was playing Ghandi.

"If you can, bluff some cards out of someone's hand," Ryo said. "If you've looked at the future and saw no Exploding Kittens, throw a Skip card anyway. It'll scare your opponents into thinking there is an Exploding Kittens card waiting for them. They'll throw out cards to defend them while they might actually need them later in the game."

"Tactically brilliant," Sousuke said. He too had a random thought. He thought that Tessa might like a game like this. Opening his mouth to say just that to Kaname, he thought better and zipped it.

"Don't forget the Nopes," Kazuo had gotten caught up again. He had played Exploding Kittens many times before. "I mean… you should…" What the heck. He had spoken, and no one was putting up their hands trying to hide from the camera. No one was asking him to leave. Maybe he could ask that Shinji guy to do some filming, and he could play some. "Remember! You can throw a Nope card at any time. Even if it's not your turn. So… if you've stacked the Exploding Kittens card for a specific player… you can always force the players to do their turn by Noping their Skip, Attack, or Shuffle card." Sharing something this way almost made him feel like he was part of the gang. "Also, when a player uses the Favor card to force you to give them a card, never give them a Nope card, just throw your Nope card."

Sousuke was feeling very appreciative. In this game, the others were his foes. And yet, they had been teaching him how to defeat them, in a manner of speaking. That would almost be like someone in Amalgam giving help to someone in Mithril or vice versa. Something like that could never happen. For a moment, he questioned whether he had been taught correctly, That was unkind. And, the strategies made sense.

"Here's one last suggestion," Atsunobu offered. No one would have guessed that the sedate and proper young man had been a card counter at a casino on more than one occasion. Catching sight of Shinji doing camerawork, he waved before continuing. "If you have a good memory… keep your eyes on the cards. Always keep in mind: there are four attack cards… four skip cards… four favor cards… four shuffle cards… five See the Future cards… and five Nope cards. Also recall that each time one is played, it goes into the Discard pile. As you watch every card that goes into the discard pile, you can narrow down which cards are left. By using this technique, you have a better chance of determining which cards you may draw …and you'll have an easier time seeing a player's bluff."

"Like using blanks," Kaname said, "When the other guy has bullets." She clapped a hand over her mouth and turned red when everyone went 'MMMmmm HHHmmm' as if she had caught cooties from Sousuke. She had been around him all too much. He was rubbing off on her. But then again, maybe she was rubbing off on him too. He had been sedate and sociable for a long while now, without any major flare-ups.

As the games stretched on, Kaname thought about Sousuke as she watched him play, whenever she wasn't in the game herself. Maybe this could be the first step in his making progress at school. It would be like giving a crutch to a man who couldn't yet walk without one, until he got a cast taken off and then could walk on his own. She felt a bit warm inside. It made her feel good, thinking about things going well for Sousuke.

The hands moved across the clock face; but, it was not a problem. It was Friday night, and no one had a curfew. Kaname just hoped that Sousuke wouldn't get called away for an urgent mission. That might put a stop to the progress he was making. He was almost like Tarzan of the Apes, brought back into polite British society.

First, she pictured Sousuke swing from a vine with only a loincloth on. That had her face growing warm and her breaths coming faster. But, before she knew it, the picture changed somewhat. Sousuke-Tarzan was still swinging, but now he was gunning down ivory poachers with a submachine gun and dropping grenades on rival gorilla gangs. She consciously fought to change that vision. She saw Sousuke in a tuxedo, immaculately coiffed and hobnobbing with a fine aristocratic crowd. A serving cart came out with a large silver covered platter. She smiled and licked her lips. It would be cake or fine pastries, or maybe berries and clotted cream. It wasn't. When the cover came off, there was an A.S. pilot's helmet underneath.

"Damn it!" Kaname said, unaware that she spoke aloud. She told everyone that she was fine. Was she really? This kind of thought process was a bit worrying. Did she have PTSD or something? After that hijacked plane flight, it was a wonder that they all didn't have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Everyone had warmed to Sousuke, alright. At one point, when he inadvertently said something very sweet, Kyoko gave him a hug. Once, Ono D slapped him on the back in comradery fashion. Maya and Ryo were playing tug-of-war with his arms at one point, wanting him to sit next to them in the next game. How quickly things can change, Kaname thought. Maybe she had misjudged Sousuke. Maybe they all had. For some reason, she thought about a TV show she had seen: 'Pit Bulls and Parolees.' She thought about the show when she headed for the restroom.

Kaname knew that there were very contentious opinions the globe around, when it came to Pit Bulls. Some people considered each and every one of them to be extremely dangerous. Some thought of them as killers, that should be outlawed or put down outright. Others thought that they were misunderstood, the victims of misconceptions about a breed of dog that was once famous in television shows like 'The Little Rascals'. They had gone from from mascots to monsters, even though there was no scientific evidence that they are always a hazard.

"When the dogs do seriously injure someone-" Kaname said to herself aloud, before thinking the rest: most of them had not been socialized… were sexually intact… and didn't know the person they attacked. Well, Sousuke knew her. She was working at getting him socialized. And… well… he was… ummm…sexually intact. That had her blushing. There had been times, she had to admit, that she had wanted to do something that would have changed that status! But, the person who truly needed to be neutered was Kurz Weber.

