This is a Complete Crack Fiction Parody. with LOTS of Swearing and Sexual jokes. This is Rated MA and not meant for people who can't take a joke(I suggest you avoid this fic then if you can't) or are under 16. Flame if you like. but it won't stop me!
This is completely OOC, AU and is WBCP (Written By a Crazy Person)
(Opinion) I think that Voldemort could actually be a devil and I think he did go to Hell once when Harry first banished him as a baby.
I would like to make it clear that I am not claiming the lyrics. Most of the ideas used on this fic. o
Tenacious D (Owned by and Copyrighted to: Liam Lynch Jack Black Kyle Gass)
Harry Potter (Owned and Copyrighted to: JK Rowling)
Robot Chicken parodies because they are as Random as I am. Hence that's how this fiction was made (owned and Copyrighted to:Seth Green and Matthew Senreich)
Harry Potter Puppet Pals Mainly because a few lines were quoted from them and that's how I hear the lyrics being sung. (Copyrighted and owned by: Neil Cicierega, Emmy Cicierega and Alora Lanzillotta)
A guide so you won't get confused.
Bold and Italic : Voldemort is singing
Italic: Harry and Ron are singing
Nothing changed: just the story
Enjoy
Harry Potter raced out to Voldemort. Ron following him; their wands clutched tightly within their hands. Voldemort up ahead all his horcrux's forming around him. The moment Harry was within a foot of Voldemort; Harry started to glow and his scar faded away. Laughing evilly Voldemort's appearance changed into the form of a Devil.
I am complete!
Stopping in their tracks. Ron and Harry stared up; their eyes popping out of their eyes (not literally) at the new form of Voldemort both shouting at the same time
Fuuuck!
Staring down at them Voldemort pointed at them
Yes you are Fucked,
Shit out of luck!
Now I'm complete and my cock you will suck!
This world will be mine,
and your first in line!
you brought me the Horcrux and now you both shall die!!
Being the hero that Harry is he stepped up
Waaait Waaait Waaait you mother-fucker
we challenge you to a rock off
Ron then joining in with Harry saying
Give us one chance to rock your socks off
Looking surprised that Harry Bloody Potter knew the one trick that would know the one trick to stop him from killing them
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuuck, The Deatheater's code prevents me,
from declining a rock off challenge!
What are your terms?
What's the ca-a-atch?
Harry catching on, He thought of the perfect prize.
If we win,
you must take your sorry ass back to hell
and also you will have to pay Ron's rent
Smirking, Voldemort leaned down glaring menacingly
and what if I win?
Looking at each other then back at Voldemort. "Light-Side Huddle!" Harry shouted then turned around with Ron; discussing the prize for a moment then turning back to face Voldemort.
Harry speaking first. Pointing to Ron.
Then you can take Ron back to hell..
Ron quickly turning to Harry.
What!?
Harry looking at him all cool like.
Trust me Ron it's the only way
W-what are you talking about?! Ron shouted
To be your little bitch Harry then added, still pointing at Ron.
Smirking Voldemort cast a spell that made a stage
Fine!
Let the rock off begin!! He started laughing evilly while playing drums.
I'm the Dark Lord,
I love metal!
Check this riff,
it's Fucking Tasty! He sang as he began playing a very difficult Guitar Riff
I'm the Dark Lord I can do what I want.
Whatever I got I'm gonna flaunt!
There's never been a Rock Off that I've ever lost!
I cannot wait to take Ron Back to Hell
I'm gonna fill him with my hot Dark Lord gel!
I'll make you squeal like The Scarlet Pimpernel!!
Harry then stepped forward after losing his lunch
NOOOO! C'mon Ron!
Not getting a response he turned to see Ron huddled in a Corner
There's just no way that we can win that was a masterpiece
Kneeling down Harry tried comforting him
Listen to me-
But Ron interrupted by adding
He rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man
Getting annoyed Harry forced Ron his feet.
God dammit Ron,
he gonna make you his sex slave,
your gonna gargle Mayonnaise
Ron shook his head in denial, shaking all over
N-N-Noo
Harry then smirked adding
Unless we bust a massive monster mama jam
Ron looked at Harry, remembered all the things they have been though because of this guy.
Dude,we've been through so much shit
Harry then did a smug proud pose as he boasted.
De-activated lasers with my dick
They then sang together as they summoned instruments though they weren't exactly rock material; They were acoustic.
Now it's time to blow this fucker down
Playing the acoustic guitars they summoned they got into a rythm.
(HP) C'mon Ron now it's time to blow doors down
(RW) I hear you Harry now it's time to blow doors down
(HP) Light up the stage 'cause its time for a showdown
(RW) We'll bend you over then we'll take it to brown town
(BOTH) Now we've got to blow this fucker down
(RW) He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down
(HP) C'mon Ron 'cause it's time to blow doors down
(RW) OOOOOOh we'll pile drive ya, It's time for the smack down
Harry then jumped forward and did a solo
Hey desecrater, Voldemort,
we know your weakness, our rock it sauce
we rock the casbah, and blow your mind
we will defeat you, for all mankind
you hold the scepter,
we hold the key
you are the devil,
we are the Light
The Ron jumped forward and they both started to say as they twirled around. Looking like idiots to the War's onlookers.
we are the Light!
we are the Light!
Draco and Hermoine watching from afar and both thinking. 'We are so screwed' They then looked at each other and started snogging. Back with Harry and Ron they were still making fools at themselves
we are the Light!
we are the Light!
we are the Light!
we are the Light!
Voldemort getting annoyed at their idiocy.
You guys are Fucking Lame. Come on Ron your coming with me!
Harry looked at Ron then back at Voldemort thinking 'uh oh!'
Taste my lighting fucker
Voldemort yelled casting a spell.
Running in front of Ron, Harry shouted NOOOO! as everything went slow mo matrix style.
Harry's guitar still around his neck, the spell bounced off the guitar and hit Voldemort cutting off his 'Horn'
OW! Fuck!
My fucking horn!
Then noticing that Harry had grabbed it and was casting a spell.
Oh No!
Smirking with a almost evil glint. Harry continued the spell as Voldemort realized this had been planned.
From Hell you came you shall remain,
until you are complete again
Falling into a endless hole of nothingness that formed around him. Voldemort screamed his final curse to the sky!
NOOOOO!
Fuck you Harry! and Fuck you Ron!
I'll get you Harry Potter!!
After a dramatic moment of silence. Everyone cheered as all Death Eaters who bore the Mark died. Looking smug Harry helped Ron up and turned to go give a very long over dramatic annoying "I am better then you" speech to the war on lookers. which never happened because Ron knocked out Harry with the guitar. "Next time you ask me to do a stupid plan like that again! You be the prize!" Everyone then started cheering for Ron because they saved him from a never ending annoying speech and Harry was kidnapped by fan girls.
END!
well did you hate it? did you piss your pants laughing? Let me know! By the way I have nothing against Harry or fangirls since I am also one. But I thought it would be funny.
by the way The Horn bit is up to you to decide. His baby maker or the horns that formed on his changed when he changed.
One last note for the people who read my Utopia story. It and I are still alive. I just need to retype all of them because of my little issue with over focusing on caps. There were alot of chapters and I'm a lazy Muffin. But it will get done I assure you.