Reality

Harry Potter stared out the window of the Hogwarts express, looking at the beautiful English landscapes.

"Excuse me, do you mind?, Everywhere else is full" A young ginger haired boy asked.

"Sure, not at all" Harry said.

The boy sat down.

"I'm Ron by the way, Ron Weasley"

Roughly five minutes later

"Sunshine..." Ron is interrupted by a young girl with big bushy hair walking into the compartment.

"Excuse me, has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville has lost one" She said.

Ron shook his head, "no."

"Oh? Are you doing magic? Let's see then" She said in a smug fashion.

Ron readied his wand, cleared his throat and "Sunshine daisies, Butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow!"

He pointed his wand at the rat and nothing happened. Ron looked at Harry and shrugged, Harry shrugged back, but the girl was clearly unimpressed.

"Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not really good, is it? Of course, I've only tried a few simple ones myself, but they've all worked for me." She pulled out her wand and stepped into the train compartment.

"For example..." She pointed her wand at Harry's glasses.

"Oi! Just wait one fucking minute you fat cunt!" Ron shouted.

She gasped in shock.

"You don't fucking come into our compartment looking for some stupid blokes fat fucking toad and then tell me what spells are good and what arn't!"

"Excuse me?!" She said back, completely in shock.

"NO! You're not fucking excused! You're just some fucking bitch who walks in and thinks she's better than everyone else, but look at you! You've got fucking ugly as hell bushy hair and you're always looking down on everyone like some prissy bitch hole, why don't you just get the fuck out?!" Ron demanded.

She opened her mouth to reply, but began to cry.

"Yeah, just get the fuck out, you stupid fucking cunt! Never fucking speak to me again!" Ron spat as she ran out the compartment crying.

Harry sat speechless.

Ron smiled at him while grabbing a chocolate frog. He bit off his head, winked at Harry and said...

"Women, Can't live with them, but you can jerk off without them!"