"Am I like the police in some cities?" Kaname suddenly felt the unconscious need to do more soul searching. When pit bulls are compared to other dog breeds, police are more likely to shoot first and ask questions later with the pit bull terriers. There have been cases where police have shot and killed dogs at the wrong house, or just killed dogs that were going about their own business. How often did she jump to conclusions with Sousuke?

"And the poor dogs used in dog fighting…." Kaname sighed. That was so sad, the cruelty of man against animal. The things that some degenerates called sport! "It's like Sousuke. As a boy, he…." She felt as if she would start crying. She wouldn't. She was Kaname Chidori! But, she had been through a lot too, and wondered how she might turn out some day. "Some dog fighting is professional," Kaname thought, trying to push thoughts away from her life and Sousuke's past. "That's usually rural. And then there's urban dog fighting, which is usually the 'my dog can beat your dog' kind of nonsense."

"Good job Sousuke!" Kaname was too lost in thought to know who had called out that congratulations when she returned. Looking over at Sousuke, she remembered something else she had read somewhere.

The United States Pentagon had approved a pet policy that banned the presence of Pit Bulls, Rottweilers, Dobermans, Chows, and Wolf Breeds from military housing, with the exception of those that were grandfathered in. That policy was a reaction to dog attacks that had been reported on Air Force, Navy, and Marine Corp bases worldwide. The dog attacks had been rare. And, most if not all were the result of human irresponsibility. What Kaname did not know… and Sousuke could have told her if asked… was the fact that Pit Bulls and Pit Bull Breeds had been heroes many times in the history of the U.S. military. How the mighty had fallen.

Take the example of 'Sergeant Stubby', the most decorated dog in U.S. military history. He served in the 102nd Infantry 26th Yankee Division in World War I, in the trenches of France, where he warned troops of attacks… captured a German spy on his own… was wounded by a grenade and given a Purple Heart…warned troops of gassings after being gassed himself … kept up the morale of troops… all while being involved in seventeen battles and four major offensives. He was the only dog promoted to Sergeant. He was invited to the White House by three presidents: Woodrow Wilson, Warren Harding, and Calvin Coolidge. He was awarded three service stripes… a Yankee Division YD patch… a French Medal Battle Verdun… a 1st Annual American Legion Convention Medal… New Haven WWI Veterans Medal… Republic of France Grande War Medal… a St. Michael Campaign Medal… a Wound Stripe, later replaced by a Purple Heart… and Thierry Campaign Medal.

But Sergeant Stubby was by no means the first pit bull hero. Another renowned dog was 'Jack,' who served in the American Civil War. Jack understood what each and every bugle call meant, while serving with the 102nd Pennsylvania Infantry, his career spanning all of that regiment's battles in Virginia and Maryland. He was present at Spotsylvania and the siege of Petersburg, where he would go out and find the dead and wounded soldiers of his regiment once the fighting ceased. He was able to escape capture numerous times, and survived the battle of Antietam, where twenty-three thousand humans were killed. Later, he was captured twice, and became the only dog traded for a prisoner of war, a Confederate soldier at Belle Isle.

Sousuke was feeling warmer and fuzzier than he had before. In his youth, he had been cherished by some, ignored by others, and used as a tool by others yet. But, there had been moments that had pulled him away from the brink of being nothing more than a soulless killing machine. He remembered being praised by the mujahedeen for his sniping skills, proud when they gave him a necklace made from the ears of the soldiers he had killed. He also remembered sitting in the tents of the camp's women of ease, as they fussed over him and called him a handsome and strong boy, one who would some day break the will of a strong-willed woman and make her his slave. He coughed, sneaking a peak at Kaname. Tessa had reassured him once, that Whispered cannot read minds. He hoped that she had been telling the truth.

Moreover, even when he was not directly participating, this game was more fun to observe than the one Mao sometimes played with Kurz. No. It would be more accurate to say Mao played on Kurz. When the Sergeant Major got drunk… and still had a list of grievances with the former model's name on it… she played a game of her own making, happily naming it 'Scrambled Eggs.'

"Uhhh-" Sousuke pictured the game now. Mao would put Weber in a choke hold… pull his head back so he couldn't see what she was doing… and then drop a grenade in his pants, pull-ring in her mouth. Kurz wouldn't know if it was a dummy grenade… flash grenade… concussion grenade… fragmentation grenade… or white phosphorus grenade. Needless to say, Mardukas outlawed that game being played aboard DaDanaan. He couldn't give a rat's ass what they did to each other on dry land.

Luckily for Kurz, he was right when he said he could whip things out of his pants faster than anyone else he knew.

All good things must come to an end. No, that was not referring to the demise of Sergeant Weber. 'There is an end to everything, to good things as well.' That proverb dated back to Chaucer and was apropos that night. The game finally wound down, as more and more students made their way home yawning, or went off in small groups to satisfy their munchies.

As the group was breaking up, Maya said to Ryo "Will you be getting Bears versus Babies soon?"

