"I was never any good up there anyway."
No good at all.
I mean, I weren't all bad. I got myself a job, for a while. I was good to people. I stole my food from plastic bags instead of meat suits. That ain't so bad, is it?
But it weren't good. I survived, and it was rough. I had one pal in the world and he don't visit. No, no good at all.
And then there was Crystal. I'll bet she was a nice girl. Good. Sweet. Maybe had a life ahead of her.
One real bad night and all that goes away. No more Crystal. I didn't even know I was doing it until it was done - 'till she was done, rather.
(Well, he don't need to know about that stuff.)
I guess, in a way, I always wanted Dean to be the one to gank me anyhow. He picked his brother over me. Not surprising, but it still takes me back here. It's what I deserve. Thanks, Dean. I don't mean that sarcastic-like. Thank you.
I do wonder about what the angel said that one day...where do souls go once they die in Purgatory? Maybe I'll find out. It can't get much worse than living topside.
I just hope that sending Sam back there is gonna give Dean some happiness. I hope I can make things better for him somehow.
Yeah...I wasn't any good up there, so I'll hang around. Get going, Sam.
Goodbye, Dean.
I did my best up there.
Too bad it weren't good enough.