"I hope so," Ryo said. "I have already gotten the Kittens expansion kits 'Imploding Kittens' and 'Streaking Kittens'."

"What is Bears versus Babies," Ena asked.

"Bears versus Babies is a card game where you build handsome, incredible monsters…" Ryo chuckled. "Who go to war with horrible, awful babies. It was created by the same people who made Exploding Kittens

"I read about that!" Shinji had seen an add in A.S. Fan Quarterly. "Bears are built. They come in the form of heads, torsos, arms, and legs… you connect the cards where they fit…"

"Right," Ryo said. "You form an army of creatures in front of you. Babies are played immediately into the center of the table, to form a Baby army that has to be stopped immediately by all players in the game." She spoke about armies and destruction with no worries now. She couldn't ever believe that she had been afraid of Sousuke Sagara.

"That's right!" Shinji chimed back in. "You go to war by provoking the babies. When you play a provoke card, the babies attack everyone at once. If your creatures are stronger, you win and eat-"

"The babies," Ryo said. "But if the babies are stronger than your creatures, they win and your army is devoured and-"

"-Discarded from the table." That was Maya. "What? It wasn't hard to figure out."

"So…" Sousuke rubbed his chin. "Let me guess… the trick is to provoke the babies before your opponents are ready. As Sun Tzu said 'Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win'. So-"

"Sousuke." Kaname didn't shout. She quietly said then name. She was getting better, too.

"I apologize," Sousuke said. After Ryo laughed and patted his cheek, he continued where he left off. "So.. in that game… you will be fighting each other, at the same time you are fighting babies…."

"Yes," Shinji said. "And it's great. You win by eating more babies than anyone else."

Everyone stared at the boy. Great? Eating babies? Maybe he needed to get out more.

When Kaname and Sousuke were the only ones left, Kaname praised the young mercenary. "You did very well tonight, soldier. I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you, Kaname," Sousuke said. "That… means something to me…." It truly did.

"Great!" Kaname put her hands on her hips and preened. The world should take note. Kaname Chidori had tamed the savage beast, just like Anne Darrow, Fay Wray's character in the original movie version of King Kong. Wait. Things didn't end so well in that film. Never mind! "Keep up the good work, mister!"

"I will try," Sousuke said. "It is a good thing… learning about friendship…."

"Well, I have a way to speed that up." Kamame showed her schedule book to Sousuke. "See… here… here… and here… these are game days or game nights. Because people's schedules are so tight, I've added Saturdays and Sundays to the list. There's an open weekend four weeks from now…"

The way that Kaname was looking at him, Sousuke knew that she expected him to volunteer. So, he did.

"Nothing weird, Sousuke," Kaname said. "Nothing dangerous." She tossed her hair. "And make certain that it's something exciting…."

"Affirmative," Sousuke replied.

Kazuo shut off his recorder. He certainly had a lot of material, but wasn't certain what to do with it. He would have to make it a point to attend more game nights.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A large group of students were walking in the direction of Jindai High, converging from different directions.

"Why are there so many trucks on the street?" Kyouko asked. Her hair looked squeaky clean and she smelled of strawberries.

"I bet it's for the street festival," Shinji said, dressed in a camouflage-colored pullover. "I think that's being held down town today. It would be a great pace to visit after our games." He was a week off.

"That would be great," Ono D said. "I wouldn't mind pigging out today!" He had on a white button-down shirt and tan pants.

"Me too," Maya added. "I'm so hungry, I could eat from a bucket." She like the other girls had dressed in their casual-best-to-impress. But, they would never admit that.

When Kaname arrived, she had everyone line up outside of the front gate of the school and took notes. "Sousuke Sagara…" When Sousuke did not answer, she called three more times without reply.

"Great," Tsubaki said. "It's his game day, and he's not here." It was time for him to be a hero. "My uncle has a game parlor. We can all go there." His only reason to have a bubble was for it to be burst.

"There's no need for that," Sousuke said, holding an open door. Somehow he had gotten in, even though Kaname was the only one who had been given a key. She had suspicion that Atsunobu, her superior on the Student Council must have a copy, too.

"Alright everybody-"Kaname began climbing up the stairs to the second floor before anyone else. She was leading the gang to their trusty club room, resplendent in a frilly new blouse and a long sought-after pair of new clogs.

"It's this way," Sousuke called out, staying on the ground floor. "I've set things up outside today." That had everyone mumbling to one another. They scratched their heads, trying to remember what card games or board games had any reason to be played outdoors.

"Outside-" Kaname tried to elbow her way to the front of the procession, apologizing to anyone she bumped into. But, before she could reach Sousuke and get particulars, most of her classmates had made their way to a large courtyard, surrounded on all four sides by school buildings. "Wait… first I need to check…."

As Kaname stepped out on to the grassy ground, she was nearly bowled over by the remaining students.

"Good," Sousuke said. He held a metal box in one hand. He flicked on switch, and the sound of locking doors could be heard. The sound came from every door accessing the enclosed area. "As you can see, this is better than our room upstairs. There is no need for a table. And, there is no five-person limit. All can take part."

"Take part in what, Sousuke?" Kyouko looked around the courtyard. There were no tables. There was no seating arrangement.

"What are those for," Ryo asked. She pointed to enormous boxes near the far building. They had holes in the side. "What's that noise." There was a scuffling sound inside two of the boxes.

"Sousuke…." Kaname had a bad feeling. "Why are the doors locked?" A number of other students looked a bit pensive as well.

"I will explain, Kaname." Sousuke said. "I must first thank Ryo for my inspiration. "She exposed me to Exploding Kittens. And I must also mention Maya, who suggested Bears Vs. Babies." That had a number of people perking up. Were they going to play that game? "But my greatest regards goes to Chidori. She encouraged me. And she scheduled this day for me."

"I-" Kaname hoped today would be a great day, one she would want to take credit for.

"Not only that, but Kaname has made great effort to get other students to participate in athletics," Sousuke nodded to Kaname. "For school spirit… for comradery… and for improved cardiovascular health."

"And to prevent secretary spread!" Shinji laughed when a number of girls turned their butts away from everyone else. "Hey, watch it!" Someone had thrown a compact at him, barely missing. He had meant 'increased body weight or girth as a result of sitting in a chair for the majority of one's working hours,' not 'the tendency of clerical and administrative staff in corporate environments to offer sex and romance with superiors as an inducement to professional advancement.' What was wrong with that? He wasn't some creep!

"Also so the guys could get to see the girls in buruma," Ono D added He was talking about bloomers, tiny high-cut gym shorts that hug the body and expose the entire thigh. "Yowser! With some tight fitting tops. More bounce to the ounce… owww-ww-w…." Mizuki kicked him hard in the shin. Was it because he was a teenage boy in heat and a misogynist in training, or because she didn't have enough to bounce?

"So… I combined Exploding Kittens with outdoor exercise," Sousuke said, pleased with his efforts. "And… using the Mathematics that Kaname tasks me to improve… I combined two good things to make one good thing better." That had everyone looking confused. What kind of math was that? He walked over to another object that had not been there before that day. A large blackboard borrowed from one of the class rooms, sitting on a jury-rigged tripod made of school chairs. "I will now explain the game." He took out a box of colored chalk.

"The doors are locked," Sousuke said. "They can only be opened by a new set of card keys that I had encoded." He looked at his watch. "They will also open on their own in three hours, at the end of our scheduled playing time."

Students called out questions, but Sousuke ignored them. He heard a banging at the door nearest to him, and a few moments later saw Kazuo at the window, with his camera. He hadn't made it in time. He motioned in the direction of the door. Sousuke shook his head and pointed to his watch. He then walked to the blackboard.

"This game will be simpler. There will be tricks and strategies, but not as many. And there will be only one turn per game, during which everyone will play. Some things will be familiar. There will be cats…" He drew a rough outline of a cat. "There will be pigs…." He drew a pig. "There will be goats… " He drew a goat. "There will be mystery animal…" He drew a large question mark.

"You mean cards, right?" That was Miki. Her question also went unanswered.

"Again," Sousuke continued. "As in the prior game… if you explode, you lose. If you don't, you win." He smiled. "In this game… everyone can be a winner." He then looked very serious. "Everyone can be a loser, too. I do not recommend that." He went back to the board and drew a box with 'Cards' in the center. Next, he drew a 'Discard box'. Then, he then took a chalk eraser and erased the boxes. "There is no discard box. There is no card pile. Cards must be found or gathered. The items found with the cards must be used."

"I see," Ren said. "This will be something like an Easter Egg hunt."

"No," Sousuke said. "No rabbits. No eggs."

"A scavenger hunt, then." That was Mayuko.

"No," Sousuke said. "No scavengers. But yes, you will hunt and be hunted." There was a loud murmur before he drew a Defuse card. "These are crucial," he said. "They will be found attached to Bears." He drew a Teddy Bear. "These are also paramount." He drew a Skip card. "They will be attached to Babies." He drew a Western style baby doll. He then drew a bucket and said "You will notice there are upended buckets spread across the grassy area. Most are empty. Some cover Nope cards." He drew one. "Others cover Defuse cards." He drew a colored arrow back to his original Defuse card drawing. "Favor Cards are within the balloons."

"Huh?" Tsubaki looked around, hand held out above his eye as he scanned his surroundings.

"What balloons," Michiru asked.

Sousuke threw another switch. Gas cannisters began filling large tethered balloons. "Pulling the cords on a balloon will cause it to burst and release the card."

"This sounds crazy," Shiori said.

"I think it sounds fun," Shinji countered. He looked over at Ono D who nodded. Boys against the girls! Whatever the game was.

"We haven't heard everything yet," said Kaname. "Have we Sousuke?" She took out her cellphone. Should she call an Administrator on-call? She was the responsible one here. Well, her and Atsunobu. Should she trust Sousuke and let things continue, or call a true authority, and let him decide. She could picture the Vice Principal chewing Sousuke out… maybe even expelling him.

"Miss Chidori is correct," Sousuke said. "The game set up is elegant, if I may compliment myself." He took another color chalk and drew a small shape on a Defuse card. It looked like a drop of water. "The Defuse cards under buckets are attached to the knobs to the courtyard water faucets." He drew an 'X' like shape next to it. "The Defuse cards on Bears carry wire cutters. The Skip Cards on babies hold key cards, that allow access for one person back into the school. The Nope cards under buckets suspend handcuffs, which you can apply to one player or two players if you desire a Combo. Shuffle Cards will be found in the pouch of the mystery animal."

"Pouch?" Rieko didn't know what to think.

"Those cards will hold the antidote," Sousuke continued, matter-of-fact.

"Antidote?!" Kaname clenched teeth and spoke between them. "This… had… better… not…." She was interrupted when Sousuke walked away from the board.

"But-"Ryo raised a hand, as if she were in class. Realizing what she had done, she lowered it. "What about Attack cards?"

"You will not need any," Sousuke said reaching up to pull a steel line down further. It had a hook at one end, a hook which he attached to his belt. "You will all be the ones under attack." He flicked another switch and ascended ten feet in the air as a small winch squeaked loudly. "Here-"He tossed an aerosol bomb above his friends. It exploded, showering them all with a sticky green mist.

That had everyone speaking up at once. Speaking, wiping their face, or spitting out a nasty tasting liquid they breathed in or swallowed.

Kaname started jumping up trying to grab Sousuke and pull him back down. She looked like a cat leaping after a toy on a string. "I'm warning you Sousuke-" Her voice went up an octave. "I don't need a 'See the Future' card to know what's going to happen to you." She reached back in her pocket for her phone. She had dropped it somewhere.

"Wh-wh-what-"Kyouko was coughing. Ono D patted her on the back and turned to give Sousuke a very nasty look. "What was that, Sousuke."

"A pheromone," Sousuke replied. He did not say that the liquid was an unbelievably potent pheromone created through Black Technology, of course. "Similar in effect to Nepetalacone…" A substance found in catnip. "…And Dihydroactinidiolide…." A substance found in silver vine. "They are cat attractants."

Everybody called out at once, confused, angry, or frightened.

"I cannot reach the board from here. I need a volunteer." Sousuke spoke calmly, as if everyone might want to be of use. It was much the opposite. But, one person went to the board: Shinji.

"Shinji, please draw an ovoid box and a smaller square box on the cat drawing." Sousuke said. "The small box is the timer and detonator… the larger one is the bomb." Not wanting to upset anyone he added "The device will cause no harm to cats or humans. They can be defused by cutting the correct colored wires, or being doused with water." After that, he had to shout to be heard over the din.

"This is going to be so cooooo-oooo-ooo-oo-ol," Shinji squealed.

"The cats-"Sousuke was going to explain where the cats came from, but had learned a lesson. He wasn't going to be too verbose. The cats had been used at Mithril bases as mousers. Because they had implanted tracers, they were destined for euthanasia after being replaced by better robotic felines. "The cats will run-to and cling-onto anyone covered with pheromone until the effects wear off, in about twenty minutes. I should add, that water can be used to dilute the pheromone, but I do not know if that will be effective. The antidote attached to the cards in Wombat pouches will be one hundred percent sufficient."

"Wombats," Kaname said. "Wombats, Sousuke?" She felt that this must be some horrible dream. She kept praying she could wake up. "Why in all the Hells did you choose wombats." That was missing the point. She should have asked 'what wombats?'

"I couldn't find any Kangaroos," Sousuke said in a matter-of -fact way.

"Oh… I see… he couldn't find any kangaroos," Mizuki said calmly and quietly, before getting amped up, shouting "Why do we need kangaroos! Tell me that!"

"We don't," Atsunobu said serenely. "Apparently we have wombats." He did not know that the wombats had been cloned by Japanese scientists at Kinki University in Nara. They had been cloning wombats in hope of improving the species' chance at survival, and were going to dispose of the ones with bad genetic coding. They had set their heart on building expertise in genomics, and the Japanese government was pouring funds into a new and sometimes controversial tool called Crispr, encouraging the researchers to advance the technology. They were trailing behind Chinese scientists, who had earlier claimed to use that genetic tool to make wheat resistant to a common fungal disease, dogs more muscular, and pigs leaner.

"I will continue," Sousuke said in a steely voice, one he had learned from Mao. "From now on, it will be best if everyone stays silent and listens. I apologize for being rude, but it is for everyone's best interest. This game will be fun, but we should make certain it is a harmless as possible. For you, and our animal friends." No one said anything. Ryo's and Maya's both had hands over Kaname's mouth.

"The cats-"Sousuke flicked a switch, and the perorated sides on one large box fell away, revealing a cage filled with cats. As soon as the captive animals got a whiff of pheromones, they began vocalizing and drooling. "When they cling to you… a timer will start. If the bomb is not defused within two minutes, the device will explode and cover you with colored powder, in a way far less painful than paint balls fired from a gun." He was very pleased with himself, being thoughtful that way.

"Bombs, Sousuke." Kaname couldn't help herself. "Bombs! How could you think of using bombs?!"

"Kaname?" Sousuke shook his head. "I was not the one to come up with this idea first." His anti-verbosity pledge forgotten, he began by saying "Monkeys were used in the beginning of the Southern Song Dynasty, in a battle between rebels of the Yanzhou province and the Chinese Imperial Army. The monkeys were used as live incendiary devices. The animals were clothed with straw, dipped in oil and set on fire. They were set loose into the enemy's camp, thereby setting the tents on fire, and driving the whole camp into chaos."

"This is better than history class!" Shinji would have said more if it wasn't for the painful Wet Willie he received from an irate Ono D.

"In 1267, the sheriff of Essex was accused of plotting to release flying cockerels carrying bombs over London," Sousuke said. "In World War II, the Soviets used a weapon to mixed success. Canines with explosives strapped to their backs were used as anti-tank weapons. Antigonus II Gonatas' siege of Megara in 266 BC was broken when the Megarians doused some pigs with combustible pitch, crude oil or resin, set them alight, and drove them towards the enemy's massed war elephants. The elephants bolted in terror from the flaming, squealing pigs, often killing great numbers of their own soldiers by trampling them to death. In the modern era, terrorists and insurgents in the Middle East have affixed explosives to camels, sometimes letting them wander alone into camps and bases, and other times having them ridden by suicide bombers."

Those historical accounts had a number of animal lovers turning pale. Man was the only inhumane animal.

"Various armies have also experimented with bats carrying bombs." Sousuke stopped, snapping his fingers. "What an opportune coincidence. The L2 BAT… for Battalion, Anti-Tank…was a 120 mm caliber recoilless anti-tank rifle used by the British Army in the Cold war era. It's nickname was… The Wombat."

"And the F-99 Wombat, colloquially known as the "drone fighter-" That was Ono D, his love of video games overwriting his anger at his current predicament. "-Is an unmanned combat aerial vehicle used by the United Nations Space Command in HALO." He yelped when Shinji kicked him in the rump; he had wanted to say that.

"I should continue," Sousuke said.

"You should die," Kaname said.

"That will probably happen some day," Sousuke said stolidly. "War is a dangerous place." That had Kaname looking suddenly scared for him and regretting her choice of words. "Where was I?" He cocked his head. "Right! We did Cats and Wombats. I should now do Pigs and Goats!" He flipped another switch. Two large boxes opened, releasing a number of large swine and a group of Billy goats. A smaller box released a pair of wombats. "The pigs are very friendly, the goats not so much. Neither will want to be captured. The Bears are strapped to pigs. The Babies are strapped to goats.

"Aren't you afraid that PETA might cause you trouble," Ena asked Sousuke. She didn't have that crush on him anymore. Not after today.

"Negative," Sousuke replied. "I have brought rescue animals. They were destined for Live Tissue Trauma training at one of the eight clinics of the United States Naval Hospital Yokosuka Japan." Live tissue trauma training… also called combat medic training… involves the use of animals… mostly goats and pigs… for the purposes of direct surgical intervention… in which physicians and paramedical personnel obtain surgical skills by treating severe traumatic injuries. Once animals are deeply anaesthetized, wounds of the type army paramedics and doctors are likely to see in combat situations are inflicted. Such wounds are then appropriately treated in order to gain valuable 'trauma care' experience not likely to be offered in any other form. Upon completion of LTTT, animals are humanely euthanized without ever regaining consciousness. "They will find good homes along with the other animals. Because you are all playing the game today, the animals get a new lease on life.

"That's sweet," Ren said, her own predicament temporarily forgotten.

"Don't encourage him!" Kaname said.

"Go ahead… encourage him…" Tsubaki began doing martial arts moves. "I will protect you, Kaname!"

"Sheesh," Tomomi said. "It sounds like somebody gave him Kaname-pheromones."

"Grossss-sss-ss-s." A number of girls said simultaneously.

Inside the building, Kazuo was counting his blessings. He was getting everything on film, and on sound too, having pried open the window and slipped a microphone outside. That, and he was safe inside. He had been lucky after all, after missing a bus.

"I will now give you five minutes to think up your strategies, either alone or in groups. Remember, your ally might very well turn out to be your enemy." Sousuke didn't add 'Just like in wars between mercenary groups, depending how the money went.' He then remembered that Kurz had once been on the other side.

Everyone began thinking feverishly. Shinji quickly stumbled upon one strategy. It was better to be on his own, away from the large groups, who were likely to attract cats, and more likely to attract the greater numbers of cats. He like the others tried to remember where all the faucets were, and spy where the buckets had been left. The others might think that this was going to be scary or stupid, but he couldn't wait.

After the allotted time, Sousuke took out a small air horn and set it off. "Begin!" He said, firing his pistol. Shinji started running. At first, no one followed him. Sousuke flicked another switch. The cat cage opened, and a furry wave of felines boiled across the grass courtyard, before spreading out as individual cats.

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Very few people would speak to Sousuke for the next month.

Kaname, the one exception, was quite vocal after she showered and dressed in her School uniform. She had also retrieved her halisen. Her blouse and slacks were in a dumpster. She had been able to wash the tie-dye look from her face. Her clothing was not so lucky. Besides, no amount of soaping, spinning, and drying would remove all of the claw marks.

After the 'game' was finally over, the whole group of students looked like something out of a 70s hippy's wildest drug-induced dream, or a psychedelic Beatle's album cover. The rest of the students had beat a hasty retreat when the heard the sound of a helicopter, but saw nothing. The sound of something heavy and unseen hitting the courtyard ground didn't help matters. Only Shinji, clean and really feeling alive, had to be sent on his way by Sousuke.

"I told you (whack)-" Kaname hit an disappointed Sousuke on the head. "Nothing weird (whack whack whack)-" She ignored Kyoko's tugging at her shirt. "Nothing dangerous (whack whack whack whack WHACK WHACK WHACK). The heavy paper fan was bent now.

"But, Kanaaaaaamaaaa-aaa-aa-ay…." Kyoto finally got her friend's attention.

"What, Kyouko!" Kaname said that a lot fiercer than she wanted to.

"You really should have known better."

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In the dark of his father's and mother's basement, Kazuo watched his recent cut of his filming project. He pumped his fist, stars in his eyes. Who knows what else he might come across if he secretly followed Sousuke Sagara around further. Screw the idea of being a Wedding Videographer some day!

"I'm sure to win the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival."

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A few weeks later, Sousuke was sitting in the cafeteria with Sousuke.

The girls were sitting at a table at the other end of the room. Ono D sat at a table nearest the one that Kyouko sat at. Atsunobu sat with Ren. By coincidence, Kazuo sat behind them with his trusty camcorder.

"I can't believe that the video made YouTube, Sousuke." Shinji said that with a sense of pride. He featured brilliantly in Kazuo's final cut. He laughed. "He even included that song by the Wombats… 'Walking Disasters." He began hum, before sing-songing the lyrics, barely audible to Sousuke:

She used to get her kicks from a fall to the floor
But now she's always wasted
A total looker, but she's jaded
The kind of shivering wreck that I adore
I can't offer you a rescue
But I can tell you what I'd do

I'd tell my mother that I love her dearly
And tell my father that I need him back again
And if these words won't drop from your lips
I will be your Freudian slip

And flowers might wilt when we walk past
And self-help might help when it makes us laugh
Only finding questions in answers
You and I are just walking disasters
You and I are just walking disasters
You and I are just walking disasters"

Sousuke sighed. When he was in an A.S., he was a walking disaster, like a typhoon or tornado is. Or a jaeger in 'Pacific Rim'. But, when he was in school, it seemed like he and Kaname were walking disasters, with fellow students taking shelter whenever anyone sounded the alarm. He had been very good for the last couple of weeks. He hoped that she was going to let go of her grudge. He also hoped that Tessa could defuse the upper brass at Mithril. They were none too pleased to have a Whispered girl show up in a viral video. For all they knew, Exploding Kittens might be an Amalgam product.

"It's a shame that they kicked you out of Game Night," Shinji added. He wished that he had an I-pod. There were other Wombats songs that were perfect for Sousuke and his nemesis, Kaname Chidori. 'Greek Tragedy'. 'Your Body is a Weapon'. Oh. Yes. Perfect. He sang a little louder this time. He could still remember the beat of that song without electronic assistance. 'Lethal Combination':

"We're a lethal combination, too lost for therapy
Guilty by association, I'll keep you close to me
Baby, let's go and get blind tonight
I'll hold your hair back and you'll hold mine, oh, oh, oh, oh
Say it's all over, unleash the hounds
Every silver lining has a cloud, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Mmmm Mmmm my best friends are my enemies…."

"Keep it down, Poindexter!" A soccer player purposefully bumped into Shinji, wanting to act big in front of his buddies and a girl that he crushed. But, he soon saw who Shinji was sitting with… fumbled and nearly dropped his tray… before scuttling away like a crustacean. "I'm sorry… don't mind me…." There was the sound of a 'thud,' as if the frightened boy had run into someone. The clanging, splashing, and squishing noises were a tell-tale sound of a dropped tray.

"Sagara…." Sousuke's name was spread across the cafeteria, the repeated wording sounding like a spooky echo in a big cavern or cathedral.

Shinji had a self-satisfied look on his face. It was nice sitting with Sousuke. He was like the high school version of OFF: bully repellant. "Look Sousuke!" He held up his latest military otaku magazine. "YOU'VE GOT CRABS!"

"Negative," Sousuke said. "My hygiene meets military standards. I have no crab lice on my eyelashes… or my pubic hair…."

One table over, a girl spat out her chocolate milk. The boy with her began choking on his melon bread.

"That's not what I meant," Shinji said in a hush. Everyone was looking at him as if he had been the one to make that comment.

"Then you must mean one of my favorite movies," Sousuke said. "'Crabs'. Mutated by nuclear runoff in the wake of the Fukushima disaster, a horde of murderous horseshoe crabs descend on the sleepy town of Mendocino, California."

A number of students gave Sousuke an unfriendly look. They still had relatives living in the Fukushima Prefecture. More people were whispering his name now.

"No," Shinji said. "Not that… I meant…."

"You must be making reference to the episode in Wood Shop," Sousuke said, after taking a bite from his MRE. "All I wanted to do was make a scale replica of a Sherman Crab, the British World War II mine-clearing tank based on the American Sherman. There was no problem until I insisted on bringing along working scale models of WWII technology land mines. The shop walls were refurbished and the teacher is home from the hospital." He did not add that Mithril had paid the bills through a shell company.

Even more people were moving to tables away from the two boys. More people looked their way when an exasperated Shinji started off shouting "JUST LISTEN!" He hunched down some and said "I'm talking about a game. From the people that make Exploding Kittens and Bears Vs. Babies."

"Perhaps we should not-" He did not think it wise to bring up anything related to the previous seismic episode. He had been a hair away from being mutated by Kaname's nuclear run-off.

"I-"Shinji caught sight of something and quickly suppressed a grin. He spoke faster, as if he were in some kind of rush. 'You've Got Crabs'.Players form teams of two players each, with max of five teams. Each team meets privately to come up with a non-vocal signal to indicate when either teammate collects four of the same Crab Card.Each player will get a hand of four cards. One side plays at a time. On a side's turn, all players on that side can simultaneously swap any card from their hand with a card from the middle of the table…The Ocean."

Sousuke popped open a can of Wild Tiger. The drink had been a go-to beverage for many American soldiers who deployed to Iraq, where it's ubiquitous in markets and cafes from Basra to Mosul. He found 'Wild T' to be tart, bubbly, fruity, and it quenched thirst, while also providing energy and increased metabolism. It improved his concentration and reaction speed, increased physical endurance, stimulated his metabolism and combated mental and physical fatigue. He would be in tip top shape. No one could possibly creep up on him unawares. Good thing. Kaname had told him in no certain terms to keep military food and drink out of the school.

"When you have four of the same Crab Card, you can't say anything out loud," Shinji said, speaking faster. "Instead, when you're ready, give your secret signal to your teammate." He pulled at one ear. He watched something Sousuke could not see. Ono D was steering someone in their direction. "When he notices, he will point at you and shout, 'YOU'VE GOT CRABS! If he's right, your team gets a point. If he's wrong, your team loses a point."

Sousuke took a long pull from his drink, the silver on its can reflecting in the bright light. He began unwrapping a second MRE.

"However, if a player on another team suspects you're passing a signal, they can point and shout, 'YOU'VE GOT CRABS!' If they are correct, they steal one of your points. If they are incorrect, you get to steal a Crab Token from the accusing player. The game is over when the last Crab Token has been taken from the Crab Pot. At that point, all teams should count up their combined Crab Tokens. The team with the most Crab Tokens wins."

"I thought of another crab," Sousuke said. He thought that Shinji had finished. "The Panhard CRAB… Combat Reconnaissance Armored Buggy… is a new generation of 4x4 armored combat vehicle designed and manufactured by Panhard, unveiled at Eurosatory in 2012. Deliveries of new armored scout cars to the French Army began late last year."

"I see… I see…." Shinji's eyes practically flashed with anticipation. But not about the military minutiae. "But wait… I haven't told you the best part, yet." He showed Sousuke a picture in the magazine. It was a large pair of rubber crab claws that were an accessory to the game in question. "Look at these Imitation crab claws. Large rubber claws the card-holder must wear and try to handle cards if they draw the 'Imitation Crab' card. They give an advantage at getting four of a kind, but make it hard to handle cards. It's hilarious. It would be even more fun as a drinking game, I bet."

"Really?" Sousuke wasn't entirely convinced. "Perhaps it would be more fun than the drinking game Kurz… I mean a friend… forced me to play at a strip club. I had to drink hard liquor from the navel of a nearly naked dancing girl numerous times. I don't know why the woman felt compelled to write her telephone number on my hand."

"I… I don't really know…" Shinji said. "But I think that the girls around here who act like they have PMS should be made to wear the claws. Can you think of anyone who deserves the claws, buddy?"

It was not Sousuke's fault that the image of a blue-haired girl came immediately to mind. It was his fault that he spoke her name. "Kaname…."

"Oh really, Sousuke?"

Naturally, that voice belonged to none other than Kaname Chidori. Next to her stood Ono-D. Some of the girls from the Courtyard Cat-astrophe had gathered to watch.

WHAMMM-MM-M WHAMMM-MM-M WHAMMMMM-MMMM-MMM-MM-M

Sousuke had trusted Shinji. He had caused a disturbance. He had eaten forbidden food. He had broken the military taboo. And he had not paid strict attention to his six.

He should have known better.

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One reference: "The Truth About Pit Bulls: "The Most Feared & The Most Misunderstood" from www. globalanimal .org.

Another one: "War Dogs: Pit Bulls in the military' from www. fight4them. org

Also: liberal use of the Exploding Kittens box and instructions, as well as a number of random Google sites provide copious information, as did '7 rules to excel at Exploding Kittens' by Sam Decrock.

Wikipedia was useful, too.

BTW: the Wombats are indeed a real band. Formed in England in 2003. Four albums. Appearances on late night U.S. television, including The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.